I’ve been drinking too much all my adult life

Sorry haven’t read all the responses. Don’t buy it. If it isn’t in the house it’s much easier to drink. Once you are not drinking every night you will find it easier to drink less when you go out.

I used to drink pretty much every night. Then my husband stopped completely, it was no longer open or in the house so much and I barely drink now. If there’s an open wine bottle I am far more likely to drink than if none are open and if there’s none in the house I am very unlikely to go out to buy any!

There are many good suggestions on here. My own feeling is it's only worth drinking good wine so perhaps hit yourself where it hurts and buy good wine which you might savour slowly and be reluctant to buy two bottles. Someone said that taking up cross stitch is not a help but I found crochet kept my hands busy and helped me not to nibble in the evening and so lost weight- I'd do the same if I felt I was drinking too much. I married into a heavy drinking culture in dh's family.
I wonder if op might look on Mumsnet as there are often people wanting buddies to lose wieight or stop drinking.
I am a g&t every evening person or a glass of wine with a meal but I've trained myself to be fussy as dh's family loved bargains i.e. Cheap gin and wine and as smokers they had no taste buds.
Good luck op.

I’m in my 70s and following the death a few years ago of my mother, who had been living with us until she died aged 97, I had fallen into the habit of drinking almost a bottle of white wine a day. It was on Gransnet, I think, that last December I came across people talking about “Dry January” (not drinking all month after the excesses of Xmas). I had a number of health issues at that time, including constant skin rashes, especially on my lower legs; swollen ankles; abdominal pain/backache that made it difficult to even stand up straight, and they’d become worse than ever. So I stopped drinking straight away. I intended originally to just stop for January, but the positive effect was so startling — no rashes or swelling, for the first time for several years — that I kept it up and have now not touched a drop for more than 9 months. Saved a fortune too. I recommend it!

One little thing which has helped me is deliberately arranging things to do in the morning. We all know the signs of a hangover and it isn't pleasant to be around.
It can be harder to resist the damn stuff when each day just stretches out before you.

If you have been drinking heavily it's actually dangerous to stop suddenly. I didn't know and just stopped after drinking one bottle of whisky or brandy a week. The doctor said I could have been really bad, so start by cutting down. Good luck!

I too need to cut back on the wine. Won't be able to afford it when I retire. I am finding it is just the glass habit. I am now replacing a glass of wine with cranberry juice...colour is right. Yearly tests show I have good liver and kidney function. Hope to cut back to just a drink on a relaxing Saturday night...

This will be a harsh reply ...but with respect, I wonder what you were wanting, by posting on here. If you are truly concerned about how you drink, you will be able to stop. Buy only small bottles of wine and make that decision, now, today, to limit the amount and way that you drink. Draw a line under it, use all your willpower, and do it....don’t try....just do it.Dont make excuses or it won’t happen. My sister drunk herself to death, irreversibly damaged her liver (it happens sometimes without you realising it) , put on weight, and had a fatal heart attack at a young age. Don’t go down that path. For myself, I was unwell a while ago, which meant I couldn’t drink alcohol for over a year...I had to stop...I never had a drink issue but missed the wine. I made some changes-and its so possible if you really want to do it. It can also be an addiction. If you think you can’t do it on your own, there is support out there. Post again, when you have made those changes, to help other people in the same position.

A bout of pancreatitis was my wake up call, and now have 2 small glasses of wine a day, however always have a glass of squash around which has helped with the habit of sipping from a glass, I think some of the problem with me was habit, good luck

I think the " Can anyone relate?" is a clue as to what the OP was after.....a decent, honest conversation and to feel she is not alone.

When I decided I wanted to cut down I just stopped buying wine with my shopping. If I want some, I can go out and buy it but I find that I very seldom do, its having it so available that's the problem. And its only wine, I can have gin in the house and not be tempted!

Personally I don't think a couple of bottles per week is excessive. If it isn't causing you any health (or financial) problems I wouldn't worry about it.
I hardly drink any alcohol but my husband gets through at least double what you're drinking - often significantly more. He always drains the bottle and has never managed to 'go sober' for more than 4 days!

Hi, you could try Drink Wise Age Well website.

I found a solution that works for me and helped me shift 10lb in weight too so a double whammy. Every evening I measure 250ml (1 large glass of white wine) into a pyrex jug. I leave it in the fridge then make that last all night by mixing with soda and ice, I put it in a nice large wine glass and it keeps me happy all evening. I decided to buy a soda stream too and I make my own soda water. Eases my conscience about using plastic bottles of soda. Try not to beat yourself up about it. Good luck

AmyLily I love that idea. I cut down a lot over the past few months mainly to support my husband who drinks far too much and I was “enabling” him. We were not getting on too well.

I went to a therapist for the first time in my life to discuss what to do. Result, No gin or vodka in the house anymore and wine only at weekends so reckon I drink a bottle a week over a two period. My skin is clearer, I am less fuzzy in the morning and my blood pressure is lower although not perfect. I am happy to be a designated driver and I have lost 14lbs and saved money too.

I have to confess that I do like good wine and would find it hard to stop completely but the benefits of cutting down are now obvious to me.

To the OP, I think you are very wise in considering cutting down and being aware. Better that way than it creeping up on you. Best of luck!

My mother in law drinks quite a bit and now becoming sneaky about it . She thinks She is behaving quite normal but slurring down the phone and keep repeating herself , is that normal . People are starting to give a wide berth but she can't see this is because of her drinking . She isn't a nice drunk she become obnoxious and demanding . Please don't end like her and do something about it now .

Will power is the best. I was drinking five or six pints every night and more at weekends but when i started a Teacher Training Course I gave it up and have never touched alcohol since, not even on 'special' occassions. I kept reminding myself that children and alcohol are a bad mix.

Try a tonic water in a wine glass. It makes all the difference and you can kid yourself it's white wine. Worth a try.

I dont think anyone has mentioned the addictiveness of that lovely feeling you get after a glass or so of good wine. Suddenly your troubles dont seem so troublesome, you relax, you chat more easily, laugh more easily and unsurprisingly enjoy it. For me this is crux of cutting back or giving up. How can I get the nice wine buzz, but not overindulge. My answer has been to buy only half bottles of wine or smaller. There are web sites which specialise in 'half wine' and most supermarkets now have the minature bottles which are something like 18.7 cl. So wine is now a weekend treat and even if the temptation to drink the whole bottle sets in, then the whole bottle is much smaller than it used to be. I doubt I will give up. On balance the odd glass of red is potentially better heathwise than teetotal, although I realise trying to establish that fact is difficult, controversial and probably varies from one individual to another.

I would have thought that two bottles of wine a week is not excessive or anything to worry about. I had a drink problem and would go through one third of a litre of vodka and a bottle of wine every evening, year upon year and persuaded myself I was OK! But of course I was compounding my mental problems. I only stopped that pattern once I had my grandson and have cut down to - well, two bottles of wine a week.

Hi Maggie - any suggestions that involve relying on willpower alone won’t work - you need to understand why you drink before you can stop and deal with the underlying cause
I have been a very grateful member of AA for ten years - and the main reason it works is that I now understand how to deal with life’s ups and downs without reaching for a drink instead
You say you’ve tried AA and it didn’t work - I’d try again if I were you
Your consumption sounds pretty low to me but each of us has their own limit and if you are worried then that’s a good reason to do something about it
The ongoing support of friends in the fellowship is really important and it’s important to keep going even if you lapse - as I have - because it’s not stopping that’s hard but staying stopped
Good luck x

Have you tried Blue Cross? Many people find them preferable to AA.

You have taken the first and most difficult step in acknowledging that you have a problem and want to solve it.

My husband is in the same boat, so perhaps some of the things we have found helpful, might help you too. I hope so.

Don't keep any drink in the house. It is much easier to resist temptation if you have to go out and buy some when you feel like a glass. You have time to reconsider whether you really want it or not.

Be honest about the fact that you are doing your level best not to drink. I don't mean tell everyone. It is no concern of your place of work, but let family and trusted friends know that they will be doing you a massive favour if they NEVER offer you a drink.

Don't serve it for visitors to your home.

You say nothing works long term. To that I would like to say that everyone, who is trying to get rid of a bad habit, falls off
the wagon now and again.

When that happens, don't beat yourself up about it, get up and start again.

Lastly, have a word with your GP and ask for a prescription for Disulfiram tablets. You have to be completely sober when you take one (that doesn't seem to be a great problem for you). Once the tablet is in your system, you cannot take alcohol without feeling sick, giddy and very hot. These side effects effectively prevent one from drinking.

If you take Disulfiram, avoid desserts like trifle that contain alcohol as well.

My husband took them twice weekly for a year to stop drinking and now takes one, if he feels tempted.

Hope you succeed. It can be a stony path, but worthwhile.

Now is definitely the time to get out of the habit. It will be much harder once you retire.

Good luck. Send me a pm if I can help in any way.

To be honest, I don't think that 2 bottles over the space of a week is that much. What if you didn't have any in the house, would you have to go out and buy one? That would be more of a worry for me.

Hi Maggie.....I think you are very brave and honest and I think possibly my advice would be two ways. I would possibly see your GP and ask to be referred to the local mental health team that deals with alcohol problems and also AA as they are known for being extremely helpful and supportive. I hope you manage to sort the help that you want.

2 bottles of wine a week is 25 per cent over the recommended limit. The op is to be commended for recognising an issue and taking steps to reduce consumption.

Do you like prosecco?

I have found that supermarket brand 'de-alcoholised' fizzy wine is very drinkable (much nicer than the alcohol free ordinary wine), and can deal with the habit aspect of drinking in the evenings, as you pop the cork and pour it into a glass, just as though it is the real thing.

You won't get the 'buzz' of alcohol, but it's unlikely that you are addicted if you are drinking 2 bottles of wine a week, so replacing the habit aspect might be enough to break the cycle.