Non Immunised grandchild

My DS caught measles before he was old enough to be vaccinated. He was very poorly but recovered.
As children, we had all the common illnesses which are now much less common.
There are still viruses and diseases we can't prevent.
I hope you see your DGC and recover your good relationship with your DS and DDiL Escudo

I have a friend who didn't get the Covid vaccinations. I told her, back in 2020, not to just pop in - but to text, first, before visiting - as she wasn't to come if my family are here. The same applies now.

It's not concern about her catching Covid (she's had it twice) it's about my family being angry and verbally abusing her - for being so stupid, selfish and uncaring about vulnerable people. They wouldn't hold back, be polite and accepting, they'd make their views quite clear.

My mum for reasons unknown disapproved of vaccines. I got serious measles soon after starting school, resulting in me almost dying and being in a dark room for six months, I believe to save my eyesight. I remember the school coming to ask why I wasn’t at school but when they saw me seemed to understand. I survived but after such a scare mum let me have all the vaccines and started a few herself. I hope your family will reach a solution.

In the first year if the mother is breast feeding the baby should have all its mothers immunities so maybe that would ease your mind for at least this year.

Hetty58

I have a friend who didn't get the Covid vaccinations. I told her, back in 2020, not to just pop in - but to text, first, before visiting - as she wasn't to come if my family are here. The same applies now.

It's not concern about her catching Covid (she's had it twice) it's about my family being angry and verbally abusing her - for being so stupid, selfish and uncaring about vulnerable people. They wouldn't hold back, be polite and accepting, they'd make their views quite clear.

I really can't understand your comment. You do know that covid is transmitted just as easily by vaccinated people as unvaccinated people don't you? Nobody should be "verbally abused" for their medical choices.

So OP, is your concern for the possibility of the baby catching a bug, or for the possibility of your scientific family abusing the mother?

Not breast feeding (although there might have been a valid reason for this) and not vaccinating do seem barmy choices, but they are hers to make and no-one else's business.

Grammaretto

My DS caught measles before he was old enough to be vaccinated. He was very poorly but recovered.
As children, we had all the common illnesses which are now much less common.
There are still viruses and diseases we can't prevent.
I hope you see your DGC and recover your good relationship with your DS and DDiL Escudo

Yes, my youngest DC caught measles before she was old enough to be vaccinated. She was poorly but recovered with no after-effects.
The older DC had been vaccinated but it's inevitable that not all children will be.

Sorry, I missed the second post, Escudo so my comment had already been answered. Personally, I think the rest of the family have no right to comment about vaccinations full stop. It is the parents' choice.
I would have preferred that my grandchildren weren't vaccinated for Whooping Cough and explained why they hadn't be done but their parents chose to do so anyway. I accepted that without question. I held off with my 3rd child with MMR until he was older because I wasn't convinced about the combined vaccine but my grandchildren were vaccinated on schedule. Once again, I kept quiet even when one of them was later diagnosed with ASD. Of course I know that logically the vaccination had nothing to do with that but in the early days, I did wonder. I would have never expressed that though.
The damage to your relationship with the parents and child has to enter the equation too. Make sure you consider this before you become entrenched in your views.

Normandygirl- it's not Hetty who might verbally abuse her friend, but other family members whose behaviour Hetty wouldn't be able to control.
I suspect that's partly what worries OP - other members of her family might attack her son and partner for their choices, especially since they have medical/scientific backgrounds and would find it hard to accept what they would see as illogical reasoning.

BlueBelle

If I can just add a positive thought to your concerns
I was vaccinated against NOTHING until I was 20 years old and had the lot to go overseas to a tropical country I had a fairly normal and healthy childhood and I never thought to ask my mum why I had had no vaccinations
I think it’s far more worrying that this poor child has no interactions with others doesn’t get taken out and no one’s allowed to hold her poor poor child hopefully she ll grow up rebellious and run and hug all and sundry
Well as you say you cant change your mind there really seems little point in asking on here I don’t think any of my relatives avoided me as a child
What do you think you will give her surely it’s her parents business as to who she comes into contact with and if they re happy to come to you why wouldn’t you go with that

That's interesting BlueBelle - did you go to normal state schools, primary & senior?

I remember queuing up for vaccinations in primary school and a polio sugar lump; then the BCG Heaf test in senior school.

Presumably your parents made a conscious decision not to vaccinate - it's not a criticism by the way!

When i had a vaccine 60 odd years ago I had a very bad reaction. Whether it was actually a reaction or not the doctors decided that it would be best if I didn't have any more. So i didn't.

Luckily none of my family thought it best not to visit me and we all survived family gatherings.

Riverwalk

BlueBelle

If I can just add a positive thought to your concerns
I was vaccinated against NOTHING until I was 20 years old and had the lot to go overseas to a tropical country I had a fairly normal and healthy childhood and I never thought to ask my mum why I had had no vaccinations
I think it’s far more worrying that this poor child has no interactions with others doesn’t get taken out and no one’s allowed to hold her poor poor child hopefully she ll grow up rebellious and run and hug all and sundry
Well as you say you cant change your mind there really seems little point in asking on here I don’t think any of my relatives avoided me as a child
What do you think you will give her surely it’s her parents business as to who she comes into contact with and if they re happy to come to you why wouldn’t you go with that

That's interesting BlueBelle - did you go to normal state schools, primary & senior?

I remember queuing up for vaccinations in primary school and a polio sugar lump; then the BCG Heaf test in senior school.

Presumably your parents made a conscious decision not to vaccinate - it's not a criticism by the way!

There weren't the raft of childhood vaccines available when I was a child, no measles, mumps, rubella, no polio vaccine until I was 12 and the tb vaccine when I was about the same age.

I caught mumps, measles, chickenpox as a young child but apparently had never had rubella. This was discovered just after I had baby No 3 and they insisted I had the vaccine there and then in hospital. I said to them it was like shutting the stable door after the horse had bolted!

DC1 had a bad reaction to the measles vaccine.

Escudo

I am in the UK

There has been diphtheria in our area

I've heard about some cases and yes, that is worrying.

I don’t think you can’t do anything about it.it’s their child and their decision! You put not breast fed! Not everyone wants to breast feed, or indeed can. You say your son and his partner have very different views on this and they don’t understand your point of view, their relationship isn’t great! I’d be standing back not pushing views on young parents. You have given them the facts, and allow them to make up their own minds

You are a bully and are controlling . This is not your choice or decision and you are withholding and punishing when you haven't got your own way. Who put you in charge of your sons choices? Awful.

Quokka

What are you likely to pass onto them from the following list

diphtheria
tetanus
pertussis (whooping cough)
polio
Haemophilus influenzae type b (Hib)
hepatitis B
rotavirus
meningococcal group B disease (MenB)
These will be given as 2 injections and drops into the mouth.

At 12 weeks, your baby will have immunisations against:

diphtheria
tetanus
pertussis (whooping cough)
polio, Hib
hepatitis B
pneumococcal disease
rotavirus
These will be given as 2 injections and drops into the mouth.

At 16 weeks, your baby will have immunisations against:

diphtheria
tetanus
pertussis (whooping cough) *polio
Hib
hepatitis B
MenB
These will be given as 2 injections.

1.2 Immunisations your baby will have at 1 year of age
Your baby will have immunisations against:

Hib/Meningococcal group C (MenC)
MenB
measles, mumps, rubella (MMR)
pneumococcal disease

No wonder most children have health or learning or behavioural issues nowadays with that cocktail of poisons in them!

I think people who don't vaccinate children are total idiots.
We have a lot of immigrants coming into the UK and one recently died of diphtheria. Measles is rife and polio is making a come back mainly due to antivaxers.
Not all of these diseases are treatable and curable, and some have life long disabilities from catching them. I know someone who caught polio as a child and suffers a permanent limp, and I myself needed eye surgery after Measles.
Your family need to wake up to the facts of the consequences of their decision.
I wouldn't visit until the child is at least 2. But then others will so they will probably catch something from them.

I also know a man that caught mumps as a child and became sterile because of it. He regretted his parents decision to not vaccinate all his life as it wasn't reversible

Any parent who refuses vaccines, especially those which have been used for decades, should be forced to watch films of crippled polio victims, deaf measles victims, brain damaged meningitis…….I could go on and on.
Many of these diseases are making a comeback due to low vaccine uptake. Don’t wait until they become endemic.

It’s their baby so their decision. Please don’t spoil your relationship with them for that.
My children were not vaccinated,and neither are their’s, bar one who has vaccinated his. That’s fine. Their children,their decision.

Would like to support BlueBelle here and be positive - neither of my teenage grandchildren has ever had any vaccine and they have no more time off school sick than their vaccinated friends. They're slightly taller than the average and both are keen sportspeople as well as being academically bright. I have another grandchild who has had all the usual vaccines and who has had ENT problems on and off and is always off school. This is a very small sample I know but it does show that vaccinations don't necessarily mean a child is at less risk of catching the viruses that flourish in schools.
As for your medical/scientific background Escudo, you will have to be flexible and accept that maybe you won't be able to change your opinion based on the science you believe to be right, but you're a grandparent now and that means you should be able to change your behaviour - if you don't find a way of accommodating your son's and dil's beliefs you will lose your grandchild. Scientific evidence changes all the time, and unfortunately many putting that forward aren't great statisticians as we saw throughout covid predictions and as new ways of interpreting stats emerge we can see that much of what we think is logical isn't. I hope you find a solution.

That’s a tough one but I do know that my youngest granddaughter is behind on her jabs and so his my grandson because Nhs is so far behind at min

There is little you can do here, except to emphasise to your son and his partner that you respect their right to hold a different opinion to yours.

But holding the opinion you do about the importance of vaccination and the risk of an unvaccinated child contracting a potentially fatal or permamently incapacitating illness such as menigitis or polio, you cannot reconcile travelling by public transport to visit them until the baby is older.

It saddens you to say this, but this is the way it is. You hope they will try to respect your point of view, and they will always be welcome to come and visit you.

With respect, isn’t the problem in your last sentence - you have medical backgrounds so you can’t change your minds? Really? People with ‘medical backgrounds’ are always changing their minds, for instance when new evidence comes to light or even new fashions in pharmaceuticals.
Respect your grandchild’s parents. They have chosen to take responsibility for their child’s health and no doubt that includes the responsibility for anything that may happen if not vaccinated. Just as parents do when they choose to vaccinate.
However, I doubt that any of you are likely to pass diphtheria, polio, whooping cough or hepatitis on. As responsible adults you would stay away if unwell.
Personally, I wouldn’t let standing on a principle prevent me enjoying Christmas with my grandchildren.

My son caught measles when he was 3, and passed it on to his 6 month old sister. He was quite poorly, but she had only a mild rash and recovered quickly. The measles vaccine arrived shortly afterwards.
It's the parents' choice about not vaccinating their baby. I would just go ahead with Christmas, taking mild precautions by not passing the baby around. This seems unlikely to happen anyway, if the parents are so protective.