Black Dog 15

Oh Scaredycatyou crept in behind me. I'm sorry you didnt get news of your sister but hope you get some good news soon. Its so kind to think of me when you have so much worry going on yourself. Thankyou for letting me know about how writing things down helped for you. It might not be as futile (or bad) for me as I thought. How awful for your GD's car to be bumped like that and so thoughtless of the perpetrator. I hope it didn't spoil the night too much. Well I'm sending that hug right back to someone who v much needs it but thankyou so much. x

*Sweetpeasue I am worried about my tum as they only checked the big bowel not the little one! Where there were the last set of problems, and I have virtually stopped eating its so uncomfy.

I read the report from yesterday and am discharged from the 2 week "system" tho referred back to consultant. So I shall give his secretary a ring tomorrow or Wednesday because although the colonoscopy nurse said a CT scan is the next thing - she wrote almost nothing in the report.

I'm sorry to read about the pain Sweetpeasue but so glad you made it for a walk.

Sunshine - interesting one. No, very glad to say that at the moment sun cheers me up: today was sort of bitter sweet -

but I can well recall deep in depression I preferred a low day, it fitted my mood somehow, and watching people being smiley and energetic in the sunshine so hard to bear, felt I was on a different planet.

Scardeycat glad you had a nicer evening...you must miss seeing your sis so much xx

An early night I think bests all BD's.

HVDY he doesn’t usually have RLS start up until around 7pm it gradually creeps up after that. His night’s have been ok recently before he started this new medication. The tablets he takes for RLS do help but they tend to make him so very tired.
If you go with your husband to the appointment I hope you manage to get your point across and get your DH checked at hospital. If your DH is really tired it doesn’t sound as though he’s well. Do your surgery have an asthma nurse? You could ask for your DH to see her too. Sometimes they are more switched on than the GPS. He may not have asthma but it’s worth checking. My DH only developed asthma a few years ago diagnosed after a long coughing bout.
Sorry about the job. Hope something good comes your way soon.
Sweetpeasue thanks for your kind thoughts. I’ve booked another phone call with the asthma nurse on Wednesday. Hoping she will find an alternative medication that helps.
We are writing to the London Consultant as DH has had his appointment cancelled and put back some months. DH is going to write and tell him all that has happened and ask his advice. If we don’t hear back I think we may ask to be referred to someone local.
Glad your DHs headache has gone. That’s a plus. A nice beach walk will lift the spirits too.
Wyllow I bet you’re tired after yesterday.
Sorry you were feeling so sad. Do you think part of it could be coming down off yesterdays medication. Hope you are resting and not overdoing things.
Scaredycat seems like lots on BD have troubling coughs in the family at the moment. I know other people who say there is a cough going round that keeps going and coming back again. Perhaps all of us who are up at night should have a chat online to keep each other company.
So sorry about your GD car. Hope they manage to track down the culprit. Is it badly damaged?
Sorry you haven’t heard about your sister yet. Hoping the news is better. Any news on your GGS ?
You’ve got a lot going on at the moment. Hope you are sleeping ok (except for the coughing DH) . x

Wyllow will the CT colonoscopy cover the area you’re concerned with?
It does sound uncomfortable. Do you feel very full up? Could it be air from the procedure yesterday? I have a vague memory of them saying something to DH about having a build up of wind to pass after. It’s good news you’ve been cleared from the two week system so that’s one less thing to worry about except you still don’t have any answers.
Sleep well.

Wyllow It's so awful that you're still having the worry about tummy. It's a good idea to call consultant's secretary - it cant do any harm. When my bowel was at its extreme worst I felt the need to restrict food quite extremely resulting in 1 and half stone weight loss. You're already v slim and thats concerning. I tried following the low-residue diet (that was advised before my CT bowel scan) but have no idea if this would suit you or is advisable--sure your Gastroenterologist sis would know. I'm worried you might lack nourishment. At least youve got that part over with. Its so disheartening everything takes so long now to be arranged. I hope you have a peaceful night.
Oh dont take any notice of my philosophical witterings about weather n stuff
Doodle I remember now about you going to write to the London specialist. You just need to see someone soon dont you. I do hope you both have a much better night. Definitely good luck with Asthma nurse Wednesday.

Wish all on BD and those reading a peaceful and hopefully untroubled night. X

Wyllow Doodle's suggestion about you perhaps having gas in your stomach is a pretty good one. Could it be that?

ScaredyCat Has there been much damage done to your GD's car? Sometimes it's better to get the person responsible to pay for the damage, rather than go through the insurance, if the premiums are likely to go up or the excess to pay is high.

SweetpeaSue Sorry you've had the pain, but it's good that you were able to get out. Fancy a bird being able to manage with one leg!

Doodle I'm sorry your husband has such a lot of problems. Being kept awake with RLS is no joke. I don't think my husband has got Asthma - he isn't wheezy at all, or breathless. His chest has been clear. He coughs for ages when he does anything at all (washing up, walking about, going upstairs, showering, etc) but is fine when sitting or lying down.

Son is still at his GF's (went Saturday morning). She sent me some photos of the baby scans . He's taking her out for Valentine's Day tomorrow. Hope all BDers have a restful night - especially Doodle and her husband x

Thinking of you all and hoping you get the help you need and your darling husbands too. Praying for a peaceful night's sleep for everyone.

Evening all, just catching up with everyone since my last post. Hope all of you are all as ok as you can be.
Sweetpeasue you say you “keep going through the motions of daily life” and that’s exactly what I do too. I think a lot of us do. I read a short inspirational quote recently which said “sometimes, the best thing you can do is just carry on” and I think that’s true and I’ve recounted it a lot since. I hope your thoughts and worries over the medical negligence have eased. I think that no matter how we “push things back” when they are real worries or concerns they come back to confront us eventually and as in my case, usually in the middle of the night! Always worse then I think. I’m sorry you’ve had a recurrence of the pain but it’s good it’s not stopping you getting out. Hope your DH is feeling better and he gets his referral very soon.
Wyllow Your gym sounds good. I quite like mine but haven’t managed to make any friends there yet - I don’t go enough now I’ve started my new job last summer. It’s something I’d like to do in the future though. I’m glad you’re procedure went well and hope you get some answers to your problem very soon. Hope you enjoyed your visit up the gym today but sorry you’ve felt sad too.
HVDY sounds like you had a nice day yesterday. Nice days always do us a world of good I think. I’m sorry about the situation with your husband, I hope you get a resolution soon. At least he has an appointment now but understand it’s not ideal seeing someone who you feel is not good enough- I know exactly what you mean. My husband is self employed and doesn’t get paid either when he doesn’t work so I feel for you. I hope you enjoyed your day today and well done you for the volunteering. Good luck with your job applications. I find it such a pain looking for work and doing the applications/interviews, one of the reasons I stay in what is not a great job I have now. How lovely you’ve seen the scan photos - very exciting!
Doodle sorry you had a bad night last night. You must both be exhausted. I hope you get somewhere with the London consultant. I hope you both have a better night tonight.
Scaredycat hope you get some positive news about your sister soon and you have a more restful night.
nadateturbe hope you have a restful night too.

I’ve had a difficult past few days. I’ve been feeling decidedly “odd”. I’m not sure if it’s the meds. As you may know, I decided to introduce them slower than what GP advised but I’m not sure if I’m doing more harm than good in the fact that I’m not feeling the full effect so they’re making me feel strange? Not sure. I’m obviously no expert but I’m trying to carry on regardless. My son said to me today “but I think you’re a lot better”. I think I’ve just got a lot better at disguising it as I think I feel just as bad, but in a different way. Sorry if that sounds odd but I can’t think of any other way of describing it. Anyway, I’m feeling a bit better now. Went out earlier with the dog and it cleared my head a bit so hopefully I’ll sleep ok. Work day for me tomorrow so I hope so! Night all and hope you all have a restful night and a good day tomorrow xx

Candy6 I think the "feeling strange" IS likely to be because you've not been taking the tablets as prescribed. There are often side-effects (as there are for all medications) with antidepressants, but they subside after a short while, and the benefits far outweigh them. Thanks for your kind words re my husband etc.

Doodle- I hope your DH gets a speedy reply from the London consultant. A good idea to write everything down for him to digest. If nothing is forthcoming at least a local consultant would be more accessible.
My GD car was very badly damaged and I think will be a write off. Such a shame as it’s not worth much monetarily but worth so much for her . They have the reg number and details thanks to the lovely lady who saw it all happen. The fact that he just drove off shows what sort of person was driving.
My GGS has his scan at the end of the month-just hope it isn’t what they suspect.
As for my sister this morning I am so frustrated and worried. No talk with the consultant happened yesterday . It’s been 7 weeks and although obviously she is in a better state than when admitted still not mobile or even standing unaided. Not being there is so hard and the seeming lack of urgency is so concerning. Hope BiL makes sure he gets some answers today.
HVDY- hope your son and his GF enjoy their Valentine’s Day together-so good they are on better terms. Have a good day x
Nadaturbe- hope you had a peaceful night too.
Candy- yes I think we are all plodding on as best we can and trying to enjoy the good times when they happen. It s so nice to hear the good news and the nice things that everyone gets up to.
I think maybe you should take the medication as prescribed that might be while you feel a bit weird.
SweetPeaSue- I,ve thought about your little seaside bird a lot and he is a bit like a mascot for us - trying hard in difficult circumstances and still hopping away!
Wyllow- hope your day will have some sunshine in itxxxx

Ah, Candy feeling strange, "not myself" is sometimes par for the course in depression and anxiety - it may or may not be the drugs. I'm settled on a suitable drugs regime, but stressful triggers still can make me feel "not there". But its totally true what was said above:

drugs do take some adjusting to, and there are wobblies until not only are you up to the full dose, but a wee while after you are up to the full dose. so hang on in there, and I really hope you find more congenial work - thats important too, but unsettling as well!

Scaredycat I also angry on your behalf that your sister has not seen the consultant yet, you all badly need a prognosis and treatment path. xxx

I had a very bad night last night because the report from Sunday looked as if its taken me off the 2 week rapid path, and my little bowel has yet to be checked. I've got a crisis call back the afternoon.

No, its not gas, HVDY. Past difficulties have been that, but when I am completely emptied out, as on Sunday, nothing left inside - gas or gunge, my tum was still the hard 6 months pregnant look. And although I have been eating less than 600 calories most days, as its hard to eat, it hurts, I have not lost weight.

anyway I'm not one to leave things - have just left a full message with the consultants personal assistant with a ? about the difference between the next step as outlined by the nurse on Sunday versus her writing I was off the "2 week" thingy".

sorry for not mentioning others by name, I'm very exhausted tho have been to the gym, just lots of love to all BD's and hoping Doodle you get to speak to a consultant soon.

Hope you hear back soon, Wyllow3. Take it easy.
Thanks Scaredycat. - a little amitriptyline helped.

Best wishes to all for today. It's such an anxious time waiting to hear from consultants and doctors.

Afternoon all, just a quick visit as I’m on my lunch to say thank you for your replies. The general consensus seems to be that it’s the meds but is already de used to up the dose as I have to at some point anyway.
Wyllow I hope you get some answers very soon and you are not too uncomfortable. I’m sorry you had a disturbed night too. I didn’t sleep either - too much going on for me. I hope your call with the crisis team helps you.
ScaredycatI’m sorry about your GS’s car. That’s so annoying. I hope she gets some form of compensation but I know these things can be difficult and take time. I hope your GGS gets some good news and also you get some answers about your sister very soon. Your analogy about the bird is lovely.
HVDY thank you for your comments. I hope you are ok.
Bye for now and love to everyone xx

ScaredyCat Is your sister having any physiotherapy at all?
(I know it's often not a regular thing - they only used to come to me for 20-30 minutes, 2 or 3 times a week when I was in hospital). I hope your GD has some luck with the insurance company.

Wyllow You haven't lost weight on 600 calories a day? . That's nowhere near enough calories for you, though. I hope you get some answers from the call later.

Candy6 Just a thought - you take your antidepressant at night, don't you? (the idea is that it should help you to sleep).

I met my friend earlier, we had lunch at our favourite garden centre, and chatted for 3 hours . Nadaturbe, SweetpeaSue,*Doodle*, EllieAnne, all on BD - hope you're all ok. x

I’m reading all the posts but not good at the moment.
Has anyone heard anything from Annie?
I saw a comment from her on another thread and I wondered how she was doing.

Evening all.
Ellie Anne sorry you’re not feeling too good. Is something troubling you?
I was thinking of Annie today. I saw my first snowdrops.
HVDY you have a good friend if you can chat for so long. Do you meet up often?
Candy ah yes a work day for you. I hope symptoms settle soon. It takes a while to get used to new meds. I hope the increased dose helps.
nadateturbe hope you’ve had a good day.
Wyllow DH often says he doesn’t feel quite with it or he feels discombobulated.
I am worried about you. 600 calories a day every day is not enough to sustain you. Once or twice a week maybe but not every day and certainly not when you’re working out at the gym. Your stomach is obviously a cause for concern. Are you a low weight for your height? I was just wondering, you know how children suffering from malnutrition have a large swollen stomach, could it be anything to do with your problem. Just a thought. You certainly need to follow this up.
Scaredycat we used to see the consultant in London every 6 months till lockdown. Only seen him once since. DH’s next appointment has been postponed hence writing to him.
We intend to send an email to his secretary tonight in the Hope she will forward it to him tomorrow. Hope he can help.
So sorry about your DGDs car. That’s the problem isn’t it. Not worth anything to someone else doesn’t mean it’s not a good car for the person who owns it.
I am praying that your GGS’s scan is ok and nothing to worry about. What a troubling time for you with your sister as well.
It’s so difficult to track down consultants these days. Hope you get some answers soon.
Candy keep calm and carry on could be the motto for this thread. You’re right about the middle of the night. I also worry first thing in the morning when I wake up.
Sometimes it takes a while to get to know people. Keep going to the gym, smile and say hello. Gradually people will get to recognise you. Hope the meds work and a good walk with the dog will help. I’ve been watching the Dog House in TV. Seeing people matched with rescue dogs. It’s lovely to see the reactions.
HVDY it is indeed strange about your husband. Could he have exercise induced asthma? Sounds a bit like my DH.
I hope you get some answers soon. Coughs like that are so debilitating. Lovely your son is having a nice Valentines with his GF. Nice to think things have improved for them
Sweetpeasue how have you been today. Hope you have been pain free. DH and I went for a long walk with Rolly but very tired now.

Nadateturbe So good of you to remember us like that (in prayers) Thankyou. I find that a little Amitryptiline helps a lot too.
Candy Hope you soon get used to the med. I've found when Ive had severe depression that a strange 'not there' odd feeling can be quite frightening, though it may be your medication. Hope you soon feel better.
HVDY Lovely to have lunch with a friend. I do think some Garden Centres are great for nice uncomplicated food. Hope your husband is coping and you get some help on Friday.
Scaredycat You are having such a difficult time with the worry about sister and GGS. Crossed fingers the scan gor GGS isnt as bad as you think. It must be awful to be kept in limbo by consultant. Do hope you get some comforting news soon. What a lovely thought about the Sanderlin. Hope the dear little thing brings luck. He/she was hopping in quite an eager way and didnt seem sad. 🙂
Wyllow I hope you hear something positive from consultant's secretary. I know from calling some how easy it is to be fobbed off though they can sometimes be helpful. Im sosorry about your bad night. You do sound very uncomfortable with your swollen tummy and you shouldnt habe to limit yourself foodwise too drastically. Just keep an eye on weight , is all I can say. My GP (1 that retired) insisted on weighing me at appts though no one appeared to know what to do. You are doing everything you can to keep things moving - yoga and massaging area. I would feel that constipated feeling of congestion and pressure even when I was thoroughly 'cleaned out'. I wonder if your tum is feeling worse after the prep. I hooe it settles soon, but you must feel v uncomfortable. I hope you havea better night. x

Sorry I posted too early.
EllieAnne Sorry you're not too good at present. I hope you feel a little better soon. Yes, I was wondering how Annie is too.
Doodle I'm pleased you andyour husband managed a little walk. Did he have a better night? The weather has been bright hete though we couldnt see more than 2ft in front of us from our back door with thickfog this morning. Have had some uncomfortable pain on and off today. Feels quite sharp and heavy at times but no idea why which keeps concerning me. It went before so hoping it will again.

Had terrible dream in early hrs about my mum. Recurring dream theme since she died 2000. Stayed with me and so tired, I had a sleep this afternoon. Quick unexpected dash to pick up DGS after out of blue call from his mum, stuck in traffic. Then upsetting news about neice and unexpected call for some help from eldest son.

Hope everyone is ok and really hoping all have peaceful and painfree night. X

Doodle we have primroses, it's lovely when spring flowers bloom and buds appear on trees. Gives one hope.
Speaking of which I hope you and your husband got some sleep last night. I felt so sorry for you both.

Sweetpeasue my privilege.

I had a good chat with my psychologist (feelings v understandable, who said call more often atm then slept. More reassured, as she is the one who could discharge me but I think thats not at all the agenda now we talked of me being well enough to do crafts again which means a longer haul.

I think this Consultant will respond maybe this week as he has to send something.

I can eat more when tum settled, which was today: I think you are the same Sweetpeasue" hoping no more dreams tonight and pain shrinks tomorrow. But guess what psychologist suggested? Yes, *writing in the night as in facing the beast by writing it out - sound familiar?!

Ellie Anne sorry things really aren't so good.

For the "Doodles a better night and good to hear about the walk! Crossing fingers and toes for consultant news soo, just as I hope for the same so much for your sister, Scaredeycat

Candy hoping feeling things tomorrow are the "right way up' a bit more.

Amitryptiline was the first anti-d I was ever on but its not used for that now but remarkably good as pain relief in small doses. Glad to hear it helps a bit nadateturbe.

HVDY hoping for better MrHV news soon, ie he low in mood as well as body?

Night night all BD's.

Sweetpeasue thank you yes a bit better night but DH was up for over an hour with RLS.
I’m sorry you’ve had some upsetting news. I hope your niece is ok and your son. Bet your DGS was pleased to see you though.
nadatetube I love looking at the trees and plants watching the first buds and waiting for signs of spring. Kind of you to think of us.
Wyllow that’s good news about your session with your psychologist. Hope you sleep well too.

EllieAnne Sorry you're not good at the moment. I hope today is brighter for you.

Doodle I meet up with this particular friend every 2 or 3 weeks, but we text every day. DH's cough is just that - no breathlessness or wheezing, so I don't think it's Asthma. I hope you hear from your husband's consultant soon. All these delays are bad. Did you both have a better night last night?

SweetpeaSue I hope the news about your niece is something that can be resolved. I often dream about my mum, she died in 1995. I still miss her. Is your eldest son ok? I hope your pain goes soon.

Wyllow I hope you're feeling more comfortable today. Good news about your Psychologist session. No, my husband hasn't got a low mood. He's happy to not be at work, and he enjoys sitting around at home all day, he honestly does .

nadateturbe ScaredyCat Candy6 and all on BD - hope your day goes as well as it can. It's bright and suny here, so I've got bedding on the line. Getting my mop chopped this afternoon x

Afternoon all, I hope everyone is as ok as they can be.
HVDY I take my AD early evening, usually as I’m pottering about in the kitchen. Maybe I should try taking it later. Im glad you had a nice meet up with your friend. Im the same when I meet my special friend - we’re at it for hours! I hope your husband gets some relief from his cough soon. I had a troublesome cough for a good few months some years ago. Tried all sorts and GP was talking about all sorts of investigations. It turned out to be an allergy to a particular tree pollen that was around that year. It wasn’t in the summer months either so I thought it was strange but that’s what it was. Some anti histamines helped. Im not saying your DH has the same but I thought Id mention it.
Ellie Anne I’m sorry you’re not good at the moment. Sending ❤️.
Doodle snowdrops are so special aren’t they? They were my dad’s favourite- he used to call them “brave little flowers” and when we lost him and the funeral cottage arrived at the crematorium, it had parked by a sea of them. It was a very poignant moment for us all and one I’ll never forget. I lost him 17 years ago and miss him a lot. I hope you get some response from consultant in London. My son was treated in London (over 200 miles away) and I have realised that the best people obviously work in the best hospitals which do tend to be down there I’ve found. Fantastic man - we’ve got a lot to thank him for and I hope your DH gets the same treatment. Yes, it would be nice to have a friendship group at my gym, especially when I eventually retire completely and I’ll hopefully be able to go more often. Yes “keep calm and carry on”is certainly a very good motto for all of us. I’ll have to search for Dog House programme, it sounds like my type of thing.
Wyllow hope your tummy problems have eased today. Im glad your chat with the psychologist was helpful. It’s good you’ve got him or her to speak to. I’ve seen my counsellor today. Not an overly good session but ok. My feelings today are a bit better. I had a swimming lesson off a friend today and felt good after that at least. I hope you hear from your consultant this week 🤞.
Sweetpeasue yes I’m surprised at how awful the feelings can be sometimes and how different, but still bad, they can be. I think they call them “feelings of unreality” and can be scary. A lovely psychiatrist once told me (a long time ago in the days when you actually did see a psychiatrist for depression) to try not to pay any attention to them as it was the brain’s way of cutting off the anxiety. Don’t know if that’s true but they’re still scary to say the least. I hope you’ve got over your bad dream. They can be so disturbing and it’s odd how these things can just ‘pop up’. I’m sorry for your upsetting news regarding your niece too and hope that your son is ok too. I hope their problems can be resolved. It must have been nice to spend some additional time with your DHS though.
I hope everyone is ok and sending ❤️ to all those not mentioned personally too. Take care all xx

Candy6 I've always taken my AD about an hour before bed (usually 9.45-10.15ish when I take it) as they cause drowsiness. By bedtime I'm sufficiently drowsy to go to sleep. I'd never even thought of an allergy, but thanks for that.

Hope everyone has been ok today x