Black Dog 12

ScardedyCat Glad your nephew is getting on ok. I expect he's been given medication, as well as advice about his diet/exercise, etc. It was strange driving my new car, the brakes are very sharp. I haven't yet looked at some of the features such as Bluetooth connectivity for music etc., or the parking assistance thing. My brother is a huge pain. Let's say that I won't actually miss him when he's no longer here. I know that sounds awful, but he's not at all likeable.

I hope everyone on BD has had a decent day. It's been really warm here. Mr Cooper woke me at 5.30am - not to go out, but for some food (little imp) x

I will just post a short message today if that's OK, I'm extremely tired. Saw the consultant yesterday. Was extremely anxious as been awake many nights with hyperventilating and panic attacks apart from pain. I started to talk to him, found myself coming out with everything that troubled me. He listened this time. Because of my pain, that is linked with the past, I voiced my fears over what happened. He listened so I did let him see letter. Wasn't going to as it contained sensitive information. He explained a lot of things, the worst (which I wanted to know). He gave me time. I'm very scared but glad appt over with. Saw counsellor today. I'm amazed at how she helps and listens and let's me speak and believes me.

I hope your hip is not too bad Doodle. You're such a kind person. Scaredycat, you've been helpful to me and I love your posts. Wish I could write like that. HVDY - - I really did cry when my old red 13 Yr old Escort was driven away on the back of a pick up truck. I'd passed my test in it but it had given up ghost for good. Traded for £100 scrap. Never be as attached to a car as I was to that one. Enjoy your new one. Annie, I do hope you're feeling a bit better and that you are healing in your time. I'm very sorry you had upsetting news. Hope you're managing to cope EllieAnne. It must be so hard for you. I'm sure your walks and watching the sea will help a little at times. Nanny hope your animals are all well and you are managing. Joce, I don't know you so well but I do think of you. I believe you have your puppy to love and look after. Violetsky--Said it before but its such a gorgeous name. How lovely that you enjoy your job. The children must bring you so much joy and I'm sur if you enjoy it so much that you must bring so much to them.
Night all. x

SweetPeaSue That's good that the consultant listened to what you wanted to say. It's high time someone did. Counsellors are very good listeners, and it's often good to talk to someone like that who has had no involvement in your original care. I hope you have a good night's sleep x

Oh thankyou HVDY I do hope Mr Cooper let's you sleep too, bless him.

Violetsky how nice to have a job you enjoy so much. You obviously like working with children. Some people like having a structured routine in their lives. I hope you have settled in again now and are feeling better.
HVDY you seem to do a lot for a brother you’re not too keen on. Having said that, blood is thicker than water as they say. I would like to think he appreciates what you do for him.
I was very lucky. I had a lovely older brother who was kind and caring. I miss him and my dear SIL.
Hope you have a good drive in your new car. So exciting.
Poor Mr Cooper fancied a little snack. ?. He’s cheeky isn’t he.
Scaredycat I expect your nephew will find it difficult to adapt to begin with. It’s probably been quite a shock for him. Over time his confidence will return and he will settle down I’m sure. Have you been to see him, sorry I can’t remember if he’s a long way away or not?
Hip is slightly better now but I don’t know what caused it. Just old age probably. Tissue issue finally resolved with one of the sticky roller pads. Took ages to get the bits off all the washing but it’s done now………until the next time ?
Sweetpeasue so pleased the consultant listened to your concerns. I hope things will improve now you have been to see him. Is there anything else in the pipeline for you?
So pleased to hear the counselling is helping and you are able to let your feelings out.
I hope you have a good nights sleep tonight and just let your mind and body rest. Hopefully no pain either.
Dear Annie we miss you so. Hope you are coping. Thinking of you with love and prayers. x

Thankyou Doodle. Nothing else in the pipeline. Nothing wrong inside bowel as scans all proved. Looking like all Gynaecological. X

Doodle I couldn't not help my brother, I'm not the same as him, I would help a person if they needed it. I must sound awful saying I don't like him, but he's his own worst enemy (our dad was the same), he's alienated so many people because of his attitude. He only ever rings me when he's got some problem or worry, he's not interested in anyone else's problem. Sorry, I'm moaning. We had 2 brothers in between us, both died many years ago. I'm going to have a drive tomorrow and get used to some of the functions on this car. I love it x

Mr Cooper is such a spoilt boy - he had a tin of tuna at 6, and then was crying for 30 minutes at 9, for his supper (he's only fed FOUR times a day). Now he's got his own way, he's gone to sleep . Goodnight, all x

HVDY I think you're being extremely kind and very caring to help your brother as you intend to do. You are doing all you can and nobody could do anymore. There's no doubt that some family members can be very difficult. I think you are being extremely kind.

SweetPeaSue Thanks. My brother has got nobody else - his son in Norwich had a stroke 16 months ago, lives in Norwich (my brother hasn't seen him for about 3yrs). His other son lives 7 miles away, never visits. My brother's wife has got a daughter she never sees, and a son who visits every couple of months. I'll help, of course, but I resent it when he hasn't ever cared about me or my family (and I feel bad for feeling like this). Ah well, I'm overthinking again. Hope you had a better night x

We can choose our friends but...
I'm not surprised you feel resentful at times. Don't knock yourself out too much though. Not too bad a night thanks.

SweetpeaSue My bloody brother - he wanted me to go to his house (8 miles away) and sit with his wife whilst he went for a blood test and ECG. I said no, as he thinks nothing of leaving her alone when he sees his mate once a week for breakfast. Anyway, I had to have my hair cut. Glad you had a better night. I had a dream about Idris Elba (and was very disappointed when I woke up )

How has everyone been today? It's funny weather here - mild but grey and very still. I can't hear even one bird tweeting.

SweetPeaSue- I,m so glad you were able to say all that you needed to say to the consultant and that he gave you the time to do so. You must have felt so relieved to be able to have done this at last. Hope you continue to see your counsellor for a while as it sounds like she understands you and it is good for you to talk to somebody who really listens.
Doodle- my nephew has mental health issues too which make it quite hard for him. He,s fine living alone but it is hard for him right now. We haven’t been to see him as my sister and all her family live a long way from us. We will see them in the Autumn hopefully.
I,m glad your hip pain is lessening- it’s not easy getting older is it? . I really do believe in Use it orLose it but it gets harder as the time goes by doesn’t it.
Ah you must miss your brother so much - I,m so sorry xx
HVDY- so sad you too have lost 2 of your brothers and that the remaining one is such a difficult person to love. You are so kind to care for someone who is so uncaring. How can he not see his son who has been so poorly?
Glad you put your foot down and had your hair done.
Enjoy getting out and about in your new car - so glad you are pleased with it.
Mr Cooper obviously still loves his food - that’s really good for an older cat isn’t it. He has you well under his paw!!
EllieAnne,VioletSky,Joce,Nanny,and anyone I,ve forgotten have a good night.
Annie- sending you love - miss you

ScaredyCat I hope your nephew gets on alright. Does he have any carers or anyone to help him? My brother didn't visit his son after the stroke as he said the son "wouldn't want to be seen like that", which I can well believe. The son said a few months ago that he feels ok to have visitors now (and I told my brother I'd stay with his wife for a few days if he wanted to go) but my brother isn't going to go, he says because he doesn't want to see his son's disabled daughter "like she is" until she's had an operation for Scoliosis - the operation can only be done in Cambridge and the family are trying to get a house there - she's severely handicapped with Cerebal Palsy, can't speak, talk or sit etc. My brother is only ever interested in what's happening in his own tiny life. Selfish. Mr Cooper is a little menace but we love him. He's doing well for 19 (or thereabouts)

I'm just wondering what to have for dinner. I've been trying to lose weight, and have lost about 8lbs. It's the start of a very long road......

Hvdy well done on losing weight. I need to try but I keep snacking. I’m trying to walk every day but it’s not helping.
I’m sorry so many of you are struggling with health and family problems.
Annie if you are reading this I’m thinking of you. Look after yourself.

Sweetpeasue it must be a relief to know the bowel is ok. At least that’s one good thing. I know the bowel thing has been a worry it’s such a basic part of life. The gynae problems must be able to be resolved too. How have you been feeling today?
HVDY your brother is lucky to have you. Family is important I can understand your need to help him.
Glad you like your car. Hope you enjoy driving it.
When we love an animal it’s hard to resist their pleas. Because they rely on us to care for them it’s hard not to give them what they want especially when they are older. I like tuna too so not surprised it’s one of Mr Coopers favorites.
You brother does sound very much like someone interested only in himself. Is his wife the same or is she more inclined to be concerned for others.?
I am extremely lucky in that my close family all care for each other. My mum and dad were caring people but my fathers family not so much. Many of them didn’t get on with each other. Families are all different aren’t they?
Wow I’ve just read you’ve lost 8lbs. That amazing. Well done. I must lose weight too but not doing at all well. I love my food.
Ellie Anne I have read that some people are addicted to food and enjoy eating more than others. I love food and can always eat snacks. I love sweet but savoury is my downfall. My SIL is so thin and hardly eats anything at all. I must lose weight though as I’m far too overweight for my height……not tonight though as I’ve got apple turnovers with cream ?
Scaredycat in some places there is follow up exercise classes for people with heart problems. It might be something that your nephew could look into. Exercise is good for mental health too and it might do him good to mix with others in the same boat.
How have you been today? My hip was better till I bent down to load the washing machine and have been in agony ever since. Im taking paracetamol and ibuprofen but it hasn’t helped. I’m not too bad sitting but moving is agonising. It’s more in my back than hip I realise now. Early night with painkillers and hope it’s better tomorrow.
Annie still thinking of you and hoping you’re ok.xx
Take care all x

HVDY Fantastic that you've managed to lose 8lbs. That's a great achievement, you must feel deservedly pleased about it. As women we always beat ourselves up about our weight and looks, far more than men. Although my weight's ok I really hate everything else about myself. My hair is falling out all over the shop. It sounds as if your brother intends to lean on you when you're
only just beginning to pick up the pieces of your new life after everything that's happened. Glad you kept your hair appt.
Scaredycat I hope you're OK and the AF is being kept at bay. I've planted some bulbs in a couple of outdoor pots today. I was thinking about your daffodil bulbs that were dug up by the fox. Could you put some wire netting or such like over the top until they come up? I have 10 apps left with counsellor. I've been on the list a long time.
AnnieI hope you are managing to heal a little and your weekend carer is working out OK.
DoodleI'm so sorry about your hip. It really sounds very painful. I believe the area just above the hip bone and towards the back can be a point of pain. It's where my husband had his steroid injection(afraid it's not worked for him). I hope the painkillers give you some relief and you can have a decent rest tonight. Crossed fingers it will feel a little easier in the morning.
I've had pain in uterus and in bowel today. It sets off uterus pain when I have bowels opened and vice-versa. Difficulty setting off urine flow and that can set off uterus pain too. I'm so scared about it all. Consultant said its possible he won't be able to see into uterus if it has lots of adhesions throughout womb. I don't know why it should be like that apart from the previous botched surgery. If the C word was found there he wouldn't continue on to do Laparoscopy. I'm feeling very uncertain about using BD as a crutch, even though everyone has been so helpful with support. It's not fair on others when I'm so low.

*Ellie Anne, Nanny Joyce and sorry if I've forgotten anyone. Hope you are all coping with this funny old world of ours and your individual circumstances. It's hard for everyone at times but reassuring that there are so many good caring people on Gransnet. Night everyone.

Sweetpeasue you are the very reason Black Dog exists. There are many chat forums on GN for those who want to chat about their day or discuss politics or family etc. Black Dog is for those who are struggling with life at any point in time so don’t ever feel guilty about posting here. We have all been low. You know that and when others have had a wobble you have supported them. It’s what we do on here. I hope your pain eases and you have a good night tonight. x

Thank you Doodle. Thank you all.

EllieAnne Thanks. I usually snack, on sweet stuff, but I'm trying not to. Hope you're ok.
Doodle My brother's wife is a lovely woman, very caring, but now she's got Alzheimer's, so can't be left alone for long. I'm sorry you've got a lot of pain, I hope the painkillers work tonight and that you can get some sleep.
SweetPeaSue It must get you down to keep having such pain and discomfort. Keep posting on BD. We all care about each other.
Anniebach I hope you're ok and that your weekend goes well with the carer.

Nanny, Joce and others who post on BD - hope you're all ok

Goodnight everyone, sleep well x

Just catching up with everyone's news

Life is so relentless at times

I was just congratulating my body for making it through the week and then got hot by IBS a few hours ago..

Taken all the possible tablets and hoping to try and sleep it off

Hope you all have a peaceful weekend

HVDY it’s nice that you got on well with your SIL but sad about the Alzheimer’s. Such an awful thing to have. I now understand why you go and stay with her sometimes.
Have you got your DGDs with you this weekend.
We are going out with our son and family for a meal tonight so I will be seeing mine. Just hope the back holds up.
I think I might have some sort of nerve problem in my back as the pain radiates from my back under my bottom and down one leg. Having had a couple of uncomfortable nights I was thinking of you Sweetpeasue and all you have to put up with.
Violetsky your post made me laugh a bit. The thought of telling your body it was doing ok . I suppose it is something we are all aware of as we get older. The aches and pains. The knees that used to get me up and down stairs that no longer accept that without complaining.
Sorry about your IBS. That’s difficult to control and deal with.
Do you follow a particular diet? Hope it eased off and you got a good nights sleep.
Annie and Sweetpeasue hope you are both of.

Doodle The GDs are here just for today (the mother wants them back tomorrow morning for some reason but they're back to school on Monday anyway). DH and I are going out later, to see his friend who plays and sings in pubs and clubs. I haven't been out in the evening since last year. It sounds like Sciatica, and you probably need much more effective painkillers. Naproxen is good but only available on prescription. Enjoy your meal out with your family x

SweetPeaSue- we are all here for each other so please keep on posting xx
VioletSky- hope your IBS eased off eventually and you managed to sleep ok in the end.
Doodle- maybe you have sciatica.Hope it doesn’t spoil your family evening and that you have a good time.
HVDY- Enjoy your time with your friend I,m glad you have that to do as I expect you were disappointed that the children were having to go home early.
Love to all the BDGxx

Thank you all. Just back home now. We had a lovely evening I. A nice Thai restaurant and really enjoyed it. Luckily enough my back was fine. The seats were comfy and after a ? or two I was quite comfortable.
HVDY I hope you enjoy your evening out.I expect your husbands DH will be pleased to have your support.
Yes back to school for a lot of the children Monday. Hope they get on,ok.
Scaredycat thank you we had a good night. Hope you have a good weekend too.
Sleep well everyone. Annie we miss you x

Think I’ve had too much to drink my post doesn’t make sense. ? I meant your DHs friend will be pleased with the support.