Hypochondriac friend.

We had an aunt who had been at death's door for the last 50 years.
The saying in our family when we thought someone was making a fuss about being ill, was that they were doing an aunt Lil.

I spoke to my friend this evening.
She was feeling slightly better today and hopes for even more improvement tomorrow.
She had even been out for lunch.
She is going to France next weekend so that was exactly what I had expected.

How brave of her, considering all she's been through.

I have a friend and also a family member with this affliction.
What makes me angry is that they take up NHS resources. The friend has had numerous MRI and CT scans. She will also visit her GP up to 3 times a week.

minniemoo thank you for your kind words.

I too hve a friend like this, always something wrong, always serious. Loves being in hospital, i suspect for the attention. She is so anorexic that her new hip keeps popping out!

We have at least one lady in our elders group like this and it is fatal to ask her how she is because the enxt 45 mins are taken up telling you, in great detail. She's a very active 80.
.
Not so long since, she took me aside and told me she thought she had bowel cancer. Despite the fact she seems to visit her doctor every week for something or other, I advised her to go see him asap.

But as we talked, is seemed the only symptom was a 'gypy tummy' so I felt less concerned.

And then, after a long silence she said, 'Mind you, my son made a very spicy curry for us last night.'

MissAdventure that expression 'at death's door' reminds me of a rather macabre joke my mother used when saying her name backwards (long story )

'Is your wife at the Gates of Death? Take Yeldar, it will pull her through.'

My husband always has to go one better than me with ailments. Even when I broke my wrist his shoulder 'strain' was much more painful and debilitating.
I don't talk about my health issues any more as he always belittles them.

Sitting, reading this, with my left leg elevated - severely sprained ankle and broken bone - I had to smile.
My sister rang yesterday, all concern, and asked me how I was. I said, "in agony". Then had to sit and listen to her list of ailments, some serious, and of her recent visits to the hospital, physio and her doctor. 20 minutes later I managed to escape.
We love her, know what to expect and let her ramble.

Value the friendship, ignore the quirks.

Might I just add that when I saw the GP who was propped up with pillows, promptly told me that " there's nothing wrong with you " !.
It turned out that there was a heart problem and failing kidneys . All because I'd told her I was missing a heartbeat !
No wonder I don't go to the GP's very often, it's made me feel like a nuisance as her words stuck with me so I now question myself, do I need to go ? I always think twice.

My mother was always at death’s door too. She nearly died having my sister and was unable to work for the rest of her life. She had abdominal pains and my father, in despair after 40 years of health complaints from her, sent her to the private hospital for tests. She was diagnosed with diverticulitis. A week later she dropped dead at 68. PM said three blocked arteries in her heart and kidney disease. There was no diverticulitis. I could hear her in my mind saying: I told you I was ill!

I have a friend like this, I usually ignore it but find it a bit irritating at times. Lots of hospital appointments, but she never wants a lift . The problem with lying is that you need a good memory, and hers is not. With my friend it is, without doubt, attention seeking which is very sad. She lies about a lot of things but we are all aware of this.

I have a sister that seems to think illness is a competitive sport.

That is so awful Monica. It is so easy to assume things and get it very wrong. I know, I've done it myself, but seriously try not to now having been wrong so many times. But for doctors to do it is unforgivable when people put their lives and trust in them. Yes there are people who cry wolf, but no one knows their body like the person living in it, so all tests should be done before deciding if there is a true problem.

Have had 2 friends wrongly diagnosed by GPS so not a lot of faith in them tbh The first was given antidepressants for chest pains and told it was stress due to his father dying 4 months previously. A few months after he collapsed in the street and had major heart surgery. He survived. The second had a very bad cough for 6months and was repeatedly told by the GP it was a virus. As she deteriorated her daughter took her to A&E. They X-rayed and gave her 6mths to live as inoperable lung cancer. She died 4mths later. People are frightened by stories like this (and most people know someone who this has happened to) so are off to the doctor at the first twinge.

She should meet my husband - they have a lot in common

It's attention seeking and very boring for those on the receiving end. I met a woman at a funeral recently and all she talked about was her mental health. Nothing asked about me, no curiosity at all. All I could do was nod!

I used to go to the GP all the time until I found out what I thought was the problem from the Internet. I begged the GP who thought I was mentally ill to send me to see a rheumatoidologist , he agreed on the understanding that they probably would not want to see me. I the consultant told me the GP had written a very insulting letter about me and that I did in fact have Hughes syndrome, which later on turned into scleroderma and now the added bonus of pulmonary arterial hypertension. I now have a heart monitor implanted. I still get sick with different things, and the GPs still do not listen.

17th century Nun’s prayer...

Lord, Thou knowest better than I know myself that I am growing older and someday will be old. Keep me from the fatal habit of thinking that I must say something on every subject and on every occasion. Release me from the craving to straighten out everybody’s affairs. Make me thoughtful but not moody; helpful but not bossy. With my vast store of wisdom, it seems a pity not to use it all but thou knowest, Lord, that I want a few friends at the end. Keep my mind free from then recital of endless details; give me wings to get to the point.

Seal my lips on my aches and pains. They are increasing and love of rehearsing them is becoming sweeter as the years go by. I dare not ask for grace enough to enjoy the tales of other’s pains, but help me to endure them with patience.

I dare not ask for improved memory but for a growing humility and lessening cock sureness when my memory seems to clash with the memories of others. Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally I may be mistaken. Keep me reasonably sweet; I do not want to be a saint; some of them are so hard to live with. But a sour old person is one of the crowning works of the devil. Give me the ability to see the good things in unexpected places and talents in unexpected people. And, give me, O Lord, the grace to tell them so.

Amen

My Mother wanted it read out at her funeral, which I did.
Reckon it covers the bases...

I know I'm a hypochondriac but I'm certain it's caused by a brain tumour............

The problem is that certain aspects of health and disability are not visible. If you looked at me when I said I had 20 years of chronic disabling back pain you might think ‘Lose some weight and move around’. What you would not see is that I have an auto-immune condition attacking my liver for which I need steroids. The steroids create fat deposits around my face, neck and body. A combination of the drugs and condition cause debilitating fatigue. If I don’t take the steroids I will die. Most people with long term conditions develop coping strategies to minimise the impact on daily life which create an impression of ‘normality’.

Your friend may suffer from depression and attempt to hide it when she is with you. So I would urge you not judge her too harshly based on the way she appears to you.

My ex was a champion hypochondriac. If a disease of any kind was mentioned in the press or broadcast media, he definitely had it, including TB, gallstones, appendicitis, and almost anything that could possibly prove fatal. I understand that, 40 years later, he still has his gall bladder and appendix and nothing fatal has happened...yet.
I, on the other hand....

shysal. grin

I family member told us in hushed tones that her father in law had inoperable lung cancer. That was about 6 years ago. He appears to still be living life to the full. I don't have any experience of lung cancer but it sounds rather unlikely to me. What do others think?