Black dog gang

nonnie forgive me, I cannot agree with your advice to Maggie advising to ‘walk away’ if someone says ‘pray about it they clearly haven’t a clue’, it could be said by someone who does have a clue and may have been through the the same or are going through the same and saying *pray about it’ could have helped them. Walking away would be shutting a door.

A church community is a group of people who will have different ways of sharing, in my experience

Annie I think perhaps I didn't express myself very well. My experience is that those who care will offer to pray with or for you, those who want to dismiss your problem tell you to pray about it rather than offering to pray for you. It is very easy to tell someone who obviously knows about prayer to go and pray about it, could even be considered patronising. It might be different if it wasn't said in a church.

Best we leave it to maggie , a person could say ‘pray about it ‘ and pray too .

Nonnie, it's good you can laugh at yourself. I'm glad you have a loving family. As for applying logic and rational thinking.....it's very hard when your brain is wired a certain way! How are you today Annie, Joce and Dawn and anyone else here?

This morning I decided it might help if I went to Confession for the first time in many decades (I was brought up RC). When I arrived at the church it was closed for a private service and I felt a bit thwarted. But instead I decided to drop in on my local cathedral (St Albans) for an attempt at quiet prayer. There was a Russian Orthodox service taking place - absolutely stunning singing and ritual. A lovely young boy in the congregation started talking to me and explaining what it was all about. Such an unlooked-for thing to happen! I felt blessed to have stumbled upon it. Such is life....

That's nice Maggie hope your weekend continues well. Everyone else too of course.

maggie let’s think about this ?, the first church you went to was closed for a private service, you didn’t give up, walk away and go home, you went to the Cathedral enjoyed the service and was shown care by a young boy . Yes, such is life x

I am Anglican and go to confession, it helps me.

Thank you Annie, you're spot on! It would have been nice to have got in the first church but I can try again. On the other hand, my meeting with that delightful Russian boy was a one-off!

Have you been able to take a step or two outside today Annie?

Maggie ‘yes I can try again ‘, you said it, hold onto it x

Just had a horrible experience of my castrophising. I get local updates on my phone and saw that the main road which leads to our house was blocked due to an accident. I knew DS and DiL were coming for dinner this evening and immediately panicked. They are fine and haven't left their house yet but I am wrecked. Still shaking. I had heard a bang a while back and checked that DH was OK but if I'd looked out the window I would have seen that the police have cordoned off a white van and DH said he saw an ambulance. I cannot see a way of this stopping. I had no idea DS was going to die, won't ever know the cause so now I panic at just the thought that I may not see one of them again. It is just so horrible. Sorry to let off steam.

Difficult to accept yet nonnie but it takes time, I do understand having experienced the shock of both my husband and daughter’s deaths. Your fears are a normal reaction.

Nonnie I'm a champion at catastrophising, in your case very sadly it has actually happened, so it's no surprise you react the way you do. My adult children and grandchildren live abroad and the first thing I do I check the local papers on line, also the weather forecast for bad weather, hot weather, gales etc. Also now the grandchildren drive too so double the worry! Will it ever stop? I don't think so.

Nonnie, it's so hard and catasrophising becomes a habit. You of course have experienced something tragic (as has Annie) so have more reason to catasrophise than the likes me. I don't want to pry and maybe you've shared this already but do tell us more about your son if you'd like.

hello all, bad day here, I am struggling to see the point of me today..i do nothing, i have nothing, i am nothing.

A Typical day for me when i,m not working..a lie in..i walk my dogs, i kiss my cat, i clean my house, i walk my dogs, i cook some kind of food. in between this i eat, and eat, and eat.

I have terrible anxiety so i dont mix with people ( infact i dont really like people) i have shocking arthritis so i walk with a lot of pain and difficulty. It also means that one of my hands is pretty much useless (then the stick is in the "good" hand). what do i have to offer? what is the point of me?

aw that sounds a bit rubbish, please feel free to message me.

nanny may I ask ? Did you see your GP after Easter ?

Evening all.. Maggie I wish someone would pull my plug our, my head is all over.

Bad day Joce ?

Maggie. I hope you will find rest in Church tomorrow? X

anniebach no i didnt. i keep meaning to .... then another day is over and I havent. i am not crying all day anymore its just a few times a week now. however i am still at the point where i kinda dont care still....if someone murdered me i,d be quite happy cos it saves me doing it myself..but..then i dont want to do it myself cos if i failed i,d have to live with upsetting everyone and i really couldnt deal with that.

nanny if you succeeded you will leave loved one’s to live with much pain, you say you don’t like people , have you been badly hurt ?

Do see your GP please x

sexually abused as a child anniebach..ergo constant feelings of being unworthy of life. I tell myself things like...dont laugh you are ugly when you laugh and when you laugh everyone else will see how ugly you are... or... why live when nobody wants you too. you are not entitled or worthy enough to live....or...why live you are a nothing a nobody. nobody cares.....sad facts but true.

i constantly keep people at arms length. Iv been married for 30 years the man deserves a knighthood!

Nannie, you are a good woman who works, cherishes her pets, looks after her home and tries her best. You are most definitely something. Dear Joce, tell us what's been going through your mind today.

Thank you Annie, I think that church will offer me some respite and hope that it will spill over into the rest of Sunday. My fears have come and gone and come back again throughout the day. But I am beginning to recognise them as thoughts, even though the feelings that ensue can be so distressing. I have OCD too but tonight managed to only check the backdoor 4 times! Onwards and upwards.

this is a good thread. You guys dont know me so i can tell you all how i feel. everyday i smile and carry on while inside i,m slowly giving up but getting it out there helps x. so thanks all of you x

thanks maggie x thoughts are slippery suckers maggie, they fool us. but if we know that we can fool them xx

nanny your husband loves you. We don’t know you but we care about you, we will always listen x