Gransnet forums

IVF clinics

(38 Posts)
Catlover123 Sat 09-Feb-19 17:10:57

My daughter is about to visit several clinics offering IVF treatment. She and her husband suffer from 'unexplained infertility' and have been trying for many years to start a family. They don't qualify in their region for any help from the NHS. I wonder about all these 'add-ons' I hear about and what the average cost of treatment is? Do any grans have any family experience of these? also, any tips for Gran?

Marydoll Sat 09-Feb-19 20:20:46

I can't give you info about the add ons, but when my son and DIL went through the procedure, things were very tense, as they were under enormous strain. DIL, then miscarried and completely went to pieces, she kept blaming herself.
We had to tread on eggshells and not ask questions, just wait until they wanted to talk about it.
It is a very emotional rollercoaster for everyone.

The very best advice is to be there for your daughter and SIL and bite your tongue when things get tense.
However, after another round, (their last), DIL became pregnant and after a very difficult pregnancy, our precious wee granddaughter was born.
She was a miracle baby and all the trauma is behind us now.
On the other hand, my DIl's sister had twins via IVF, with a trouble free pregnacy. No-one can predict the outcome.

My very best wishes for all your family and I hope things work out.

LadyGracie Sat 09-Feb-19 23:29:56

I too have a miracle granddaughter now 2 years old. My DD and SIL had IVF ICSI treatment which produced 2 viable embryos, the first produced our beautiful granddaughter and the second is going to be implanted when the time is right in March. The cost this time is approximately £2500, the first was closer to £4000.

I hope you will be blessed as we were.

Flossie777 Sun 10-Feb-19 07:50:37

Catlover123, go onto the HFEA website, and check out her local clinic and there is a lot about the add ins. If it is a good clinic there will be no additional blood tests and procedures.
I hope she and you are lucky.

Disgruntled Sun 10-Feb-19 10:05:06

I don't know if your daughter would consider alternatives, but a combination of Reili and Reflexology seems to work wonders. Also less stressful than the conventional route. Good luck. flowers

chickkygran Sun 10-Feb-19 10:25:17

Hello Catlover123, my daughter and her husband couldn't conceive naturally, also unexplained. After a failed IVF procedure with the NHS, my DD researched IVF clinics and was treated at one in London (can get name if interested). She was very fortunate that the first attempt was successful and we now have beautiful twin grandsons, their 4th birthday celebrated on Friday. They decided to have 2 eggs implanted in the hope that if one failed there would still be another opportunity with a second egg.

As Marydoll says, it is a rollercoaster experience for everyone. The treatment is very intense but my DD feels it was so worth it. In answer to your question it is expensive, I think it was approx £20, 000 for one treatment 4 years ago. There are add ons, it transpired that my daughter had a high level of "killer cells" and had to undergo blood transfusions every 3/4 weeks up to about 25 weeks, which were £1,500 each time.

My advice is to just be as supportive as you can, be there for when your DD needs you. It is a very emotional time and I worried constantly that the treatment wouldn't be successful and the ensuing heartache, to worrying that after all the treatment the babies wouldn't survive. I think it is only natural grans worry about their DDs during pregnancy whether naturally conceived or through IVF.

Really hope it works out for your DD and SIL and sending you best wishes too

GrammaH Sun 10-Feb-19 10:29:52

I don't know of the cost I'm afraid but DD & DSIL were able to have 2 free rounds on the NHS. The procedure itself is extremely unpleasant & invasive for the girls and the tension is very difficult to cope with for all concerned, especially as we live at a distance. I definitely advise waiting to be told what's happening rather than asking questions - DD clammed up completely & all.our information came via SIL. Unfortunately, the first round didn't work and, although the 2nd attempt looked good, it too failed. DD decided the disappointment was too much to bear and they decided against having another try, which would have been self funded.

Fflaurie Sun 10-Feb-19 10:31:26

OK, I am going to stick my head above the parapet here. I understand, really, the yearning for a child. BUT, there is always a clinic, a doctor or an 'expert' who can offer a cure or help.. for a very expensive price. The strain of having sex to order along with the cost of treatment, appointments, and tests is a marriage breaker. It bankrupts couples and their families who may want to help. There comes a time when the word NO, has to be spoken. NO it is not going to happen. There is not enough help in this country for people who want, but cannot have a child. Spend some money on a counsellor to learn to live with this cruel fate, and then live your lives with what you have got, not, with what you cannot have. Children are not commodities, it is not our right to have them, and sometimes, we can't have everything that we want. I am sorry if this offends anyone. I believe so strongly that we need to support childless people to come to terms with their childlessness and stop chasing rainbows

JS06 Sun 10-Feb-19 10:36:05

My own son, now 21, is an IVF baby, we were at the Park Hospital in Nottingham and also had some health authority funded cycles of treatment at Bourn Hall in Cambs. I had 6 cycles of treatment in all, the last was a frozen embryo transfer which resulted in the pregnancy with my son. Within the year I was pregnant naturally!! All strange but a very good buy one get one free offer! Since the time I had treatment there has been an increase in the extras available. I remember reading recently about a practitioner who was offering treatment without the add ons, acknowledging that the costs can be prohibitive. I've researched - she is Geeta Nargund and I found this about her practice www.createfertility.co.uk
All the very best to your daughter, its a minefield but she knows that. From my perspective I wanted to keep all the information private, not from family necessarily but certainly from the well meaning colleagues who wouldn't have been able to stop themselves always asking for updates. That created a certain tension certainly. When I did reveal the pregnancy there was much interest when someone asked 'did you mean to wait til you were 35 before you tried for a baby?' Grrrr! I wish you all well.

maxdecatt Sun 10-Feb-19 10:37:55

Clover 1223.
Our neighbour could not conceive. The medics could not explain it as both seemed healthy. They moved to Germany for work puposes. Four months later she saw a German doctor and asked about the problem. He examined her and said he did not know what she was complaiung about as she was three months pregnant. Full term and a lovely boy. Speculation was that it had somethig to do with German sausages.

jusnoneed Sun 10-Feb-19 10:41:41

As reported in Daily Mail last week a couple from our town had a a baby after they were turned down by NHS (because he already had children) and she saw details of a Harley St clinic which said it was the cheapest in the country. Obviously she was dubious but they looked into it and successful treatment followed. By streamlining (no add on's, lower dose drugs if appropriate etc) £2,500 was the cost. They say that's about half the average. Their daughter was the first of 13 "budget IVF" babies so far.
I'm not sure if I can put the link to their story on here or name the clinic.

Nandalot Sun 10-Feb-19 10:42:45

My daughter had successful IVF. The money part seemed quite simple. She paid for three rounds of IVF up front. I do remember that after the removal of the eggs she was asked whether she wanted to pay extra for iCSI ( where the sperm is injected directly into the eggs) as the sperm and eggs were not the best grade. She did this. She can’t remember but thinks it was probably a couple of hundred compared to the thousands for the procedure. I would factor in that cost. The clinic was in London.

Nandalot Sun 10-Feb-19 10:47:17

Here is an add on! Daughter is here giving more information. The three rounds was an offer 3 for 2. She self sourced her drugs looking round for the cheapest.. (Reputable suppliers eg. Boots, Tesco, Coop etc ). She recommends the website Fertility Friends if they have not found it already. It was a clinic in Harley Street.

Nanny123 Sun 10-Feb-19 10:48:17

My daughter when through IVF about 4 years ago after many years of trying unsuccessfully to fall naturally. She was having very irregular periods and started seeing a acupuncturist for this who actually helped bring monthly periods but still no pregnancy. Until she started the treatment I never realised what was involved and how many “stages” there were. The treatment is pretty hard, many appointments and injections, and the getting through each stage in the treatment. It was hard, but the hope of a pregnancy at the end kept them and us all going. As a mum I worried for her, the treatment was rough, i worried in case it didnt happen and worried for the disappointment it would cause. She got through to the final stages and the egg was planted - we were all ecstatic until a week later she started to bleed. Devastation as she went for a scan which confirmed she wasnt pregnant.

At the clinic she was at they had to wait 3 months before they could start again. To here that seemed ages away so they decided to go away for a few days to try and get some normally back into their life.

A month after the treatment she was worried that she hadn’t had a period which she had to have before any more treatment could take place, so she went back to her acupuncturist went to work on her but stopped saying that she felt that she could be pregnant. She didnt want to carry on treatment because this would be to bring on a period. She sent her home suggesting she took a pregnancy test and if this was negative to return in 2 weeks.

She took the pregnancy text and it was positive!!!

She now has a beautiful 3 year old boy, and a georgous 8 month old boy.

trendygran Sun 10-Feb-19 11:21:06

My friends daughter has a lovely 2 year old daughter after IVF treatment on the NHS. She recently had their last frozen embryo implanted but sadly miscarried shortly after. Any more treatment will have to be paid for as her authority just offers two free rounds. That is one more round than offered from the authority where I live.

cassandra264 Sun 10-Feb-19 11:24:00

My daughter and her husband had a bad experience with an NHS fertility clinic in London close to where they lived and worked. Not the medical side of it, but the poor quality of support staff, who mixed up appointment times, failed to send off blood samples etc. all adding to their stress. The whole extended family then chipped in so that they could afford to go to the clinic in Harley Street which had at that time the highest success rate ( 60%).The staff were 100% efficient, discovered the cause of the problem, which the NHS had not, and could not have been kinder and more supportive. As a result, we now have a lovely,healthy 6 year old GC.

The new family moved to Southampton soon afterwards for work reasons. They/we could not afford to go private again in order to try for a second child, and the NHS IVF treatment they had there was unsuccessful (fewer viable eggs three years on did not help, though this not the only problem). They have decided to make the most of what they have and come to terms with this, rather than desperately keep trying for a larger family with ever decreasing chances of success. I have no other grandchildren or expectation of same, and we are all so very grateful for this child's existence.

I do think your comments are a little harsh, Fflaurie. We are, I know, very lucky in Britain to have had this option at all. But, presumably you would not be on Gransnet if you or someone close to you did not have a grandchild ??

Luckygirl Sun 10-Feb-19 11:37:54

Fflaurie - a great deal of NHS funded health care is based on trying to help someone lead a normal life - e.g. hip replacement so that you can get to the shops. There is not always a life-saving element to treatment.

So......where would you draw the line between an unnecessary treatment that you just have to do without and get on with it, and a necessary treament.

Within my wider family there are adopted children and a couple who cannot have children who decided to give up on IVF and come to terms with their infertility. One of my DDs struggled hugely to get pregnant and IVF would have been the next step if it had not happened naturally.

I do not presume to judge those who go down the IVF route. The imperative to reproduce is hard-wired and atavistic and the thwarting of that is not to be dismissed lightly. You say you understand the "yearning for a child" but I do not think you do.

I am lucky to have had 3 wonderful children who have gone on to produce 7 lovely grandchildren and I would not judge others who have not been so lucky for taking any steps that they wish to.

vickymeldrew Sun 10-Feb-19 11:43:06

IVF is such a wonderful thing - but, of course, only when it’s successful. My son and daughter-in-law have been trying it for years and have, so far, had TEN failed attempts/miscarriages.
The devastation after each failed cycle is terrible. However, all the other therapies - acupuncturist, massage, reflexology etc - is what really upsets me as, to my mind, it is making money from others misery and raising false hopes.

GranJan60 Sun 10-Feb-19 12:01:19

Used to work with all the UK clinics. Agree that HFEA website is very useful - also Fertility Friends patient group. Bear in mind London clinics very pricey and sometimes impersonal. Think twice about going abroad for treatment-may be cheaper but several disadvantages especially if multiple embryos put back. Often “unexplained infertility” has been down to stress and not enough sex!

Bluecat Sun 10-Feb-19 12:14:14

Have they considered clinics abroad? My daughter had IVF treatment in the Czech Republic which was much more affordable than in the UK. As a result, we have two lovely grandchildren.

I went with them and I was very impressed by how clean and modern the clinic was. Daughter and partner said the doctor was excellent.

Hollydoilly10 Sun 10-Feb-19 12:14:55

Homeopathy offers real solutions to fertility problems. There are a few homeopaths who specialise in this. It is non toxic and better for you and any baby
IVF. can and does lead to breast cancer and children who are not quite right very often

Bluecat Sun 10-Feb-19 12:16:19

Didn’t see previous message! In both cases, only 2 embryos put back.

GrammaH Sun 10-Feb-19 13:06:53

Sorry Fflaurie - whilst I respect your right to have an opinion, I do find your comments rather harsh. I'm assuming that, like me, you were lucky enough to want a child and then to have one, simple as that. I don't know whether you have ever known anyone who has been so desperate to have a baby that they have put themselves through all the upheavals & unpleasantness that IVF entails, only for it to fail. How can you say that some one should just live with that & get over being childless? Do you really think it's that simple? As a mother of a childless daughter who will probably never come to terms with it & whose failed IVF treatments have led to the break up of her marriage, I find your blasè comments rather offensive.

kwest Sun 10-Feb-19 13:52:37

An unbelievably tense process and the longest nine months ever but so so worthwhile. My daughter and son in law's twins ( boy and girl) will be 12 years old in April. There are no words to explain how much they are loved.

ElaineI Sun 10-Feb-19 14:42:00

Two of my grandchildren were conceived by IVF. DGD was from a frozen embryo which technically means she was conceived at the same time as her big brother! Both pregnancies were difficult with bleeding in the first trimester, preterm (31 weeks) birth first time - healthy but small baby, and cervical suture in second which ended up with DD having sepsis but baby was fine. First cycle was NHS, frozen self funded but needed less pre treatment. I think couples get 2 NHS cycles in Scotland. Fertility Friends site was the greatest source of help and support to DD and she still meets up with friends she made on the site. Like here, if you ask a question about anything usually someone has been through the same and can offer advice or suggestions. Good luck to your family.