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Diverticulitis and mental health

(63 Posts)
barmcake Fri 14-Oct-22 10:54:14

I have just returning home after visiting my brother who was released from hospital with a sever diverticulitis attack. He was mentally o.k. when I left, just a little down. Had a phone call last night that he was missing. A neighbour said he was dropped off by taxi wearing just an incontinence pad and shirt. Neighbour said he saw him handing over large amount of money to taxi driver. Just had another call to say carers can't get in. Has anyone had a similar experience. I'm 5 hours away and have to use public transport. Any advice welcome.

Bea65 Sun 16-Oct-22 10:37:28

Barmcake my thoughts and prayers are with you and your familyflowers

25Avalon Sun 16-Oct-22 11:55:14

I’m afraid Barmcake you are in for a tough time. I’m glad the family are rallying round. You will all need each other’s support. Can I warn you it may take sometime to get to an inquest and in that time you might feel in limbo? You may need the services of a solicitor. If so and you have legal advice on your house insurance then use them. Sorry if I sound negative but I’m just trying to prepare you for what may lay ahead. You owe it to your brother to find the truth. I send you love and wish you peace.

icanhandthemback Sun 16-Oct-22 12:46:07

barmcake

I realised I've been in the same clothes since it happened. Just had a lovely bath. Our estranged family is coming together after about 20 years. Sister coming today. Bungalow is a crime scene and we have to wait for inquest etc.

May I suggest that you or you family keep a file on everything you are told/sent etc. After my brother died, we were so much in shock that we forgot much of the information we were told at the time. The results from the post mortem took months so consequently, when it turned out that his GP had mismanaged his mental health, the mental health services closed ranks, etc, we didn't have the evidence to show that more care should have been taken. When we sat in front of the Coroner, our recollections had holes in so it was only anecdotal. We didn't want to sue, his addiction was not their fault but we did want to ensure the mistakes that were made (like the GP prescribing opioids to an addict!), never happened again.

ElaineI Sun 16-Oct-22 12:55:09

So sorry to hear this barmcake. Such a shock for you. I'm glad you managed to see him before this happened though and hope you can take comfort from that. ?

MadeInYorkshire Tue 18-Oct-22 12:54:06

Oh that's terrible, but have been there myself, stuck in hospital with no help, and I am a nurse and know how it SHOULD be done, but lots of nurses nowadays just shouldn't be in the job - and how some got degrees is beyond me, don't know the difference between a bowl and a bowel! A friend of mine had some sort of 'neurological event after being injected in the back of her head for migraines - again nothing to do with them - she made it as far as the car park with her 10 year old who went running into the hospital for help. She lost her speech - not her voice though and was coming out with some very funny at times) words - they actually stood over her and because she has olive skin and dark hair and couldn't communicate, that she "was obviously foreign"! Born and bred in Swindon .... she didn't get a wash for 3 weeks. It did get much better for me when I got home - the carers I have in today are kind and helpful and some have become friends ....

What a sad situation Icanhandthemback that's what they did with me, closed ranks and told a load of lies, and it really isn't good enough .....

shoppinggirl Tue 18-Oct-22 13:00:04

Thinking of you at such a tragic time and sending hugs x

toscalily Tue 18-Oct-22 14:10:49

So sorry to hear what has happened Barmcake a terrible shock for you. My condolences to you and your family flowers

Ladyleftfieldlover Tue 18-Oct-22 14:18:02

I’m very sorry to hear this news. ???

V3ra Tue 18-Oct-22 14:35:46

What a truly awful situation for you all barmcake.
God bless your poor troubled brother and I hope he's at peace now ?️

icanhandthemback Tue 18-Oct-22 22:57:23

MadeInYorkshire, it is awful isn't it. In the end we got a trite, lessons have been learned, but they haven't. All the time you have different mental health services (addiction, bipolar and alcohol) being dealt with by different departments who don't talk, how can the lessons be learned?

MissAdventure Tue 18-Oct-22 23:10:22

Oh, this is soo sad to read. .I really am so sorry.

harrigran Wed 19-Oct-22 08:49:02

Would like to add my condolences barmcake, I hope that having your family reconnect is a comfort for you.