I’ve been drinking too much all my adult life

Absolutely no judgment from on how much anyone is drinking just some advice please get you liver checked. Liver disease exhibits no symptoms until it is becomes decompensated and scarring will be permanent. Any amount of alcohol kills liver cells and if a person drinking does not allow the liver time to recover then damage could occur. Please be safe x

My mother died from cirrhosis of the liver when she was 58. Ten years younger than I am now. She didn’t start drinking til she was in her mid thirties. Lots of hard drinkers in her family.

Drinking is generally socially acceptable in the UK, even traditional, and health risks have been downplayed. Our bad health habits are just too lucrative for any government to stop being two-faced about them. Just look at all the lovely tax money that smoking and drinking bring in!

www.gov.uk/tax-on-shopping/alcohol-tobacco

I have a couple of glasses of wine around 5, enjoy it, and stop when I have had enough. I often leave a couple of inches in the bottle. I feel at 79 I have learned what is good for me and what isn't, and dont feel any guilt.

Two bottles of wine a week doesn't make you an alcoholic, Maggie. I'm not a fan of heavy drinking, but I have plenty of friends who are way older than you and drink more. Nonetheless, too much alcohol does increase your risk of developing certain illnesses, so it's always best to cut down if you can. I would say try not to stress about it too much stressing will just make you think about needing a drink to calm you down.
I think Daisymae had a good idea, suggesting you buy smaller bottles of wine. That would certainly be worth a try.
Good luck!

I don't know if you are on Facebook but there's a group on there called Club Soda which you can join. Many on there are trying to give up altogether but just as many are trying to moderate their intake. It's very supportive so do have a look if you get chance. And good luck.

Buy a bottle of expensive wine and you will appreciate the flavour more.

I have been diagnosed with Angioedema but link my symptoms to something in Red Wine possibly sulphate but it’s something to avoid if you are prone to allergies.

I got into the habit of drinking every night when supermarkets were doing three bottles for ten pounds. I was buying 3 every Friday and they'd gone by the following week. I was going to work feeling awful. I got to the point where I knew it had to stop. I can't have it in the house and not drink it. Now I buy one bottle on a Friday & it lasts me until Sunday. I don't drink during the week now, except on holiday, which isn't very often. I still think a bottle during 3 days feels too much, even though the guidelines say not. The facts are, alcohol does increase the risk of cancers. It's all down to habit and making a change to what you usually do. I buy apple juice for during the week, not the same but it helps me.

Try and find a “soft” drink you like which has a “serious” taste to it and isn’t just sweetened fizz. Angostura bitters is delicious with tonic or sparkling water, and you only need a few drops. Fizzy lemonade with a spoonful of balsamic vinegar is very good; add the balsamic cautiously at first as too much isn’t nice. Dress your drink up with ice and a slice and make a ceremony of it.

I haven’t read all the replies but I can easily identify with your problem. I got close to a bottle a night not all that long ago and because I’m on my own I got very scared about it and how I felt in the mornings. I always overslept, was dehydrated and I sometimes worried whether I was fit to drive so knowing I was taking a child out with me the next day has helped to pull me back. I had tried to do dry January but fell out of it in a week.

I put on weight because along with the wine I was eating”nibbles” before dinner. Saltiness of those didn’t help.
I started off by having every other day without alchohol and that made me realise how much better I felt and how much more I could do. Now I have some wine only at the weekend. I’ve stopped having it accessible in the house! Having to go further and unlock a door gives me time to ask whether I really want it. My difficulty is finding something to drink instead and it’s difficult because I’m not keen on sugary, sweet, fruit squashes. I have Diet Coke or ginger ale or tonic water with lemon. It hasn’t been easy but I know that because I wasn’t very happy for a number of reasons I felt I deserved something nice at the end of the day. At last I realised that the wine was making me feel worse rather than better. Even as I drank it I really hated myself for being weak and needing it.

I know it sounds weird but after a week of only drinking every other night I felt so much better and pleased that I had achieved that at least and decided to go the whole hog the following week.

Cutting wine out of my daily routine, together with the nibbles has resulted in a loss of weight which to me is a huge reward in itself. I’m sleeping better, eating sensibly and to my surprise I’m actually happier and much less stressed. I also spend less at the supermarket!

I think that if you can achieve alternate days dry you will feel better. If you were’t Worried you wouldn’t have posted. I had wanted to post my problem on here but was worried about the replies I would get. So you’ve been braver than me!

Just to say my drinking didn’t start early in life but only over the past couple of years.

Imho you really don’t drink that much compared to the average. I know the nhs say there is no safe levels now but I think a little of what you like does you good

Hi. This lady is concerned at her drink behaviours. So it matters not about the amount or regularity of others drink patterns. Personally I think we should all applaud her for reaching out.. Habits are hard to break but they can be broken. Maybe small strategies to begin with. Buy one bottle and be firm and drink it over 2 days with a meal. Grab a glass of water to clutch while watching tv. Pop the money saved into a pot and treat yourself every month or so to a spa session or save for a mini break. Walk more. Chat to practice nurse. I drive and am happy to be a nominated driver and not drink at all but that's me not her.. Its not easy to make changes but not impossible either. Good luck and good health to you.

I lost my husband five years ago. We always drank, and as with most people, it became a ritual. When I lost him, I kept up the ritual (and others, too) because it made my unwanted new life feel normal. I also didn't give a monkey's about my health and really wanted to die, and still do, but less so. I hit an empty spot late morning which I fill with a gin/vermouth. Start again at around 5pm, sometimes earlier. You would never guess, as I never get drunk.

Tried AA once, and it was full of people wrecking their lives with alcohol, and I felt like a fake (hated it anyway.) Know I'm putting myself at risk of all kinds of nasties, but it's so hard to control. Alcohol also, in my mind, connects with creativity, so if I'm stuck (I'm in an overcrowded creative profession anyway), I drink, and convince myself it helps, which it sometimes does. Joined "Club Soda" on Facebook, which I sometimes visit because it can be helpful, and has none of AA's semi-religious style which I loathed.

I am also old-old, and dread the future, officially opting for euthanasia, but that's not easy.

No condemnation here for those who drink too much even though I rarely drink at all. I have a similar issue with sweet stuff and it is as addictive as alcohol! The only way I can control it is not to have the stuff in the house. That way, the only time I am likely to cave is if I am eating out. Maybe the OP can avoid drinking too by not buying wine and not going down the wine aisle at the supermarket.

Hi Maggie, been there, done that, and it was a big factor in my first marriage breaking down. Maggie, do not buy wine. Do not buy alcohol. Don’t have it in your house. Don’t have it in your life. It’s poison and I am sorry, but you have to be tough with this one. I was sober for eleven years and then I managed to drink moderately, but it doesn’t stay moderate. Sorry, but if, like me, you have a propensity to drink too much and don’t know when to stop, you can’t drink. When I was sober I returned to uni and got a first class degree and turned my life around. Please don’t drink. I have stopped (again), as it was starting to creep up on me. I have had health problems so now I am starting on a healthy diet and exercise regime. There is a man on YouTube called Craig Beck and he is wonderful. Watch him. He’ll make you feel strong. Good luck. Well done for seeing there’s a problem. Now deal with it and you will do it. You’ll make yourself proud. Big hugs xx

This tends to be an unpopular message, but if you want to cut down, but find you can’t, you are at the least, a problem drinker - dependant to some extent. That may be physically, psychologically or both. I’d recommend seeing someone to explore that, preferably a Psychologist. If that is too expensive, then a counsellor. I talk about expense because if you have an NHS referral, you won’t be considered a priority. Therefore, you may have a long wait, and due to the demands of people with ‘more serious’ mental health problems, you’d be lucky to get a couple of appointments before being discharged.

I feel that this could have been me 6 years ago now. My epiphany came when my husband found an empty wine bottle next to the ironing board in an upstairs cupboard!!!!
I felt sadness and shame and as luck had it that afternoon at a dental appointment I read an article that spoke about a group she had set up because of her drinking called SOBERISTAS I joined, having never done anything like this in my life, it was exactly what I needed.
My skin now looks good, I don’t wake up feeling dreadful and eventually lost a stone weight.
Give it a look at it might just be for you, if not I am happy to support you in anyway I can, it’s good to give back
Anghared

I can really understand how that happens, after my divorce& the kids were at their dads I drank too much. II've remarried & my hubby has had a battle with drink too (vodka) he drank when working overseas & very lonely. His gp was helpful & referred him to a residential counselling facility (that was over 20 years ago when it was available) he went to AA but says it wasnt all that helpful for him. He paid for some sessions with a qualified hypnotherapist (who also got him off cigarettes later) and that did work. He doesn't go near vodka now & only has 3 brandies a year approx, no other spirits. However he does have two red wines per evening (started off at one when i first met him)but strictly not before driving. He cannot give it up completely nor can he stop the sleeping pill his doctors still prescribe and he often claims is 'no good'. Ive tried to discuss this with him because they should never be long term but he says if he cant have his sleeping pills he'll revert back to drinking more. Once he's had his 2 large wines & a sleeping pill I cannot rely on him in an emergency & I'm worried in case he ups the intake again.

My stepmother was an alchoholic and died of a brain haemorrhage at 50. There's always a reason why people drink with her it was a total rejection and hatred from her mother who had to get married. Try to work out why you drink; what you are trying to blot out. Alcoholics anonymous are brilliant people and will help.

I agree with the fooling the taste buds if possible, alcohol-free wine or, in my case, tonic with all the trimmings but no gin. Some lovely 'mocktails' you might like to make too. Enjoying alcohol could just be because you like having a glass by you as you relax, as some have said, so that might help. I also find if I make a cup of tea first, I don't really want the wine then! Well done and good luck.

There are lots of blogs out there. Mrs. D is one.

I found it much easier to give up alcohol entirely than restrict myself to a given amount. I took the decision to go dry 5 years ago, after my husband went into a dementia care home. We had been used to sharing a bottle of wine over dinner every night, and that in itself is far too much, but after he went into the home, I was lonely and sad, and I found myself drinking a whole bottle myself, and sometimes even opening another one. I decided the best thing was just to stop. I have alcohol in the house for other people and for recipes which require it, but I am not tempted. Sometimes people are rather challenged when I say "No thanks, I don't drink", but that's their problem! Very best of luck Maggie

I used to drink whilst cooking. Sometimes now I make a cup of tea before I start cooking and drink it as I go along. Often once the meal is ready I don't want alcohol. Not the same I know but it does work for me.

My Father was unhappily married and in great pain with arthritis. He would happily drink a bottle or two of rum or whisky every couple of days until my Mother pointed out how much money he was spending. He gave up immediately and for the rest of his life would only have the occasional pint of Guinness. Put the money you would have spent in a jar for a special treat and see how fast it mounts up.