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Husband reluctant to meds

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maddyone Sat 02-Feb-19 10:07:14

Hi everyone, I’m just wondering if anyone has this problem. About three years ago my husband was diagnosed with high (very) blood pressure. He was prescribed medication to control it. He was extremely reluctant to take it, declaring he could easily control it by going running. He did go running for about two/three weeks which did bring the BP down, but of course he didn’t keep up the running and the blood pressure rose. He regularly ‘forgot’ or refused to take the medication. I took over giving him his tablet each day at the same time as I took my medication, and for a while this worked, but he started to get irritated by this saying I was trying to ‘control’ him. I gave the tablets back, but again he regularly ‘forgot’ his medication and said he didn’t really need it and would take it every other day instead of every day! When I was giving him his medication his blood pressure was controlled, when he was responsible for it, his blood pressure was not controlled. Added to this, we have an adult child who has mental health issues and regularly causes problems in the family. When these problems occur, his blood pressure rises alarmingly and he gets very bad headaches along with the high blood pressure. In fact his blood pressure has been so high recently that I suggested he took two of his tablets (I’m on the same medication but at double his dose) and if that worked he could ask the doctor to increase his dose. He did take double dose for a few days and gradually his blood pressure came down. He is now back on one tablet or no tablet and his blood pressure is back up. He simply doesn’t want to take the medication and all reasoning is a waste is of my breath because he simply says I’m trying to control him.
My husband is an active man, always busy in the garden, around the house, fixing things in our three children’s houses, walking our daughter’s dog etc. From time to time he declares he is going to run every day to control his blood pressure, but that only ever lasts a few days. I have suggested joining a gym, playing golf with our son at the weekend, joining a walking football team, etc but he refuses.

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mumofmadboys Sun 03-Feb-19 08:00:01

Don't mention it for a month or six weeks and then suggest he checks his BP. Don't let it cause stress between the two of you.

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maddyone Sun 03-Feb-19 14:33:02

Thank you for all your responses, I've read through them and I've decided to go with the not to make a fuss line. I am offering him each day his tablet each day when I take mine (if I left it entirely to him he would never remember at all) with the words 'Do you want this today?' and I say nothing else at all. I'm not speaking about it again during the day. He has himself decided that he's not going to take his blood pressure every day as he was doing. I'm going to keep my council and not mention blood pressure at all. I'll leave it for six weeks to two months and see how that goes. I think it's the only way.
Those of you who said I shouldn't blame my daughter are right of course, but it's difficult not to when she causes all our family so much stress and upset. My husband and I have different ways of dealing with her and the stress she causes, I have my lovely friends and elderly mother to talk to. My mother went through much the same with my sister, and indeed it still goes on with my sister, but Mum is very pragmatic and usually ignores my sister's horrid texts and such like. My husband is not a big talker and deals with stress by trying to appease our daughter, he is afraid of her cutting him out of our grandchildren's lives which she did once before for a period of several months. It hurt me desperately too, but my blood pressure didn't rise too much as the medication controls it. The medication doesn't control my husband's BP so well, and to be honest he could probably do with the increased dose or a different drug. But I don't want to appear to be trying to control him (even though our daughter does) and so I'm taking the advice to be quiet about it for now.

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BlueSky Mon 04-Feb-19 09:41:14

I have had a life long struggle with high bp which is genetic. I'm now on three bp tablets and I just about manage to keep it at a reasonable level. Been to hospital for all the various tests and luckily there is no target organ damage. Recently wore a 24hr monitor which surprisingly showed lower values that the values showing when I visit the GP or even take the measurements myself. Perhaps this would help if he's willing to have one fitted?

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