BLACK DOG 8

So sorry you had such problems nonnie , the reason for
Batty started Black Dog was for all to support all .

May I ask you how your husband coped with your suicide attempt ? did he feel guilt, did he question if he could have done more to support you through the times you were overloaded with the troubles of others ?

Hi all.
Annie we have noticed already that the number of slots available for food deliveries has reduced significantly so we will be making sure we remember to order the things we need regularly and not leave them till ‘next time’. We have seen one son recently and hope to see the other and his family before Thursday. My neighbour and I will go back to phone conversations rather than meet for a coffee. Other than that, we will continue as usual I think. At least in this lockdown the shielded are allowed out for exercise so we will be doing our daily walk, weather permitting.
How are you feeling today?
Chrissy don’t forget to keep those feet up. Have you spoken to the GP about it?
Nonnie that wool is fine. It will take you longer to knit it. I love the idea of your old pattern ?
I am so sorry you have had such trauma in your life. I am glad you feel in a much better place now. Good to know you got through it.
Take care all and have a good day x

Morning all x trying to ignore the ‘whatifs’, I think I’m getting better at this.
I never understood why the shielded were prevented from taking outdoor exercise first time around. Obviously in a quiet area even if it meant driving there, I’m sure there's been a lot of extra anxiety and depression due to this in the past 6 months.
Nonnie and Annie you’ve had so much to cope with, sadly some people have much more than their fair share.
Before the pandemic I could do my online order anytime up to a couple of days before delivery, but since I’ve had to place my usual order a week before as soon as slots are available.
Hope you’ll all have a peaceful day x

Doodle booking slots is difficult, I don’t have that stress because I have the unmentionables delivery from the chemist
every month. I have no one to cook for, just have to make sure
I have dog food and soap .

I would love to have a treadmill thing for walking, not running ! so I can strengthen my leg muscles.

BlueSky keep tying to ignore the whatifs, they cause anxiety
and depression. I so agree that those shielded should have been allowed to walk in quiet areas.

As for having troubles, I once in despair asked my priest who was also a close friend - ‘why me’, his reply “ why not you ?’,
this is so true, x

Afternoon everyone
Annie Our eldest daughter and son in law came to visit yesterday. They said it would probably be our last face to face meeting for quite a while. Unfortunately our other daughter and granddaughter couldn’t come over the weekend so we won’t get to see them until lockdown is over.
Nonnie I am so sorry to read about what you have been through. It was probably the fact that you’re a strong person that got you through it and out the other side.
Doodle I’m keeping my feet up as much as possible. Haven’t spoken to GP yet but will probably fill in the e-consult thing online and will hopefully get a call back.
BlueSky I’m not sure if we’re going to be allowed to drive a short distance for a walk. Last time in the beginning you could only walk in the vicinity of your home and then it got changed to you could drive somewhere for a walk. I hope that they clarify this. We love to walk along the seafront and it’s only a 10 minute drive away.
Annie I used to ask myself ‘why me’ when I was struggling badly then one day I asked myself ‘why not me’.
Hope everyone has a good afternoon x

Hello everyone.
I haven't caught up with posts or been on Gransnet for a while, and I don't suffer from the terrible anxiety and depression I did a few years ago.
That said....I have awful mood swings. And I fixate on something which is a regular cause for depression and low mood and the thoughts just go round and round in a spiral.
I know I'm lucky. I have a DH. I have two daughters (though neither of them live locally) and each has a child. Both daughters are struggling emotionally for various reasons - severe anxiety about health and the pandemic is a large part of it. I feel helpless because we can't go and stay to help out, nor take the children out/babysit.
When my mood is low I compare myself with others and feel I'm in a 'life competition' I cannot win. Deeply entrenched feelings of inferiority and low self esteem I still can't shake at 67 so probably won't now and have to live with them. Other people seem to make and keep friends easily and have great social circles, but my friends are few. I'd love to not care. I have plenty to be thankful for and yes, I am thankful. But depression makes one see the other side and view life differently, doesn't it? I feel selfish and self-absorbed and i don't want to be that person. Can anyone relate to any of this?

I am just sharing my feelings for what they're worth - I know acceptance is key to getting through this, but I do struggle with that too!
Hope everyone else is having a good day.

Incidentally....I wish there was a 'Mental Health' forum. We have Black Dog, but there are so many people suffering from mental health conditions and feeling alone and isolated. How does one start a forum? Is it up to admin?

Do you mean a Forum or a thread Rowantree?
Anyone can start a thread just go to the Full forums topic list below and select “create new discussion”.
Comparing yourself with others doesn’t help. You only see what others have outwardly. You don’t know what their lives are really like, what sorrows they have had or what anxieties they hide from the world.
Some people have many friends, others, like me, could count them on one hand. I stopped being bothered by what others had years ago. Things do not make you happy, people do. Not masses of people, just those who are close to you.
Have you been to the doctor to discuss this low mood? Don’t forget that with lockdown we are all having a bit of a wobble and what you’re feeling is being shared by many at the moment. Hope you feel better in yourself soon.
Chrissy glad you got to see one of your daughters yesterday.
I know it will be sad being in lockdown again but we will get through this.
Hope you get help with your swollen feet soon.
Annie If you really think it would help could you get a small treadmill ? Is there any equipment that the occupational therapy people have that they could suggest to you for building up muscles? I know there are things like a set of bike pedals that you can use whilst sitting in a chair.
Bluesky I have a serious case of the whatiferies today. I have a worry that’s working it’s way round my head. I need to get a grip. Hope you are doing better.

Hi Annie - how are you today. Glad the sun shone for you today,
Had a last cuppa with my daughter yesterday afternoon then it,ll be back to FaceTime again. Walking will be the highlight of the day - think we,ll have to go twice if we have the energy! My son who lives abroad Face timed today, I don’t know when I will see him again . It makes me sad but as long as he is safe and well I have to accept it.
I think you can get floor based equipment that you can use sitting down to strengthen your legs - that might be something you could do.
Take carex
Nonnie- what a strong lady you are to have overcome so much. I really believe that what we experience in our lives makes us who we are. Thank you for being there and your continuous support.
Bluesky - my sister is in remission from Myeloma and was shielding even before the last lockdown because of her treatment. She has so enjoyed being able to get out for walks this Summer so am glad she will still be able to do it now.
Doodle - you,re right about deliveries. In the first lockdown when we couldn,t get deliveries we used a farm shop delivery. The produce was lovely but very expensive but an absolute godsend. I expect they will get very busy again now!
Sorry you have an attack of the whatiferies -I hope that the worry you have is resolved soon . Those worries that go round and round wear you out don,t they.
Chrissy- yes I hope we can drive a little way sometimes to walk but if not will just do our regular walks. Luckily we are next to countryside. Have your feet improved with the elevating?
Hi Rowantree glad to meet you.
Love to allxx

I’m down to Earth with a bump tonight. Family worries again. Will it ever end I wonder. How is everyone else doing?

I have just posted on the Site stuff forum after reading Rowantree's posts asking for a new and separate forum on Mental health,

If you support this request to GNHQ please add a post to the discussion thread I have started on the Site stuff forum.

Doodle sorry to hear that, no family worries are never far away sadly.
Hope you’ll manage to get some rest.
Goodnight all x

Hello all, well at last it seem The sun has put his hat on... hope it help to cheer us all a little..
Love and hugs to all ?

Good morning all
Hope you are ok Annie.
Joyce you are here, lovely to see you and yes the sun is out here today also.
Doodle I am so sorry to hear worries are on your shoulders again. Keep strong.
Nonnie you have had much to deal with in your life, sending love.
How are you Scaredycat and Chrissy hope your feet are better. Bluesky hope you are ok.
Have a restful day everyone, try not to wobble, we have to keep going.
A little walk with my four legged friend later.
Take care everyone and stay safe, love to all xx

Thanks Annie I really don't know how any of my family coped. I was so ill I don't think I cared. It must have been very hard for them all and I wouldn't have come through without them. While I was in hospital my sister died and I couldn't go to her funeral but I was grateful to a local vicar that the hospital brought in to sit with me and go through a service for her at the same time. There really are some lovely people in the world.

DH has quite a small device for cycling while sitting in a chair, can't remember what it is called but you could look on Google. Think it was about £30. Good for the knees.

Rowantree I'm so glad you shared that with us all. We understand that mixture of feelings. Please stay here and see if it helps you. You are better than you were which helps everyone to see that it is possible. Thanks.

Doodle & all we have booked the next 2 supermarket delivery slots because I heard they are difficult to get. Perhaps we should all do that?

BlueSky I always tried to teach my children that life isn't fair. I really don't believe we always get what we deserve.

Doodle so sorry to hear this is still ongoing. I think we would all rather take the trouble on ourselves rather than see the family struggle. Hug x

Joce good to see you back, you have been on the minds of us.

Thank you all for the kind messages. I hope my post has made you realise that things can get better and we can come through the darkest times. Not going to list all mine but I have had far too many and I am still here, I still have lovely family and friends and days when I feel positive. Hope for us all.

Feeling tearful today but not really down, what a contradiction!

Just seen this on Facebook, hope you can all open it. Just what I needed today:

www.facebook.com/ClassicFM/videos/3814116951965904

Hi all x

Joyce glad you have sunshine, send some to Mid Wales, just a few sun beams x

Doodle you are in my prayers x

nonnie thank you, things don’t change when it comes to mental illness in some families, my siblings like your family have never spoken of the effects of suicide , as if it never happened.

scaredycat thank you, I can’t use those pedal things whilst
sitting on a chair, can’t bend my knee, wish I had someone to
walk the front path with me. The physiotherapist was no help
when she said ‘if you fall someone will look through their window and see you’. !

Morning everyone
I had a really bad headache last night, seems to have gone this morning thank goodness.
Welcome Rowantree I hope you find it helpful here, it has definitely helped me, such lovely people always ready to support. I’m very similar to you, I’m also 67 with a husband, 2 daughters and 1 granddaughter. I suffer with very low self esteem and have very few friends. I’ve been treated for mental health problems for 40 years and have tried lots of treatments over the years, I’ve just started acupuncture and it’s very early to know if it’s helping but I do think that I am actually feeling slightly better. We shouldn’t really compare ourselves with others as we’re all very different but I do know how hard it is not to do that.
Doodle Hope your case of the whatiferies has lessened today. I’ve just seen that you have family worries, I hope that whatever it is is sorted out soon. I filled in the econsult form to ask if I could see a GP about my feet and received a reply saying that a GP had looked at it and they said that I needed to see a GP so I should phone the surgery to make an appointment. I phoned and the receptionist said that the first available appointment was the 18 Nov. I asked what time and she said pm. I said I needed to have a time and she said she didn’t know exactly what time the GP would phone. Apparently it is just for a phone consultation, you couldn’t make it up could you!
Scaredycat I’m glad that your sister will still be able to get out for a walk every day, I’m sure that it must be very important to her. I really hope that we are allowed a short drive away for exercise but if not, like you, we’ll have to walk round the area near home. How lovely that you have countryside on your doorstep. My feet still the same unfortunately. I posted about it in my reply to Doodle.
lavenderzen Enjoy your walk with your four-legged friend. Weather is lovely here, hope it’s the same where you are for your walk.
Joce Good to see you again, I hope you’re ok.
Nonnie Goodness, you’ve been through so much. Your sister dying while you were so ill must have been extremely hard for you. I’m glad that you have family and friends to support you. Sorry you’re feeling tearful today, I hope you feel better soon. That clip you posted the link to is brilliant.
Hi to Annie BlueSky and anyone else I’ve missed.
Have a good day everyone x

Annie You posted while I was typing my post. I’m sorry that there isn’t anyone who could have a little walk with you. Not a helpful comment from your physiotherapist. I hope that the rest of your day is ok. x

Chrissy try having physiotherapy by telephone ! ?

Doctors have much to cope with now, they hold telephone appointments and then decide if physical examinations are needed . I understand how frustrating this is for you x

Morning all and welcome Rowantree.
Vienna, that was on my bucket list pre Covid....Paris we have been many times, same as Nice, same as Barcelona, same as London. Obviously it wasn’t our time yet.
Nonnie thanks for the video really uplifting at a time when we all need it!
Annie wish we were neighbours and I would walk your front path and beyond with you!
Scaredycat glad your sister is in remission, a walk in the open air must mean so much.
Lavender a walk with your four legged friend how lovely! Love watching the dogs when we are out walking.
Chrissy Doodle and all have a peaceful afternoon x

Good afternoon to you all - just got in from a very breezy but sunny walk.
Doodle- So sorry you have family worries again. I do hope it is something that can be sorted out soon. Look after yourself too.
Joce- so glad you are back. Hope you are ok.
Lavender- Hope you enjoy your walk this afternoon. I,m ok thanks- Wobbles are never far away but dealing with each day as it comes.
Nonnie- What a terrible time that was for you and your family. It must have been heartbreaking to lose your sister too. Looking back on past tragedies it is truly amazing how we have all coped.
I didn,t suffer from anxiety until much later when everything caught up with me. I can,t cry which is very difficult but I cry on the inside.
You are a wonderful example to us all. Hoping today gets better for youx
Annie- hope one of those sunbeams is shining on you! It’s so sad when families do not talk about things that are difficult to deal with. Talking really is the best therapy. We have quite a few mental health problems in my family but my sister and I have always been able to share our worries.
I think that physiotherapist needs to work on her people skills -as for telephone physio you couldn’t make it up!!
Chrissy - sorry you will have to wait so long for a consultation . As Annie said the Doctors are really busy - our Doctors get through about 175 calls a day. Fingers crossed your feet might be better by then !,
Bluesky- I hope you get to Vienna one day -it looks very beautiful. Venice is my favourite city - we were there last November in the floods and it was as beautiful as ever. I hope one day we can travel safely again.
Bye everyone and take carexxx

Scaredycat I can understand and share not being able to cry
but cry inside. It’s good you can share feelings with your sister,I miss mine but have learned to accept they are not there
for me, very difficult because the four of us were always very
close. They even cut off from my grandchildren.

I would love to go to Venice, never will, I did love Paris and have always wanted to go to the Holy Land , but I do have a
stone from Bethlehem and a stone from Jerusalem.

Annie- I do feel for you that you get no comfort from your sisters. When my sister was so very ill last year and over last Xmas I was so scared I would lose her. She lives a long way from me but we speak on FaceTime every week and I thank God she is here. To cut off children is very hard to understand.
Yes wouldn,t it be wonderful to visit the Holy land - at least you have the stones. What tales they could tell.

Have a peaceful evening everyone and a good nights sleep. Take care, stay safe, love to all xx