Black Dog Gang 6

annie that was so unkind. Your family should have supported you not made matters worse.
flutterby I can’t explain things like annie does. Her knowledge and faith outdo mine. I just know that what we have faith in is peace at the end of our lives when all pain will cease. We are not promised a life free from anxiety or worry, I wish we were. I just keep praying and hope x

Good Evening all xxx Hope you are doing ok right now. There has been lots going on for me in lock down. As i mentioned DS is moving home and he is bringing his current house mate! along with 2 snakes 1 gecko 1 cat and 17 chickens...oh lordy . I have noticed my hearing is getting really bad and so I decided to embark on a BSL (British sign language) course. its going really well. I,m a bit cack handed as i,m having to use my left hand due to arthritis so sometimes i,m signing backwards !!! my beautiful binks is looking so healthy he is shiny and has gained weight. Tonight i got to touch him twice. He still doesnt like it but i,m going to keep trying. My main negative in the current times is that i havent seen my GD for months and its breaking my heart. My daughter is thinking about if i can see her but as i,m extremely vulnerable she keeps saying no. Thing is i dont care if i catch it from my GD. One kiss would be worth it. xxx

Why of course you are anxious, we all are when making such a big life change but I'm sure you will cope.

annie talking therapy/CBT is supposed to help when you know the reason you are anxious/depressed but it didn't work for me. What had happened had still happened and I wasn't able to 'change my thinking' as they expected. I think if you wait until you feel ready and then take baby steps you will eventually manage it but it has to be in your own time.

Nanny my family could move in with whatever they want except snakes! No way could I have one anywhere near me. Good for you.

Positives - I have sorted out a difficult bank issue and attempted to reconcile a complicated account. It didn't reconcile so I have sent the proof and am awaiting their response. Neither of these was difficult but I had been procrastinating so feel good that I have done it. I love my spreadsheets. Now going to look for a possible UK family holiday just in case it is allowed. Now that would be a good end to lockdown, all of us together.

Stay strong all.

Hello, can I join your lovely thread and tell my story?I

Don't know where to begin really; this has all happened to me since lockdown. I just want to go back to the normality of life before. Although DH died 2 years ago I had settled into making a new life for myself without him. Found new activities to do, went to the cinema, shopping days out etc, made new friends, and was happy with my lot and could cope.

And then the virus...... I was fine until about three weeks into lockdown, and was quite happy to be at home. That was until I noticed the number of cases and the deaths ramping up. I then became convinced that the virus was out to get me, it was lurking everywhere, was in the house, and I started to get anxious and frightened. Lost my appetite, couldn't eat and lost half a stone.I was so bad one day that I rang the doctors and was prescribed Diazepam. That didn't lessen the anxiety, so that was upped to Lorazepam. The GP referred me to local mental health services and they very quickly started me on a course of CBT over the phone, which has been excellent.

Then I foolishly rang the GP again last week and said that the Lorazepam wasn't helping. I suppose that he made an instant diagnosis over the phone that I was depressed and prescribed Sertraline. I stared taking them on Sunday, and had never felt so ill in my life; took another one Monday and just felt worse and worse - feeling extremely sick, running to the loo frequently, stomach churning all the time, couldn't bear to even look at food. Woke up yesterday feeling worse, and thought I've had enough of this. Rang the doctor again, and she told me to come off them, and the Lorazepam. Quite glad I'd only taken 2 of the wretched tablets.

Still felt ill all day yesterday, until the evening when I was able to get a bit of food down me. Still feeling sick this morning, but it has just worn off, so perhaps I can face a cup of tea now. Just longing to be back to normal. Wondering how long the side effects of the Sertraline last.

Been on my own now all through lockdown, only seen family through glass, but do keep in touch by phone etc with them and friends.

Sorry for a post full of gloom and doom, but just felt I had to tell to tell someone who might understand how I feel.

Hi all x

nanny you don’t care if you catch the virus if you can hug
your granddaughter ? Your daughter would care very much , please let her decide , and in my opinion a kiss isn’t worth catching the virus and causing much worry for your family,
and who would take care of your cats ?

nonnie therapy has it’s place, I had EMDR therapy last year
for PTSD, it helped a lot.

You are speaking of grief, but CBT can help with anxiety and
depression, no CBT or talking therapy could help me change
my thoughts on my darling daughter’s suicide, but I would
advise anyone with anxiety, depression, OCD, phobias to try
these therapies.

whywhy you are apprehensive, that’s natural, you are starting a new life , don’t fall into ‘what if’ , when you move
keep posting here if possible x

bluesapphire you are most welcome here. We all understand panic, anxiety and worry. They are all words that we a very familiar with.
Firstly don’t worry about the sertraline. If you only took two tablets it will wear off quite quickly. The side effects you mention are quite common but I expect affected you a bit more than others. This virus has had a big impact on us all and many people are worried and anxious as you describe. Many people who have the virus are fine and it certainly isn’t out to get you. You say that you had built up a life for yourself following the death of your husband. That is really good. You have friends who will still be there when this virus is over and the lockdown is beginning to ease now. Are you going out for a walk every day? Even a short walk will help. Try eating small amounts of bland food until your stomach settles. You have family and friends who care for you, so many positives in your life. Take care and come on this thread as often as you like. We all share our troubles here x

nanny, like nonnie I couldn’t bear living in a house with snakes. I have a real phobia about them. I totally agree with annie about your DGD. It is not worth the risk and think of how your DGD and you DD would feel if anything happened to you. Please don’t put your daughter in that position. She is doing her best to take care of you. Be grateful she cares.
How do you feel about having your son and his menagerie back home? You will certainly have a houseful. Will your cats be ok with the chickens do you think? Your sign language course sounds interesting. What a good thing to try and learn something that could help you and perhaps others. Have a good day.
nonnie good to hear you are sorting out your bank issues. Hope you get the problem resolved. It would be nice for you to have a family holiday when all this virus business is over.
annie how are you today? I agree therapies can help people it’s a matter of finding the right one. Are you still trying to do your cross stitch? Hope you have a good day.x

Hello BlueSaphire and welcome. X

I fully support Doodle’s reply.

Can you continue with the talking therapy, you found it
helpful. Please post as often as you wish, we all understand
anxiety, depression etc.

Hi Doodle yes still cross stitching, working on one for younger granddaughter, want it for her 21st this month but
can’t have it framed in time . It is relaxing, concentrating on
the pattern stops negative thoughts and worries.

I have bought two more kits , samplers with Cariad at the centre, for my granddaughters, Cariad is Welsh for
‘Beloved One’.

Welsh Water has asked us to cut back on use of water, mmmm,
bottles ! ?

Blue I hope you feel better soon. Welcome to the gang, you will find plenty of support on here.

annie the CBT was years before the grief. Glad the EMDR helped you. I tried cross stitch, wasn't very good at it. I have lots of friends who sew and put me to shame.

Hi All just been reading some of the posts I hope Blue Sapphire you are feeling better. I'm on my own although have seen family at a distance and anxiety has gone through the roof as well as at times been working.
After phone counselling today the counsellor mentioned tapping. It's an app that I will download.

Just wondered if anyone else has or is using tapping and how they have got on with it?
P.s only just stumbled upon this thread!?

nonnie so sorry x

Jishere welcome . I remember an earlier Black Dog thread,
several posters said they had tried EFT (tapping) and it helped
them , it’s worth trying , good luck with it

I will give it ago thank you for the welcome Anniebach

Jishere make sure you don’t download the faster method,
there has been much disagreement within the complimentary
treatment groups about the the faster method.

I telephoned someone who is an EFT practitioner to ask and this was his advice , good luck, x

jishere welcome. Sorry you are so anxious at the moment. I know nothing about tapping but like annie said others have been on this thread who have found it helpful. Hope it works for you.
annie I’m so pleased you are still doing your cross stitch. Having such a hobby is so therapeutic. I am hopeless at painting but I am enjoying what I am doing, your DGD will be thrilled with her gift I am sure. I have heard the word cariad before. My mother told me what it meant. I think it’s a lovely word. ?

Hello everyone.
Dearest Annie I am glad to hear you are still doing your cross stitch. I hope you can finish it for your granddaughters birthday, she will be so thrilled. I found some material I bought yesterday to make a cushion cover, its a red design of William Morris, it is lovely. It just got pushed away in the bedding chest. Anyway I will start to do it now. I think we have to immerse ourselves in something to take our mind off things.

I have had quite a difficult afternoon with my daughter, ringing and ringing and going over and over the same thing. Something that she does periodically, but it is so wearing. I feel so sorry for my granddaughter having to listen to it all - it just all seems so unfair sometimes. I think her medication has been changed, although I am not certain, but I will ring tomorrow to find out if that is the reason.

Hello Bluesky nice to have you with us and also jishere. You will find kindness and understanding here, people who will listen and are happy to. Always come here when you need a shoulder to lean on. Anxiety is made so much worse with the present circumstances. Hugs to you both.

Goodness Nannie you are going to have a full household! .

Nonnie glad you have sorted out your bank problem etc. something like that is always at the back of the mind and needs to be dealt with, no matter how difficult.

Hope you are alright Flutterby and keeping on keeping on xx

Doodle you are a reassuring name to see on here.

I hope everyone has a peaceful evening, take care, stay safe and God bless xx

lavender it must be exhausting and upsetting , yes it does seem unfair my love.

I love William Morris, good luck with it. I find cross stitching
helps so much, I am concentrating on the pattern and getting
the needle in the right hole of the Aida no other thoughts. I stopped stitching a year ago because of the arthritis, I am
much slower now but don’t care, seeing the pattern emerge
on the material is worth it.

Enjoy making the cushion cover x

good evening all. I will 100% go with my DD wishes re DGD i certainly would not want them to suffer feelings of any distress IF i caught the virus form them. DD gets very anxious where DGD is concerned I cant blame her, a child is a precious gift and for me to be her Nanny is the most wonderful gift ever.

Feelings of DS moving home...hmmm...I am happy and I am delighted he felt he could come to me and ask for this. None of the animals bother me DH and myself looked after the snakes while he was at uni and again when he was trying to settle in a new area when he got a job in London. I think the cats will be very delighted that the chickens are coming ha ha ha. My DD has chickens and her cats soon learnt that chickens will hurt you and now there are no issues so I am hoping for the same. My issue is one of my dogs..she will happily chase and kill so my DS will need to be on his A game there!!

My BSL course is great. I struggle with a couple of signs because of my arthritis but its still understandable.

bluesapphire and jishere welcome to this lovely group of people. They are always here with warm welcoming words and advice xx

Thank you all for such a warm welcome. It's nice just to read so many warm and supportive comments from and for one and all. Annie yes I will keep that in mind I'm downloading tomorrow, so yes Doodle thank you it would be fantastic if it works.
How wonderful Nanny that you are doing a BSL course, I know there is sign language on some of the kids programs and it's lovely that everyone is inclusive. I watched Eastenders the other night, I'm not a regular viewer but it was interesting as the whole program was from how Ben sees the world with no hearing. Good night all.

Jishere Welcome. No, not heard of tapping

Lavender your daughter is lucky to have you to offload onto. Imagine how difficult it would be for her if she didn't.

Sorry, nothing to contribute today

Hi all x

So much fear and unrest in the country , we can unload here,

Hugs to all x

nonnie (hugs) ?
jishere hope the app works for you. Pop in here whenever you like.
nanny it sounds as though you will be happy to have your son home including his menagerie. ?
lavender sorry your daughter is going through a rough patch and that is impacting on you and her daughter.
The William Morris material sounds good. Hope your cushion turns out well.
annie good morning to you too. Hope you have a good day.
All these troubles in the world and so many because of prejudice or misunderstandings. If only we could all live in peace with one another. Take care all x

Hello all not much to say, still very down...
I have seen my lovely grandkids, back to square one weather not on my side so can’t see them again till rain stops..
Hope everyone is coping better then me at the moment.
Welcome to our new friend.
Back soon take care all.

I will do Doodle and I totally echo your words of living in peace together.
Joce345 that was nice to see your grandchildren, how many have you got? It's been trying to rain here all day too. Take Care allx