I am very cross - a corona virus story.

I don't know what age you are - but you may be in the high-risk category ...? No, you can't have her back to stay with you. She'll have to get herself an hotel. Hard decision to have to make. But just ask yourself - would she put her well-being at risk for you? (You have to be sensible!)

Even one night is too risky. She is responsible for her own decisions.

Camp out in someone's house for a few days - someone whose address she doesn't know. And switch your mobile off. Daughter will know where you are. No cocky cousin is worth risking your life and the lives of your family for

Examine your deepest motivation for accepting her to stay. Have you suffered from rejection yourself in the past? If so you may be projecting the horrible feeling this engendered in you onto her. You can’t therefore bring yourself to reject her. But she is using you unfairly. You should book an hotel room for her and tell her to get the US Embassy to sort her problem, which is not yours.

Oh dear, what a mess. After not seeing her for 40 years and just helping her with a stop gap before going off somewhere else I really wouldn't have her back. As others have said,put yourself and your dd first. She must have money to be able to afford to travel. Please put your foot down and say NO.

Why can't you say NO? If you get stuck with her what will that do to more important relationships?
It's not that difficult to say "Don't come, I dont want you here."
If you never see her again - will it matter?

Folk like this annoy me. Id be contacting her or the authorities to say the lady needs to return to her own home. If you take her in, she will be with you for months. Sadly, she should have returned home and not travelled to Greece.

Unbelievable... not wanting to put on you Schnakie.. but come on..... I do hope you haven`t let her over your doorstep. you said you didn`t want advice.. but how do you expect us to react? it is people like her, and you???? who are not helping.. how many people could you be infecting by allowing her into your home?

unbelievable....

my dil was asked by a care home to go look after a 94 year old.. she was actually thinking of going... I just asked her if her family, children and all were less important that her, dil, need to feel needed.... isn`t that what this is about?

You should not accept her. You are on lockdown so can't. Give her the number of the US embassy and the travel inn.

Sometimes we just need to be selfish. You hardly know her. Take a deep breath and say no.

It would maybe be different if this is someone you are close to, but you said you've not seen her for 40 years.

She has chosen to ignore all the advice and has placed herself and others at risk.

You owe this woman nothing, and definitely not a place in your home for goodness knows how long. And how will you feed her? It's hard enough finding groceries at the moment, let alone finding enough to feed an additional mouth. Would she even be paying her way?

I think you really ought to hoist up your big girl's pants and just say no. If you never have contact with her again - would it really impact on you at all? You need to put yourself first here.

Trump has said a day or two ago that American citizens are being recalled home but then he’s shutting the borders indefinitely. If she doesn’t go home she can’t claim housing, benefits or nhs treatment here for what we’re being told is the rest of the year, not just 12 weeks or so now.
Text her and inform her that she needs to get a connecting flight straight back to the USA. Don’t let her stay a single night or you may have her for the rest of the year!

You say she is irresponsible. Well, won't you be guilty of the same if you let her into your home to possibly infect you and your dd.

Not on the same scale, but we had to let a friend down at the beginning of this week.We had promised to go to a hospital appointment with him and drive him there. I felt bad saying we could no longer do it because I think we generally want to be kind to people and don’t like reneging on promises. But we had to put ourselves first. In the event, he used taxis rather than cancel the appointment. As I said upthread coping with feeling guilty for doing the right thing is part of being a responsible adult. I sometimes think that people who are not prepared to be grown up and make tough decisions probably believe thatit’s easy for the rest of us. It isn’t.

schnackie - this is a dreadful worry for you. There are two things for you to really consider: 1) you are 67 - do you have any underlying health conditions? If so, you should be self-isolating. That means you cannot have foisted upon you a lodger who has been on flights to and from another country, and in jail in that country. She might bring the coronavirus into your home and kill you. 2) even if she is completely healthy, and you are also healthy, your mental health will suffer as a result of her presence. And this will affect your immunity.
I know it is difficult to do but you need to step up to the plate and make it very clear that she must not return to you. She must contact the American Embassy. Your door must remain shut and you must think about yourself and daughter. Please be sensible - we are in a pandemic situation here.

I don't know what you decided schnackie but she should have stayed at the airport and got the next flight back to the States.

You cannot put yourself and your DD at risk, how can she expect you to?

Please don't.

You could be generous and tell her that she can come AFTER she has isolated for 2 weeks in a hotel. It sounds as if you have a one bedroom flat though. It's going to be hell!

Why did they arrest her?

You sound like me -. I cannot cope with saying 'NO' and invariably find myself doing things I don't want to.
This time you must be firm.
If its easier for you - LIE!
Say you have been quarantined by the NHS (you had no choice in the matter and you'd be breaking the law if you allow her into your home) You have a cough and a temperature and are infectious (the NHS is a revered institution in the States and must be obeyed). Say you will be FINED if you break the rules and CANNOT offer her hospitality much as you want to.
Say the UK rules are very strict on this matter (which they are) and you will be breaking the law if you allow her over the doorstep.
Direct her to the embassy and tell LIES!

And more LIES.

Unless, as someone else has said, you can find your Big Girl knickers and say NO.

No!

She hardly knows this person, being isolated in a flat with her for possibly months sounds like a recipe for disaster.
An Agatha Christie moment!

I'm sorry but this was her choice. Stop worrying.

suzie your post yesterday at 23.00, I think you may have got the wrong end of the stick.

She is a cousin whom you don't know. Be kind but tell her she can't stay with you for your own safety and she'll have to stay elsewhere. She should contact the US Embassy in London for their help. As a US citizen she will be allowed to re-enter the US (if there are flights).
You are risking you and your family by accommodating a cousin whom you don't really know. What's the worst that can happen? She never talks to you again - you've managed this long without her in your life, so it will be no great loss. Not trying to be unkind just practical and you need to think of YOU and YOURS.

Can you explain phoenix please- that would be helpful

suziewoozie this woman is not the OP's daughter, but a cousin whom she hardly knows. You could read the post again, perhaps.

The simple answer is to tell her that you are self isolating. She cannot argue with this.