BLACK DOG 9

scardycat DH started cooking when I broke my ankle and has continued, he gets better and better and now enjoys experimenting. Still not confident to cook for big family occasions and sometimes cheats a bit but improves all the time. I have to stay out of the kitchen though .

annie it was a lot colder than I expected but I felt very warm at the end.

That is such positive news about the wheelchair! I am so happy for you. Good that you will have some support to get you out to use it. I know it has been a pain having so many people around so much but it looks as if some of it is paying off. What is the wait time for the chair?

doodle thought of you last night when I watched the news, Fiona Bruce's hair has started flicking up, you've started a trend .

I'm exercising too, working on my bingo wings! Planking doesn't help them but really feeling it in the stomach muscles so going to carry on. DS has given me some cliniband exercises too.

Yesterday's walk was on my own so I could really walk briskly and it felt so good. My phone gives me lots of information and I could see that I walked about as far as with DH but did a lot fewer steps because it was faster. I think fewer faster steps is better for my heart but DH wouldn't go out for a walk unless I went with him so have to do both.

Just had a staring competition through the window with one of our neighbours cats! She comes round and peers at me every day, seems to have got fatter during lockdown but perhaps it is an eating competition between her and the newer Siamese or maybe the children are feeding her more during homeschooling.

Gardening back on hold until it gets a bit warmer!

Hi all x

How is everyone?

nonnie having so many people around was of no help in getting the wheelchair, I chose it, paid for it ,after sending a link to the occupational therapist by email for her opinion , she offered support with going out on it.

I do not need to be asked every morning, have you washed, have you eaten breakfast, have you taken your medication,
I am not on medication. They write in a file every morning, a file left with me, first line -‘ arrived 00.00pm, Annie sitting on
sofa,’ do they expect to find me out in the garden ? They are
enablers who are to help me get leg muscles stronger, not carers.

Must tell all - I haven’t bought an electric wheelchair, seems I have bought - - - - a Power Chair ?, can I be done for speeding ? It does 6mph

I posted a while back about my sleep problems. In the wee small hours of last Tuesday, after three successive sleepless nights and heading for a fourth, I fell asleep. And slept, and slept, and slept. All through Tuesday and well into the small hours of Wednesday. I finally got up at 3am on Wednesday and stayed up until 9pm, when I went to bed and had a normal sleep. Thursday night was sleepless again. I slept fitfully on Friday, and then on Saturday night I had a total crash and burn, alternately sleeping and crying, feeling totally rotten, a failure, a waste of space. I was like that all through Sunday. I did sleep but it was impossible for me to tell where the boundary between sleeping and crying was, and I kept looking wistfully towards the nearby canal and railway line. By Monday evening I was feeling a bit less desperate and today I'm ok, just subdued and rather punch drunk.

There is so much crud in my head, and when it gushes to the surface it won't be reasoned with or pacified. I'm on Venlafaxine, 75mg twice a day, and I know that Venla affects sleep (if I miss a day I have the most amazing epic dreams, if I miss two then my head blows up, but that's not what happened this time) and it keeps me in line most of the time, but there are always the occasional crashes.

Is it lockdown? No, it happens now and then and my friends know how to anticipate it and support me gently. Is it something I have to live with or can anything be done? I'd have therapy but I can't afford it on my pension.

LadyHonoria so sorry you are struggling with so much.

Venaflexine can affect sleep. Have you spoken to your GP recently ?

Lockdown and all the talk of the virus is affecting many,many
people , people who never had problems with anxiety and depression have developed problems with both.

You speak of looking at the canal and railway line, do telephone a helpline when this happens, MIND and NoPanic
lines are open every day, the Samaritans open 24 hours 7 days
a week.

Regarding your need for therapy, check with your local MIND,
and with your GP, because of lockdown face to face therapy seems out but possibly you may find you can have therapy on
FaceTime, please ask.

Talk here with us whenever you wish, we all understand and there is always someone posting every day, do share here m
it will pass , I understand the wanting it to pass today, but pass
it will , please stay in touch with us x

Hello!
Nonnie - I really admire your exercise efforts- I couldn’t plank if you paid me!! I do like brisk walking though as does DH. Being able to read the phone stats is always interesting although sometimes I think I must have walked further than it says!!!
Ha ha my old cat had a face off through the window with a
furry visitor the other day. He made grumpy growling noises and fuzzed his tail up like a toilet brush!
Annie - brilliant news about the wheelchair and hope it’s delivered soon. Glad you will have support when you start to use it. Power Chair sounds very exciting- you,ll be giving Lewis Hamilton a run for his money! It will be like growing wings gaining your freedom again. MT will be pleased to hear the news I bet. Take carex
Lady Honoria - you must be exhausted. I,m glad you have supportiv3 friends. We are all here for you.
Doodle - hope you are ok today
Take care allx

Hello all been for a lovely walk today, made me think of you Anne I have never seen as many snowdrop in one place they were so beautiful.
Hope everyone in the BDGs are doing ok today...

Annie this was a very small area of them. They went on and on and on ...

Joyce beautiful ? x

Nonnie do you also have to stay out of the kitchen when it’s time to do the washing up? ?
I must do some exercises too. I have become so slack (in all senses of the word) since lockdown started.
Why don’t you do a combination walk. Go out with DH then drop him off at home and do a bit more on your own at speed.
Annie a Power chair no less. ? Wow. I hope it works well for you.
I do wonder what your enablers think you are capable of if they need to write you are sitting on the sofa. With your health problems are they expecting cartwheels across the lounge floor?
When is your vehicle coming, do you know?
LadyH you sound as though you have been through a rough time recently.
Is there nothing your Gp can do to help you get therapy. I know some therapies are available online or via the NHS. Is it worth checking them out? Please listen to Annie’s advice and reach out for help if you need it. Hope you sleep tonight and perhaps feel a little brighter tomorrow.
Scaredycat if I attempted a plank it would be more like a seesaw with arms and legs being supported by my tummy ?
That’s a wonderful vision you’ve given me of Annie roaring round the racing track with the rest of the F1 team trailing behind ?. I bought some antihistamine eye drops from the chemist today. I don’t usually use them but decided I’d better give something a try.
Joce beautiful snowdrops. How lovely to see so many of them. I saw some tiny daffodils today and some crocuses. I love early spring flowers. Better weather is coming all.
Sleep well BDG x

Hi all x

How is everyone ?

nonnie waiting time for the power chair ! 12 - 14 days , wish it was 4 days.

Scaredycat I am thinking about the Paralympics !

Doodle hope the eye drops are helping .

My son in law suggested I name my power chair- Apollo after
Apollo13 , not amused

Haven’t posted a poem for ages, love reading this -

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed—and gazed—but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

Lovely poem annie, thanks for sharing
Brings back memories of learning this poem at school
Hope everyone has a pleasant day

It is a lovely poem polomint all of us must have learned it at
school x

Morning all x
Annie so pleased you’ve got your power chair. My MiL found it invaluable and gave her a new lease of life. Hope you’ll be able to enjoy it soon.
Sorry to say this but is anybody uncomfortable with the prospect of no social restrictions from June/July? Never thought I would feel like this. They made us into happy captives! I guess it’s just a temporary mood and we’ll be back into the swing of things soon enough.
Have a pleasant day x

LadyHD that sounds horrible. Have you talked to your GP about it? Maybe a different antidepressant would help. Please stay here and share how you feel if it is any help, many of us have sleep issues of one sort or another.

Sacardycat not as good as it sounds, I have always found planking and sit-ups easy but when it comes to sitting up straight in the yoga position or touching my toes I am useless no matter how hard or how long I try.

Wow Annie that is not long at all, need to sort out some outdoor clothes!

Yes, Bluesky I am even stressing about going into the sub-post office to get them to stamp a certificate of posting, done it all online but wonder if I should just put the package in the post box and not bother. I feel as if I should be more confident because I've had my first dose so am pretty safe but. What a dilemma, want a social life but .........................

Annie - so good to hear you looking forward to something - the time will soon pass in the meantime you can get into training!!! Your SiL has a good sense of humour- how about Pegasus for a name as it will give you wings.
That is such a lovely poem but I didn’t learn it at school - I just remember having to learn Shakespearean speeches?. A few years ago we visited Wordsworths childhood home in Cockermouth it was a really welcoming family house.
BlueSky - I was talking to my sister on Sunday and we both agreed that we have very mixed feelings about when the restrictions are lifted. Although longing for our normal lives we feel nervous about diving in again.
Nonnie- I never found sit ups easy even when I could do them! I think it’s brilliant you do them. I am flexible but AF makes me nervous about that sort of exercise.
You are another one who,is feeling apprehensive about end of restrictions - perhaps as they are being lifted gradually we will be ok. I just can’t imagine not being fearful everywhere as I am now. My daughter on the other hand cannot wait!!
Love to allx

Annie I love that poem. Daffodils are such beautiful flowers. So simple but such a sunny colour. I always feel spring is on the way when I see the daffodils. Ours in the garden are not open yet but will be soon.
I thought the image of you going round the track at Brands Hatch was scary enough let alone outer space ?.
My eyes are better today. Thank you.
polomint how are you today.
Bluesky you can always use your own judgment. DH and I are waiting for our second jabs, I can’t see us dashing out and hugging people for a while yet. It will be difficult to move on but we will get used to it in time just like we grew into lockdown.
Nonnie I’m not sure where my toes are. They are down there somewhere but as for bending down to see them .........?
You sound quite fit to me. I must exercise more.
Scaredycat hope you are ok and the AF hasn’t been a problem recently.
Good idea of a name for Annie’s chariot. ?

Damp and dismal here in Scotland which always depresses me doodle. I always feel more optimistic when sun is shining. Weather doesnt affect my husbands moods however. I twisted my back yesterday trying to put lead on our dog so am just limping around. It will be fine tomorrow I'm sure. Hope everyone has a pleasant day

Scardycat Pegasus is a great name for the chair, I expect Annie is mulling over all sorts and look forward to the final decision.

Had a long video call with DS this morning, he is booking things for the rest of the year. Every time the GCs are free from school he has something booked and is even booking for Christmas. Can't get more positive than that.

Doodle good to hear your eyes are improving, one of my GC has the same issue.

Polomint hope your back gets better quickly.

Hi all x

polomint hope your back pain has eased , as a fellow sufferer I know just how difficult it can be and how painful x

nonnie your son is certainly being positive x

Scaredycat you spoke of wings, reminded me that ages ago I posted the following ,I use it to support my grandchildren through exams etc

‘What if I fall ?
Oh my darling,
What if you fly’

Annie the what ifs so true.
Hope everyone has a good day..

Afternoon all.
Doodle - pleased your eyes are feeling better now. I,m ok thank you. The AF happens more frequently now but I just get on with it with the help of the meds. Had a lovely walk today but it was freezing - daffodils out here too.
Polomint - yes sunshine is the best medicine isn’t it. Hope your back pain is soon better.
Nonnie - your DS sounds like my daughter so full of positivity. I hope all his plans happen and that he and his family have lovely times together.
Annie - what an encouraging quotation- hopefully you will fly!!!! X
Joce - hope you have a good day too.
X to all

polomint it is true the sunshine always brings more hope.
Be glad your DH isn’t affected. At least you don’t have to cheer him up too. Sorry you’ve hurt your back, hope it gets easier soon.
Nonnie your son is really positive to book so many things. I hope they come to pass. It is good to have something to look forward to.
Annie I hope your new chair is the thing you need to boost going outside again. It will have to have a name I’m sure. How are you feeling in yourself now?
Joce are you ok?
Scaredycat I wonder if your AF will improve when we are out of lockdown and have a more freedom.
Eyes are better today.. We went for a walk but it was very cold. Couldn’t wait to get home and warm up.
Take care all. x

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Hi everyone, seems like there is hope out there for some of you.

I have too much time to think! On our walk yesterday, in a park, I noticed that it seemed to be harder to get a smile out of the younger people and also those walking alone. Those with dogs or toddlers were the smilyest.

Hi all x

nonnie having hope is essential , what else is there ?

What a morning, I forgot it was Friday, enabler arrived 10.30,
few minutes later electrician arrived to check the electrics, I had been informed of this on Monday! Then a neighbour arrived to help, bless him , he is rather deaf, dogs in garden
barking to come in.

Feeling so sad, my grandson’s birthday, he is now the same age as my husband was when he died. So many memories.

How is everyone?