Black Dog 12

Last night I had a disturbing dream. I don’t remember much but there was something about my little grandson not liking me and I said to some of my family that I might as well kill my self. Woke up upset.
A close friend is in hospital getting treatment for retaining fluid and heart failure.
All I want to eat is biscuits!
Had a treadmill test at hosp yesterday to check on heart. The girls who did it were lovely. I’ll get results from gp.
Thinking of all those in pain or sad.
Annie I hope you get your internet sorted soon.

Sorry HVDY. Just noticed you'd posted before my own and also struggle at the start of a day. It's very common with depression to try and motivate ourselves isn't it?

Sweetpeasue I'm not motivated at all - I only do things when actual plans have been made. In truth, when I wake up every morning, I wish it was still nighttime and I spend all day wishing my life away . Glad you've at least got an appointment. Yes, it's a wait, but once you've had this test, you'll get a better idea of what's wrong, then can get the correct treatment.

It was lovely to see my friend. She made us a delicious lunch of salad, vegetable rice, and home-made chicken kebab things. We chatted for 4 hours

Hope everyone is ok.

HVDY yes the waking in the morning when you have worries is always a bad time. I’m better in the evenings.
Yes it’s been very mild. DH and I went for a walk and got absolutely drenched in a sudden downpour but at least it wasn’t cold.
Sweetpeasue I’m a ‘hoper’ and a ‘glader’ too ?
Thank you for your kind words.
I’m glad your appointment has come through. 3 weeks is a long time but at least you’ve got a date. Let’s hope it provides some answers.
I’m pleased you made it out and bought some plants. We all need something to occupy our time.
Annie we miss you. I’m guessing you still have connection problems. x

So many 'hopes' in my post.Should think of another equivalent.

AnniebachHope the engineer has been by now. What a lot of things affected. You must be so fed up with it.
HVDY I wish I had your motivation. Hope you enjoyed lunch with your friend.
Doodle Sincerely hope you're feeling a little better. Sometimes it's all we can do to just keep going. I'm hoping the situation is more tolerable for yourself and family soon. Thinking of you.

I got my appt for Transit Test. Another 3 weeks I'm afraid. Everything takes so long. Had urine infection but it's feeling a little better today. Actually been out to local garden centre-- wow--. Bought some tomatoes plants for some containers.
Weather needs to warm up a bit now. Doesn't feel like June, here up north.

Hope all are OK and coping. X

Doodle. I'm not busy every day - in fact, I too struggle to get up and get dressed etc., most days. I'm only busy when I've got definite plans, otherwise, I sit around and do very little. I'm always very low when I wake up (a common problem with depression, I think).

It's been very warm here all day. Mr Cooper has enjoyed lounging about outside. Hope everyone is ok.

Annie any luck with you internet today?
Joce thank you. Hope you are ok and getting on alright.
HVDY you are always so busy. Up early and working.
I would rather stay in bed. When I’m down I don’t feel like getting up in the mornings. I am forcing myself out of bed at the moment (well not literally at the moment, I’ve been up for hours ?)
Hope your friend has a nice birthday and you have a good time together.
Hope the rest of the BDG are plodding on ok.

Anniebach Oh, not again . Who's your broadband provider? Would you be able to switch to a different one?

Doodle We never stop worrying about our children and grandchildren, it's what we do as mums, isn't it? I hope things settle down.

It's a bright, sunny morning. I was up at 6, changed my bed, had the washer on twice, and I'm going to see my friend - she's making us lunch - to give her her birthday presents. I hope everyone manages to have a decent day x

Evening all,
Annie I thought my internet was bad I think yours can beat mine ??Doodle thinking of you sending you a warm hug and prayers..
How’s everyone else doing, thinking of you all.
Have a peaceful night sleep.
?

Annie not again. What is happening to your internet. You need all of those things. I hope they class you as a priority.
Hope you’re fixed soon.
HVDY thank you for your support.
I’m very up and down at the moment. Just hoping and praying things are ok with family.
Nice to have a day out with your DH. Hope you enjoyed your lunch.
Sweetpeasue Ellie Anne Candy hope you’re all ok, you too rafichagran and everyone. I wonder when scaredycat gets back from her trip.

Hi all x

Stand by a big moan coming up - no internet, no house phone,
no Alexa, no BritBox . Paid £7.99 for one day to BT to use internet, engineer will call , hopefully today or tomorrow, to fix it .

How is everyone?

Doodle Hope you're ok. We're all on here to support each other.

Candy6 We all take comfort from this thread.

EllieAnne Iron tablets will help. I was on them for 6 months a few years ago, and felt much better when my iron levels were back to normal.

Anniebach Did you enjoy the jubilee concert on tv? How are you today?

rafichagran, SweetpeaSue, everyone who posts on here - I hope you're all getting on ok.

It's a grey, wet day here again. I didn't go to aqua aerobics - my friend wasn't going anyway, but my husband has got the day off work, so we're going to go out for lunch and then faff about round Wilko and B&M!

Hope everyone is managing to have a decent day (despite the autumnal type of weather) x

Sweetpeasue thank you. Not so good tonight. Bit of a wobble.
Yes all the Jubilee programmes have been fun. Hope you have managed to enjoy them too.
Ellie Anne you post when you feel like it. No pressure here.
I wonder if your anaemia could be affecting your mood. Lack of iron can make you fatigués and listless. Perhaps some iron supplement may help you feel better.
Hope everyone is ok. Annie did you watch all the Jubilee concert. I loved the Queen and Paddington bear.

Sorry I’ve not posted much. Been very Down since dh came back from Yorkshire. The surgery wanted me to have repeat blood test as1st ones showed anaemic.2nd one did too and it’s very low so I have to go on iron. They don’t think there is a heart problem but referring me anyway. I m not worried yet. Sorry for all of you who are suffering in any way.

Candy6 Thankyou for your kind words. It's a shame about the boat trip. We take pot luck in our holiday weather don't we. Hope you had some good days though.
, Doodle* Thinking of you and hoping you are coping OK and it all doesn't affect your tummy too much.

Hope everyone was uplifted a little by the united good will of so many over the Bank Holiday. Have a peaceful night everyone. X

rafichagran thank you for your kindness. I’m in a bit of a up and down state at the moment. Hope you are ok.
Candy please always feel able to come and chat here. We may not have the answers but we do care.
I hope the treatment helps you. Sometimes we have hiccups along the way.
Is everyone ok today?

Doodle Thank you for your kind thoughts. No there’s no support group I know of, I just reach out where I can (groups like this) and ring a helpline when things are bad. I’ve got friends but never like to bother them. Sometimes I just need someone to talk to. I’m so sorry you had some bad news. Life can be so difficult at times. I do hope you are managing the worry and are able to get on with life with some positivity.
Sending you a big hug.
Anniebach thank you too for your wise words, quote and prayer. Very meaningful. I will try them. I hope you are well.
HowVeryDareYou I’m glad you had a nice jubilee event. I think these type of events are great for bringing people together. We’ve missed our local ones due to being away but from what I’ve seen, they were successful. So much relies on the weather doesn’t it? But at least you managed to enjoy most of it.
Sweetpeasue I’m sorry you’ve been in pain. I hope you feel better today and your Doctors get it sorted for you soon. I often feel the uncertainty of waiting for a diagnosis is worse because at least once you’ve got one, you can start to move forward with specific treatments. I really hope you get sorted soon.

To everyone else on here - I hope you have a good day. It’s raining where I am today. Was supposed to be going on a boat trip - well that’s not going to happen now ☔️. Take care everyone. I hope I’ve not missed anyone out.

Doodle Sorry to hear you have had upsetting news. Look after yourself.

Evening all. Thank you for your kind thoughts.
I get by most of the time but must admit I am very worried at the moment.
Annie I have never heard that expression but I will remember it , Don’t look back you’re not going that way. Looking back at some things brings me a lot of sadness. I will try to remember that.
HVDY how are you doing? What a lovely Jubilee thing to do. I hope you enjoyed your time in the park. Hope all your DGC are ok too.
Sweetpeasue sadly it is ongoing. It goes through better times and then just when we think things are going well something happens that rocks the boat. I am praying we get through this and out the other side soon but thank you for your concern.
I expect your body is adapting to the Oromorph which is why you need more to maintain the same level of relief.
I do hope and pray you get an answer to your problem soon. Do you know when you will be having the tablet thing.

Sleep well all and take care. X

DoodleOh I'm very sorry to hear that you've had bad and upsetting news. I do hope it's something that will be shortlived and not ongoing. Thinking of you and sending my love.
Annie I love that saying'Don't look back, you're not going that way'. I've never heard it before. I believe I can do far too much reminiscing.
HVDY Glad you've had a good day. I'm afraid the weather hasn't been good here either. Very cold.
Candy6 Hope you've not been too bad today and are managing to enjoy your caravan break. Your Trauma is very real and very distressing to yourself. I hope the EMDR will be successful for you.

Thankyou for asking after me everyone. Im afraid I woke in pain as per usual at 4 and needed the Oramorph which is not working as it did so have been taking more. I'm feeling very low and scared about how long it will take for me to be sorted. I just want a diagnosis and don't understand why the Dr's don't know what's happening. I need to keep my head, I know but it's so hard.
Today not as bad as yesterday though.
Blackbird is still feeding their fledglings in our garden. So sweet.
Hope everyone is OK.

Doodle Sorry you've had some upsetting news. Whatever it is, I hope it will get sorted out somehow.

Anniebach, SweetpeaSue, Candy6, EllieAnne, everyone else on here - how has your day been?

It's been cooler and a bit grey today, but DH and I went to the local park for the jubilee event. We took our folding chairs and had a nice picnic. There were hundreds of people there, plus various stalls (some selling different types of food), plus entertainment on the stage - it ranged from an all-male choir to a rapper, a rock group and a girl band. An interesting few hours, before the weather turned cold and it started raining.

Hi all x

Doodle so sorry you have received really upsetting news,
sending a cwtch. X

Candy no trauma is trivial, if something / someone has caused you physical or emotional pain which has hit you like
a thunderbolt and it haunts you, it’s a trauma.

Acceptance ? For me ‘Serenity Prayer’ ,

‘God grant me the serenity to accept the things a cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.’

Or this - ‘Don’t Look Back Your Not Going That Way’.

You can share here what you are comfortable to share, we are here for each other , x

How is everyone?

Very mixed day today. Lovely visit with DS1 and nice lunch out in the sunshine. Had some really upsetting news this morning which is making me very sad and worried.
Oh Candy what a disappointment about your EMDR. Perhaps it’s just a glitch and it will help.
It is good your daughter is more resilient. Those of us who dwell and ruminate on things can suffer a lot from anxiety.
We used to have a caravan too. I loved going there no matter what the weather. Just nice to have a change of scene. Hope you have a good time.
I don’t think men think about things the way women do. It is very difficult to cope with others depression or anxiety and many don’t know what to say. You say you feel very alone, is there a support group you could join or someone you could be put in touch with who has had similar treatment,
I wish I could help.
Sweetpeasue it happened when he brushed his teeth before bed. He said it just suddenly became very lose. Still it’s out now. Hope you are feeling ok
Annie we saw and heard the planes from the fly past yesterday. Very exciting. I thought the Queen looked happy on the balcony but very frail when she went to light the beacon.
Have a good evening all x

Sweetpeasue Thank you for your comments and kind thoughts and yes, it’s finally stopped raining! Rain is another thing that drags me down, but then lots of things do at the moment. I hope you’re day is going well.
Anniebach you can moan all you like especially about the Council as I know how challenging they can be. It’s so frustrating. Thank you for your lovely words of comfort, comfort is just what I need right now I feel. And acceptance, I need to learn how to accept. Honestly, if people knew what my trauma was, they would consider it so trivial and I can fully understand that, I really can, especially when others have been through so much, but to me it’s huge, it really is. That’s why I need to build my resilience too. My husband speaks like it’s a choice and it’s absolutely not. I’d give anything not to feel this way. Anyway, I thank you for your support and kindness and hope your day has gone well.

Love to everyone ❤️