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confidence

(55 Posts)
desjumeaux17 Wed 08-Jan-20 18:22:30

I think I am losing my confidence. I have just been to Eldon Square, in Newcastle and ended up in meltdown.

I went to get my mobile repaired, with no success in Samsung and ended up getting the run around telling me to go to 02 and they would replace it. No such luck, they just offered to sell me a new phone. Which I didn't accept.

Result was I was crying my eyes out in the town centre.

Is this normal?

Fennel Wed 08-Jan-20 18:32:49

desjumeaux - I know Eldon Square well, I go there often.
But it's the last place I would go to for mobile repair.
I would go to Tesco in Gateshead where there's a boutique for that.
Not that I would bother, I rarely use my mobile.

Esther1 Wed 08-Jan-20 18:38:59

Poor you! I imagine you were intimidated and to a point bullied by those people in the phone shops. Don’t worry - of course it is normal to cry tears of frustration when you find yourself going round in circles. Try not to let it all get to you - sending hugs.

rosenoir Wed 08-Jan-20 18:39:43

We all have off days, maybe the tears were of frustration at not getting yourself understood or not understanding the phone situation.

Please do not let this put you off from going into town, I would suggest you go asap to prove to yourself that it was a one off and you are ok.

If you start to feel overwhelmed again stop what you are doing take yourself away from the situation have some deep breaths and get everything back into perspective, think about things you do well and achievements you have made.

Distraction activities also can help, think about the last 7 days meals you have eaten, recite a poem, name every relative you have or anything else that occupies your mind until you are calm.

M0nica Wed 08-Jan-20 18:41:16

I do not think it has anything to do with confidence, just the frustration about being given the run round and being back where you started when the run round stopped.

I have often felt like that when being past from pillar to post and back again many times.

Dottydots Wed 08-Jan-20 18:52:57

I have definitely lost my confidence. When I go to pay for something at the till I seem to faff around trying to get my card and money out in good time but always seem to keep the poor cashier waiting. Also, I usually add up the price of the items in my head but when I get to the counter I've forgotten. This only happens when I am out shopping in the town centre. Other times I'm fine.

I was also going to add something else here, but I've clean forgotten. Oh! dear!!

Scribbles Wed 08-Jan-20 19:09:39

I literally bolted out of Asda last week because the alternative was to sit down in the aisle and sob.

I'd only gone in to buy a washing up bowl but couldn't find the right aisle and kept bumping into/tripping over unsupervised toddlers and daft people who blocked the gangways to have a conversation while tuneless, irritating music played over the PA system.

OH was also in the store, queuing at the pharmacy. I called him from the car park when my BP had gone down a few points and told him where I was. Ten minutes later, he emerged with a washing up bowl and told me I'm a daft b****r.

He's probably right but it's not the first time it's happened and it won't be the last; supermarkets, shopping malls, anywhere a bit crowded and I go to pieces so the OP is not alone.

Don't worry about it OP. Take a deep, steadying breath and then ask on Next Door or a local FB group for recommendations for a decent local phone repair shop.flowers

ineedamum Wed 08-Jan-20 19:16:54

It used to be that "customers are always right"- but sadly it seems companies are getting so large, we have to fit in with them.

It is stressful dealing with shops now.

BlueBelle Wed 08-Jan-20 19:18:10

I think it does happen I went on a different journey, unfamiliar with me last year, and felt completely overwhelmed it all seemed unknown, too busy, confusing and I felt like a school kid out of town for the first time
It surprised me how panicky I felt, I don’t think I showed it but I was very uncomfortable
That would never have happened before

NanKate Wed 08-Jan-20 19:22:18

Dotty may I make a suggestion ? I have a small material bag with a long shoulder strap I wear across my chest. This is as well as a shopping bag, handbag etc. When I have finished my supermarket shopping I take my credit card and my loyalty card from my handbag and tuck them safely into the small shoulder bag.

I also put my mobile phone into that bag securely attached with a small clip I bought from Mountain Warehouse.

Then when I get to the checkout all is ready and I am not messing about looking for my card etc.

I bought the little bag from a charity shop for a couple of pounds.

It’s worth a try.

52bright Wed 08-Jan-20 19:24:15

For me technology itself is part of the problem. I've always considered myself reasonably intelligent and for that matter reasonably confident ...until technology raises its ugly head. Thinking of buying the grandkids something in town and tell daughter by text ...'can you screen shot it and I''ll see if they would like it?' No I can't. I can never make albums of phone photos or send them to others or a million other things everybody else seems to be able to do.

I can do the bare minimum. Phone and text people, take a photo and write here on Gransnet. Yes ...I know I could learn , but my patience for learning new things is non existent, so the advent of technology itself has left me lacking in confidence and out of step with the modern world.

Hope today's episode was a one off op. Getting older is a pain and sometimes catches us out in all sorts of ways we didn't expect. I'm sure that once your phone is fixed or you have a new one, you are far more competent in using it than I am flowers

HettyMaud Wed 08-Jan-20 19:28:41

I have started to loathe shopping in big stores. I don't like the crowds and the fact that I'm often the oldest person around. Better to shop in a smaller town if you can as the service in smaller privately-owned shops is usually so much more pleasant- or shop online. Don't worry, OP, I've tried to use my bank card as a bus pass and vice versa! If I had to try to sort out anything regarding a mobile phone or anything technical I'd have a meltdown. We are not of the generation that grew up with all that.

Septimia Wed 08-Jan-20 20:07:58

desjumeaux I'm not surprised you got upset in Eldon Square! I find it one of the most claustrophobic and depressing places I know - and I don't suffer from depression or claustrophobia. Bad service in shops only makes it worse.

I once went to the Apple shop there to get my laptop repaired - didn't realise that I needed an appointment and was made to feel a complete idiot. The service I subsequently got from them was very good, though.

Is there nowhere in Northumberland Street or the Metro Centre that you can try? Maybe the staff there will be more sympathetic.

Pat123 Thu 09-Jan-20 09:50:26

NanKate's suggestion is brilliant. Last year after losing my Freedom Pass on the tube, I bought a small bag which I also wear across my body & it's just big enough to hold my wallet, keys, tissues, travelcard & mobile phone. I make sure I always put everything back straightaway after using it. It's made a huge difference, no more faffing around at tills or on the doorstep trying to find stuff.

NanKate Thu 09-Jan-20 09:51:46

Excellent Pat we’ve started a trend 👍

Bluebird64 Thu 09-Jan-20 10:01:35

Aw so sorry you had a meltdown. I know Eldon Square too, when I visit my daughter in Percy Main we used to go to Jamie's opposite, now it's Banyan. Maybe the guys in the shop, who tend to be irritatingly hip and/or geeky, were a bit 'oh here comes an older person, we don't need to bother too much'. I once told a phone shop guy, at a time when phones were getting larger, that I needed a smaller one that would fit in my pocket when I'm cycling. He laughed hesrtily, and not in a nice way. One tip-off I did get in the 3 shop (from a woman) was not to upgrade or even buy a new phone from her, but instead to buy a new one elsewhere, much cheaper, which I did - from Argos!!

GillS Thu 09-Jan-20 10:02:31

These bags are such a good idea. Perhaps a local quilting or sewing group would be happy to make them. You might even go along and have a go at making one for yourself!

SusieWll Thu 09-Jan-20 10:02:47

I have meltdowns all too often. I can’t think of anything at the time so I find somewhere that I can rest against, pushing my back into the column of shop window or whatever. Then it’s phone out and I play Solitaire until I’m back to myself.
I’m generally okay if I know the area, there’s not too many people and it’s not too noisy. Going somewhere I don’t know well with an important chore to do would send me straight over the top. Commiserations X

Americanpie Thu 09-Jan-20 10:27:36

I know how you feel. I started out like this during the menopause and was having panic attacks. I am usually very confident but suddenly felt anxious and weepy. I'm OK now but it went on for years before I realised what was happening.
Its awful being given the run round and being fobbed off. I would try to get it repaired at one of the smaller shops if you can find one. Good luck and as my Mum used to say. Straighten your crown and remember who's daughter you are! x

moobox Thu 09-Jan-20 10:48:04

It depends whether you only do it in phone shops, because that is easy done! I walked into Eldon Sq Vodafone shop because the company had mixed up my account with some stranger's. I would have had to wait at least an hour and a half just to be served, and could have joined you in crying my eyes out.

There is a phone repair shop in Morpeth that could help you.

Phloembundle Thu 09-Jan-20 10:59:16

I have always used a cross body bag because it leaves hands free to rummage. Also, if I can't find what I' m looking for I will ask someone. If I can't find anyone on the shop floor, I have been known to go into their store rooms where they often shirk‐--- sorry, lurk. Then, whether shopping online or in store, I complain if I don't get reasonable service. I go straight to trustpilot online as this gets an immediate response rather than to the store. I used to get tearfully frustrated till I got even instead. I even benefit financially here and there with vouchers. It isn't something I make a habit of but it makes me feel so much better.

Daisymae Thu 09-Jan-20 11:05:54

Perfectly normal. I had a meltdown because I managed to get the bin collection day wrong.confused try somewhere else when you are feeling better

Saggi Thu 09-Jan-20 11:06:01

Tesco’s ...... best techies in the business.

4allweknow Thu 09-Jan-20 11:16:28

If you are anything like me with a mobile ie easily confused with technical jargon the staff probably suspected they would be able to convince you to buy a new one. It's why they are there not to help with a problem these days. You are not alone, take deep breaths and carry on.

inishowen Thu 09-Jan-20 11:16:37

I'm much more anxious as I've reached my sixties. I remember my aunt being the same at my age.