Anxiety has taken over my life

You are grieving, your best friend so ill it's natural to feel anxious. There have been some good suggestions on here and you are far from alone.
The advise seems to be seek help, to spend time with children and grandchildren, but not everyone is lucky enough to have them. You have to find interests that you enjoy and you have your friend who needs you.
I am the life and sole of any gathering, but this isolation has got to me, where I live I am the only one alone, they all have someone living with them, I miss my husband so much and in my old life I was always out and about with friendly aquaintances but this has shown me I only have two true friends.
Grief is dreadful, you just try to find a way of living round it because life is prescious and we must carry on.. You are far from alone and I like most people understand your feelings.

You need to talk with your doctor.
Anxiety can be reduced by spending more time with your children and grandchildren. The love of your children, a positive attitude in difficult situations, faith in yourself and God can help you to withstand all your anxious thoughts.

Anxiety is an awful disease. It is not that you are not strong enough, just that you have used up your store. You can build your store up again. Some antidepressants are good for anxiety as they could help build your serotonin levels up. It is only like taking insulin which you would take if you had diabetes. If you don't want to try that, then there are lots of supplements you could try. Cognitive Behaviour therapy is good. For example, designate a time and place you can do your worrying every day for half a hour only. When the worries try to sneak in, just keep telling yourself you have an allocated slot for those. Try meditation and self-hypnosis, lots of resources online. Or even see a hypnotherapist. Good luck and take care ?

The "six month low" is fairly common, when all the paperwork is sorted, the Widow Fog is beginning to lift, and then it hits you, nothing is ever going to be the same again. Join Way Up, and you will find others at the same stage as you, when you think "is it just me...?" no it isn't!

Thanks 'Focused' - for our great suggestions. When I think of my sick friend I feel very guilty feeling like I do.

Thanks everyone - just reading the caring replies has helped greatly. Bless you all.

Sorry - posted twice as didn't think first worked

I don't think this has anything to do with the situation we are all in. It has to do with your situation. When my husband died I felt anxious and afraid of everything. When I realised that these were feelings I had been suppressing during his illness so I could be strong for him I started to heal. It is a long process.

Wow - thank you everyone, I am overwhelmed with all your caring comments. They have given me the courage to get the car out today and go for a short drive and made an appt to chat to my GP. I never thought about still grieving but you are all right in saying that as he had a cardiac arrest whilst sitting with me for breakfast - it was a horrible situation and shock. Best wishes to everyone and stay safe.

You have done so well sharing your thoughts- thank you. I read a tip the other day - when we feel anxiety building up try to focus on breathing in for a count of 4, hold for 4, breathe out for 4 and hold for 4 - and repeat, it apparently helps with calming but do seek professional help So the situation doesn’t escalate. Xx

Narellee222 Can only add my condolences to you. I lost my dear husband 14 months ago and the grief is very hard to bear sometimes, especially now in these strange times. Cannot add anything further to the kind advice here on GN so will
wish you happier times to come - they will - take care and stay safe.

It’s all the little niggly things that gave caught up with you. Your friend being poorly is just the last straw. Be kind to yourself and take life easy for a while if you can Xxx

I recommend an article by The Barn published on their fbk page on March 25th. I have it copied on my desktop and reread it as needed. It's a very practical explanation of our reactions to lock down and how to cope. 'It's a BEAR!!!!' to 'not a bear'.

Narelle, I've said this before to someone else, if you have Facebook look up a post from a page called the Barn. They posted a really sensible post about the physical reasons we're all feeling so anxious. They talk about an 'it's a BEAR!!!!' situation and the how and why of your reaction and how to scale down to a 'not a bear' situation. My DH and I now use it as shorthand if we're having a moment and I have it on my desktop if I need to reread it. If you can't find it I can send it to you. Stay calm, you're stronger than you think.

My oldest daughter works in Wilko on the till she is anxious every day going to work. She misses her gym, her only social. She worries about her 18yrs old student son working part time in Ocado warehouse with people being sent home after testing positive every day. He is still in his student accommodation but she has a partner who is working in London who has underlying illness so my grandson can't visit his home. Her toddler goes to nursery so she worries about him. Nothing I can say helps, just deal with it isn't an option. Every day she WhatsApp me when will it end mum?

There is a brilliant but very old fashioned book called Self Help for Your Nerves by Clare Weeks I think. It was my bible when I had panic attacks 25 years ago and my mum has used it too. See what you think.

I tried saying over and over I’m not afraid I’m getting better and this chant is also really helpful.

Other things are hypnosis and yoga which I depended on to get me through my anxiety. I ended up accepting the panic attacks and aniexty would pass and they did. I’m quite a calm person now!

Hello. I am so sorry for your loss. It’s only natural that you are feeling this way. Anxiety is awful and so debilitating. I see a Counsellor for mine and have done for a few years as it keeps me grounded. I hope you find the help you need but don’t struggle alone, reach out on here again if you need to xx

Hi Narelle
I’m in Aus too
Don’t forget we’ve had drought bushfires floods now the virus It’s a wonder any of us are still standing !!! And you’ve had bereavement too
There’s great counselling assistance available here & it’s free Just ask at Salvos Vinnies or your Doctor & go
I did that & my anxiety levels have really dropped
Please do it It’s no fun coping alone xxxxxxx

This is a lovely group, with lots of very wise advice and compassion. Thanks to all who reach out to those in anxiety and some degree of meltdown

Bless you! It is not a surprise you are suffering anxiety. It is still early days in your bereavement and all the other things, like the virus, broken pipes etc mount up.

It is nearly four years since my DH died and I found bereavement counselling extremely useful and, like *Dillyduck, I joined Way Up which has been very helpful. During this lockdown, I am missing the monthly meetings but, the Forums are still open.

One tip, if you decide to try Way Up, is to put Way Up Forums into your browser or you will get an employment/business group.

Narelle222 sending much love. Well done for recognising how you are feeling at the moment. If you can get some talking therapy that would be great. Perhaps the Doctor would prescribe some pills to support you in the short term whilst you come to terms with everything going on in your life. I wish you all the very best for a happy future xx

Thank you for being brave enough to write about your feelings. You are still grieving and have had all these other issues to deal with, and then this virus. Many of us in the UK are not OK with the lockdown and are silently suffering in many ways, and I for one am thoroughly fed up with it all. When my son died 5 years ago aged 39 I was numb and in shock and full of anxiety. I didn't want to go out of the house because I had this irrational idea that if I stayed put and safe then I would be ready and prepared for the next nasty shock that I was sure was just round the corner. Family members talking about holidays irritated me. No one wanted to talk about what had happened. The GP said "I'm so sorry my dear". The priest who took my mother's funeral said "the mind copes but the body takes the strain. Sometimes we have to be open to receive help." and I have often thought of that. My advice is see the GP, try and they may advise some counselling or other help, be kind to yourself, only do activities you enjoy (I found learning something new was great), only see people who are helpful (maybe you have a friend who is a good listener), and time does not heal, but eventually you get used to it and realise nothing is your fault but you will cope in the end.

Hello
I am sure you are coping but feel that you are not! You have had a very difficult year with the loss of a loved one plus this unprecedented virus to contend with. One thing is ok to be anxious about but 2 major issues is hard. Age doesn’t matter, we are all anxious about our futures, finances, families, friends, health. So don’t sweat the big stuff. Make a lust of your priorities then tuck them off. Where are you in Australia as things are easing there? I know as my brother is informing me.
Talk to friends, family, write a journal. Have a sofa day when needed, nothing wrong with that. Be kind to yourself and pamper yourself with a treat now and again. Take care

I really can understand how you feel. Everything has taken my confidence and positivity,like you. My husband died last October. In England there is a charity phoneline for the elderly ,called Silverline.
I have found them so helpful and supportive,you can tell them exactly how you feel. Maybe you have a helpline in Australia. It does help to talk. It is not being weak,it is helping you to recognise what you are really feeling anxious about. Things will get better. You have overcome so much. Wishing you relief from the pain you are suffering. You will be strong again.

No wonder you are feeling anxious with all the changes in your life at these unprecedented times ! As others have suggested I think you can get FaceTime counselling which would help to talk through your grief. People only tend to share their best side on social media So please don’t be so hard on yourself .

Poor you, it really is a horrible way to be - I have lived with it now for about a decade due to my health deteriorating and causing me to look like an absolute hag! Actually having to wear a facemask going out now has helped mine a little! Having no access to my friends and family though is just awful, and the thought of this going on for another 18 months is making me think I might rather prefer the virus and get it over and done with - if I see it through, good I will have some immunity and be able to see my grandchildren and daughters, if I don't, then life is miserable enough anyway and full of such stressful situations over my health, financial problems, not seeing people etc depression, am I really that bothered either way?? Not sure ..... to be honest?

I am pleased you have gone to the GP but I do think you need to go again and see if they can help you further - I think when all this is done, and am sure it is the case already, there are going to be a lot of sad elderly people and there will be a overwhelming of the NHS in other ways - problem is it generally takes years to be taken seriously and get help when MH is involved - my daughter made 12 suicide attempts before she got any help at all, dreadful ....

Makes me wonder what was said for a post to be removed off this thread too?