Black Dog 10

Nonnie I don’t know how to accept pm s. I’ve never knowingly stopped them but lots of tech stuff is a mystery to me.

How do you deal with feelings of panic and despair. How do you get through the day. I hope this question is acceptable on this website.

fulbourn Welcome .

Black Dog is for all to support, understand, share and encourage anyone with mental health concerns. Anxiety, depression, panic, OCD, etc.

All who post here understand how it is to feel as you do .

Please feel free to talk , is your despair caused by panic attacks?

fulborn welcome to the Black Dog Gang. We are all supportive and non-judgemental so feel free to express whatever you wish.

We all cope somehow, for me, when things are really bad, it is just coping in the moment and not thinking about the future. At other times I try acceptance (difficult) and think about what I can do to change the situation, sometimes I succeed and at others I don't.

Be kind to yourself.

Hi all x

Much stress for many now, Christmas, Winter weather, Covid .

New doors being fitted in two weeks .

I am not having restful nights, isn’t it difficult to just switch off
at times ?

How is everyone?

Morning all wanted to say hello, My thoughts are with all the gang.
Annie I know that feeling so well I go to sleep ok then up at 3.30 and boy it’s so hard to switch of and rest...
I pray the doors get done this time Annie..
Welcome fulborn you will get plenty of support hear...
How are you Nonnie?
How’s Doodle doing?
Sorry not had time to read the thread yet need to catch up
Take care all have a good day ?

Annie so many of us not sleeping well. some time I ago I resorted to prescription pills. I only take every other night as they are addictive but that keeps me going, just.

Hi Joce I think we are all plodding on about the same. I'm getting over my recent drop in coping.

My positive today - DH gave me an old fashioned advent calendar, no chocolate, just a large nativity. He searched Amazon to find it.

Happy Advent all.

Hi all x

Joyce how are you my love ? Oh that early waking, for me it’s
usually 1.30, 4.00, 6.00, need a wee or arthritis flaring .

Nonnie I have taken prescription pills for years, came off them about a year after they were prescribed and the withdrawal was horrific so GP decided staying on a very low dose was preferable, problem with them if I don’t sleep well I am doped the next day.

I am being positive about the doors, have charged up the wheelchair ready to go into the garden. When I have been out there I can plan what I want planted come Spring, have my
gardening books ready.

How is everyone?

Hello all. Sorry not been in touch more.
Internet connection very poor so short message for now. Be back next week.
Ellie Anne there is a setting for PMs. I’ve tried to find it for you but can’t. You can email GN and ask them. You have to agree to get PMs before you can receive them.
Hope you are getting on ok and your family.
Welcome fulborn you will find others on this thread who can sympathise with your feelings. Do you know what is causing your panic?
Annie another two weeks, it’s really not on. Mind you the weather isn’t great for going out at the moment but I do hope they get installed soon.
Nonnie Joce sorry about the sleep problems. It’s awful when your mind is racing.
scaredycat and bluesky hope you’re ok too.
We aren’t having a lot of sun and the weather on our return journey is due to be a bit wild. May not be in touch again till next week but thinking of you all x

Hi All, not sure if this is the place to post this.
Am struggling with myself just now trying to stay positive. To explain, Mr B was diagnosed recently with Heart Failure and he is taking it really badly. He’s having to take a lot of meds which are a thrice daily reminder of this on top of pre-existing conditions. As it’s early days we don’t really know how much recovery there will be. We do know he’s never going to be back where he was.
Had anyone had a similar situation? I tend to get the brunt of his anger/frustration and even tho we discuss this it keeps happening. Mental health help is on the cards but it’s a long wait.
I lose patience at times, like today when I was driving him to an appointment. So I didn’t go into his appointment with him and now we’re not speaking.
I am continuing to see my sisters and friends and I get out to a couple of groups weekly. Great tor me but I do think it causes jealousy.
Any experience to share or advice would be gratefully received.

Oh Annie please wrap up warm before you go out.

Yes, that is the reason my GP said to only take mine every other day. I chose to half the dose because of the next day after effects, it works for me. Not sure I will ever stop taking them because I know what happens if I don't. When we have something planned I always take one the night before which means that sometimes I have to go two nights without one. I really can't function after two very bad nights.

Welcome Bridie54 you will get lots of support here. That sounds a horrible situation for both of you to be in.

No, I haven't any experience of this so can only guess at what you might do. I hate confrontation so would walk away from it and simply refuse to be drawn in. Do not give up your own social life or you simply will not cope.

You both need a period of adjustment for such a huge thing so it will take time to find out what works for you two. I think it might be a sort of bereavement. Are there things you can do together? Sorry just mulling it over.

bridie welcome to the BDG. As Nonnie said you will find support here.
My DH has numerous health problems including heart bypass, cancer, stroke and many other ailments. There is always a period of adjustment coming to terms with it and of course fear. What helps us most is finding out more about the conditions to have an idea of what to expect and what support is on offer. Ok life may never be the same but then that comes with getting older and not just health problems, although life may not be the same it doesn’t mean it doesn’t have quality.
If possible I would go into your DHs appointments with him if you can. Two sets of ears are better than one and you may remember things he forgets. Writing lists of questions before you go can be helpful too as it’s easy to get flustered and forgetful when faced with a consultant.
Try contacting somewhere like the British Heart Foundation (assuming you are in the UK) they have a wealth of information and maybe someone who you and your DH can talk too.
He is probably scared and that can make people angry. Try and be patient while he comes to terms with things. Continue to go out with your family and friends but perhaps arrange small things you can do with your DH too.
Please come on here to post whenever you feel like letting off steam, we can sympathise.
Annie glad you are positive about the garden. Do they and keep your spirits up. You love the garden so much it would be lovely to think of you getting out there and pottering with your plants. How about some winter pansies too, I love pansies. Such an array of colours and I always see little faces in their flowers (or am I back to thinking about Bill and Ben and little weed ?)
Nonnie sometimes we need to keep taking our meds evn if it’s a low dose, I am still on a very low dose of meds for hot flushes (not hrt) they have the added benefit of being anti depressants too so twice as helpful.
Take care all. Be back with you soon. x

Hi all x

bridie welcome, you are both under much stress , and there must be fear, you need time for yourself though. Do talk here
when even you need to x

Nonnie I will wear warm clothing, my green winter gardening coat, my purple woolly hat , blue scarf and red slippers . I love ? x

Doodle hope you are having a lovely holiday . Yes I love
gardening, it started about age 4 when my Grampa let me help
in his rose garden and took me to his veg allotment , he gave me flower seeds to plant in the allotment, not allowed with his
roses. Coal miners were obsessed with their gardens, hardly
surprising x

How is everyone ?

bridie such wise words from Doodle

Annie me too. Had that same conversation with my hairdresser yesterday, started with should I go grey? NO! she said and then commented on the bright colours I wear. No beige for me!

Hi all x

I posted this morning, came back now , no post !

Dark and miserable in Mid Wales, certainly makes S.A.D, worse, slept this afternoon.

Weather depressing, concentration on reading is lacking, switch on rolling news ? not advisable.

How is everyone?

No * annie* don't look at the news unless you want to feel unwanted. I am fuming this morning to hear that as I am over 75 I can't have any routine medical tests or minor surgery.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-59528615

So if I were 40, an obese smoker with self-induced diabetes my health would be more important? Grrrrrrr

Yes, I know ranting about the news is probably not appropriate on this thread but it has upset me and I don't usually do other threads.

Hi all x

Nonnie why not rant about the news if it causes upset, I have always had rolling news playing, just to hear voices because I
live alone and unable to leave the house 5 years come January,but it is so depressing now.

I sympathise with you, I can’t have support from the reenablement team to get use to getting off wheelchair into bed, they have many younger people now wanting support!

I don’t like weekends, my carer doesn’t come Saturday and
Sunday so I don’t have a chat.

On waking this morning I felt so down , went on uTube and saw a collection of singers I have always liked, so thought ‘yes a
bit of jazz’ nice and lively, oh no , Christmas songs about lonely
Christmas’s !

That’s my rant

How is everyone?

Hello everybody - sorry I,ve been absent but I didn’t use my iPad while We were visiting my sister and Stepdaughter. Just got home this afternoon. It was lovely to see everybody but was a mix of happiness and anxiety at mixing with more people. We so need to see our families don’t we and the alternative is hiding away . I think often of you Annie and how much you would love to get out so consider myself very lucky that I can. The anxiety threatens always but I just try and deal with each day as it comes.
Fullbourn and Birdie welcome - I hope it helps you both to be able to talk here.
I will read all the posts I,ve missed properly but just wanted to say hello - I,ve missed you all.
Doodle,Nonnie,BlueSky ,Ellie Ann ,Annie and all the gang I hope you have a nice evening and peaceful sleepxx

Hello all, nearly home.
Annie your gardening clothes sound cheerful. Is that the purple had your DD bought for you?
I do hope you can get outside soon and get planting. I’m sure that will cheer you up.
I find the news so sad and worrying these days. Some of the latest news items I can’t get out of my mind. Such sad and awful things happening to people.
I think the enablement team that contact you are certainly not helping as they should. Your cleaner sounds lovely. Not surprised you miss her at the weekends,
Nonnie nice to hear you wear bright colours. That must be cheering. Not good to hear you can’t have the health checks you need. If you do have anything that’s worrying you please pester a GP till you get seen though. Sometimes we have to be more forceful.
Scaredycat glad you had a nice time with your family. Yes mixing is still worrying with all the news about this new strain of Covid. Hope your sister and stepdaughter are coping ok and you managed a nice long catch up.
Longing to be home again now. Catch up again later. Have a good weekend all x

Annie yes, my rant was for all those over 75 who have basically been told they don't matter as much as younger people. They couldn't do it to one ethnic group or one gender so how can they do it to one age? Grrrr

And then there is the heartbreak of that 6 year old boy....................... it makes me weep. Social workers were so easily conned by that manipulative woman.

Support for people in need seems to be all about ticking boxes rather than finding solutions.

Why, oh why are people so awful?

Sorry, don't want to add to others' distress but it's really got to me.

Scardycat wise words about a day at a time.

Thanks Doodle but my rant was not really about me, its about the age discrimination against the over 75s. Why only our routine checks, why not everyone?

Hi all x

Doodle yes that purple hat . The head of the enablement team has refused to help me and the physiotherapy dept accept her decision so they will not give support.

I didn’t know she is known as ‘The Sargent’ by her team , she will not accept any questioning of her decisions and yes I did
question her decision but I was polite.
Hope you have enjoyed your holiday x

Nonnie I agree, and join you in the rant x

Scardycat yes we do need to see our family, I can speak from experience, isolation is torture, my grandchildren are afraid to visit me and I long to see them .

You faced your fears so - ? x

How is everyone?

Hi all x

Doodle yes that purple hat . The head of the enablement team has refused to help me and the physiotherapy dept accept her decision so they will not give support.

I didn’t know she is known as ‘The Sargent’ by her team , she will not accept any questioning of her decisions and yes I did
question her decision but I was polite.
Hope you have enjoyed your holiday x

Nonnie I agree, and join you in the rant x

Scardycat yes we do need to see our family, I can speak from experience, isolation is torture, my grandchildren are afraid to visit me and I long to see them .

You faced your fears so - ? x

How is everyone?

Very stressed. My crown has come out again so I need to phone the dentist in the morning. I hate phoning and sometimes the person at the other end is quite unsympathetic.
Have had a busy few days. A couple of things on with the choir I’m in. It’s a community choir and open to anyone so not highbrow at all.
The man who runs it has an amazing voice and was singing. As he sang let your heart be light I felt such a heaviness within me and had to hold back tears.
This should be a happy time but I find everything so hard and stressful.

Ellie Anne sorry if this question has been asked before and I have forgotten but have you told your GP how you feel? Counselling might help and at least you could have a good rant.

Doodle you are due back soon and to miserable weather.

I've been shopping this morning, it was very busy. I only looked at the things on my list and didn't do one browse! Never done that before so wondering if it is dementia or I have learned a new skill