BLACK DOG 9

Hi all x

nanny so good to know your husband is home from hospital. And congratulations on the birth of your granddaughter x

nonnie when I spoke of your dark times I was speaking of your attempted suicide. I have never read any ‘sort of competitiveness’ on Black Dog. The occupational therapist will give advise on the wheelchair.

How is everyone?

nanny two pieces of good news. Your DH home at last and a new granddaughter. How lovely. ?
Hope your DH is feeling better now and well on the road to recovery.
Nonnie you are wise to remember this is an open forum so some things need to be kept quiet. I hope that by now you realise that we probably would believe what you say. I am sorry that things have happened to you that have brought you to some bad and low points. I am glad you can share your happier times and positive thoughts with us though.

Annie are you still having your daily cup of tea with your visitors?
I’ve had a busy day sorting out cupboards and tidying. DH and I went for a walk today for the first time since before Christmas. It was lovely to be out. Not too cold and we didn’t stay out too long as I don’t want DH to put too much pressure on his back yet but it was a start.
Hope everyone is ok. Take care all x

Thanks Doodle you are very empathetic.

Annie are you expecting to have a new knee sometime?

Went for quite a long walk yesterday. Interesting that walking down roads we have never driven down we found unexpected alleyways and ended up walking along some unexpected water. Never done that before. Everyone was so careful to move out of each other's way and smile. I read such horrid things on SM but fortunately don't meet them here.

Hi all x

How is everyone today ?

nonnie it’s good you enjoyed your walk yesterday. I am not
having a knee replacement, a friend was given a date for a hip
replacement last April, it was cancelled and she has been told not to expect it to be done this year. Unless things suddenly change I will have to wait several years , so no, feel swamped by the support from the enablement team even though they are really nice people. Perhaps I would think differently if I had family near.

Hi everyone
Rafichagran- good to hear from you. Hope you are ok.
Nanny- glad DH is safely home again and hope any teething troubles are soon ironed out. What lovely news about your new Grandaughter- Congrstulations to you and your family and hope you will soon be able to cuddle her.
Doodle- Glad to hear you have at last been able to get out for a walk. It was so much warmer here yesterday and hope it was for you too. Yes it’s better to do a litttle to start with then add a bit every day. I was very ill 4 years ago and it took me a year to get my fitness back.
Nonnie- you had a walk too - we were all out yesterday!! It sounds an interesting area where you live and nice people as well.
Annie- I ,m ok thanks and hope your vertigo has eased now.
Face timed with my son this morning haven’t seen him for over a year and don,t know when I will as he lives abroad.
I expect it is a bit overwhelming to suddenly have people in and out of your house but hopefully they will be able to put in place things to help you.
Love to all in BDG x

Evening all.
We went for another walk today. I think it was too much as DHs back was hurting when we got home. I think we need to take it more slowly. I made some scones before we went out . They turned out well. Scones jam and cream are DHs favourite.
Nonnie I do like exploring. I love going along roads where all the houses are different and looking at peoples gardens and the trees. We are lucky to live near the river so we get to see a lot of geese, ducks and a few swans. Lots of gulls at the moment too.
Glad you enjoyed your walk.
Annie I think many would feel the same in your situation. We get used to a quiet life and anything out of the norm can make us feel overwhelmed. I am never settled on a day when I’m waiting for a food delivery and that’s nothing compared with what you’ve been through recently.
I was thinking of you when out walking as I saw some snowdrops by the side of the road. I took a photo for you.
Scaredycat good advice about the exercise. I think we over did it today. Glad you had a chat with your son. At least we do have things like FaceTime now so at least you can see each other.
Take care all x

Hi all x

Scardeycat FaceTime with you son must have much comfort and joy to you. I haven’t seen my younger daughter for over a year and she lives in England, we talk on FaceTime too.

Doodle yes I am overwhelmed, moved from seeing my mini tornado to many people calling in a week, found myself longing for the isolation over the last four years .

Loved the snowdrops, thank you ?

Annie that is a shame, DH has been told he might have to wait a year but at least he has something to look forward to. 'Several years' is a long time to wait but I hope you are at least on the list.

Scardycat same here, lots of video calls with DS and family but no idea when we will see them face to face. This morning he said they would be happy for their holiday to just be with us in our home, no need to book anywhere else.

Doodle do you find it a bit frustrating to walk with DH? I enjoy walking with mine but wish it was brisker but he just can't manage it.

Yes, never before 'explored' nearby, always gone off to a park or similar but, as you say, it is interesting to go into the side roads and see how different (and quiet) they are.

Woke up with plans for a good long walk but seem to have lost the incentive now, feeling weepy so won't bother.

I now want to go back to my agoraphobic life, I now have 11 people a week telling me how I should be living my life

That's a shame annie. You have been used to being on your own for so long that it must be difficult with all these people coming and going. The best way to deal with it I think is to accept that they are doing this to help you cope in the long run. Just take it a day at a time and enjoy the time between visits to enjoy your own company. Take care

Thank you polomint I am grateful for the support but so difficult when so many give different advice. Example -

yesterday the enabler said - don’t try walking yet if no one with you. Today different enabler - walk often .

Have come to know a neighbour she calls in every day, I spoke
of getting out on my wheelchair it will be nice to meet others in the Cul de Sac, her reply ? Don’t bother with her in that bungalow, him in that bungalow,she went around naming 16 bungalows and seems only three are nice people !

Oh dear, she herself doesn't sound much fun. I take people as I find them. Sometimes your hear someone is not very nice but when you meet them yourself, you think the opposite.
As to the advice about walking... my husband is in the same boat. He has broken hip since last June. Some physios are saying walk and some are saying rest . He has a Zimmer so we are just trying to do what causes him less pain

Thank you again polomint I too take people as I find them.
Your poor husband, such pain, i have been coping for quite sometime with much pain, I managed, had to. It’s the conflicting advise which has got to me and setting a time table!
Arthritis doesn’t recognise timetables ?

Hello all
Doodle- Ah sorry yourDH had a painful back after your walk but it was his first exercise in a long time. Slow and steady is the way to go. It must be so nice to have a river to walk to. I love the water. Delivery day always unsettles me too by the time everything is sprayed and put away I,m worn out!Shopping never made me feel like that!!! Yes lovely to see my son- it was so hard before FT. Love the snowdrops- happy little flowers.?
Annie- the people who come to help you have no idea how you feel but I,m sure they hav3 your welfare at heart. Are they always the same people as it would help to make you feel more comfortable with them. I remember when my Mil had carers all you could hear was laughing from her room. Are you able to use a Zimmer at all?
It’s kind of your neighbour to pop in to see you although she doesn,t sound a barrel of laughs!! I,m sure when you get to see your other neighbours you will make up your own mind who you like- they might be lovely.
Yes Face Time has been wonderful. I was so sad when my son moved,many years ago now , but now being able to see his face and home and Dil - even the dogs has made such a difference.
Nonnie- how lovely that your family will come for a holiday as soon as they can- fingers crossed it won,t be too long now.
Sorry you didn,t get your walk today and hope you soon feel better. Those feelings creep up on you and knock you for six don’t they.
I,ve not been out today either as the Afib has been a nuisance and I,m exhausted. Hope we both get out again tomorrow!
Love to allx

ah doodle i love a good wander I will often troop down well walked paths to see where they lead. I,m lucky I can take the dogs with me. Thank you all for your kind words re DH and new GD. I have my 2nd covid jab on 5th march I will go and see them about a week later hopefully. They are 250 miles away sadly. I hope everyone is doing ok. xxxx

Nonnie I have been accused of pulling DH along a bit but as my knees are not too good I can’t go to fast myself,
So sorry you feel sad. Not a nice feeling. Hope you feel brighter tomorrow.
Annie it must seem like central station with all those people coming in. I expect many of them want to give your their “expert” advice. I’m sure they mean well.
Shame your neighbour who pops in feels it necessary to say unpleasant things about others, I would make my own mind up if I were you.
polo sorry your DH has a problem walking too. My DH fell down stairs and broke 6 ribs before Christmas. In theory there’s nothing to stop him walking well other than the ache in his muscles. A broken hip much be much more difficult to cope with. I hope the Zimmer frame helps.
scaredycat , you are right slow and steady is the way to go, we have given the walk a miss today to rest DHs back. Might go again tomorrow.
Sorry to hear your Afib has been playing up again. It seems to have been better recently or is that just that you haven’t mentioned it?
Nanny how is your DH now. Is he feeling better?
Shame your new DGD is such a long way away. Do you get sent photos?
Take care all and sleep well. X

Thanks doodle. No it's not easy at the moment. They couldnt do a hip replacement in june due to his heart problems and hoped it could heal reasonably well if left, but at last appointment it seems it will never heal so he just has to muddle along as best he can. Sometimes in a lot of pain and sometimes not. Hopefully by summer he may try and venture out to the garden in some way but we have 2 steps down. However, I'm not looking too far ahead

annie just think how all of it is exercising your brain! Thinking about my young friend with the baby (the one who had CV-19) she has so much information now that it is a mixed blessing and she has to sort the wheat from the chaff. You are in the same situation. Just pick the bits you like and ignore the others. I do that about whether foods are good to eat eg avocados, full of calories or good for cholesterol, red wine, good for the heart or alcohol is bad for you? I like both so easy to choose which one to believe.

polomint I agree, I would go further and be cautious about a person you hardly know who says such things about others. What will she say to them about you?

Hope your DH's hip settles eventually.

Scardycat sorry to read thatthe Afib has been playing up again, hope you have a better day today.

nanny good to read you have a date for your second vaccination, wish we had one too. Hope the rules will allow you to travel that distance by then.

Doodle seems like a few of us have DHs unable to brisk walk. Mine wants to do the 10,000 steps a day thing whereas I would prefer to do less but get my heart rate up. Yet another thing we don't have in common but it works for us.

Small achievement today - passport office accepted my photo online and then decided they didn't like it. Quite hard to find a plain white background in bright daylight but finally achieved it this morning and have had an email to say its been accepted. Having family outside the UK I hate the idea of being without a passport so will be glad when it arrives.

Positives - booked for the cricket in June and also theatre tickets. Now that really is optimism!

Good afternoon
Polo- your DH has a lot to put up with- such discomfort and very tiring I should imagine. Would it be possible to make your steps into a little slope so he could make it into the garden?
Doodle- hope you managed to get out today - it’s sunny here now. I don’t always say when I have Afib as it happens quite often but yesterday was a long one It’s the unpredictability of it that makes me so anxious. However today we have had a nice long walk and I feel ok .
Nonnie- my DH is the faster one of us so he has to slow down a bit for me. It hasn’t always been so but the last few years have slowed me down - I think I,m a marathon Walker not a
sprinter!!!
Well done with the passport office- you,ll feel much happier once you get your new one and are able,when we can, to travel again.
I too have a positive- we have booked a holiday cottage for later in the year?? they are getting booked up very fast.
Annie hope you are ok today.
Love to allx

polomint I’m sorry your DHs hip sounds quite bad. My mother had bad hips and should have had them replaced but she was unable to have any form of anaesthetic so it wasn’t an option.
Nonnie glad you got your photo accepted. Do you remember when we used to have those little photo booths where we had photos taken for passports and with friends when we were mucking about. ?
Good for you. Booking something to look forward to.
Scaredycat it’s lovely and sunny here but very cold. We aren’t going out today as DH’s back hurts and I hurt my stomach lifting something this morning. It’s getting easier but still painful. Glad you’ve had a long walk though. That will be good, hope the Afib settles for a while.
Holiday cottage sounds nice. We have to have Hope.
Annie how are you today. Any visitors?

scardycat glad you had a better day and well done for the optimism of booking a holiday. Pray it happens.

Doodle the website offers you the chance to have photo taken professionally but I wouldn't know where to start at the moment. I doubt they are open. Yes, I remember being very silly in one of those booths, last wedding we went to had one and lots of silly hats and scarves to wear.

Slept well last night but this morning seen something very emotional on Facebook which has made me sad.

Nonnie DH took my passport photo for me. Fortunately we had a plain wall to take it against. I think our first effort was rejected too.
Hope the thing that’s upset you on Facebook wasn’t anything personal to you.
I get upset reading things in the papers sometimes. All the sad and worrying things happening in the world.
Annie how are you today? We’ve just come back from a walk. Saw some lovely yellow crocuses and some really tiny daffodils. They were about 4 inches tall but perfect little shaped flowers.
Hope all the BDG are doing ok.

Hi all x

Sorry not posted, had awful shock yesterday morning , may I
explain and value your understanding?

I have a visit every morning from someone from the enablement team, am given a list at start of the week with name and time of the person visiting.

Yesterday morning a man walked into my living room, very tall, arms covered in tattoos, gosh he frightened me, then he pulled an apron from his pocket , he was from the team, the women always come in wearing their gear , I was expecting a
woman yesterday. Imagine sitting on your sofa and a six foot man in a tee-shirt walks in .!

Hope everyone is coping x

What a shock annie! I would have got the fright if my life. Glad he was from your team but no e the less, you should have been fore warned