BLACK DOG 9

That should be BDG.. ??

Happy Easter Sunday all.
I am about to make coffee and have some chocolate. I gave it up for lent so really looking forward to it.
Nice walk to day, sunny but chilly.
Thanks Scaredycat yes I enjoyed visiting both our sons and their families. They have all grown so much this last year. I feel we have missed out somewhere.
Hello polo. Nice to have some sun and get out in the garden. How does your DH cope with the garden, is yours reasonably flat?
Nonnie little ones so love the beach don’t they. A bucket and spade and they are happy for hours ?
Joce happy Easter to you too. Hope you are ok.
Annie I watched a lovely service from Canterbury today. Filmed from inside the Cathedral. It was beautiful. Lovely stained glass. Really enjoyed it, and the singing. How have you been?

Good morning all. Hope you all managed some joy yesterday, we did. We managed to speak to all the close family in one day. OK mostly online but that was good.

Yesterday it was hot and sunny and we had to take layers off, one person even in a sundress. Today it is snowing!!

Feeling as if my mojo is coming back. Tomorrow I plan to arrange things, starting with a hair appointment and even going into a building society. Just wish I knew if I could still transmit the virus despite being vaccinated. Time will tell

Hi all x

nonnie so pleased you had a good weekend, keep your mojo
fired up x

Doodle the service sounds beautiful, how are your eyes ? x

I didn’t see or hear from anyone over the weekend, oops younger daughter telephoned .

I spent the weekend working out how to get back to sleeping in bedroom, 9 weeks on sofa ! thought of a small wheelchair, posted and asked for advice, kind and helpful replies, now have to work out how to make room to park Alfie near to sofa, may have to get rid of my indoor garden.

Hope everyone had a happy Easter.

I Frelimo quite guilty because so many are worse off than me but my mood is very low. Maybe wrongly I made my children the focus of my life. Stayed at home to look after them as there dad was away a lot. As the year got older I had no confidence and couldn’t face looking for a job so I just did some cleaning jobs and volunteering.
But now I feel I’m a nuisance and that they don’t really want me. I’m starting to feel it would be better if I wasn’t here.

Hello Ellie Ann welcome

Do you mean your children are now adults ? I did cleaning jobs and volunteering . Do talk here, we all understand, you may
have depression which is causing you to feel as you do

Rafichagran hope you had a Happy Easter, x

Yes anniebach they are adults and I don’t think they like me. Oldest son uses me for childcare when necessary and we’ve bailed them out of a huge debt. Daughter has serious mental health problems and lives a long way away.youngest son has a lockdown baby I’ve hardly seen because of COVID. But they bend the rules for the other gran. I don’t like me either so can’t really blame them.

Ellie Anne. These are possibles ok ?

Your younger son and his wife , his mother in law sees the baby more than you , over the years on GransNet I have read many posters saying the same thing, before Covid, it’s unfair but daughters do seem to need their mothers when they have a baby, my grandchildren are adults but it was so when my elder daughter had my grandchildren, I didn’t have a son , perhaps someone on this thread will speak of this.

Your elder son, does he not keep contact unless he wants your help ?

Your daughter, please, please, don’t think she doesn’t like you, I
speak as a mother whose darling daughter developed a serious mental illness, when did your daughter develop the illness ?
my daughter and I were very close, when she became ill there were times i was hurt but I separated my daughter from the illness, the illness hurt me not my daughter.

I am so sorry you feel so hurt, your confidence needs building up, Covid is causing many to be depressed, others here will tell
you the same. Do stay with us, read the posts, post as often as you wish, I know you will find understanding and support here x

Nonnie you sound a bit brighter. A haircut is something nice to look forward to.
Annie I hope you get back into bed soon. Can’t do you any good sleeping on the sofa. Eyes still a bit sore. We stayed in today to see if that makes a difference.
rafichagran nice to hear from you. How are you doing.
Ellie Anne there is nothing useless about staying home and looking after your children growing up. I did the same.
I know several (even those who have had jobs) who lose confidence as they get older and feel what they have to offer is of no value. Do you need to work financially, or could you do a job volunteering with an organisation that helps others.
I agree with what Annie says. Mother of boys often feel overlooked when it comes to grandchildren whether that’s the case or not. I know that when I had my children I naturally found it easier to be with my own mum than my MIL. I found it easier to ask my own mum for favours like child care than my MIL. It is quite common so don’t feel particularly put out.
I too think your confidence is at a low ebb. Lockdown hasn’t helped any of us with our low mood or depression.
Try and consider a voluntary job, even if it’s only a few hours a week. Having some purpose may help.

Thanks Annie It was my birthday yesterday and my Grandson wrote in my card Happy Birtheaster, it cheered me up no end. I was very lucky to see him and my daughter.

Doodle Thanks for asking. I am having good and anxious days lately, it's the anxiety that's the worst.
I hope things are looking up for you.

rafichagran love the birthday greeting , glad you were able to see him, I missed my grandchildren but they are adults and this has to be accepted.

Sorry the anxiety is still with you, oh for a magic wand x

rafichagran belated happy returns for yesterday. Sounds like you had a good day. Hope the anxiety eases.

Annie sounds like positive thinking. Hope you get back in your bed tonight.

Hi Ellie Anne. Nothing wrong with putting the family first but now perhaps it is time to put yourself first. Perhaps you can find someone who needs help/company. Sounds like you are a caring person so you could give yourself a purpose by supporting someone in need. That would give you confidence which you could build on. I find just walking and smiling, saying hello to everyone I pass brings a smile to them.

I think the first thing you should do is talk to your doctor about how you are feeling.

Rafichagran those things are to treasure.

Not really a BDG thing but I found it comforting when it arrived in my inbox this morning. www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhXI2Oy2AaU

Morning on this bright breezy and freezing morning
Nonnie- so good to hear you had a good Sunday and that you are feeling so positive. I just booked a hair appointment too - beginning of May.
Annie - hope you,ve been able to sort out Alfie’s parking space and that tonight you are able to sleep in your bed. I feel sure being able to be in a different room and actually in your bed will do you so much good. Fingers crossed.
Rafichagran- belated Happy Birthday. Loved your Grandsons new word !!
Good to hear from you and I hope the good days are outweighing the bad. Anxiety is so debilitating- Covid seems to have upped anxiety in everyone but for those of us who suffer anyway it has been difficult. The physical symptoms are what wears me out sometimes - do they you?
Doodle- hope you enjoyed your Easter Chocs. You are right we have missed so much this year . Face time yesterday with my DS - I haven’t seen him for over a year and now Europe is in the grips of a new wave and vaccinations aren’t as advanced as us don’t know when it will be. Thank Goodness for FT.?
Joce,Polomint,Bluesky, Nanny and all I have missed hope you enjoy your dayxx

So sorry Ellie Anne I messed up my post!!
I am so sorry that you are feeling so down . I agree with what everyone else says to you. I too stayed at home and don’t regret it for one minute. Your children will all have lovely childhood memories of you and them together. My son has no children but as my daughters family have all grown up and have children of their own she has taken on roles that I used to have- this is natural. You are still so important to them and always will be. Now though we can sit back a bit and enjoy watching their lives unfold. It does take a bit of acceptance though!!!
I think as Nonnie says perhaps you could have a chat with your Doctor .

Yes Annie my oldest son only contact
Me when he needs something. Before COVID I stayed with them 2 days a week for childcare but dil got made redundant during COVID and her new job fits in with the children so I only see them when they need help.
My daughters illness started at uni but looking back the signs were there earlier. In spite of it she managed to qualify as a dr but everything has been a battle. She can only work part time and lives alone. Doesn’t make friends easily. I haven’t seen her since nov 19 because of virus.
I’ve been on and off anti depressants for years because of my marriage situation. They made me feel flat, neither good or bad just nothing.

Hi all x

nonnie no, still not getting to bedroom x

Scaredycat booking a hair appointment is a positive x

Ellie Anne Covid and the lockdown has changed peoples so much, you haven’t been able to see your daughter, you were staying two days a week with your son to care for your grandchildren, that’s a lot to miss in a short time, and you have
problems in your marriage, little wonder you feel as you do.

As suggested, seeing your GP, when did you last see him/her ?
Are you reluctant now to take medication?

Do share with us how you now spend your days , do you have
a hobby ? pets ?

Sharing helps my love, we all here know depression x

Anxiety and depression are part and parcel of this awful pandemic with some days being really bad and other days not as bad. However, every day is not pleasant, we just have to find an inner strength to cope. Sometimes the strength is there and sometimes we have to dig deep to find it. Sometimes we can't find it at all. In the middle of the night that's when morbid thoughts arise and it's very difficult to find a positive thought. I think a lot of people are having morbid and depressing feelings, after all, we are stuck indoors with nothing to stimulate happy thoughts. Not a good day for me today. The sun is shining, I should feel fine but I don't. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day. Hope all the dogs on here have a good day

Nonnie I liked the video. Thanks for including it.?
Did you manage to book your hair appointment.
Scaredycat we’ve had snow today. I couldn’t believe it. It was a sunny morning then just as DH and I were about to go out we had a sleet storm. ?
I certainly am enjoying my chocs. A little too much for my waistlines sake.
Must be so hard being apart from your DS for so long. I know I am lucky with both ours being about 10 - 15 minutes away. Even if we don’t get to see them that much we are comforted knowing they are close.
Ellie Anne how are you feeling today? Don’t want to ask personal questions nor expect answers but are you still having marriage problems, is that why you are so low do you think?
Annie can you not get Alfie close to your bed? Such a good reply to Ellie.
polo it’s so easy to feel down and the middle of the night or early morning is often a bad time. Try not to dwell on your troubles at night. I am a great ruminator and realise I can think myself into depression by constantly worrying about things. I have tried to think more positively but I grant you it’s not easy, hope your spirits lift soon.

I walk every morning for a while. I try not to think and concentrate on what’s around me. The rest of the time I fill in as best I can with tv books sometimes cross stitch or knitting. But because I’m unhappy at home my coping strategy was being out with friends or going to groups or volunteering. All that disappeared last March though I still manage to see sone friends.
Annie I don’t have a problem with pills but I think I am unhappy rather than depressed and there is no pill for that, also last time I saw go summer 2019 she was very dismissive and said it was up to me if I came of pills or not but I’d been on several different ones and she couldn’t suggest anything else. Didn’t offer any other help.

Hi all x

so many are struggling now, charities for mental health are working their socks off, depression is affecting millions. I have ‘those times’ , middle of night / early morning, we all do, my poor dogs have to listen whilst I tell them how I
am going to sort things out - tomorrow !

We are experiencing problems not know for generations, having to suddenly adapt to a new way of life. I think of my life
when I was the age of my grandchildren now, so much freedom, plans could be made, fed up ? go shopping, go to theatre, cinema, meet friends in the pub. It’s what we could all do 14 months ago, now we can’t.

Acceptance is so hard , I am now having to accept I can never go for a walk again and I am one who use to go on walking holidays ! What we must do is hold onto hope, without it what do we have.

Ellie Anne that GP wasn’t helpful was she ? If I may ask, when
you were prescribed anti depressants was your home troubles the cause then ?

My friends, I think we should all become Scarlet O’Hara

Scardycat beat you by a week! Also got put on hairdressers cancellation list

Ellie Anne sounds like a take it one day at a time situation. Do go back to your GP, sometimes you need to keep up the pressure before they do anything.

Oh polomint that resonates with me. I find that if I force myself to start something useful it sometimes pushes me to carry on although some days I can't even start. I want to keep fit but actually starting the exercises is the hardest part but if I manage it I usually get them all done. The odd positive comment from someone helps too, a couple of days ago DS said how fit I am for my age and DiL said my plank is better than hers and she is super fit! It all helps.

Doodle we had snow twice yesterday too.

Our GSs have never lived near us, wish they did.

Annie if that 'tomorrow' ever comes please let me know how you did it

I will boast today - haven't opened my Easter eggs, hidden them in the pantry!