I think our sons are old enough now Sweetpeasue although its hard to make that transition being needy from being Mum who's there for them, I'm only part way on that transition so don't think its easy.
Days like you've had its hard to find the light in life. Hard to feel you are believed, but don't give up the search for the origins of your suffering physically. I believe that you can't separate the physical and mental totally but the physical has to be taken absolutely seriously.
HVDY I'm appalled what happened to you today: yes get onto GP first thing: they need to RING A and E and kick off a fuss.
Ah, Scaredycat: that accepting we are failing and need, say a stair lift: I always think oh I'll accept it gracefully, but when it comes down to it, who can say. I fight CFS and its demands!
Tell them what you think, but after a point, it's a hard lesson they will have to accept for themselves, logic doesn't come into it. Ex's Mum my MIL fought carers and was rude and impossible: in the end, she has accepted them. I spent a lot of time over a year ago now trying to help an elderly quaker, who was expressing suicidal thoughts, and rung our mutual GP and she was prescribed stuff and then gave up for this and that reason, and in the end the GP said Wyllow you have to accept (as long as they have capability) people have the right to make their own choices, be it the hard way.
Yes, I did struggle to the gym, and then emerged to find another tirade from Ex, quite threatening, because I hadn't replied. I rung sis for advice, and we unpicked his text, and it has seemingly finally dawned on him that I will not be there for him in anyway meaningful ie the wife/therapist that tries to put his pieces together for him.
So I have stepped into his category of People to Bitterly Blame, which I avoided for a long time: I do fear at times, but the reality has always been words not deeds. I had some peace of mind this afternoon, as if a rubicon had been crossed: I shall continue not to reply, and of course contact the police if serious threats really do continue, he is known to them. He is on a personal wrecking mission hitting out. Yes sometimes fear he will take it out on himself, which held me back for a long time, but I suppose its another case that people have to make their own destiny if they refuse help.
As regards the spiritual life, I never have believed that there is a god that can change our personal destiny or choose to inflict suffering or the opposite. Perhaps closer to the Buddhist sense that creation is a sort of chaotic order, but we can choose to try and choose compassion to self and other. There meditation on Compassionate Love is key to their belief system.
Yet I do sometimes get comfort from the old hymns and religious music: there is some wonderful music in the Messiah, like "Come unto Him, all ye that labour, come unto Him that are heavy laden, and He will give you rest.
Take his yoke upon you, and learn of Him, for He is meek and lowly of heart, and ye shall find rest unto your souls."
but best experienced in situations where we trust those around us. I dont even think we have to "believe in god" to find comfort in these songs, there is many a pop song that somehow hits the mark at times. (tho I cant say I find it easy to listen to love songs at all).
A very long day there Doodle. Phew. No wonder you wanted the choc. Bests for this night ahead.
xxxxto all BD's reading and posting.
. We waited and waited. By 3.15, DH said he wasn't going to wait any longer, so walked out and we came home. I've since rang the surgery, asked if the GP would make an actual appointment for a chest CT do be done. No reply. DH is adamant he won't go back to A&E. That's been the day so far..........
x