Anxiety and stress

Well, anxiety is just a label. It covers so much and if you want a quick fix, then take the pills. It doesn’t sound as if you do though and as you used to do lots of yoga, maybe you can look at things a bit more holistically. The long and short of ‘anxiety’ is that the nervous system needs to rebalance. You can encourage that by being kind to yourself, having enough rest and relaxation, (and doing all those ‘little’ things that you like),do some body work like tai chi, or gentle walking, take up regular meditation, get lots of sleep, spend time in nature, consciously be aware of what stresses you, and change events, or your life accordingly. Gradually, if you really take all of this on board and make some changes, you can alter the way you respond to stress and the anxiety will lessen.. CBT and pills are ok in the shorter term but to get a lasting result, you will need to look elsewhere. It sound daunting but actually it amounts to being gentle on yourself really. Have a look online as there are lots of helpful resources. Good luck!

You are not silly - stress and anxiety is crippling and none of us ask to have it arrive in our lives. I feel for you very much; getting anxious spoils a lot of events in life and builds if there is something coming up that you feel you can't cope with, and I'm sure many on here know that feeling well.
Yes, do be kind to yourelf as has been suggested, and I think your friend was not the most considerate of people as she must know how things are with you at times. They should have shown some sense in getting to the show unless there was a dire emergency that held them up. Good luck with whatever you try - there is a lot out there to help. xx

I agree with all you say. Just to explain a couple of things - there wasn’t any disabled parking, it was horrendous, people were double parked, walking from miles away etc and I was offered this perfect space as the lovely people were just going. I was thinking ahead (my problem) and trying to help. It’s hard to explain but it really worked me up totally.

When we went for this procedure, again, stressful parking, other end of miles of hospital corridors, wait over an hour because someone had collapsed, got in there very nervous about what they were going to do and - he says I can see you’re a very anxious person! I’d only been in there two minutes, anyone would have been anxious in those circumstances surely?

I’m going to try and think about myself but I’ve got a husband who listens to my phone calls tutting if I express any kind of wish to do what I want and not run about after any and everybody! He only does what he wants in any circumstances but I’m not allowed the same privilege.

I love your replies, you express yourselves so well and seem to understand, thank you.

Try this binaural beats you tube - lie down, headphones in, 15 - 20 minutes - if your mind wanders repeat something in positive in your head (like 'I am so calm'). I find in brings back some control. www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFGsZ6ythQQ

Yes I have the answer you know it yourself..... sod everybody and look after you! At the mo ent you are the most important person to look after. Make that appointment with your doctor.

Luckylegs, just reading your comment above. Speaking from (painful) personal experience, not doing what you want sometimes and paying scant attention to its personal cost (obviously not all the time) can lead to such anxiety and stress. I’ve been there and done that....trying to please other people over a long period of time...which led for me, eventually, to severe anxiety, panic attacks, and a lot else physically. There comes a time, I’ve had to learn, when we have to consider our own health...its a journey...and one that we can start gently and build on as time goes on. I’m a holistic therapist so I really should know better but none of us is immune! Your husband, if he cares about you-and no doubt he does-will appreciate where you’re coming from if you explain a little to him, I’m sure. I know its not easy-but it is possible.

I know how you feel, and how difficult it is to put ourselves first. It's sometimes a case of we're 'happy' if everyone else is, and that becomes a habit. I have had life changing events in the last three years, and my stress has been so great, that there is little joy in life, though I go through the motions. I can't even plan my day without doubts and anxiety. I'm supposed to be going away for a few days soon, for the first time in four years, and I don't know how I'm going to cope with leaving the house for more than a day! I have dependants, so I get anxious about the need to stay well for them, knowing that stress is bad for our physical health. It's a vicious circle. I wish you well, and encourage you to do as others say - think of yourself.

WOW - have you got a hobby - knitting etc. Something you could occupy your hands with thereby taking away the anxious thoughts from your mind. Breathing as well. There is also Yoga Nidra (this is not body exercise but mind exercise) You can find examples on UTube - beginners - it will change you life!

Firstly, never speak ill of yourself, your brain believes what you say. Repeat after me " I can do this". It works honestly.
I have had anxiety issues and sometimes feel that it is rearing it's ugly head again, but you need to develop coping strategies and sometimes that means putting yourself first.
Take care xx

Luckylegs.
Have you not considered the alternative none addictive treatment route concerning your anxiety?Before self medicating, and there is much available, obtain help from the proffesionals.As for your friends, who I believe show little if any thing for your feelings, how long would it have taken them, hip replacement or no hip replacement and given the fifteen mile distance, to phone and say 'Just leaving, should be with you in x time but if held up we will phone you . To easy ! well that's their problem so think about it and should there be a next time ? let them find their own space.

I don’t do waiting very well . If I have to wait my stress levels go right up.I can wait in a queue but if I arrange to meet someone I am always on time and I hate tardiness .I have just written down events in my childhood that made me what I am today a very anxious person although I try to hide it well . We should learn to watch out for ourselves luckylegs and let everyone else do the same . We are too good for our own good . Next time you are meeting them be late and let them do the wondering .

I wouldn't dismiss the advice of a GP who has prescribed medication.

Lucky Legs.
My GP put me on Sertraline and it has definitely helped. But it does take a while it’s not magic! Think I had a few vague side effects but difficult to tell if they were side effects or just me imagining things. I’m like you worry all the time and my brain goes round and round all the time thinking about everything- in fact overthinking! Do try the pills - it might not sound like it but they have certainly made my life a lot calmer. Good luck

While waiting you could also try a therapeutic massage with body oils. Your neck ache, headaches, dizziness etc is probably due to tension and massage of any sort will help, if you can afford it ( about (£30).

Also listen to any sort if music you like, through ear phones,. An article. in the paper said walking through trees or by the sea is as good as or better than meditation. Do you have a dog?
Also try some exercises to music watching a U tube video.
I’m another one like you, very anxious and am particularly bad at being a car passenger - it ruins my social life as I don’t like driving either!

Thinking about my childhood, it was an anxious time as I was the youngest to quite an elderly mother who was often ill and used to tell me often she could die at any time. She was kept going on prednisolone/antibiotics and it always seemed to be just saved in the nick of time. Eventually she developed dementia which took me all my time to manage her care. I’m not blaming my beloved mum but it definitely gave me a worried childhood which she wouldn’t have deliberately caused for the world if she’d realised. I don’t know if that is what to blame but other than that, I don’t remember any trauma.

Anyhow, I am where I am. I’ve got the tablets and I’m planning to take one tonight. Not sure when they should be taken but I’ll try it then.

Of course my friends should have phoned the house even though I’d already left. My h would have let me know. They were probably embarrassed that they hadn’t left by then but it would have been kinder. She hasn’t even rung me since!

I feel so sorry for Grannybuy, I haven’t reached the point where I’m frightened to leave the house. I do send my love and good wishes to her for some improvement.

I drove to my daughters this morning and I know I’m not fit to drive when I’m so dizzy as I am today. I am totally puzzled as I was fine last night and not dizzy at all. I am going to get some craft thing going or knitting or something to occupy myself. Again, thanks for your considered thoughts xx

Suffering like this is miserable, Luckylegs. As you don't like taking drugs - which I totally understand - and the CBT helped before, I wonder if your gp can refer you for another session? Anxiety is an illness just as much as other things and you are perfectly within your rights to ring the surgery and ask for an appointment, especially as you've had previous issues. Good luck.

Try some mindfulness, some meditation. Also, you should go to your GP and don't feel bad about saying you're suffering with anxiety. At that appointment you can discuss the options and you will probably be offered some psychotherapy on the NHS which will help you learn more about yourself and why you get worked up over small issues. You can conquer this.

Hello Lucky Legs,

I hope you will soon feel better.
I am currently full of a cold I cannot shake off. People pleasing and all that. Am with the inlaws and although the temperature is 14c with a cold breeze they refuse to switch on the heating and open all the windows. I am surprised they don't have pneumonia.
Just wanted to say that I studied psychiatry but gave up half way due to pressure from family members!! I agree with GingerGirl and Saggi. Great advice. I had CBT recently but found it a bit daft personally. I was being taught by a junior psychiatrist who hadn't passed an exam yet. I asked her as she looked about 20. Very nice girl. I suffer from mild anxiety doctors decided. I find keeping busy best solution but not easy for people reluctant to leave home or catch a train. I saw a psychotherapist for two years, private. Not much of that available on the NHS unfortunately, but all most of us need is to talk to a sympathetic medic who has the time.

Best of luck.

You are trying too hard to fix the world. Anxiety can be so wearing and eventually takes over your life. You do need to see a GP whether for medication or further CBT. I feel CBT does work but you have to be in the right frame of mind to apply all the processes and you don't seem to be there. You seem a lovely caring person, but you can't do everything for everyone and, they wouldn't expect you to. Do hope you find the right solution to help you cope. Take care.

Lucky feel free to DM if you want to chat, thanks

I get wound up and anxious about other people who don’t stress themselves about me! It’s how we’re made. I often have a tight chest or migraine and I’m sure it’s stress. I take herbal medicine which seems to help. Deep breathing helps and apparently a long out breath is important.

After my panic attack at the hospital last week the doctor told me to calm down and that she hadn't found anything sinister. I was reading later and the question came up,were you in danger?I reacted to a danger that wasn't real.I will try to think this next time.

I too suffer from anxiety plus had a bout of depression. My son strongly advised me not to take antidepressants but to take the herbal route: valarian - which I did. Website Headspace is good for meditation which I also found helped. Put all these things together, giving yourself a good talking to when anxious I found worked for me.

Hi Luckylegs, read your original message but haven’t read all the replies so may be repeating something here. Just wanted to say how much I sympathise with you as I have suffered with anxiety for most of my life. I have as a result lots of tummy issues. I’m never really sure if my anxiety make my tummy hurt or if it’s the other way round! It’s my tummy misbehaving that’s making me feel anxious. I feel I’ve missed out a lot in life because of my anxiety. Just one thing I’d like to add and that’s recently I had an NHS health check and discovered that my thyroid was on the low side and as it went down a bit more I was put on thyroid medication. I can’t say it solved all my problems but after a few weeks I did feel a lot calmer and I realised how much it had affected my health. It’s just a thought but maybe if you haven’t had a health check recently it might be a good place to start. Good luck in getting yourself into a calmer place and remember your not alone there’s a lot of anxious people out there!

Hello LuckyLegs, I have also suffered with anxiety for years, tried to hide it, but it was a real struggle. I had anti-depressants years ago (Seroxat) they worked a little but not much.
I managed to hold down a stressful job and when I was at work most of the anxiety went as I was so busy, with retirement I no longer had that distraction.
People think they know what anxiety is, but many do not understand just how debilitating it can be.
When I was seeing my GP a short time ago for blood pressure I mentioned the anxiety & he suggested "talking therapy" rather than medication, I didn't hold out much hope but agreed to give it a go. I had a 45 minute phone consultation with a mental health practitioner within a couple of weeks, she suggested attending a Stress Control course. I agreed but doubted whether it would help as I had anxiety not stress. The course was 6 weeks for 2 hours a week, it was a group course with about 12 people and we were basically taught what stress is and how to control it, it was a classroom/lecture situation so no talking about your issues in front of strangers. I learned that stress consists of anxiety and depression so controlling stress will control your anxiety, we were taught techniques to control it, it isn't a quick fix you have to work at it, some of the techniques have been mentioned by other posters. I found this really helpful and my anxiety is improving.
I don't know where you live, I am in East Sussex & the course was run by a mental heath group called Health In Mind, I discovered later that you could self-refer on-line, no need to go to your GP. The courses start every 6 weeks so very short waiting time. I know there is a similar group in West Sussex. I wonder if there is anything similar in the area where you live? Could you get in touch with the local mental health team to see if there is?
I am sorry this is long. I send you my very best wishes, you will get better and life will be so much better.