Black Dog 11

Doodle- glad you feel a bit better and hope that you enjoyed your shopping trip with your DH. Hope a coffee stop was included.
Sometimes when I read your posts it’s like you live in my body!! Tinnitus, sore neck , churning etc. Last night I couldn’t sleep with the Whatifferies tormenting me so much I felt really horrible- cold sweats, shaky and then AF joined in? I,m ok today and sorted out the worries as best as I can. Catastrophising is my middle name!!
Missing the walking but I think my foot is improving slightly with the exercises and hot and cold application.
Sorry I,ve gone on a bit .
Annie- I have Claire Weeks books too - they have helped me greatly . The quote made me feel encouraged.
I hope Lottie is recovering from her surgery day by day.
HVDY- it’s good you will get your physio next month although it has been such a long wait for you hasn’t it.
Don’t do too much this afternoon- your home must sparkle now!!
SweetPeaSue- I hope by now you have had your Doctors call. How can anyone not be moved by what you are going through. Continuous pain and the fear it brings with it are such a horrible thing to live with. Take carex
Hope Nonnie is having a lovely holiday.
Take care allxxx

Thankyou everyone for your kindness. I do feel guilty about going on about my fears and pain and have thought about staying off for a while or just posting good stuff but what would be the point of the thread then. Anyway, to update--call from Dr says if very bad pain again and can't get to A&E to call ambulance though no one wants to do that do they? Also I'm terrified of going through those doors and husband not being allowed in to visit, I'm terrified of being left alone in there.
Ar Dr's advice, called secretary who said other urgent patients to be seen but she will look to see if an appt can be given then I will get an idea of time frame. Tbh if it's going to be much longer we're going to have to think of raiding our bank account to go private which I know isn't right and would feel awful about it but I can't carry on anymore like this. It's not only the pain my bowel function is failing. My anxiety is off the scale.
Oh dear another epistle.
Annie Thankyou for getting back about the Claire Weeks book. It all appears to make sense regarding 1st and 2nd fears. As Scaredycat says, the quotation was helpful. Whenever we think we can't carry on I think of plants in garden that I think have given up the ghost then, sometimes after such a long time, they start to show a fight of coming back.
*Scaredycat *Glad your ankle is getting stronger. Don't be tempted to do too much though. Lovely to see the little foxes playing though hopefully not with the daffodil bulbs.
Doodle Thankyou for your kind words too. Hope your tummy is a bit more settled and yourself and Scaredycat can have some release from anxieties.
Xx

Anniebach Anxiety is horrible, isn't it. I do relax - Mr Cooper sees to that, he miaows continually until I sit and have him on my knee. I talk to him constantly, even though he's deaf.

I certainly wish my house was spotless. When the GDs are here, much as I love them, they don't put things away or tidy up after themselves. Today I've put away clothes they'd tried on, disagreed and left on the beds. I put away hairbrushes, scrunchies, dolls, blankets. I've washed the clothes and nightwear they wore, put their bath toys away, wiped their grubby finger marks from the windows, etc., etc. They really are such messy girls.

Doodle, ScaredyCat, SweetpeaSue (we've already been in touch), and everyone on here - I hope you all have a restful evening. x

Husband and Son1 have gone to the pub at the end down the road, just for a couple of pints. It's Son1's last day in his current job, after 10 years at Eon.

8Just noticed I'd said "clothes they'd tried on and disagreed".... I meant, of course, disregarded

Been a long day. Did some cleaning and weekly shop. This afternoon took an 85 year old from my church to hospital for a ct scan. Went to my church group tonight and dithered about sharing the problem with son and dill and neighbours. In the end I did and they prayed about it. My prayers don’t seem to work but I’m hoping other people’s will.
Hope Lottie is getting on better Annie and the stomach churning has settled.
I’m so worried about everything just now.

What a day. DH and I are totally exhausted. Our appointment was cancelled so as I said earlier we were going shopping. Had a phone call from the consultant saying there had been a mix up and he was still prepared to see us if we could get there. It’s in London so we had a mad dash to get ready and get three trains to get there. Left home at 3 and got back at 9pm. Phew.
Glad we went though as consultant a big help. Everything aches now, back, legs and knees. So many stairs at the train stations.
Scaredycat yes we do sound like each other. I don’t have AF but I do have palpitations when I get stressed.
Good to hear your foot is getting better. Hope you’ll be back walking again soon.
Sweetpeasue please don’t ever not post. You seem very concerned and guilty about posting on your situation. Please don’t worry. As you say, that is why we are here. To listen and support however we can.
I know you are anxious about going into hospital and I can understand your worries especially about not being able to have your DH visit but sometimes it’s the right thing to do.
My DH has been in hospital twice since the start of Covid and I wasn’t able to visit. One trip saved his life and the second one was when he broke 6 ribs and was in such pain.
You are in pain. You are worried and need help. I wouldn’t dream of advising you what to do but consider this. If you go into A&E they will do tests to find out what is causing your pain. They may well admit you but you might get the answer to what’s causing all this problem. It might be an idea anyway to pack a bag ready for admission whether or not you follow this advice. It’s better to be prepared and have everything you need than to go in without any preparation. No one wants to go to hospital and I know you’re scared but it might be the right thing. It’s your decision and if you decide not to go please don’t stop posting thinking I might be upset if you ignore my advice as that is not the case. I’m just saying that hôpital admissions have helped my DH in the past. I just hope you get a solution to this problem and stop being in such pain.
HVDY animals are one of the best therapies. Stroking a cat or dog is known to relax. Good for Mr Cooper helping you out ?. 10 years is a long time in one job. Hope he enjoys a drink with his dad.
Ellie Anne you are a good helper, taking someone to hospital is a kind thing to do.
Sometimes it is helpful to share your problems and praying together is comforting.
I have read that God always hears our prayers and sometimes he doesn’t always answer them as quickly as we would like. Sometimes we have to wait and that is hard. It is easy to give up but we need to hope and keep faith…….it is not easy and I struggle at times as we all do. I hope things work out ok.
Annie thank you for your kind words. Hope you are ok.
Any news on Lottie, we are all thinking about her, x

Hi all x

I went back to bed this morning, well the sofa’ , nursing a dog
recovering from surgery is exhausting if she sleeps on the sofa with you and a second little dog wants to snuggle up too.

How is everyone?

Anniebach I'm glad Lottie is recovering well. They all like their cuddles, don't they, especially now that today is cooler. My boy followed me all around in the house today, whining constantly until in the end, I put the heating on and he settled down on the keyboard of this computer. Silly boy. We love them though.

Doodle What a mix-up. And having to get 3 trains! It's good that things went well in the end.

I had to go for some blood tests this morning, then did some online shopping when I got back - a couple of dresses, some new cutlery, and bath sheets. Aqua Aerobics this afternoon, which I like. Cooking a roast dinner later, which is more of a challenge to me since I had the stroke -putting things on to cook at different times and trying to remember how long each thing had been cooking for, etc.

Hope everyone has been having a decent day x

Glad to hear the news of Lottie Annie.
Doodle, thanks for asking about me. Not recovered yet, but on the up.
To all posters on here. I hope you are well. When I feel better I will answer individually to you.

Annie I can just picture you on the sofa with your two dogs. Of course the little one wants a cuddle too.
Hope Lottie is getting better.
HVDY nothing like a pet cuddle. Showing affection and trust.
I bought two blouses today so I’ve been shopping too.
No roast dinner for us just chilli chicken from Waitrose, very tasty.
I’m going to church in the morning. I will say a prayer for all the gang.
rafichagran glad your are feeling a bit better. Hope things continue to improve.
Scaredycat Sweetpeasue Ellie Anne hope you are all ok.

Annie Hope the sofa is a large one!
I think I may have missed what type of little dogs you have though I know you are petite as you've said. Hope Lottie is showing signs of recovery.
HVDY Have a good day tomorrow with your granddaughters if you go to play centre. Hope the Aqua Aerobics was refreshing and fun.
Rafichagran I'm sorry, I missed that you had been ill. I hope you're getting better.
Scaredycat EllieAnne Hope you're both OK and your day went well.
Doodle It was good of you to think about my situation and worries about hospital. I've thought about what you have said and it's a good idea to be prepared. It must have been such an ordeal for you and your husband with the hospital admissions at such a time. I dread to think how your husband broke all 6 ribs. He would be in so much pain. You must have been so worried. Thank goodness for the vaccinations, I hope we don't return to those times. What a tiring day it was for you yesterday. I'm pleased you had a good appointment.
I've not been too bad today and had a reasonable night's sleep though felt exhausted today. I've thought how good you all are on here to show care for each other. It means a lot. Thankyou.
Hope you all have a peaceful night.

How is everyone this morning? It's cold and grey here. My usual counselling session has been cancelled (they rang half an hour ago) so I'm going to "do my root", paint my nails, and generally lounge about until it's time to see my GDs after school. Hope everyone has a decent day x

HVDY I'm feeling OK! That'll do me. ?
Might even go out to nearest town to Hobby craft and get a cross-stitch work.
Have a bubble bath aswell HVDY. Go for it! ☺️

Sorry. Got a bit carried away there. How is everyone?

Hi all x

Lottie sees the vet tomorrow and hopefully gets the ok.
Having had 17 dogs and lost 15 it doesn’t get easier, it’s the price we pay for love .

Joyce if your reading , sending you love x

Sending love to all x

How is everyone? We are here for you x

SweetpeaSue I'm so pleased you're feeling ok. I haven't had a bubble bath! I struggle to get up from a bath, since the stroke, but I prefer showers anyway. x
Anniebach Best of luck for Lottie tomorrow. x
Doodle, EllieAnne, Nanny, Nonnie,rafichagran Joce, and everyone else - I hope your day is going well.

I did my roots, the box dye was "Beach blonde". I don't know what ruddy beach it was meant to be, but my hair's come out pink! I'm leaving it, for now. It's a wonder I'm not bald - I've gone from dyed jet black to auburn, dyed silver grey, to blonde, and every shade in between, over the past 2 years. This latest one is still better than the brassy yellow it looked.........

Perhaps of interest to those of us with depression, I have SAD,
was diagnosed years ago, had a light box, I truly dread winter.

I didn’t know SAD is caused by Summer too !

Posted yesterday but it’s never been seen again so guess I didn’t actually post it ?
HVDY- hope the roast went well - I often write the timings down when doing something like that as I seem to have lost cooking confidence as I,ve got older. Or I,m just fed up with cooking!!!
Pink hair will look really pretty - hope it goes with the new dresses!!! Your GDs will be very impressed I,m sure.?
SweetPeaSue- so good to hear that you re feeling ok today. A trip to town will do you good and I hope you enjoy your day.
Rafichagran- glad you are getting better
Annie- best Wishes for Lottie tomorrow?What a lot of doggy memories you must have . Is it 2 or 3 that you have now?
Doodle- glad you got up the energy to go shopping after your marathon London journey with DH.
Chilli Chicken sounds delicious hope you enjoyed it. We should have had one of our GD round for dinner tonight but she has just texted to say to,work colleagues have Covid so to be safe for us will stay away. I hope she doesn’t get it.
Been to hairdressers this morning and now off to Garden Centre - living the High Life!! Keeping busy really helps with the constant Whatifferies.
Take care allxx

HVDY Oh no!! You must feel mortified. You really are so brave. I'm completely white now but have dyed it for years, ALWAYS the same colour.
Your DGs will probably like it.
Anniebach I hadn't realised that about SAD either. I think you said on BD that it was difficult to place your light box without it being conspicuous from outside. Hope you managed to sort that out and have found somewhere suitable.
Crossed fingers for Lottie tomorrow.

I hope my last post didn't sound smug. I hadn't meant it to sound as if 'I'm all right Jack' - - but meant OK is good after the bad days. I'm so unsure of myself. The least thing is worrying me lately.
Anyway got the cross stitch of little girl posting a letter into red postbox in the snow. Hope it's not going to be too difficult. Don't think I can even start it right now as concentration not there. We'll see. Hope everyone is OK.

Scaredycat 2 dogs now, Lottie and Rosie. A reminder of
‘Annie’s Law’, - if having to jot things down, if putting something somewhere and forgetting where, forgetting anything , always blame the weather’ .

You have been to hair dressers, now going to Garden Centre,
go girl x

*Sweetpeasue’ cross stitching is relaxing, just do a few minutes to start, it will help you concentrate x

Sweetpeasue sorry forgot to say , your post wasn’t one of
smugness, it was a positive and positives get a ? x

Sweetpeasue my DH fell down the stairs just before Christmas Dec 20. He fell back on the metal stair tread and broke six ribs. He was in hospital for 10 days and allowed no contact. Thank goodness for mobile phones. At least we were able to keep in touch.
Due to DHs many medical conditions I keep a hospital bag packed ready for him. In it is a list of all his medications, what he takes them for and details of all his operations and procedures. I have a very bad memory and can’t remember these things so it’s useful to have them written down. The bag contains a number of toiletries etc and a list of last minute things to pack like phone and charger etc. I did this after DH was admitted to hospital for Sepsis when we were on holiday one year. In the panic of phoning for an ambulance and having the paramedics in I was in such a state I could hardly think and forgot to pack so many things I decided to be more prepared in future.
I’m glad you had a better nights sleep. That always helps how we feel during the day. Let’s hope it continues.
As for posting on here that you feel ok today, that’s a good thing. We have said before, it’s important for everyone to know that there are times when things are better so that it gives hope to others. So don’t ever feel you can t mention how bad you feel or how good you feel. I’m pleased for you ?
HVDY I think pink hair might be fetching. My mum once tried to touch up her grey bits in her jet black hair and turned it red. Why not go with pink. My DGD has half her hair pink and half it’s natural black. It looks striking and really suits her.
These days every hair colour is acceptable so why not pink. I bet your DGDs love it.
Annie with 17 dogs you must have had a lot of heartache when they go. However, I always feel that if a pet has been truly loved then they have had a good life. I do hope Lottie passes with the vet and you have her and Rosie for a long time to come.
Talking of cross stitch, what are you working on at the moment.?
Is that right that you can have SAD in summer too?
Scardycat I have missing posts sometimes. So frustrating.
Hope you are pleased with your hair. Have fun at the garden centre. The chilli chicken was delicious. A bit hot but very tasty. Sorry your DGD isn’t coming but good she’s keeping you safe.
Sweetpeasue I agree with Annie, cross stitch will keep you occupied. Once you start you will enjoy it and get into the rhythm. It’s good to have a hobby that you have to think about a bit so it can help distract from worries.

Doodle yes summer causes SAD for a small number of people, in countries near the equator summer SAD is as common as winter SAD here.

I am stitching a beach and sea view, love the sea snd was sad that I will never be able to see it again so decided to stitch it , I would be lost without cross stitching, have always done craft work, use to design, make and sell knitwear in craft fairs, done
pottery, basket making too.

Even years ago hospitals for mental health always had occupational therapy every day.

How are the leg muscles? x

Anniebach I didn't realise SAD can happen in summer. Does the light box help at all? Your cross stitch sounds good. I've never been very artistic or good at crafts, but someone bought me a cross stitch set when I was in hospital last year. I really ought to try it.

Doodle Oh your poor husband. He must have been in agony with all those broken ribs. Being in hospital without being able to have visitors is horrible - I didn't see my anyone for 6 weeks last year, then the day before I was discharged, the hospital let my husband visit (I'd been in isolation for 2 weeks at the time)

Scaredycat* Did you buy anything at the garden centre?

SweetpeaSue Every time I see my GDs, they say "Have you been dyeing your hair again?"! I once had blue streaks in it.

My hair is a muted (Not a Barbie pink) pink-beige colour. I'll possibly try a different colour next week. Son1 and GDs said they like it, husband didn't notice! I'll see what Son2 says at the weekend.

Son1's ex (mum of GDs) is moving house next Monday - at the last possible minute, she managed to get another place (she was given 2 months' notice to leave as the landlord wants to sell the house, and the 2 months is up tomorrow actually). I'm so relieved as she'd been telling GDs they'd be living here, at my house!

Hope everyone has a relaxing evening. x

Doodle Your poor husband and you too! What an awful thing to happen at such a time. He must have gone down very hard to cause such damage. Ooh he must have been black and blue. It seemed so cruel to deny a loved one a visit at all and especially for such a long time. Of course it was the early days of covid and a lot was played by ear. How organised you are but it's so true that we can be caught unawares. I'll take on board some of those useful tips. Hope you're both OK after the long train trips yesterday.
Annie I've made a start! It didn't seem so daunting when you suggested taking 10 minutes. I did an hour. Sounds as if you've done so much craft work. The beach and sea view will be beautiful. I hope it works out that somehow you CAN get to the sea again. If I lived closer I'd take you myself!
HVDYGlad the pink hair isn't too er pink. Love your husband's reaction. Ha! Perhaps he was trying to be sensitive by not appearing to notice?

*Scaredycat *Think our posts crossed earlier. It can take me a while to finish a post but I'm often accidentally touching a wrong symbol, like a 'back' key and losing it. So annoying. Hope you had a good day.

Wishing ALL a peaceful night.