Black Dog 15

DoodleBusy day for you. Youve been tearing all over the place. Hope you are both relaxing now and have the best night's rest possible. Yes seen the FACE ad. Its horrible but it serves it's purpose in that its not easily forgotton.
Wyllow Good the hear you're getting a diversion in some light TV. As you're less taxed emotionally the CFS mightnt be so bad and you can look forward to socialising more.
EllieAnne Hope you're ok too and can manage a fair weekend.

Wish everyone a peaceful night and a good weekend.

Just calling in to wish you all a peaceful night and some sleep, with hope things settle down for all of you. With love xxxx

Doodle Thanks. DH is hopeless (by his own admittance) at speaking up about anything at all, with anyone. He and the useless GP frustrated me so much. How long did your DH have the heart monitor on? I had a 24 hour one last year, it was all ok. I queued in the car wash last week, too. Mine needs hoovering. Lovely of you to say you're glad I'm back x

Wyllow Your mum might have said that, but you're not making a fuss about nothing. My mum said "What have you got to be depressed about?" when I first had depression at the age of about 30. Be kind to yourself and do whatever you can that makes you happy.

Wyllow perhaps socialising will increase as time goes on. When you feel stronger. No one on Black Dog makes a fuss about nothing. We all have reasons for being in what ever state we’re in. I’m hoping you have a better night.
DH has just been on the treadmill. He tends to stomp along on it as he can’t lift his feet up much. I hope he hasn’t disturbed the people downstairs. They would wonder what he’s doing if they heard him 🤔

Sweetpeasue I found the FACE instructions helpful. If I was worried about DH I would ask him to smile or trip my fingers and that re assured me.
Hope your DH is feeling ok now.
Joane thank you. What a nice message. Hope you are doing ok too.
HVDY DH had his heart monitor on for 48 hours, it’s a bit like a flying saucer in shape and had a green flashing light in the middle that kept me awake at night 🤣
Yes our car needs hoovering too but at least the outside looks clean.
Sleep well all. x

Grip not trip

HVDY glad you are around to support MrHV. Needs must!

A very busy day, Doodle FWIW, the car washes locally are all heaving!

Sweetpeasue of course you are concerned about MrSP, it needs some monitoring over time (not what one wants to hear, but...)

Scaredycat I'm so glad you have a nice GP, but its another constantly living with uncertainly. never easy, is it.

Best wishes and love to all BD's whatever is happening this evening and overnight, may the whatifferies be as small as possible xx

Joane123 How kind of you. Thanks. Hope you have a nice evening.

Doodle I see what you mean, I understand. Think I was just remembering that awful image of the lady who was showing stroke signs.
Oooh that flashing flying saucer thing on DH must have felt as if he was going to be 'beamed up' to another planet!
*Joanne *What lovely kind wishes. Thankyou so much. You're v thoughtful. x

I've been watching this "stroke" thing with interest - I didn't show any of those signs (and haven't got the one-sided weakness at all). I had a bilateral stroke (both sides), which is apparently fairly rare. Another sign apart from FAST, I was told, when I did care work, was to get the person to stick out their tongue

Trampling the annual grape harvest, Doodle?

Hello to joanne

HVDY Thats interesting.The specialist asked DH to stick out his tongue. At the time he couldnt talk properly at all, DH said his tongue felt huge, swollen and tingly.
Specialist had lots of pics of tongue on his screen. I expect there may be many poss signs of TIA and for full stroke.

My brother has had several TIA's (mini strokes) over the last 10 years . He never knew he had them. He does have permeant AF and 2 stents in his heart and one in his brain. Years ago a piece of metal fell off his lorry and hit his head and caused a bleed in his brain he could have died a very frightening time . But he's still fighting fit .

HVDY my late husband was useless about asking doctors questions. Even when he was diagnosed with grade 4 malignant melanoma and told he wouldn't live 5 years he never asked a question it was me who wanted to know everything . Like he said there was no point him asking as he knew I would and yes I did punch him on the arm. Funny anything to do with me he asked loads of questions but never about himself. Like all the men in my life past and present they are men's mens . Always thinking they have to be strong and brave. It's a wonder they don't go round beating their chests.

The talk of strokes sent me back went I was admitted to hospital in 1988 because of the pain and limb jerks . I remember being pushed along the corridor and all the posters where about strokes and wondered if I had one. Don't remember much about that 3 weeks but few things I remember where the horrible things. Like the nurse shouting at me to stop making a fuss as I only had post natal depression. I was crying because I wasn't allowed to see my children for 3 weeks. Luckily I was sent home the next day. Our daughter had started school while I was in and out son was 8 months old.

Wyllow where I used to live I could have been dead for days and no one would have noticed this was after my mom died. Before that I was out number of times a day until Mon lived with me the last 18 months of her life. As after my husband died and children moved out permanently after 2 years. Had both parents and mother in law dependant on me. I didn't live my life I existed. After mom died in 2017 I got jaundice. Didn't realise I was ill thought a lifetime of looking after others even being ill myself my body was telling me to rest. But it was the wake up call I needed don't recommend having jaundice but for all it was awful then finding out people with my bilirubin levels normally died. Good job I had already during the 5 months of being seriously ill made 3 decisions about my life.

During those 5 months stuck at home apart from weekly visits to the hospital for blood tests via ambulance or if my son came down or my nephew took me. Not a single neighbour knocked my door to see if I was alright. When I left I had lived in the house 34 years our first house was only few streets away. We brought our first house in 1980 and it was 2019 when I moved to the north west.

It's like a different world here . People care if they don't see me for a few days . Have better health care if I hadn't moved still wouldn't have know I was born with HPX and hole in my heart. And I have an active social life with my sit fit class and craft group. Plus go out once a week shopping and see my daughter and 2 grandson's every week. As some if you know I am estranged from my son his choice not mine and lost my 3 grandson's because of it. He may deny I exist but I never do.

Thankfully nowadays there is more known about various mental health issues and help is available. But that help can vary from health authorities. Some are very good but I know the trouble my nephew has had getting the help he needs thankfully his GP understands as he has suffered MH problems in the past. My nephew has had counselling but limited results the tablets and his own will have helped him more. He has found his own coping strategies.

I wish people would understand anyone at anytime of their live they can become mentally, physically or both ill. There is no such thing as perfect health. As soon as we are born life takes its toll on our minds and bodies. Some people think they are bullet proof and they are perfect . No such thing as perfect . And I for one are glad about that.

I have found this thread to be full of strong , courageous people who are fighting everyday with their mental or physical health or both and still have time to help others . And for that I am very glad.

Sorry can't single everyone of you out . But so glad Doodle has kept this thread going. And no one else has left it. Life is hard but it makes us who we are . And here there is a very strong support group willing to help anyone who needs it. No matter what life throws at you, you battle through ready for the next thing. I hope talking on here helps you because I know it helps me knowing you are here.

End of my ramble. Take care everyone .

Wyllow if only 🤣. I never realised before the treadmill how DH favoured one foot over the other. Have you started using yours yet.
We are going out with son tonight so no cooking for me. Yippee
Before we went to the car wash yesterday, DH dropped me off in a car park to post a parcel. When I came back out I walked to where he’d dropped me off and thought to myself it’s a good job we’re going to the car wash I had no idea our car was so filthy, it was covered in mud splashes up to the roof. Only when I got close to opening the door did I realise the bald chap in the driving seat wasn’t my husband. He had parked somewhere else and to be honest one black car looks just like another to me. I was relieved ours wasn’t quite so dirty.
HVDY the only signs of stroke my DH had were that he found it difficult one day to do up the buttons on his shirt and then a few days later he couldn’t pick up and hold a spoon to eat his ice cream. When we got Dh home from hospital post surgery, I thought I would never rest easy again and was constantly watching for signs. That was 14 years ago. I’ve calmed down a bit now but I still remember what to look for.
Sweetpeasue yes sorry I wasn’t thinking so much of the lady just the things to check for if you are at all worried.
Whiff what a lovely post. Thank you.
You gave up a lot of your life looking after others. I’m so glad now things are better and more interesting for you.
Sounds as though you live in a nice area with nice caring neighbours and good social groups.
Have a good weekend all

I'm so glad you moved, Whiff. Clearly turned your life around. Eventually I ant to move to a target area where about 9/10 Quakers live and facilities are on doorstep.

Had a slightly better night, tho not a lot of sleep, but got myself off to the gym and there are no complications to sort today except following prep instructions for tomorrow carefully and hovering close to a loo.

but a sad moment on the way home. I'd popped into the mini Sainsbugs and as I drove out I saw Ex walking up the road on the pavement opposite. He looked piteous and was smoking heavily. It felt so very very sad.

Hoping that Bd's have as best days possible, and that DH's are doing as well as they can.

Whiff It's a shame that not all neighbours are neighbourly. I'm glad your life is so much better now. Well done for overcoming all that you have.

Doodle I had to laugh about you saying you almost opened the wrong car door.

Wyllow You're a good person, to still feel pity for your ex, despite everything.

Son has gone to his GF's and won't be back here until Monday evening . DH and I are going to meet his cousin and wife this evening, for a couple of drinks. Not seen them for about 4 years, so it'll make a change. Hope all BDers have a decent day today x

Hi all.
Whiff- I,m so glad you live in a place where people care and that you enjoy a happy and sociable life- you deserve it.
Yes talking on here really does help- I would so miss everyone if they weren’t here.
Doodle- love the car parking story . I actually thought my car had been stolen on a roof top car park only to look across to another roof and there it was. I was ready to go into panic mode!!!!
I,m sure you must always have the stroke memory in the back of your mind- my friend does too with her DH.
Maybe your downstairs neighbours think yourDH is learning to tap dance!!
Joanne- thank you and hope you have a good weekend x
Wyllow- yes don’t move far from the loo once you start the bowel prep- it’s like lighting the blue touch paper!!!!
What a kind heart you have to still feel such compassion for your ex .
HVDY- enjoy your evening with DH cousin - a few drinks will do you both good. You,ll have lots to,chat about after 4years.
Sounds like your son is staying on good terms with his GF - that’s a good thing for the future and for the baby too.
SweetPeaSue- hope you managed to get to the sea today and that you are not so upset as yesterday xx
My BiL says he should have a meeting with my sisters consultant on Monday - she still has so many problems.
I have a continually churning tummy worrying about her.

Love to allx

Doodle I did once open a car door to see a strange man looking quizzically at me! No, someone is going to set up the treadmill on Friday and show me the basic electronics. Have a lovely time tonight. Actually...most people favour one leg over the other, but its much more marked in some. You're a lovely carer for him.

(It could be worth checking that his leg lengths match, btw. Most of us, again, don't have exactly the same leg length, but my discovery that one leg was different enough to need slight insoles made a big difference 5 years ago. It's just one reason that we favour one leg strongly.

Scaredycat I hope the consultant is helpful on Monday, and you all have some idea about her treatment path. If only, something where you all "know where you are" with her health matters.
Oh, my Ex....although I now know he's been doing it all his life, ie searching for a woman to scoop hm up, fund him, care a bit like a mum might- well yes compassion but a tugging on heartstrings too.

HVDY this evening sounds really special. Yes, lots to catch up on. I was very glad to read about your son and gf.

Matters so much now and in the future.

HVDY- enjoy your evening with DH cousin - a few drinks will do you both good. You,ll have lots to,chat about after 4years.
Sounds like your son is staying on good terms with his GF - that’s a good thing for the future and for the baby too.

Warm waves to other BD's and sympathies if its a difficult day.

I'm just drinking the first dose and had the "last meal". Just think, the exercise I'll get climbing the stairs x times....

Sorry for repeat above HVDY - I'm so dozy I work from a copy and comment and delete system and a bit got left in.

ScaredyCat Yes, it's good that sone and his GF are getting on so well. He's helping to decorate her daughter's bedroom - she's 12. I hope your BIL gets some positive words from your sister's consultant on Monday.

Wyllow3 . Thanks, though. I hope you won't be making too many trips to the toilet.

I hope all BDers have a relaxing as possible evening. Just going to paint my nails x

Whiff Moving house has clearly been a life change for the better in your case. How awful that nurse was to you when you must have been so frightened and worried about being away from your little children. Youve been through such a lot. Its lovely that neighbours really care about others where you are now. Thankyou for kind words Whiff.
Doodle Your car incident reminded me of my nana's story. She DID actually get into the wrong car, shut the door and turned to a strange man in driving seat and jumped out of her skin. Wish I could remember what was said now but was so funny. Your poor husband but you must hsve been so anxious too. My husband just lost the use of being able to speak and form words for a few minutes. His BP still high. Thankyou for reminding me of FAST. Hope you have a pleasant meal out tonight. Its always nice not to have tocook.
Wyllow I can understand seeing your ex like that from a distance feeling sad for you. Its so early days yet and you were together 11 yrs. You know in your head youve done right thing, because of abuse, but heart still hurts. I will be thinking of you tomorrow. Am now actually. Hope you can get a decent rest tonight. Keep skin moisturised iykwim.
HVDY I hope your husband gets seen soon next week after the disappointing mess yesterday. Have a good time out tonight with cousin and wife.
Scaredycat Hope the AF isnt as bad today but your poor churning tummy. I hope Monday brings encouraging news about your sister. We didnt get the sea walk today. Took aunt out this morning but couldnt wait around for techy man to help with phone prob with aunt being with us. Went back this afternoon and not only did he fix problem he renewed my contract for 3quid mth cheaper, so not all lost.

DH thinks BP monitor batteries have 'had it' (they haven't) so bought more batteries. His BP still high. Hes already on highest dose of 2 tabs and has been on this dosage for a yr.
Hope everyone has a decent night's rest and am thinking of you Wyllow tomorrow. X

Evening all, didn’t get around to posting yesterday so have just caught up. Like I’ve said, I keep myself almost too busy then get very tired in the evenings. I’ve had a longer walk today which was lovely and then had a little nap so feel quite revived by it.
Wyllow I’m sorry you’ve been struggling and hope things have settled for you. You seem to do a lot to help yourself, going to the gym, distracting etc and I know how hard it can be, motivating yourself to do something when it’s the last thing you feel like doing. When things are bad for me, I need the physicality of the gym, which helps a lot. I should keep that up really. I’m thinking about you too for tomorrow and I really hope everything goes well.

Whiff glad you’re happy where you live. It’s great that you have people around who care, it must mean a lot.

Scaredycat I hope you get some positive news on Monday regarding your sister’s treatment plan. It must be a worry for you but hopefully her medical team will be a good one and be able to reassure you all. I hope your AF has settled too.
Sweetpeasue I hope your worries about your DH have eased. It’s so difficult when a loved one is poorly, that constant apprehensive feeling, it’s so disturbing.
HVDY I hope you have a lovely evening. It’s always good to have a catch-up. It’ll do you both good I’m sure, especially after the GP mix-up. I hope he gets the help he needs very soon.
Doodle your car incident made me chuckle. My son’s GF had a similar incident and it reminded me of that. He’s never let her forget it either!
Hope all not mentioned personally above are ok, you all have a pleasant evening and restful sleep xx

Candy Glad your walk was good. It really helps even if it's only a short one. If I dont feel like it I often tell myself Ill just walk for 20 mins but often do much longer once you get going. Keeping busy seems to work for you and I hope the meds will soon kick in too. I think Im a bit lazy but definitely quite depressed. I just keep going through the motions of daily life but I know Im better than I was. Take care. Hope you sleep well. xx

Sometimes the best one can do is keep the routines of everyday life, in fact it's the best thing to do to koko.

Glad you go to a gym Candy. I think you are doing all the right things for you, clearly its not a good time for self introspection too much until your depression is more under control?

At the worst `I couldn't motivate to go to the gym or walk I forced myself to swim twice a week and my its was hard work talking to people and "pretending" ..but in fact its paid off long term. Been a member of the same gym since 2001 and its seen me through 3 relationships, 3 houses/flats, even went a bit when I was a MH inpatient. so in a way its a bit of a home from home. Its the sort of gym with a cafe and sauna and people now each other very long term

I wouldn't say I have friends there but long term aquaintences in the end do count for a lot. Maybe if I hadn't been with Ex there would have been friends but he was possessive.

(I actually met him there but he isn't a member now and the management know what happened as some of it was played out publicly but I've lived that down.)

Sweetpeasue how are things going to be with Mr SP medium term - are things "under observation" as it were?

Wyllow When DH had BP taken at hospital when he had scan it was lowest hed ever had. Never been under 130 and was 117. Unbelievably low for him. Yet the last month GP surgery wanted readings checked at home, as were too high. Last few dys its been far too high.(170 and 160 twice) Hospital Dr said he was writing to GP to advise referral to BP specialist to tailor BP med. So no observation of his condition is happening in meantime. Except by me! and he's not liking it.
Hope youre ok and things are moving but not excessively so. 😕 🤞 x