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Are we now expecting to have mental health problems?

(107 Posts)
Lizbethann55 Mon 02-Mar-20 19:58:29

I know what I want to say here, but I fear it may come out all wrong so I hope you will try to understand what I mean. Just these last few days within a couple of miles radius of where I live there has been the inquest into the death of a teenage boy who threw himself over a balcony at his school, a young woman who used to work on the Jeremy Kyle show was found dead after having been made redundant and just yesterday a motorway was shut because someone jumped off a bridge. Suicides seem to be increasing at an alarming rate. Mental health issues fill every news programme. Everyone , from royalty down, talks about it all the time. Yet it wasn't always like this. I wonder if our society is becoming so obsessed by having a perfect happy life that people can no longer cope with anything less and forget that negative emotions are as much a part of life as the good ones. I have a very dear friend who suffered from severe depression (caused by memories of being abused by an adopted brother) that she was sectioned several times for her own safety. She is now recovered but during her recovery period , every time she felt low or depressed she was terrified that her illness was returning. We had to tell her that those feelings were normal and natural and that "normal"( her word) people did feel down sometimes. That sometimes feeling low, unhappy, lonely , guilty, depressed, a failure etc etc etc were actually part of normal everyday living and life just as much as feeling happy, fulfilled, contented etc. So shouldn't we be learning that feeling negative emotions are not a sign of illness but a sign of being alive and that they will probably pass and that life is a journey of peaks and troughs, hills and valleys and not a trek along a flat plain. Of course there are always exceptions, like my friend. But wouldn't a more realistic view of lifes ups and downs help? Oh dear! I can already hear the accusations of me being heartless and not caring or understanding being hurled in my direction.

paddyanne Wed 04-Mar-20 14:31:35

Annie my daughter has agrophobia ,her GP believes its because she doen't want to meet anyone who knew her before her illness took hold of her.Now she can barely walk is several stone heavier than she was and has difficuly holding anything because of a problem with her hands.Its easier if she's taken somewhere in the car where she doens't know anyone ,then she doesn't have to worry about them judging her

Anniebach Wed 04-Mar-20 15:15:31

paddyanne I am so sorry for your daughter, I do understand, being judged because of an illness is cruel , your
daughter ,like me , has been driven into the phobia , it’s so
wrong. I hope she is getting support to go out x

Hetty58 Wed 04-Mar-20 15:45:53

Lizbethann55, I'd rephrase your question as 'Are we now expecting 'normal' to be happy, fulfilled and content?'

Maybe people's expectations of life have changed? Perhaps they more readily assume that everyone else is having a fantastic time so there must be something 'wrong' with them?

Or could it just be that now it's acceptable to voice negative feelings, it's OK to discuss mental health without fear of being stigmatised?

At least people can talk about it now there's less pressure to appear 'normal' however you really feel.

knickas63 Wed 04-Mar-20 16:55:58

I can understand where you are coming from , but a lot of Mental illness is far more than just feeling down or negative. The modern world is a double edged sword. It is not kept in the dark and hidden away so much now, which is a truly good thing, but there are far more pressures on people, particularly young people, that exacerbate it.

Lizbethann55 Thu 05-Mar-20 07:11:38

Thank you all for your responses. I had wondered how my post would be received and regretted it almost as soon as I had posted it. I had expected to be shot down in flames and was so terrified that i decided not to look and never go on gransnet again. I am glad i changed my mind. So many of you have such sad stories. I hope you have found sharing them cathartic. My own family has not been safe from mental health issues. My DH has been on prozac for many years. It is the only way he keeps his life from being just black and white with no shades of grey inbetween. As for my DD. I would sell my soul to take away her mental anguish. So i really truly did not want to disparage anyone who is suffering. I just honestly worry that the lines are becoming blurred between "being depressed" and "suffering from depression ". I hope you understand. And thank you again.

Greymar Thu 05-Mar-20 08:00:03

Well done for being brave. I wonder if people could share positive information of services they have used, any little bit of information they have found helpful and so on. I think maybe HQ could oversee this?

anxietyuk, seems good to me. There is a human being on the end of the line who will offer help.