Fear of losing what I have left of my looks

I too thought the Queen looked far happier and more relaxed in the last year since the death of her husband.
My mother was put on anti depressants latterly and had that same twinkly smile seen in the ĺast photos of the late Queen.

I think the queen has looked far more radiant in the photos taken in her latter years.
Older, obviously, but beautiful because of all those years of life.
She is a prime example of ageing gracefully.

Luckygirl3

In understand where you are coming from, but I honestly think you are approaching this from the wrong direction. You are not losing your looks; you are acquiring new looks that equate with your age. It is only because society worships youth and you have been identified with your good looks for a long time that you cannot appreciate what you have.

I too was good-looking - I lost count of the people who told me I looked like Ali McGraw - and in my own way I still am. But I have the looks of someone who is about to be 74, not 24. And that is just fine. We have to be who we are at whatever age. I hate that what was a high-cheek-boned face has become a bit scraggy - and when I smile it has a hint of scary skull about it as I have lost flesh round my mouth.

But that it life - I am certainly not going to go for botox or anything else - what a waste of time and money!

Embrace who you are now - you have not suddenly become invalid or irrelevant just because you are 64!

Love this !

All the photos of our late Queen from childhood onwards made me think of this thread. Our smile is our connection to our youth.

Truthyruthy I think more ladies than you realise think along similar lines. Particularly ladies of similar age to you. I share some of your concerns. Please don't think you are alone in your thinking. Most of us don't talk about our fears of old age and what it brings. So it's easy to believe noone else has these feelings. Try to appreciate all the positives you have in your life that many others of our age don't have.

Gundy you sound just like myself ?

Sorry everyone
Just trying to get to grips with posting on here!

Wow Maude I'm impressed!

Truthyruthy Mon 05-Sep-22 13:13:48
Caleo

Truthyruthy, when you are old you will feel normal to be an old woman because most all women of your age will look as old as you.

It's okay to feel competitive as long as you don't obsess about it. Thoughts can be controlled.

Lesley you hit the nail on the head there!

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Add comment | Report | Private message | QuoteGermanshepherdsmum Mon 05-Sep-22 13:19:03
Oops, was that outing a poster’s real name

No Sorry. Just quoted the wrong messsge!

Esspee

I’m interested in how many recommend SPF50 as being essential to prevent you looking older.
I choose not to use sunscreen as I prefer to allow my body to protect me naturally. I also don’t wear make up as in my opinion make up is terribly ageing as well as harmful to your skin.
I do maintain my oestrogen levels with a tiny implant once every six months and the only medication I take is a beta blocker for a heart condition I was born with.
Among my peers I am always assumed to be the youngest, I have been mistaken for the daughter of two different friends one of whom is 5 years younger than me. I’m 73.
I couldn’t care less about wrinkles and when I (rarely) worry about the future all that concerns me is the possibility of needing personal care or dementia.
You really need help Truthyruthy. Please don’t waste your life fretting about losing your beauty. Enjoy the fact that you are alive and healthy.

What an interesting attitude towards the SPF Esspee!

Oops, was that outing a poster’s real name?

Caleo

Truthyruthy, when you are old you will feel normal to be an old woman because most all women of your age will look as old as you.

It's okay to feel competitive as long as you don't obsess about it. Thoughts can be controlled.

Lesley you hit the nail on the head there!

As a teenager always thought of myself as a rather plain girl. Perhaps because I had the sort of face that looked miserable when I was quite happy. Strangers often told me to cheer up when I was quite OK.

Perhaps because I had a very pretty best friend. We went to dances in the days when the girls stood on one side of the room and had to wait for a chap to come over and ask them to dance.

Quite often I spotted two chaps walking across the dance floor towards us. I always knew that the tall good looking chap was aiming for my best friend and I would get his friend with the thick specs.

Then one day at my best friend's house I met her tall good looking cousin who by some miracle actually fancied me. After a six year courtship we were married, fifty six years ago.

I thought when I was young that worrying about loosing my looks wouldn't bother me since I had none to lose. However when I look back at old photos I realise that I was actually not that bad looking. The fact is that most young women are quite lovely.

I may not feel as sad when I look in the mirror as an old woman who was a very beautiful young woman does, but I still look pretty awful. I am often taken for younger than I am, which is flattering, but looking like an ordinary sixty- something when you're in your seventies does not mean you are anything but "good for your age"

Madwoman11…to Truthyruthy…
Yes, you are correct in suggesting to socialize with other women! A book club, a round-robin lunch circuit, volunteering, etc. You’d be surprised at what a lift that is when you surround yourself with lovely gals to pal around with and talk. Women lift each other up! ( I failed to mention this in my message - sitting at the end of this stream.) USA Gundy

Congratulations! You are poised to cross the “threshold”… what I mean by that is you are in the majority of women who ponder about aging (some sooner, some later than you), but reading how well you have taken care of yourself, now give yourself the emotional FREEDOM of not worrying about the inevitable. Let nature take its course. It will gently carry you over the threshold where you will start thinking “I don’t give a damn what people think.” Do what makes you feel good and drop what is becoming a chore. Your attitude about feeling young inside will trump any outside changes and you’ll shine! Good luck.

Blondiescot

I guess that must be one advantage of never having had 'looks' to lose in the first place!

I was never one of the pretty ones either but feel fine now. Your comment made me think of that classic line from Coronation Street where Deirdre Barlow's mother Blanches says, "Good looks can be a curse, Deirdre. You and Ken have been lucky that way.." Ouch!

In understand where you are coming from, but I honestly think you are approaching this from the wrong direction. You are not losing your looks; you are acquiring new looks that equate with your age. It is only because society worships youth and you have been identified with your good looks for a long time that you cannot appreciate what you have.

I too was good-looking - I lost count of the people who told me I looked like Ali McGraw - and in my own way I still am. But I have the looks of someone who is about to be 74, not 24. And that is just fine. We have to be who we are at whatever age. I hate that what was a high-cheek-boned face has become a bit scraggy - and when I smile it has a hint of scary skull about it as I have lost flesh round my mouth.

But that it life - I am certainly not going to go for botox or anything else - what a waste of time and money!

Embrace who you are now - you have not suddenly become invalid or irrelevant just because you are 64!

Both Judi Dench and Claudia Cardinale are still totally stunning and they've never tried to hide or prevent their wrinkles. With both, I think it's the dazzling smile and the sparkling eyes.

?

Allsorts

Whoever said old age wasn't for sissies was spot on. Iam now invisible, but I use it to my advantage, think of my family some of whom died young, a couple of friends now gone. I'm not what I was, that's for the younger people, I enjoyed my life, despite the sad bits. Try not to look in the mirror once I've done the best with myself and face the day, don't dress old and like make up and getting my hair and nails done, just for my benefit really, it makes new feel a bit better about myself. Don't waste time wishing.

It was Bette Davis..

Whoever said old age wasn't for sissies was spot on. Iam now invisible, but I use it to my advantage, think of my family some of whom died young, a couple of friends now gone. I'm not what I was, that's for the younger people, I enjoyed my life, despite the sad bits. Try not to look in the mirror once I've done the best with myself and face the day, don't dress old and like make up and getting my hair and nails done, just for my benefit really, it makes new feel a bit better about myself. Don't waste time wishing.

It sounds like you’re doing fantastically well for 64, and you look younger.
Like other people have said you could try more therapy to help you deal with the realities of aging.
I could definitely do with that myself!
Taking a more hands on approach my friend recently had the most amazing face lift. She’s always been beautiful. She already looked younger than her age but now looks like her daughters old sister !
I’d do it like a shot if I had the money, although he’d need to be Kim Kardashian’s surgeon to make me even vaguely attractive, but I’d at least look unattractively younger ?

Hi Truthyruthy… I fully understand your feelings about getting older and losing your looks. I suffer from those same feelings. Maybe being able to share with someone who identifies with your similar struggles would help. Happy to send you my email address. X

Hi Truthyruthy. I fully understand your worries as I struggle with those same feelings. I was widowed 7 years ago. I can send you my email address if you would like to talk? Louise