BLACK DOG 9

Aww Annie bless you, sad but busy day for you. Hope you are feeling better this afternoon. Sending you hugs x

Doodle I’m plodding thank you for asking means a lot...?

Hope everyone’s having a pleasant day, thinking of you all..

Annie I was going to say I have no idea how you have coped with all that life has thrown at you but then I thought that perhaps your faith has somehow got you through. I know you are a believer but many who have suffered like you would have given up by now. I hope and pray that one day you will find peace and enjoy the company of all those you have lost.
Seems like you had a busy day. Your deaf neighbour sounds like a kind man. Nice of him to visit.
Nonnie there is hope out there for us all. Hope is all any of us live for I think. Don’t ever stop smiling at strangers. One day it may be the only thing that saves someone from despair.
I smile at everyone, even if they don’t smile back.
Take care all x

Joce plodding is ok. Sometimes we can run carefree, sometimes we get stuck in the mud but as long as we keep moving forward we are getting somewhere. Hope you have a good weekend. ?

Hi all x

How is everyone ?

Doodle I wonder how I got through some times, I have never lost my faith, been angry ? yes, but even in very dark and lonely times I know he is there, he said he would be.

My poem ! for today

Spring has sprung,

The grass as ris,

I wonder where the birdie is . ?

Annie you are right, we all need hope but sometimes it can be hard.

You sound busy, a real culture shock for you after being alone so much.

Well done you for never losing your faith. Not sure I quite lost mine but certainly came close to it for a time.

Hi Joce

Unmotivated today.

Me too Doodle. Sometimes you see a light shine in their eyes which makes me think they were surprised and pleased. DH gives a little wave instead. We can't see the harm and it may be doing some good.

Hi everyone.
Annie- Ah - a bitter sweet day for you yesterday. Hope you feel better today - you found a poem I had forgotten about and it made me smile. Thank you
I too still have Faith despite everything that has happened.
Doodle and Nonnie - sending you both a smile. Who knows one day we may pass each other unknowingly and smile. ?
Joce- hope you are having a good dayx
I,m struggling a bit with Health Anxiety at the moment. Once a worry seeds itself I find it difficult to let it go but had a long walk today and it helped to clear my head. The pandemic has given us too much time to think with not many distractions!!
Love to all

Hello all.. Annie hope you are having a better day today..

Doodle yes we must keep trying to move forward.. for now I’m happy to be plodding on, hard sometimes but keep got to keep going...

Nonnie it’s good to smile and be smiled at nothing wrong with a good smile always cheers me.. my lovely father in law never said bye always keep smiling love he made me so happy...

Scaredycat dam heath anxiety never leave me, just goes on and on and on... I’m just like that once that seed is set...
A good walk does the world of good if only for a sort while

Thinking of you all ?

Annie it is lovely out at the moment (well it’s cold but I was talking about budding spring). Little clumps of violets, tiny daffodils and their bigger cousins popping up everywhere.
Nonnie DH and I have encountered a man walking his dog on many of our walks for quite a while. We just smile at each other and walk on. Last week he asked how we were. Since then we have seen him twice more and now stop at a social distance for a little chat. All because of smiling at people. It makes such a difference.
Scaredycat what a nice gesture. I am sending a smile back to you too. Perhaps we could start a trend. Send a smile day ?
Glad your walk helped with your problems.
Joce sorry you too are still worrying about health issues. My bowel screening test came back as ok today which was nice news.
We all have worries that are hard to cope with. I tend to pray about mine. Don’t know what I’d do if I couldn’t do that.
Enjoy your weekend all x

Hi all x

Doodle how are your eyes ? So glad bowel tests are ok

Joyce yes hard but plodding on is the way

Scaredycat hold onto your faith, I once told a friend who was also a priest that I had been angry during my prayers , he
said - be angry, God can take it

Time for my enabler to come, will be back later , need to talk

Let’s listen to Doodle and ?

I agree annie with the priest. We can be angry at our earth fathers and they forgive us, so why not our heavenly father who loves and forgives us too.
Neighbours across from us yesterday spent all day scarifying their grass and had collected 5 bags of moss. I wish I had their energy
Have a pleasant day everyone

'Scardycat & Joce I think health anxiety must be horrible, there is so much information out there which must fuel your fears. No, nothing helpful I can say, just offering sympathy.

Although I agree about moving forward, sometimes I have to accept that I can't. If I rale against it I just feel worse so simply trying to accept the days when I achieve nothing.

Doodle that man may have no one else to speak to all day. You could be very important to him.

Glad your bowel screening result was good.

Polomint scarifying is very satisfying, we do it with an electric one though. I do most of our gardening, which is not much, just hacking and weeding but I have a thing about lawns and once you get them into good condition it is fairly easy to maintain it.

I did nothing yesterday, total lack of motivation. Don't feel better for it but don't feel worse either. Today I'm working on a project for DS so will feel useful. It is good to know the family still value my expertise.

Me too nonnie some days have no motivation at all. Sometimes think what's the point . I have been tracing my family tree for over 30 years and it's a hobby I enjoy but none of my family show the slightest interest. I have lots of all the family certificates, have arranged them all in folders etc and what for? When I finally leave this world all the work I've done on my tree will end up in the bin. Ivecsaved it all on computer files too. Then I wonder why did I spend so much time on it. All I can say is that I enjoyed doing it and maybe my grandchildren at some point in later life will be interested. Sorry to go on a bit. I was just thinking on motivation and how you need it to carry on but sometimes it's gone. Maybe tomorrow, as captain tom says, will be a good day

Just wondering today what has been the point of it all - have been thru so many things and now think what really was the point. Will get myself thru it I know. But getting weary of getting myself thru it. Not sure what people mean by 'get help'

Kestrel hello and welcome x

We can all relate to feeling weary, here we call it plodding on,
May I ask what help do you need ?

Please post here as often as you wish, we all understand x

Help - ways to not feel like an outsider all the time - how to get over traumatic events of the past which remain buried but unresolved - had thought of contacting helplines for each topic - bit hard during lockdown, no space to be on the phone privately. Thanks for your welcome Annie

Kestral if you don’t live alone then it is difficult to contact
helplines , is there a time in the day when you are on your own ?

I know how alone one can feel, do read posts here, something may relate to what’s causing you distress and do post as often as you wish, always someone here x

Hello all. Lovely and sunny here. Out for a walk soon
Annie my eyes are much better now thank you.
I am sure God can cope with our anger too.
Hope your enabler is someone nice today.
Polomint crumbs such energy. I feel quite lethargic most of the time. Difficult to do otherwise in lockdown I think.
Doing something because it interests you is fine. I make loads of quilt things that serve no purpose and just sit in a cupboard but I got pleasure in making them and felt I had achieved something after. As you say, perhaps one of the younger generation may be interested in your research.
Nonnie information can be taken in a number of ways. Looking up things you don’t have or checking symptoms and reading into it something worrying is not so helpful. On the other hand if you have been diagnosed with something, looking up things can bring some reassurance. When my DH was told 20+ years ago that he needed a triple heart bypass I thought that would be the end. That the chances of recovery were slim. I got hope from reading up on the internet to find a high percentage of people made a good recovery. Likewise when he had prostate cancer. I did my research after diagnosis not before. Sometimes it can be a good thing.
DH has done a lot of research about his blood cancer. He is happy it is being controlled. He knows what his results mean and is more reassured.
Glad your son still comes to you for help.?
Hello Kestrel (lovely name by the way) and welcome.
This is one place where you don’t have to feel like an outsider.
All are welcome on this thread and you are likely to find someone who feels like you do. Sorry you are struggling to get help.
Have you tried looking online for support for perhaps your main worry at the moment? We are nearing the end of lockdown so you should have more freedom to speak to people. Hope you get the help you are looking for soon.

Joce - hope you are ok today. H.A. Is a constant battle but as long as we keep on plodding on we,ll be ok.
Nonnie - thank you for your kind words - you are right there is too much information. I,m having a doing nothing day today- it doesn’t come naturally but I know I need to take it easy today. Just wish I didn,t feel so guilty when I don’t move much. Glad you have a project today your family value you very much I think.
Polomint- I know what you mean about what’s the point but when you think about it there doesn,t have to be one.Doing things we enjoy are what makes life worth living. That’s what is so awful about life at the moment most of the things we enjoy have been taken away . So just enjoy your family tree and anything else that helps. You,re right your grandchildren will probably be very interested one day.
Kestrel- Hello- you re not an outsider here.
Annie - Hope your enabler was pleasant and helped you today. Take carexx
Love to all

Hi all x

Forgive me but need to talk to you about - me.

I have had enough of the reenablement team, the purpose was
to assist and advise living comfortably at home with arthritis in both hips, knee, ankle, both hands and severe muscle wastage.

Someone visits every morning, I am given a list at the start of the week stating who will call, what time and the visit will be for 45 minutes.

At times the visit has lasted 15 minutes, rarely are those named
will be the person who turns up. With over 20 enablers who have called there is no continuity, example- I am to walk every morning extending the time every few days. Saturday a man
called, I was ready to do the walking , he said - no need if you
don’t want too, do what you want when you want. He also told me his friend has arthritis in his hands and treats it with - - -
WD40 ! ! ! ! He stayed 15 minutes. Yesterday a woman came, I
walked into kitchen and then walked towards the hall and front door, she said - no need to go into hall, well done and left after 20 minutes.

Sorry, clicked too soon.

My younger daughter is so angry, she and her husband are now going to pay for me to have a private support worker, how
can I be expected to walk and get use to the wheelchair in a 20 minute visit.

Rant over x

Aww dear Annie no no no!!! This is never right.. who put all this in place? And WHY is no one checking to see how you are doing.. more so what they are doing with you.. think I would be doing some asking shouting, what are they doing... sound very much like ( NOT A LOT ) ...
You do not have to allow this Annie...
I’m angry for you errrr xxx

You Rant away Annie this is so wrong on every level. They really should not be in that job if they can’t be bothered to do there job right...

Sorry Annie that made me smile WD40 wonder if he is related to Donald Trump.. Sorry x

Polomint I have friends who get totally absorbed in family history. Hopefully it will stay in the family for future generations to read. I hope it will only be the big items which will be thrown away.

Kestrel I do understand how you feel but just hang in there, be kind to yourself and wait. Are you able to go out for a walk, make eye contact and smile at someone? You might be the only thing which makes that person feel there is a point.

Perhaps those things will never be resolved? Accepting that is hard, I know from my own life, but when you eventually do is is like a weight being lifted.

Doodle quilting sounds very absorbing and hard to me, a simple knitter, with no other talents.

Yes, information can be used in different ways, some look at symptoms and have 3 out of 10 and think they have whatever it is, I look at them and only have 8 out of 10 so assume I don't have it. Both may be the wrong way to approach things.

Sometimes I think there is too much info out there, it must be very hard for new mothers these days with so much to wade through. I decided to check whether I was planking correctly and how to do press-ups (too much time to think ) and am now even more confused! In other situations reading up on things has been really useful.

scardycat yes, that is the hard part, the guilt but why? Years ago my consultant told me to stop thinking I 'should' but it is much easier said than done.

Annie rant away, that's why we are here. Sounds like too many jobsworths. Why can't they operate on some of the joints? Not now, when the hospitals are back to normal. I read that when we take up new exercise we should do it every other day to allow the muscles to recover, could you try that? Just add a couple of extra steps each time if you feel up to it. DH hurt after he started walking further but it hurts less now than it did, although he still needs a new knee. Of course it is different for each person and you have probably heard it all before.

nonnie I haven’t taken up new exercises, I am trying to keep
walking as I have with years of arthritis but now it is attacking
more joints , there are no ‘ new exercises ‘ .