If you fart when in company …

How do we know she actually is on Gransnet……..?

This thread has reminded me of a former neighbour. A very pompous man.
One morning his lovely wife was having coffee with me. The couples three year old daughter came too. Conversation turned to the child's father. The little girl suddenly announced 'We call Daddy "*Botty noise*"
I'll leave the rest to your imagination!

Aveline your story has reminded me of one of my favourite MN posts.

A lady and her toddler daughter were in a cubicle in a very busy toilets in a shopping centre.

As mother and daughter exited the cubicle to wash their hands, the little girl exclaimed loudly

‘Well done Mummy! A wee and a poo!’

I think we've all done it, I remember when out shopping with my other half, I passed what is commonly known as "a silent but deadly", saw some people we knew approaching, I swiftly moved away to another display area, leaving him to greet them with what still hung in the air, he wasn't happy

A couple of years ago pre lockdown, we were at a party when I suddenly became aware of the most awful farty smell, close to me was one of my friends, vegetarian, I did mention to her "was that you?" to which she replied "I can tell you that's a meat eater, mine don't smell half as bad as that!" then we tumbled weaving in out of everyone's feet was the culprit, the hosts' Jack Russell, everywhere he went he dropped one!

Love it Aveline, hope you gave him 10p

I just look around as if I m looking for the culprit and no I never acknowledge it …loops
Once I took the grandkids on a guided walk around the dungeons in a old castle, the guide was a rather stern lady As we stood in silence hearing about the dreadful use of the dungeons my grandson let out a rather obvious fart… all would have been ok as he kept a very straight face, but his little sister turned and went ‘ohh you just farted’ quite loudly.
The stern lady looked even sterner

Slightly OT but this thread reminded me of the time, many years ago when my OH and I had recently got engaged. He asked me one day what had made me certain we were 'right' together and that the relationship was for ever. I replied that I knew we were right for each other the day I realised I could fart in bed and not cringe with shame or embarrassment.

I have never done this act in public.

I would rather faint from the pressure if trying to keep it in.

This thread has made me laugh out loud - just what l needed - some very funny stories (*Aveline*?)

Ohhhh heck !
My mùm used to do it a lot, i totally ignored it but if we were in public ohhh i died a death of embarrassment.

I havent done it as yet but when that day arrives i will ( i think ) absolutely want to never leave ever ever ever again.... would sticking a CORK up my bum help ?!?!?!

Its quite funny because i thought that on a cold day when you breath out, you can see your puff of breath, i thought if someone breaks wind, is that visible too? hahahaha.... strange what goes through ones mind !!!

Zoejory och just go for it! It's only natural.

Zoejory

I have never done this act in public.

I would rather faint from the pressure if trying to keep it in.

I was just about to say that. Zoejory.

I’d have been lying, mind.

Sorry, ive left words out of my sentence.

I would want to never, ever leave the house again

My DGSs and I love the video of the very dignified capybara farting in the bath. I don't know how to post links though. Sorry.

I remember when my Grandson was about 3 we were out in a shopping centre....my Grandson had always been told to say pardon me if he "popped"..... I unfortunately farted as I was walking along....my Grandson just looked at me....
When my Son picked him up he relayed what had happened in the shopping centre, My Son said "I hope Grandma said what she was supposed to say"....to which my Grandson replied "Well Grandma started laughing and said hurry up lets get out of here then no one will know it was me" I have never lived it down??

On holiday in Turkey many years ago we were sitting on a lovely beach being serve by. Waiters with drinks and snacks when my husband let an extremely loud fart go and got a round of applause from the servers?. Couldn’t stop laughing.

tobyandsocks that is soooo funny hahahahaha. Brilliant

oh, omaoma, you made me laugh! I will have to remember that one!

In my family there is a saying "Where every you may be, let your wind go free".

I really do my best not to, but it has happened... a quick 'oh pardon!' will do.

May I assure you all that if you fart whilst having a massage do not worry.
We are used to it but always hope we are up by your shoulders when it happens!

I too have laughed so much my stomach hurts and thankyou
PamelaJl for your reassuring words. I once changed my
massage to just a back massage , couldn't risk any pounding
near my stomach.

I’m impressed by the people that claim to be able to hold their farts in. I’ve had my entire sigmoid colon removed and there just isn’t time to hold them in. I’ve stopped worrying about it, it’s become a family joke.

"This thread has made me laugh out loud - just what l needed - some very funny stories (*Aveline*?)"

Me too, thanks for the laughs. It does you good to laugh out loud.☺️

There was a nobleman in the court of Elizabeth I (I can't remember his name) who let off such a loud fart in the presence of HM that he was banished from the court for seven years.

When he was given permission to return, and re-appeared at court, the Queen said "Oh Lord ...,, it's so good to see you again. We had quite forgotten the fart"

It was Edward de Vere, his portrait is in the National Portrait Gallery but I don’t think it mentions the fart!

This is such a funny thread .... we all need a good giggle... hahahahaha. X