Black DOG 13

Ellie Anne looks like we’re all thinking of you. Hope you’re ok.
You too Annie. Wondering how you are getting on. Hope you are ok x
HVDY dreams are strange things aren’t they. Sometimes you can see a connection to something that’s happened and other times they are scary and make no sense.
Hope your son gets on well in his new home. Things will be quiet for you at home, sadly make you miss Mr Copper even more.
Sweetpeasue yes jitters still going strong this morning. A bit on edge. Reading the papers seem so full of awful things.
It was a huge cauli. Some of it used as cauliflower cheese last night…….may be for several nights.
Hope today is a better day for you. 2 km I’m impressed.
Wyllow sorry your troubles are dragging out. Hope the solicitor can get a move on. Hope your spirits brighten as the day goes on.
Scaredycat how are you doing?

Hi Doodle yes the news makes for appalling reading and sometimes jittery. For me it’s a balance of keeping in touch with humanity at large and keeping self well. And goodness knows humanity and compassion needed all round!

ThankyouDoodle Will aim to get on bike again later. Hope your jitters ease off for you later. The news is so appalling isn't it? I love cauliflower cheese. Looks like you might have enough for us all!
Wyllow3 Thankyou. I too hope the rest of your day gets better.
HVDY Thinking of you and hoping you're OK. x

Doodle The last of Son1's stuff has gone, except his 50in tv, which he'll pick up later. When we got home, I automatically looked up at the stairs, half-expecting Mr Cooper to come down them. Ah well, I'll get used to it. The news is appalling, isn't it? I read the Daily Mail online but scroll through most of it as so much of what goes on is beyond our control.
Wyllow I hope you get things sorted out soon re the solicitor and your ex.
SweetpeaSue I'm ok, thanks. DH and I had a pub lunch, so that was good.

We got home to find a package on the doorstep - a delivery of roses and Lillies. No card with them so I don't know who they're from (hmm). Could be Son2 or his girlfriend, or one of my friends.

I'm going to have a little sleep soon. x

Wyllow- glad you had better night - it will be such a relief once you have all that paperwork finalised won’t it. Your mind will be clearer and you,ll feel safe. But then comes this morning and it’s getting to you again. I,m so sorry and wish I could help you but I,m sure there will be better times ahead for you.
HVDY- glad the move went off well. Yes it’s hard when you have had a pet for that long it takes ages to stop looking for them. We had to have our cat PTS last year and I still look behind me when I open the door to,outside in case he escapes!!
Glad you had some lovely flowers whoever sent them!! Hope you had a nice nap.
Doodle - sorry the jitters are still bothering you. It’s funny how some dreams really unsettle you and can remain in your memory for ages. I hate the ones that wake you in fright and such a relief when you realise it’s not real. Oh lovely everlasting Cauli Cheese!!
I,m ok thanks just really tired - very disturbed sleep and early waking. A busy mind at the moment.
SweetPeaSue- sorry you felt bad. Please don’t loathe yourself - you are the nicest ,kindest person having to deal with much pain and worry yet always have compassion for others.
Annie- I hope you are ok - sending lovexx
EllieAnne- thinking of you
Love to all BDGxxx

Doodle Yes, today has been better day. We took ourselves off to beach this afternoon and had some fresh-air. Then on bike later--🚴😇😂
Husband dyed my roots as my hair is so awful.Have lost a lot over the years since my 40s but been drastic shedding over last couple of years. Get so embarrassed. Hope your not as jittery Doodle.
HVDY How lovely that you've received some flowers like that. Strange there not being a card. Have you found out who they're from yet? It's lovely to be given a gift that's so unexpected. Right at a time you need one too. 😊
Scaredycat I hope you get a decent sleep tonight as sounds like you need it. Overactive minds are often the culprit to rob us of our sleep. What a lovely thing to say about me, that's lovely of you. I really don't think I deserve it though. I really am grateful that I'm not getting the pain that I had but I think I've aged 2 decades over last 2 yrs. I know I shouldn't be bothered too much but I am. So you see I'm not so nice and I hate myself for that too. Pleasant dreams tonight for you and Doodle.
Whiff Do hope you are managing to cope with your flare of pain and it is leaving you in peace for a while.

Annie*EllieAnne Wyllow3*Joce Violetsky Hope you're all OK. Wishing all a peaceful night.

ScaredyCat You understand the sadness of losing a beloved cat too x
Doodle I found out that the flowers were from Son2's GF. She's a lovely girl, and has got 2 cats (and a dog) herself.

I didn't have a sleep, I faffed about instead. Just going to Son2's friend's now, to take him a 30 litre bag of cat litter and 36 pouches of food, plus a new bed, all unopened, all ordered only on Friday. He had 2 brother cats, one was hit (and died) by a car on his road, about a year ago.

Hope all on BD has a restful evening x

Thank you all for your concern.
I have seen my grandchildren but not on my own.
Things at home still bad. I only speak when I have to and go out as much as possible.
He’s still acting like nothing is wrong.
I’m worried about Annie. Hope we hear something soon.

EllieAnnePlease excuse me if I'm being too intrusive, and I understand entirely if you don't or can't answer my question, but can you think of a time when everything was right between you and when it started to go wrong. I do feel for you as it must be complete hell living this way. It is destroying your self esteem and impacting your MH so badly. You must have more strength than you think for enduring all of this. I believe you're a good person. I know you do much for your family and you need to acknowledge all of that. Take care of yourself too.

Ellie Anne I’m glad you’ve seen your grandchildren. Are you still planning on asking your DIL if you can visit on your own.
Like Sweetpeasue I think it must be so hard for you living like this. Having to go out all the time. You obviously care for your children so much that you put up with it for their benefit.
Wyllow in the past I have given up reading the papers or watching news when I’ve been in a bad way. It all becomes too much. How have you been feeling today?
Sweetpeasue I do think I’m getting a bit better on the bike. Not that I’m doing more but I think it’s getting a bit easier.
HVDY I know that feeling well. I was the same when we lost our dogs. You get so used to their company. What a kind thought from your sons girlfriend. That must have been a comfort.
Scardycat yes I feel I can’t settle to anything. My mind is wandering all over the place. Sounds like you’re not sleeping well either. Hope you get a better night tonight.
Peaceful night all & Annie thinking of you xx

I'm so glad you came in EllieAnne and so wish we could help xx glad there has been a start of seeing grandchildren and hope it can grow. Being stuck with awfullness at home is the hardest of all I think.

Read all your days BD's bit tired to comment except to send sympathies for hair loss Sweetpeasue and HVDY lovely flowers!. I've sorted the forms out for what should be the last bit of divorce - dropping them by to Ex at neutral place tomorrow then arranged a coffee in public place on Saturday for signing them off. Cross fingers and toes. Hopefully the last time I have to "not say" stuff.

Best nights you can get BD's. The nicest thing today was an afternoon sleep!

Has anyone heard from Annie?
Thinking of you all and hoping you have as peaceful a night as possible. Sorry I can't speak to you all individually. I wouldn't have enough energy (CFS/ME). xx

No, am concerned nadateturbe and dont think other thread either.

Me too. We pm each other now and again but I'm not getting replies.
Fingers crossed we hear soon. I'm off to bed now. I hope all goes well for you tomorrow . Public place is good idea. xxx

Like many, I’m concerned we haven’t heard from Annie for a while. I’ve also had PMs from others who miss her. I have PMd Annie too and not had a reply yet which is unusual.
If you’re reading Annie we do hope you’re ok and miss you lots. x
Sweetpeasue have you seen your GP about hair loss. That must be so distressing. Could you invest in a hairpiece or some thing that might help. My DIL had long hair extensions put in her hair once on a temporary basis just with a Velcro like attachment. Hope you are having a better day.
Wyllow do hope you can finalise things soon and then be free to say and do what you want.
Have a good day all.

SweetpeaSue Could your hair loss be to do with hormones? I know a woman who lost almost all of hers when she had Shingles. She keeps it combed to one side and wears a hairpiece, and it looks very nice. You're a kind, caring lady, with a lot of compassion. Think better of yourself. x

EllieAnne You must have been married a long time, it is too late for some type of relationship counselling? Neither of you can be happy with things as they are.

Wyllow I hope things are soon finalised for you with your ex.

ScaredyCat Hope you had a bettr night's rest.

Doodle and all n BD - hope your day has been going well.

I had a horrible night - freezing cold, despite wearing socks, cardigan and pyjamas, and having the duvet plus 2 throws on top. Sore throat, aching limbs. Woke up a LOT. At 2,30, thought I heard the boy meowing . A bit better today but don't feel great. Dyed my brassy blonde hair a chocolate brown (still don't like it). The house seems too tidy . x

SweetPeaSue- You deserve all the nice things we say about you- please don’t hate yourself. It’s upsetting for you to lose your hair - mine is very thin now and I don’t like it especially in the Winter as my head gets cold - does yours? I expect it’s all the stress you,ve been under that is contributory. Stress affects so much both physically and mentally. Hope you’re enjoying the bike -;you and Doodle are really doing well.
EllieAnne- glad you,ve seen your GC. It’s not good for you to keep going out allthe time just to,escape especially,as,it’s getting colder now. Is it possible for you to have your own room and tv so you can relax properly and do the things you want to do and maybe have friends round?
Doodle-/hope you had a better night and don’t feel so unsettled. It’s so difficult to relax when there is lots going on in your head isn’t it. I had a bit better night and had more energy this morning. So did an hour in the garden with DH. It’s only a postage stamp but needed a tidy up and cut back.
I feel very worried about Annie - do hope she is ok .
Wyllow- hope you dropped off your paperwork ok.that must have been a relief. Good idea to use a public place on Saturday-you,need to feel safe. That will be the start of better things hopefully.
HVDY- sorry you had a bad night. I expect the emotions of the last few days have taken their toll and you,ve got a bit run down. I know what you mean about the tidy,empty house. It takes a while to get used to after pets and children have been around for,a good while. See after yourself. Maybe you could try red hair to cheer yourself up!!
Love to all

I don't know if Annie has been in touch with any of you, but I got a short message, Be with you all soon.x

Just want to say thankyou to everyone about understanding my hair loss problem. Wasn't sure I wanted to mention it as its embarrassing. Strange isn't it, after revealing other intimate problems, that Im ashamed. GP sent me to a Dermatologist/Gynaecologist 20 yrs ago when I had problems. Thought it was shock of my mum's death but turns out it's genetic, Alopecia Androgentica. Lost a lot since then but so bad during this year,its upsetting. But, feel guilty about letting it get to me.I'm grateful to not have the pain I've been in.
Doodle Think I'd be afraid a hair extension might pull out my remaining hair and feel so ashamed I've not visited a hairdresser for a long time. Pleased your legs appear to be getting more used to the pedalling. Hope you've been a little better today with the anxieties. Done my pedalling!
Wyllow3 It must be a tough time for you right now with all the legal stuff being finalised. I hope your ex will not make things worse and is ready to accept things. Hope your nights are not too bad with invasive thoughts.
HVDY Sounds like you're getting a virus of some sort, what a horrible night you had. You have so much going on, what with losing your Mr Cooper and the changes in the home. How do you sum up courage to change hair colour like that? Huge admiration for your bravery. Hope you're feeling better soon.
Scaredycat My garden is postage stamp size too but where do all these leaves come from? If I'm out walking and can come straight home I put a hat on in winter but if I'm out shopping or something couldn't do that as I'd look dreadful when hat's removed.Hope you're sleeping better.
Still using bike. Can't let Doodle overtake me! Think her 'secret' is this cauliflower cheese.

Annie we are all thinking of you and wishing you well and miss you.
To all on BD have a peaceful night. X

Quick post for now but I will be back later to catch up.
I have heard from Annie and she hopes to be back with us soon. Not allowed iPad at the moment. Thought you would all be pleased to know that. Back later

Doodle and Nadateturbe thanks for letting us know about Annie. So happy she’s been in touch.xxxx

ScaredyCat I feel run down, to be honest. It'll pass. At odd times, my tears just flow without any effort, if that makes sense.
SweetpeaSue My hair has been red, black, auburn, brown and blonde over the past 2 years. I don't like this shade so I'll mess about with it at the weekend. I'm lucky to have hair to mess with - you are the brave one, and I admire you greatly.
Doodle Glad you've heard from Annie.

I went to Son1's house earlier, took him to B & M and Wilko, where he bought a lot of cleaning products, a clothes horse, shoes rack, bath mat, and other bits men don't think about . I treated him to a pub meal then cried on the drive home (madness). Mr Cooper was "just a cat" to most people but I miss him very much. I can't believe I'll never cuddle him again. x

Feelings are raw at the moment HVDY. Mr Cooper wasn’t just a cat he was a beloved pet. Of course you are upset, when we lost our dogs, each time I cried buckets. I was so sad. One died overnight. They think she had a brain bleed. She wasn’t that old. Also your son has moved out so there’s lots of change. It’s only natural to feel low and sad. Hope your cold and shivers have worn off now and you’re feeling better.
Take care.
Scaredycat I was so tired last night I went to bed really early and had a good sleep. Feel better today. Not doing too well with the bike I’m not going very far (well, being honest I’m not going anywhere at all as it’s not got any wheels. 🤣 been out again today and it was really cold but I had a hat on this time. Have you been out?
Sweetpeasue your hair loss must be an issue for you. None us want to feel we’re not looking our best, I had a scalp infection a while ago and lost a lot of hair at the back of my head. It’s growing back now but worried me so much at the time so I do understand. One thing to remember is there is no need to be ashamed. It’s not your fault and nothing you can do about it. I’m sure you’re more conscious of it than others are,
Glad the pain is a little better.
nadateturb thank you for letting us know you’ve been in contact with Annie too. 😊
Hope we have Annie back with us soon.

Waves to all...good Annie has been in contact...Not a good day as we have to go through solicitors not DIY for last stage of divorce and have been to exhausted to do anything.

That in itself isn't awful, tho takes longer and cant let go the doubt due to his abuse at times it won't work out. So we had to discuss it, and in 38 mins I counted 5 put downs and let them pass as he could turn into non co-operating, sick of it.

Thank you for sharing your days, of course still weepy times about Mr Cooper, HVDY and Sweetpeasue can totally understand about your hair, I've thinned a lot by stress in a year which is when more or less the bad times begun, but thats not the same at all x

Maybe Doodle you'll be back on your bike tomorrow.

Doodle Thank you. Losing a dog so suddenly like that must have been a shock. My nose is bunged up and my throat is sore and croaky. I'd like to stay at home all day, but my brother's bringing his wife at 9.30, for me to take her to the day centre (she won't go without me) so I'll see how I go.

Wyllow3 What a palavar. You'll be glad when it's all over with.

I hope everyone on BD manages to have a decent day x