Suicidal deelings

Someone very close to me took their own life. The repercussions are horrendous. Please see your GP.

Please take heed of the good advice and kindness of the posters on here, many have been through the same as you are at present, and maybe realising that you are not alone in this will help. Please see your GP, it will help you to sort out whether it is your mental health which is the main issue, or the man you are married to. Meanwhile, there is always someone on GN, just chat, pour it out, it really does help.

No the world will not be a better place without you. Please ring your GP surgery asap and request an appointment. If you speak to a doctor you will referred to a specialist who will help you. You will probably also be given medication that will help. You will be able to see things more clearly and make it easier to deal with issues troubling you.
I hope you listen to good well meant advice here. Please do seek help you made the first step now on here so please follow it through. And come back on here to let us know how you are doing.

Sallywally1 I hope writing it down has helped you air how you are feeling. Life isn't fair but it's life. I have been through some horrible times and probably will in the future .

Unfortunately my husband died 18 years ago aged 47. He was very wise. We always knew he was going to die so he made me promise a lot of things. He knew what I needed to live without him.

The main one was live the best life I can. Have wobbles along the way but I always find a positive out of a negative . It might be something small or silly. I was having a really bad time few months ago . And saw a Woodpigeon about to mount his mate. He fell off the fence I couldn't stop laughing. But them thought is he ok. He was but to add insult to injury his mate flew off.

Saturday will be my birthday also it will be 2 years since I last saw my son and spoke to him. Had a wonderful time. 4 days later he sent me an email dumping me as his mom. I lost him and 3 grandson's.

But as horrible as it was and the way he did it was cruel and cowardly. The silver lining was I found help ,support ,advice and more importantly friendship on the estrangement forum. A thread started by Smiless2012.

You need to decide what you want the rest of your life to be. If you no longer love your partner and feel he doesn't love and care about you. You have an important decision to make. Do you still want him?

As far as your daughter is concerned have a look at the estrangement forum. The support thread is still there but it was continued by me when it got to 1,000. Complicated reason why but Smiles is still the back bone of the thread along with other long time friends.

Sorry your son has been very ill hope he makes a full recovery.

I am an atheist so I don't believe in any god . But I do believe in living . I feel I am lucky I have a wonderful daughter and her family,other relatives and friends.

Hopefully you will wake in the morning and feel life is worth living . There are only two certainties in life we are born we die. It's up to you to fill in the rest . ?

I second Oops. Please go and see your doctor now. It sounds like you’re totally overwhelmed, and need to tidy up your mind, if you know what I mean.

In the meantime....why not book your holiday....with single beds. Perhaps even your own rooms, if that’s possible. It may put something back into your marriage, that has been missing. At least it’s worth a try.

Then, hopefully, you’ll start to feel stronger...mentally and physically, and you’ll be in a better place to help your son. All is not lost, because you’re estranged from your daughter. You’re just not ready to tackle that yet.

Just take small steps, and don’t try to do everything at once. Like I said....a tidy mind.

GP first...tomorrow. I wish you all the best. ?

So sorry you are feeling like this. I agree with going to see your GP. Sometimes we can feel overwhelmed by it all. Like MissA I too know how you feel. You are not alone. A GP on TV said last week that 90 percent of her patients now are people with mental health issues. Good luck.

No it wouldn’t be best if you weren’t here.
Apart from your sick son needing to know that his Mum is around if needed, you owe it to yourself to sort this depression out, he will at least tell you if you are depressed or are in a bad marriage.
Please go to your GP, he will be able to give you some anti depressants which I’m sure will help, or advise you to talk to a Counsellor.

Then you can take stock of your marriage and see what steps you need to take to sort it out.
I really hope you get some help soon.

It sounds as if it's an accumulation of things that have been getting you down.
Is it worth suggesting that you look at them all individually and see what you can do to help yourself feel a bit better?

For what it's worth, for the first time ever, I can truly say I know how you feel