Black Dog 12

Anniebach That stomach-churning feeling is something we on BD know all too well. It's not nice. I hope it soon passes for you. What a pity about your carer. I've worked with some carers like that, and I had some nurses the same when I was in hospital. Fancy being given Insulin to help your appetite - it really is terrible.

Son1 and the girls have gone out, so I'm meant to be doing things at home but I can't be bothered. I'm doing what I do best - putting things off until another day.

HVDY the insulin was not given to help my appetite, it was
given as shock treatment because i refused ECT , the appetite
claim was a lie. I spoke of it to acknowledge how mental health
is now treated so differently

Sorry, Anniebach, I understand now. I suppose a lot of mental health problems were "brushed under the carpet", so to speak. Thank goodness things are better these days. x

Thank goodness mental health has moved on but still has a long way to go.
The resources are not there.
I would much rather live on my own but am quite financially dependent and he doesn’t seem to think anything is wrong. And we are constantly supporting one son and family.
My oldest gd started high school last week. She was so worried about it. Doesn’t cope well with changes. But so far seems ok.
Decided to go for a long walk this morning. Just couldn’t stay in the house. So I did 6 miles and am a bit weary.
Oh Annie I so wish I could help. I hope you can find a carer you get on with.

Ellie Anne thank you for explaining , you have no choice on
where to live, so many women in the same place as you.

So you are supporting one son and his family, your daughter has mood swings and needs your support , you husband doesn’t notice how distressed you are .

We will support you from a distance my love, not the same I
know but we care and will always listen.

We need a plan to help you find yourself, you can do it,

Sending you a cwtch x

Hello all. I am in a strange place at the moment. Someone I know (not family) sent me a message late last night which was very upsetting. They are in a bad way and I am powerless to help.
I just hope they are ok . Kept me awake for a long time
Scaredycat . I shouldn’t complain about ironing as I don’t do much. Only me and DH here. He does have a clean shirt every day though which is where most of the ironing comes from. He isn’t into t shirts or polo tops.
I do hope your nephews test results bring some peace of mind. Whatever the issue is, there is so much they can do these days. I hope he is fine.
HVDY that’s ok I find it hard to keep track of who said what too. Yes I listen to music sometimes too. I use headphones so I can have the volume up without disturbing anyone. DH often finds me bopping in the kitchen whilst ironing.
Sorry about the palpitations. Have you got something worrying on your mind?
annie your first sentence describes me to a T.
Your comment about your carer reminded me of my dear mum who lost her voice and could only whisper. People used to shout at her because they thought she was deaf but there was nothing wrong with her hearing. Glad your daughter is looking for someone else.
That tale of your hospital treatment is quite awful.

HVDY I hope you are having a bit of a rest while they are all out.
Annie I’m sure if they did such things these days they could get into serious trouble. Mental health was something to be ashamed of and kept quiet. Glad that isn’t the case now but I wish there was more help for people especially the children.
Ellie Anne I hope your DGD is ok. School can be such a scary place for some. You are in such an awful place. Your son is so lucky you are more concerned with caring for and helping him than you are with your own happiness.
Another cwtch coming your way from me too.

Doodle You're a very kind and understanding person, that's why the person you know has shared their worries. It's difficult, though, when you can't offer help. I started having palpitations a few years ago, but didn't go anywhere about it. It turns out my heart rate is too fast, so I'm now on beta blockers. Perhaps the dosage will be altered when the results of the heart monitor have been looked at. I'm not worried about anything.
EllieAnne You're in a very difficult and unhappy position. Would you be able to rent a flat? Or share with a friend? I know what you mean about supporting family - our eldest son has been with us for almost 3 years now.

I hope everyone on BD has a relaxing evening. It's really dark here, and it's been raining x

Hi all. I hope those who are feeling low begin to feel brighter. I live in a village/hamlet We have nothing just a post box ha ha. We rent a field for the poultry. We have a couple of geese that love a cuddle. Proper head on shoulder cuddle. And the buff Orpington chickens can be so sweet. My heart is with my cats. I adore them. 3 of them just walked home down the farm track with me. I face time my DD and my beautiful GDs. I love talking to them little one just walks round saying "hi nanny hi nanny" that's telling my DD to video call me!

Doodle How awful that you're left with this worry for someone. It must place a terrible burden on your shoulders. I do hope you hear that they are OK so it puts your mind at rest. I agree with HVDY in that you've a sympathetic and caring nature.
EllieAnne I'm so sorry you're back in this anxious and depressing situation. I really don't know how you can live in such an impossible way. It must be heartbreaking. It's amazing to me that your husband is so unaware of your pain and is oblivious to the atmosphere. I don't know what to suggest but you surely can't carry on like this. Your walks must be providing you with an escape from the atmosphere at least. You are a capable and loving person. ?

To all that I've not mentioned on BD I wish you all a peaceful night.

HVDY I started with palpitations about 6 months after the Hysteroscopy. I was given beta-blockers too. I hope that the heart monitor doesn't find anything too serious. My palpitations subsided after a while but have now returned. Think mine are just related to stress and nothing major. Hope you have an undisturbed night.

Hi all x

Doodle prayer my love , hugs x

Ellie Anne have you told your husband how you are struggling, I do mean sit down and pour it out , no matter if he
remains silent . Are you on medication? x

HVDY I doubt people know how just how mental health was
viewed, when I had those few weeks in hospital, we were living in a police house, my husband was moved to another town to
save me embarrassment, I went in from one house and came out to a house 25 miles away, it meant kindly . I have been involved with help for mental health illnesses since x

How is everyone?

HVDY glad your palpitations are being looked into. Hope the medication helps. Pleased it’s not due to worry over something.
nanny it sounds as though you actually live in a peaceful place. Your animal and bird family sound like good companions. I’m glad you have contact with your DD and DGD. So nice the little one likes to talk to you.
Sweetpeasue that’s kind of you. I haven’t heard back from my friend but haven’t given up hope and am still praying.
Hope you are having a better day. It’s so hot here I’ve got the fan on and still boiling.
Annie I have been praying for my friend here and at church this morning. Asking God to take care of her no matter where she is now.
Must have been so hard for you moving to another town. I think your own problems have given you such empathy for others. We do cherish your kindness and understanding on BD.
Take care all x

Anniebach What appalling treatment you suffered. Nobody should have had to move away like that. Dreadful. x

How's everyone been today? It's been SO humid here (my hair is like candyfloss in this weather). My brother's wife, the one with Alzheimer's, has been staying with her sister this week, and their other sister from Wiltshire has been here, looking after them both and taking them out, cooking dinner, etc. It's the Wiltshire's sister's birthday today, so I met up with them this morning, gave her a card and gift, and we had a short walk round a country park then went for a carvery lunch, then back to mine for a cuppa. My brother's having this week alone and is enjoying it. x

HVDY- I,m sorry you are troubled with palpitations - such a horrible feeling.hope your results come through soon and they can get your meds sorted . Early morning is definitely the worst time isn’t it.
We saw my daughters cats yesterday and they are settling in well- just not too keen on each other at the moment!!
What a lovely get together for,you this morning with all your sisters in law- must have been great to all be together.
It’s hot and humid here at the moment but rain is forecast later - in fact a weather warning!! From one extreme to another.
Annie- I hope your anxiety will lessen soon- all those old familiar symptoms .
Your new carer needs to rethink her attitude. You are right it’s like people who talk over the head of those in wheelchairs or loudly and slowly to those who look different.
Like you my Mum was very frightened she would be given ECT in hospital but thank goodness she wasn’t.
Nanny- what would we do without FaceTime when we can’t be with our loved ones. Your little GC sounds adorable.
SweetPeaSue- so sorry your palpitations are back- you are probably right they are stress related but very unpleasant to experience.
Doodle- I do hope you hear better news of your friend - they are obviously someone you care a great deal about.
No test results yet for my nephew and he’s had more today but he’s doing ok- hospital is a big challenge for him.
EllieAnne- you are living in constant stress. Your husband appears to be hiding his head in the sand and trying to ignore what is in front of him, So,hard for you - know that we are all here for you and want to support you.
Glad your GD got on well her first week at her new school- you must be very proud of her.
Today we have been out with our eldest GD and 2 GGC before school starts next week. We went to a castle where they could play and dress up and then had a picnic. To say I am tired is not enough- these last few months I am really starting to feel my age and finding it hard to cope with. I am so lucky to be able to do things like this but dealing with AF and HA makes it difficult - other worries too. As I have said before I ,m not good at talking about my feelings but I know you,ll understand .
Love to all

Annie That's was such an awful way to be treated--being moved to another town like that. You were already very fragile and to treat you as if your illness was something you should feel ashamed of was so wrong. I'm old enough to remember those times too when mental illness was treated so differently. My mother was very close to having ECT when in hospital. Thank goodness that attitudes have changed since then.
Scaredycat I hope you get a good rest tonight and will wake refreshed. You've had a busy day with your GC and GGc and you also have the worries about your sister and nephew, plus the AF. Sometimes things can weigh heavily on us and build up. Hope you feel better tomorrow.
HVDY I love a Carvery meal. So under-rated lately but it's my favourite choice. Hope the beta-blockers will start to work for you soon. It can be quite tireing to have palpitations.
Doodle I do hope you hear from your friend soon . You won't be able to rest until you know she's safe and well. I'm sorry this has all come on top of your other worries. Hope you can rest tonight.
Nanny I was thinking about how long it must take every night to put all your animal away. I knew someone with lots of chickens and she said they always knew when she went out at a certain time and followed each other into their coop. I'm a little wary of Geese though.
EllieAnne I do hope you've had a better day today. I feel helpless as to what to say really. My instinct is that you can't keep all these feelings hidden inside yourself without making yourself ill. Thinking of you.

Hope everyone has a decent night's sleep.

sweetpeasue one of the geese was attacking me about 3 nights ago so when I went up the following night I walked with a huge branch with leaves in front of me! Naughty thing he is. Someone asked what snakes I have. I have 2 royal pythons. Very docile ones.
I do hope you are all doing ok. Xx

ScaredyCat They weren't all my sisters-in-law. One was, but the other 2 were HER sisters. I'm glad you had a nice day with your GD and GGC.

SweetPeaSue I've been on beta blockers since my stroke (13 months) but perhaps need a stronger dose, we'll see.

I hope everyone on BD has a decent day today. It's grey and miserable here today, but DH is off work and we're going with Son1 and the GDs to Leeds for the day. (I hope there won't be too much walking). I appear to have pulled a muscle in my neck, and it was incredibly painful all night . Love to all x

Hi everyone

I've been reading recently about how mental and physical health is connected.

More funding in mental health could mitigate the cost of later physical health.

It's so important to look after yourselves, I know that people with mental health issues can be so caring and considerate towards others who are having a rough time in life, and that often means feeling what they feel and a huge cost to themselves.

Here is an article about spoon theory, this applies to mental and physical health

mentalhealthathome.org/2019/01/28/spoon-theory-mental-illness/

It's supposed to help you think in such a way that you don't give too much of yourself and help you plan your time and needs.

For me, working with children doesn't cost many spoons at all which is why I feel energised at work.

Evening all. Been a busy day today. Out and about.
HVDY my hair goes like that too. Heat or drizzle.
Nice visit for your SIL to have her sisters with her. Good you could enjoy the day with them.
Sorry about your neck hope it didn’t cause you too much trouble today. I have never been to Leeds. Is it nice there?
Scaredycat I hope your daughter’s cats settle down. My son and DIL have a cat that rules the roost, the two big dogs are scared of her. We had torrential rain for many hours this morning. The ground certainly needed it.
No not heard any more from my friend. I am worried for her.
Glad your nephew is doing ok. No one likes being in hospital do they.
What a lovely day with your DGD and her children. Dressing up in a castle, what could be better ? ?
Sweetpeasue thank you for your kind thoughts. Hope you have had a better day today. Is your pain any easier?
Nanny naughty goose. We have lots round here in the river but they are so used to people they don’t cause any trouble.
How is your DH doing?
Violetsky I will look at your link in a minute. Yes I imagine mental health issues can lead on to physical health problems too. Worry and anxiety isn’t good for us but so hard to control.
Hope you have had a good day, you too Annie

doodle how sweet of you to ask about DH . Hes holding his own. He had his dialysis tube put in his stomach Monday as it will also take some pressure off his heart xx

Doodle Just got in from a day in Leeds - it's very big city, lots to do. We went to the medical museum, which is fascinating. Had lunch at a Wetherspoon's, then went to the tropical house, which was great (very warm and humid in there), plenty of birds, animals and butterflies. Then went to the city museum, which was very interesting, spread over 4 floors. Had dinner at Harwick Inn, near Hardwick Hall. It's been a busy day. x

I hope everyone on BD has had a decent day. I'm really tired now, and looking forward to my bed x

Doodle Oh Doodle I'm sorry you still haven't heard from your friend. I do hope she let's you know soon how she is. You must feel terribly worried.
I thank you for asking about me but doesn't feel right to complain when so many have problems. Still getting pain and uterus pain is set off by bowel movements today so taken Oramorph. Very anxious. Hope you're OK with tummy amidst all your worry..
VioletSky Thankyou for the link to the 'Spoon Theory' I found it v interesting. Especially how socialising can cause introverts to use more spoons and yet increases the spoons for extroverts. We're all so different aren't we and the theory applies well for people with. M.E. in finding ways to pace themselves. I guess all our energies are replaced and depleted by different things. Hope you're well today.
HVDY Do you have any idea how you strained your neck? Sounds quite painful indeed. It's surprising how much we use our neck muscles for just holding up our heads and adjusting our movements like lying down. You will be so frustrated.
Annie How are you today? I hope you've managed to put in place a different carer. The other new one for the weekend certainly didn't sound suitable at all.
Scaredycat I'm glad your nephew is home again. You sounded a little tired in your last post. Is there any chance of a trip to see your son in the near future? I do hope so.
Nanny Your naughty goose sounds so scary. You walking with a large tree branch in front of you seemed so funny but Im sure it couldn't have been. I hope your husband gets the hang of this dialysis and what it entails. I don't know much about it but will it take a small part of his day to monitor it? I hope he will feel better over the coming days with this.
Much love.

Hope I've not left anyone out. Take care all and hope you're OK to GSM.

No problem

Everyone seems so worn out and lots going on, just need to save some of those spoons for yourselves