Black Dog 15

SweetpeaSue I sometimes get UTIs with no obvious symptom other than my wee looking cloudy or smelling strong. I hope you'll notice the difference once the antibiotics kick in.

Wyllow DH admits that he's very lazy - he hasn't even had a shower today, but he went out this morning to have a blood test done. I certainly couldn't not get cleaned up, even if I'm not going anywhere. He is a bit of a slob, I have to say (he always has been but I'm noticing it more now that he's at home all day). I'm going to carry on with whatever I do, and he can sit there all day, if he likes. If/whenever I suggest dinner at a pub, he's happy to go out then (I do make him shower first). The beef ragu is a recipe from the Pinch of Nom book. Glad you enjoyed the church service. I hope you fund friends to chat with.

Wyllow Your ex is quite spiteful, isn't he, after all this time? It'll be nice for you to see your old school friend soon. Enjoy your wine this evening

EllieAnne, Whiff, ScaredyCat, nadateturbe, Candy - hope your day has been alright x

Wyllow What a nasty thing for your ex to say. Think Doodle is right in saying he's trying to provoke you but also trying to hurt you because you won't meet. Good idea to turn off sound notifications. (I'm actually doing my roots(DH does it) too often - every 2 weeks- as hair is so thin-but shows through so quickly) How lovely that you can look forward to meeting such a good friend. She obviously sees you as a v good friend too.
Doodle Glad your church service was good and sounds as if many appreciated it. Even without biscuits.
Yes, GP was v nice. My usual one on holiday. Scan appt v quick. My pain is bowel though. Strange to have infection without associated bladder pain. But brilliant for GP to ask for sample without me having symptoms. Blood tests Friday. Hope your night wasnt too bad and your DH was ok. x

Wyllow I’m glad you are not giving into your Ex. I think you have done more than anyone could expect in trying to help him but now you need to look after yourself. He’s not helping himself if he’s not taking his meds. Yes, I do remember when you met up with him and it wasn’t good, I can see why you don’t want to block him but could you just ignore his calls instead. Never been in such a position but I can imagine it’s quite upsetting for you especially at night. I wonder if he gets nasty knowing it will upset you. He’s trying to get you to react by provoking you.
Hope he leaves you in peace now.
Nice to have a visit with your friend to look forward to.
Been to church this morning. Ash Wednesday. Lovely service lots more people than usual there. Lent has begun…..we didn’t get any biscuits 😊
HVDY beef Raghu sounds nice. Making my mouth water,
I’ve just cleaned the bathroom. Kitchen and the ironing beckon but I’m ignoring the urge and looking at Gn.
Hope your legs are feeling a bit better. I wonder if your DH has just reached the point when he doesn’t feel like work anymore. Good thing he hasn’t got too long to go. Can you get him out for a walk or doing something around the house?
Sweetpeasue sorry you’ve got another infection but at least if it’s that causing the pain then the antibiotics should help soon.
March 4th not too far away now. Hope the GP was nice to you.
Candy Ellie Anne Whiff Scaredycat nadateturbe hope you are all have an ok day.

Sweetpeasue thank goodness this GP is taking it seriously and has given you anti'b's, I hope it helps and reduces pain asap x (oh, and do the roots, as in "every little helps" even when one doesn't feel like it).

Thats a heck of a long time to disappear, HVDY. sounds like *MrHV is well ready for retirement after years, his body/mind is saying "now! stop!

Ex sent me a very very nasty message around 11 ish. I answered last nights demand to go for coffee with a "we did try, look at posts in February, neither of us was happy', (do you recall he actually didnt even turn up and he had over slept and I went to find him!), think its for the best. got back the nastiest undermining ist post, (you'll never get another man with your MH stuff included) - like I'm out busily looking for dates) which sis says just ignore and I will

-its like he is not only blaming and hating everyone who has ever loved him but deliberately provoking it.

Sad, isnt it? But I will protect myself. I've disarmed sound prompts and stick to resolve. Meanwhile OK - in dressing gown reading and only have to go out for some wine later (I do like my glass of an evening with a spot of decent TV).

In the meantime my old schoolfriend has been in contact for a meet up late march and she totally understands she might have to come to me, aw and so nice, she was my bessie friend at senior school

HVDY I was just hoping that your rash clears earlier than the full 6 weeks. Lots of ironing😑.
Pain low, but still gut-like bowel. Strange as I didnt think Id have urine infection as no bladder symptoms like cystitis or frequency and burning as usual. If he'd not asked me to give a urine sample while I was there Id not have known.

Wylow You're such a good person. A lot of people wouldn't have the kindness and patience (and I suppose fear?) to be nice to an ex like yours. I hope you can manage to catch up on some rest today, and that he doesn't keep bothering you. My husband retires in 13 months (he's counting down the time and can hardly wait).

SweetpeaSue The doctor said it might take 6 WEEKS for the rash to go. The swelling perhaps a bit sooner (the drug will be in my system for a week of 2 apparently). DH isn't depressed, just shiftless. He's happy to sit around eating, doing his crosswords, watching tv, and generally doing nothing. He says he's lazy (he really is). Is the pain linked to the (bladder?) infection? I hope the antibiotics work soon. Good that the GP was thorough. Not too long until your scan.

I've got loads of ironing to do (it's been building up) but keep putting it off x

HVDY You've started the day with purpose, which is good. My roots need doing too. I always feel better when they're done. I inherited the 'going white early' gene from mum's side. Could your husband be depressed at all? Just a thought. Hope your rash clears up soon and the swelling goes down.
Wyllow Its so bad of your ex to keep harassing you and trying to pull your strings. I can understand you not wanting to inflame the situation by blocking his number if his behaviour can get very irrational. I remember you meeting him at beginning of year.I think you're doing the right thing by keeping your distance. It must play havoc with your emotions, him ringing like that. You need a peaceful state with your CFS and bowel problems let alone your mental state.

Pain in stomach and feeling very sick. Good thing is been to GP, examined (er, v thoroughly). He told me my scan appt is booked 4th March. Asked me for urine sample while there and said blood in it so prescribed antibiotics for yet another infection. Am just trying to keep going.

Hope everyone is coping with their day and thinking of you*Nadateturbe*. Hope youre feeling a little brighter.

HVDY I'm afraid it didn't end there after all. I was up till 3am as he then demanded we go for a coffee, being all nicey nice. I relied "no thank you" but then was met by "you said you would". Well that was back in December, and BD's won't recall, but we tried in very early January, and it was awful, and I decided never again. And he knows damn well why, as I'd said.
I haven't answered and yes in the night for the first time thought "time to block his number".

But he can turn very nasty, blame and hate against his brother and his mum's partner and carer, and his brother, (who lives safely in SA) and I have to date managed to remain in his head as "Ambiguous". blocking him wold be seen as a very aggressive act and I have not lost my fear. I am officially safeguarded but there is no police order in place like his mum has about going to her house. Yesterday's counselling was more about the damage he'd done to my mind so it all seemed in the middle of the night to be scary.

So it has rather washed out today, just got up.

Well done on the early activities there. Hope Mr HV perks up to do a bit. Does retirement beckon?

Wyllow You are right not to be taken in by your ex this time. Would you ever block his number? He sounds like a very complex and troubled person.

How is everyone this morning? I've got a beef ragu cooking in the slow-cooker, have "done my roots" and I'm going to clean some windows (inside only). I was hoping DH might feel inspired to do something (anything), but no.......

Hope everyone's day goes as well as it can x

Just been bamboozled with quite crazy whatsapps from Ex, who clearly is not taking meds and in danger of being arrested, which might be the best thing, but he's not taking it out on me and I'm not playing therapist anymore.

Yes, its like nadateturbe says, you have to make choices all the time and its isolating, basically I dont go out at all except for gym every 2 days, Quakers, shopping and maybe a coffee with a friend once a month and family once every 2 months.

Never out in the evening. I do have good counselling support presently and still under care of MH people. However, I do have the sort of CFS that might get a little bit better, whereas some people know they won't and I think nadateturbe is in that group. I am very grateful for Zoom however as its an easy way to have contact with people.

Bests with GP Sweetpeasue and Doodle glad it was a bit better night and love to others its been too long a day to write more.

Doodle Thank you. The doctor said she expects the rash to clear up in about 6 weeks! I hope you and your very lovely husband have a decent rest tonight.

SweetpeaSue Thanks. Best of luck with talking to the GP tomorrow.

I hope all BDers manage to have a good night's sleep x

HVDY Doodle Sweetpeasue thank you, you are all such kind and thoughtful people in spite of your problems.
Will talk tomorrow.
I hope you and all on BD have a peaceful night.x

Doodle Thankyou for caring and for your suggestions. It really has. We've not been able to have a holiday for 2 n half yrs now. I've had to miss looking after GS many times, difficult to explain to aunt,turned down sister meeting up this year.My relationship with DH and his worry and stress. Cant plan anything. So, yes, it's completely true. Just deleted most of post.I missed my dear aunt's funeral last year.
Your poor husband's quality of life with his RLS is really taking a hammering Doodle. You must worry too. I hope you both manage a restful night tonight. You must be made of strong stuff--just as well! 😃Take care.
*Wyllow *Hope you're ok today and are managing, mentally and physically.

*EllieAnne Scaredycat*Whiff and all, wishing a peaceful night.

nadateturbe thank you. Fortunately DH is a lovely man and our family all love him to bits so they were just all worried about him.
I’m glad your husband is caring and understanding. ME/CFS is still not accepted by many as being a real illness. Perhaps If your family knew more they would be more considerate.
You brother is obviously one who doesn’t understand. Don’t feel bad. There are many people out there who know what it’s really like.
No need for false cheer on this thread. You can tell it how it is and not be afraid of being criticised or not believed.
You are right, there isn’t a cure for ME but people can get well again. Maybe not exactly in the same way as they were before but they can have a good quality of life. My DH did improve considerably. He would be the first to say his quality of life was really good before his RLS struck,
Sweetpeasue it’s part of being on this thread that makes us able to sympathise with others without suffering from the same conditions isn’t it.
I do hope you get to speak to your understanding Gp tomorrow. Tell him how much it’s affecting your quality of life. I do think we should use that phrase more often. The NHS is supposed to care about quality of life and to help people in pain. Thinking of you x
HVDY I did look it up and it does look painful. I hope coming off the bP meds will help. I hope the rash calms down now and it isn’t painful. I think you’re right to have a break before you try anything else.

Nadateturbe I wondered if, with the long Covid chronic fatigue symptoms that are now occurring, there could be new discoveries that may help with treating CFS/ME sufferers. I do hope so. I noticed your interest in art. I hope that if you cant get to social groups you can still do this at home and it gives some release
from your poblems both physical and mentally. Thankyou for your kind words here. I feel guilty afterwards for posting about my problems. Take care.
HVDY So not only me who googles! 🤭 I hope once the BP tablet that caused it has been stopped it all clears up, plus the swelling. As long as the BP remains stable. Home BP monitors are such a help to ourselves and the GPs.

Doodle Glad you had not too bad a night. I hope tonight will be decent for you both.

nadateturbe You must get lonely. Are there any online groups (apart from this one) you could join? Your husband sounds very kind towards you.

SweetpeaSue Of course you need to be listened to and helped. Yes, MH is affected by not being understood or taken seriously. Perhaps write a few bullet points, so that when you ring the surgery tomorrow, you'll remember all the points you want to make.

I've seen the GP. She agreed that the rash on my feet and legs is Petechiae (Thank you, Dr Google ), and said that and the swelling, burning, etc., is all due to the BP tablets (I suspected that). She told me to stop them at once. She offered to find something else to prescribe, but I declined. She agreed to me monitoring my BP for a few weeks to see how it goes.

Wyllow, Whiff, EllieAnne, ScaredyCat, Candy, and other BDers - hope you're all managing ok today. x

Thank you Sweetpeasue so kind of you. My mood will lift.
I also can sympathise with you, but the difference is there isn't a cure for M.E. But you could actually be helped and treated properly if someone would take the trouble to listen and do something. That is very bad and sad for you. I do hope and pray someone listens soon.x

HVDY I hope you can get the Dr to diagnose and treat your legs this afternoon. Ive not heard of Petechiae.
The swollen legs must be quite painful though especially with any activity.
Nadateturbe You sound at the end of your tether. I dont have your awful illness but, I feel sincere sympathy for how you feel right now. Its such a horrible state to feel so alone and without help. To be dismissed as 'not wanting help'....!!!! It makes me so very angry. You will be so tired physically and mentally and feel you can't push thing further with these people. I wish I could offer more help than just sympathise. I'm in tears reading about your situation because I can understand that complete despair and helplessness. Please know I'm thinking of you. Sending a v gentle hug. x
Doodle Im so pleased you and your husband had a better night. Still a disturbed one--but better is some improvement. I hope it's even better tonight.

I started to ring for appt at surgery this morning, then put phone down. I was just in bits as I dont know how to communicate any more and it's no good seeing yet another GP. Im going to have to speak to same one as last week as he heard me last year when in terrible pain and advised A&E in April. Dr I moved on to after other retired is away. Just been out with husband for coffee and in such pain Ive come back in tears. The GP is on tomorrow so will call then. Something is wrong. I think I must be being dismissed as having some mysterious chronic pain without cause, and its simply not true. Ive looked through my diary and the bowel trouble started weeks after the op a couple of yrs ago. I dont even care if no one is held to account but someone needs to listen. I definitelygot short term relief after adhesion was cut. As so many here have said-- it DOES affect MH if you're not listened to and feel completely alone.

Hope everyone is coping today. Wishing you all well. x

Your poor husband Doodle. I didn't realise that. (I'm sure I've read it on BD but it's difficult to remember- so many posts.) I hope his family understand now.
I'm glad last night was a bit better and you've a bit more energy. Don't waste it all cleaning. 😄
.
My children and friends don't understand and I tell them as little as possible because I would just sound like a moan. My husband does and he's wonderful just as I'm sure you are with your husband.
My brother thinks it's all psychological. I've stopped trying to explain.

I think I'm going through a low spell. I'm sure I'll cheer up soon. 🙂

Hi HVDY. I know, but thank you. I was answering you saying it sounds very debilitating. And then I addressed Wyllow3. 🙂
I'm isolated because I have very little energy for socialising. Even phone calls to my children are very limited. Life is so narrow. I'm trying to make a huge effort but progress is difficult.
Sorry to grumble. I'm glad your GP is going to see you in person. Hope he helps.x

Whiff hope you had a good night and are feeling ok too.

Morning all after a reasonable night. Only up walking for a few minutes and the rest of the night seemed to go ok.
Thank you all for being so concerned and kind.
HVDY I wonder with doing housework if I get too sidetracked and after doing a bit of cleaning think Oh I’ll just have a quick look at GN. Then I might play a game or two before moving again. Im easily distracted from cleaning or ironing duties 🤣
Glad you are getting your legs checked in person. It’s all very well seeing photos but in a case like yours I think you need to be seen. Hope the appointment is helpful. I’ve never heard of that problem, will look it up.
nadateturbe I do sympathise with you. Not because of suffering myself but from watching DH go through the same.
For years DH couldn’t get up the energy to visit even family. I don’t think anyone can understand what it’s like to live with CFS/ME unless they’ve been through it themselves or lived with someone who has it. Are your family understanding and supportive?
Sweetpeasue Wyllow hope you had a good night.
Thinking of Ellie Anne and Scaredycat too.

nadateturbe It's Wyllow who has the CFS. I'm sure she'll apppreciate your kind words. So sorry that you feel the way you do. What makes you so isolated?

I managed to get through to the GP earlier, was asked to send photos of my legs (I believe I've got PETECHIAE but also swollen legs/feet because of tablets I'm on). The GP rang me back, said they need to see my legs/feet, so I'm going this afternoon.

Hope everyone has a better day than yesterday x

HVDY CFS/M.E. is extremely difficult to live with. In fact just thinking about it to answer you, had me in tears. It does affect your MH, how could it not?
I went to the theatre on Saturday afternoon and am still recovering. Didn't make art yesterday. My husband has eye treatment Thursday so I will have to miss Wednesday art or I couldn't drive him home. I have friends with serious illness who can do much more than me. My ability to interact is very low because of isolation. I could write pages on the misery, tiredness and pain.
I'm so sorry for you Doodle. Losing sleep is do debilitating.
Wyllow3 the help for M E. is a joke. Although I know of a few in GB who actually get listened to. But they are the exception.
I missed two appointments which were one and a half hours drive as I couldn't make it. I was dismissed from their list as not wanting help!
Don't they know how unpredictable this illness is?
And there is only one person allocated to for this in my Health Trust. It's a box ticking exercise.

Love to all, sorry can't comment much, but I do read and sympathise and remember you all.

Wyllow CFS sounds very debilitating. It must be difficult to live with. I hope you hear from your GP soon and that you get some help.

SweetpeaSue Your problems have been going on for so long. Someone needs to sort things out properly. I hope your pain lessens today.

Doodle I hope your DH gets to see the local person soon. Poor man, he (and you) must be exhausted. I have to sit for 10 minutes between all the housework. My husband did nothing yesterday, apart from bring a few bits of washing in.

ScaredyCat Thinking of you and your DH.

Love to all BDers this morning x