Black dog gang

Afternoon, Anniebach and everyone. Social worker came yesterday and I may get 2 hours help a week. Feeling sleepy so housebound and a bit stressed as have run out of heart tablet and some other stuff as they are taking 4 days to deliver it. Heart rate 119!

I had better not fall asleep of I will miss the pharmacy guy.

Would appreciate some counselling, your therapy via FaceTime sounds interesting Annie.

I hope your granddaughter is mobile very soon.

Wishing comfortableness on everyone.

Hope your meds arrive soon Sparkly. Good news about the Social Worker, could he or she investigate counselling or do you have to go through your GP? I think there is a very long waiting list here unless you go privately.

Good evening everyone, how are you all doing? I'm not great today, have really struggled at work and am now home alone with the weekend stretching ahead of me. I feel so alone but don't want to see anyone. But I am going to church on Sunday at least I'm almost paralysed with anxiety, convinced that a couple of minor health symptoms are heralders of serious illness and so terrified I can hardly breathe.

I feel so ashamed of the way I feel and that I'm letting my lovely daughter down (she's away at uni). Sorry for making this all about me but at the moment I don't know how to climb out of this pit.

Aww Maggie wish I had so words of comfort for you but sorry I can only say I am the same again today.. what is it that’s troubling would you like to share your worries Maggie..

Hello all x

Sparkle hope your medication arrive safely. And hope you get the 2 hours help.

Do speak to you GP about counselling, I am having private therapy and the therapist agreed to the use of FaceTime because I can yet leave the bungalow. Speak to the social worker too.

Why do we feel ashamed of something we have no control over, we really do need to stop feeling like it. There is no shame in it Maggie

Maggie, why do you think you are letting your daughter down ?

I so hope you will feel comfortable when you attend Church on Sunday, morning or evening ?

Please, please stop feeling shame, you have nothing to be ashamed of.

You will get out of the pit, it’s finding the first step of the ladder then you will climb x

Hi Joce , sorry today hasn’t been a good day . Please don’t feel ashamed of being ill, and mental like physical problems is an illness , but it can be overcome, the fight back seems so hard doesn’t it ?

Hi Maggie
I am always researching how to get out of this anxiety quagmire. One thing l came across was to use your logical side of your brain as opposed to your emotional side of your brain. The logical side is a better ally to you and me and anyone with anxiety.

My problem is anticipatory anxiety. It means l dread alot of things and events in the future especially around my in-laws where there is a large amount of family dysfunction. Not a good one similar to the health anxiety you have.
I dearly hope to someday grow out of it. At least we can talk about it here with people who understand as opposed to bottling it up which will only make it worse.
Very best from Dawn

Annie you are a ⭐️ You always seem to have the right words.. you are always hear for us all, I will get past this,I have to. So will Maggie Thank you Annie for being there last night just knowing you were there help me.. x

Just wanted to ask has anyone else had experience of anticipatory anxiety or is it just particular to me. I think it is usual where there is family dysfunction and that is common enough.
Very best. Dawn

Sorry Dawn not heard of this one new to me .

May I share my week of ‘rethinking ‘ ?

I have gone on and on about Fred and had so much encouragement from GN. Recently I have been able to go out into the back garden, it kicked off my love of gardening. I made plans for the garden , then thinking about it , I would still be isolated, my only regular visitor is my younger granddaughter and the Tesco deliver man ?.

I have lived in this Cul de sac for two years, don’t know anyone,. On my list for ‘want to do’ was join the poetry group and the quiz night both held in the local pub, found out I can’t park Fred anywhere so can’t go until I am brave enough to go by taxi.

So, I am parking Fred in the back garden and starting a garden at the front on the bungalow, (Fred takes up all the space at the front ). My hope is I will less anxious the more I go out the front on the dreaded front path, I will have a garden bench and neighbours passing down the road will stop for a minute to chat, if they do I will at last get to meet my neighbours. I haven’t given up on Fred, but I think meeting some neighbours will help my phobias more than riding Fred to the garage for a newspaper, that will come later. So change of plans for recovery.

My thought ‘ if you keep doing what your doing you keep getting what you get’.

Dawn yes, every day for ten years , it Gnaws snd gnaws doesnt it x

Annie what a brilliant idea.. my father in law used to do that he would sit on his bench for hours, he loved talking to his neighbors. He would do a bit of weeding in between talking haha, now and again he would put his cap down and nod so mum wouldn’t see him, is words were he was just resting his eyes. Amazing how they opened when someone walked past, he never missed any one.. fantastic idea Annie ..

Thank you so much for your support everyone. Joce, I'm sorry you're having a bad day, how kind of you to ask what's troubling me. I've had a particular type of skin cancer which has been treated and is hardly ever serious but me being me, I've found research that links it with a higher risk of other cancers. So it's that anticipatory anxiety you speak of Dawn, fearing that something awful is going to happen. Just writing it down helps though, it helps me see my fear for what it is.

Annie, I like your line of thought! I can see you on that garden bench getting to know people. Dawn, I will try very hard to get the logical side of my brain functioning properly! And you're right about not bottling things up and I feel calmer having read your lovely posts and feeling the mutually support. We are all suffering in our own ways but the positivity shines through.

Sadly yes Annie
But l am trying to not let it take me over. In the run up to an event l am full of nervous anxiety. Then l am ok and then it starts all over again.
Dawn x

Maggie that is one thing I have stoped doing research, it got to be a no for me because I would go mad.. I use to be researching no stop made me so Ill, DONT DO IT I know it’s hard not to but please don’t Maggie ..
Listen to your doctor he know. ? big hug Maggie ?..

Maggie you may be reaching for that first rung x

You have spoken of your fear. You are going to Church to join a community, be proud please.

Thank you for your comments on my new garden x

Joce thank you , it took a lot of rethinking but it does seem the logical thing to do in the hope it will ease the isolation snd help me overcome my phobias x

I am sure it will Annie, most defiantly sort some of the isolation and hopefully your phobia. ?
Wishing you all a peaceful nights sleep and pray for a good day for us all tomorrow... good night all ?

Annie, God bless you. Joce, I will try and stop researching for that way madness lies. Thank you so much for your support.

I'm imagining you on that bench Annie Sleep well everyone x

Maggie I am pleased to hear you are going to church, hope it helps. If anyone says 'pray about it' walk away, they clearly haven't a clue. If anyone says they will pray about it be thankful. I wish I could make it to church, keep saying I will but then too many memories of happier times.

I do understand how you feel about your daughter because I feel I'm letting everyone down but of course I know we are not.

Annie glad your rethinking is working and hope it will work for others too.

Dawn I suspect your anxiety is the same as those of us who catastrophise. We look for a problem where there probably isn't. I am an over thinker which may be the cause of some of my issues.

I have worked hard at applying logic and positive thinking, that is in my nature but it doesn't work. I know I have a good life and a wonderful family so why can't I sleep and why do I feel like this. There is one bad think in my life, in addition to the death of my son, the rest if pretty good. Years ago my consultant told me I wouldn't feel any better if I won the lottery.

I can still laugh at myself today. In the last 24 hours the TV has refused to accept a signal, the bathroom scales have ceased to function and when I tried to open the blind in my study this morning the cord broke. Minor, unimportant first world problems.

No idea if it’s working or will work nonnie haven’t started yet.

Go for it Annie nothing ventured ......