Black Dog Gang 7

Sorry I must have been half asleep when I posted last night and I missed your news nanny. You must have been so relieved but I am pleased the baby would have been welcome regardless.
lavender hope you and your DD are ok too.
annie no news on the job front yet. Early days I suppose. Lockdown is not helping their family. Hope things get better for them soon as with all those with troubles and worries,
DH has developed cellulitis in his leg so back on the antibiotics. I am off to have my haircut this afternoon. First time in 23 weeks.
Hope everyone has a good day.

Hi. Never posted on here before in fact didn’t know about Black Dog Gang - hope it’s ok for me to post on here. I’ve suffered from anxiety and depression for over 25 years since my first husband died suddenly. I am happily remarried but still suffer from debilitating depression. I have a wonderful GP who will see me anytime and I’m on Sertraline. My GP upped my pills to 150 mg 3 weeks ago but I still feel so low and down. I don’t understand why I’m like this as I have no worries as such except this feeling of deep dread. Have GP appt on Fri so will see what he says. Just feel I will never be back to normal

Jan16 of course you are welcome here.
You will find many people here suffering with anxiety or depression who will sympathise with you.
Maybe 3 weeks isn’t long enough for the increased dose to take effect. It is good you have a GP who understands.
You say you have no worries but are low and down. Can you tell what caused the deep dread. Is there something you are afraid might happen that caused you concern.
annie and all, how are you today?

Good evening everyone and welcome Jan. I too suffer from a feeling of deep dread and can’t really pinpoint why I feel so low and anxious so you’re absolutely not alone as I’m sure others would agree with. Have you tried anything apart from medication? Are you able to talk to your husband?

Hello Jan you are most welcome, on Black Dog we are all
here to share, support, listen, talk and understand.

You speak of a deep dread, is there a thought which sets this off ? Many have this feeling but cannot relate it to anything,
there is much anxiety surrounding us all caused by the virus, it’s affecting much of the country,those who have suffered from depression and anxiety for a long time are vulnerable to
a rise at this time, it good you have a GP who is supportive
Please post as often as you wish, we are here everyday x

Doodle hope you relaxed at the hair salon, well done x

I was fifty when the black dog came and my life caved in. A bullying boss and the menopause and the capable person I had been just couldn’t cope any more. The doctor was wonderful and helped me through to the point I was ready to start again. My DH was bewildered but so kind and patient. He still is. Twenty years later and I’ve never been off some kind of drug to take the edge off the dog. My latest blip came three weeks ago, not Covid related but still the same black hole I couldn’t see my way out of. Stress? Clinical depression? Anxiety? I don’t know what you’d call it now but I do wish I could free myself from drugs. I don’t know what the real me is any more. I have nothing much to worry about. I have a lovely DH, children, grandchildren and a great granddaughter and still I dread going out, socialising, conversing with others. I get so edgy in company and just want to get home and be safe. It’s no way to live. Can any of you advise me. I’m lost.

Hell Jayt welcome. May I ask ? Why do you want to come off your medication? How long have you had this feeling of
only being safe at home ? And when you speak of ‘the real me’
do you mean ‘the real you’ before that dark time when you
were 50?

Do post as often as you want, there is always someone on this
thread every day, and we all have depression /anxiety/ worries
etc x

Hello everyone and welcome Jay and Jan, you will find great understanding here, with lovely people who support each other, and one in particular who keeps us all going (Annie xx)

Hi Doodle struggling a bit at the moment with daughter (thank you for asking). It will pass eventually.

Have a peaceful evening everyone, take care, stay safe and love to all xx Good night and God bless.

Jayt I have never been a social person. Always happiest just with my immediate family so I can understand not wanting to go out, but is this a new thing for you. Have you become more unsure recently?
maggie how have you been today?
annie I have finally had my haircut. My head feels much lighter ?

Hello Doodle not a good day for me but am hoping for better tomorrow thank you. Jayt welcome and yes you’ll find such support here. I wish there were answers for all of us but we can share how we feel and what we’ve learnt and that eases our individual burdens I think. Sleep well all x

Wellcome Jan16, Jayt..

Evening all not much to say.

Doodle had my hair cut feels 100% better feel a bit more human now.. I was very nervous but it’s done now ?
Wishing you all a peaceful night sleep ? ?

maggie sorry you’ve had a bad day.
I have some worries on my mind at the moment. They keep coming to the forefront of my mind in little waves. I pray to God for help and then try and think of something else.
joce I feel much better for my haircut too, ?
Hope everyone is ok. Sleep well all x

Morning all. I will definitely phone the surgery today as I feel unwell, tight chest and all. Obviously I think Covid but could well be a normal virus or infection. It shouldn't be the dreaded virus as I haven't been anywhere apart from some beer gardens. Will update later x

Anniebach, Doodle , lavenderzen, MaggieTulliver thank you for welcoming me to your group. Anniebach, I think that having been on one drug or another for so long my natural personality has been suppressed. Before I was fifty I was quite bubbly and talkative but now I don’t seem to have a sense of fun any more. Doodle, I never feel I fit in. I am suspicious of people and believe that if I stay away from social events I can’t do anything to offend anyone. Before I was married I lived in the country and had never come across the vicious gossip of a village like the one my DH lived in and where I went to live with him. I can’t seem to commit to anything because it’s too much effort. I’ve always tried to be “a glass half full” person but it’s becoming harder to think that way. The doctor upped my medication a couple of weeks back and while that has taken the edge off my depression it’s a bit like being in a colourless place with muffled sound. I need to fight my way back up towards the light!

Been to the surgery, phoned at 8 seen at 8.45, temperature taken, oxygen levels taken, chest listened to plus a reassuring chat with a friendly doctor. He prescribed antibiotics for a possible light chest infection, obviously as always if symptoms worsen get in touch again. Would you believe I can breathe better already!

Morning All. I’ve no idea why I have this feeling of dread. I have basically no discernible things to worry about. Nice house no money worries 2 lovely grown up daughters. It started again 2 months ago when my husband became ill and was admitted to hospital with pneumonia and clots on the lungs. He has made a very good recovery and I don’t think his illness is what is causing this depression. At the moment I can’t see any way out of it and feel as if I will be stuck in it forever. Sorry - talk about feeling sorry for myself!!! x

Hi all x

BlueSky so glad you saw your GP, sensible decision, and I am relieved that you are relieved of your fears, hugs x

Thanks Annie I've suffered with terrible health anxiety in the past, and I would keep the worry to myself checking the health encyclopaedia instead of going to the doctor at the first opportunity. Now that's what I do and it seems to help. Hope you'll all have a peaceful day x

Jayt anti depressants can have that effect but please don’t
stop them without medical advice and support.

Don’t want to ask too many questions but trying to understand, your suspicion of people, is this a recent feeling or did your bullying boss kick it off ? Any problems with someone in your village?

That feeling of not wanting to commit to anything could be
part of the depression. I really do understand when you say
‘I don’t know the real me anymore’, 3 1/2 years ago things happened in my life and I thought ‘ I have lost me’ , took me
a while to accept life moves on, it brings changes and we have
to adapt to them.

Give a little more time with the medication, if you still feel
the same talk to your GP, and do talk with us here when ever
you want / need too. X

Jan it is possible your husband’s illness has caused the feeling of dread, you must have been so fearful when he was
so ill . Please never apologise here for sharing your feelings ,
worries or problems, you have nothing to apologise for x

BlueSky and all friends here, please don’t google for an
answer to health problems, a skin problem - google - you have
leprosy ! If concerned seek medical Advice from your surgery.

A few years ago I googled and had M.S. as does one of my sisters, wrong I had muscle wastage caused by arthritis !

All my friends, my younger granddaughter just messaged me,
she is coming today, yes I am a very happy bunny

Morning all (a late one ?)
bluesky so glad you have been to see the Doctor and got yourself sorted out. I am a firm believer in going to the GP with problems as soon as you notice them. Hope the antibiotics help.
jayt I think how you get on with people depends a lot on who you meet. As I said I am not particularly social. I will talk to anyone I meet and smile at everyone but the only people I really get on with are those for whom family and loved ones are the most important thing. If you are mixing with people that you don’t have a common interest with then it unlikely you will be that friendly with them. Also moving to a village where your DH has lived for a while you could be seen as the newcomer. Is it possible you and your DH could move somewhere else and have a fresh start together?
jan16 I too, like annie think you could well have been more affected by your DHs illness than you think. It was a shock and a worry. The fact that he’s better does not take the worry away instantly. You need to gain confidence again.
annie how is your DGD doing, is she still having those awful nightmares?
Have a calm day all x

Just seen your last post annie. So pleased your DGD is coming ?

Yes Doodle and Annie that's the only way to beat health anxiety, don't ask dr Google as you usually get the worst case scenario. See the GP and if your fears are confirmed the sooner something is done the better, if you were worrying unnecessarily all the better. Glad your granddaughter will be visiting Annie just what the doctor ordered!

Doodle my elder granddaughter is having the nightmares, I
haven’t heard from her for a few days she started back at work
last week after being furloughed, she works for a legal firm and
seems property sales are certainly on the move. I have always given the three grandchildren Bach Flowers Remedies, exams , worries etc, she told me about the nightmares and wanted a
remedy, hope it’s helping her. She will tell me if not.

My younger granddaughter / boss / self appointed carer is
coming today, a mini tornado ?

Annie so pleased to hear your granddaughter is on her way. I laughed at your description of her - that is so lovely - "mini tornado" - she will sort things out xx