Black Dog 16

SweetpeaSue Even if you can't face eating much in the morning, have a couple of crackers or something, with Tramadol. Hope book club goes ok

Happy anniversary Hvdy. Enjoy your meal.
I don’t have a summer house. Would love one but there isn’t a suitable place. But I do spend a lot of time in the garden.
I’m sorry I don’t reply to everyone but sometimes I get mixed up with who has posted what!
Sweet pea sue I wish someone could help you. Your pAin sounds awful.
I’ve done my best with sons house but it’s far too small for 4 of them and all their stuff.
Son works horrible hours and d in l has 2 jobs so I understand why it gets messy.

Doodle I'm sure your husband is completely and utterly fed up with illness. My problems are nothing compared. Regarding the pain, I had shoulder pain once and an ultrasound showed an impingement. It cleared up quite quickly. Fingers crossed for your husband. I hope you get that little break. Where will you go?
Sweetpeasue I keep a tin of Rich Tea beside the bed, and take one before painkillers. They're quite low fat and sugar. I'm sure the book group will give you a lift.
HVDY I think 4 5 is good for cholesterol. Happy anniversary! Nails sound lovely.
EllieAnne I get muddled too. I hope you're having a good day.
Candy what a lovely view from your van. I think fees must be higher in GB. We're on a lovely site NI and our fees are under £2000.
I agree about side effects, the information leaflet we get with medication is frightening. I'm sure it makes people unnecessarily anxious.
Doodle we have ITVx without ads. It's great. No annoying ads and it cuts the watching time too. We are watching Poirot. I'm watching Little House on the Prairie for chill time. Broadchurch was very good.
Scaredycat if I am writing a long post I do it as a draft email then paste it on BD.

I wonder how Wyllow3 got on driving.

No art today. New hairdresser used up my energy yesterday. She talked so much I had to ask her to turn the radio down so that I could hear her. However she told me so many bad stories about their GP surgery that it reinforced my decision not to move there.
I just got an Ikea laptop stand delivered to use as an art stand. The huge box and packaging was unbelievable. A toddler could sit in the box. (That brings back memories).🙂

Hope everyone's day is OK.

Doodle- you are so right about most of us wishing our lives would be “normal “ again. We have all had life changing experiences and illnesses but we are still doing our best to make the most of what we,ve been dealt.
Agree with your DH - being told your BP is too high doesn’t help at all.I have a phobia about the BP machine and only have to see it and it goes up. Even the home one.😩
Your cafe sounds perfect - great to have a toilet stop on a walk too. I,m glad you live in such a lovely place. Our new cafe is not in town but in our village about 3 minutes from our house- what temptation.
Hope you get to the sea next week it will do you both such good . 🤞🤞
Candy- what a beautiful view - it reminds me of Cornwall.
Will you swim in the sea when you get confident?
I think my ADs might be starting to help.Like you I have spent my life-despite so much grief- resisting them but felt it was time .
The older you get the quicker time flies! Even though you don’t do as much- go figure!
HVDY- Happy Anniversary- hope you have had a lovely day and you enjoy your meal this evening.
Your nails sound so pretty- any chance of a photo? What a thoughtful gift from your Son.
Wyllow- hope you made it to Hospital ok. I can read maps well but don’t get on well with the Sat Nav. I am full of admiration.
Hope the psychologist call was helpful- you will enjoy life again - you,ve had so much on your mind and are still hurting every time a memory is tarnished .
To me you are a very strong brave person.
SweetPeaSue- hope your counsellor has secured another set of sessions- you will have a lot to discuss tomorrow.
Book Club will be a distraction - hope you enjoy it. My friends who belong to Book Clubs all say they enjoy the chatting and tea and cakes as much as the books.
EllieAnne- maybe you could have a little corner in the garden that is just for you. We have a tiny garden but I got one of those egg shaped chairs and enjoy sitting and reading there in the shade.
Your DS and DiL must be so thankful for your help- what a nice Mum you are. Young people have to work so hard these days don’t they.
Nadateturbe- At least the hairdresser helped you make a decision with regards to moving.
The Art stand sounds good- there is a different perspective when working upright as opposed to the picture laying flat on the desk. I would like to see one of your,pictures.
Love to all

Quick photo, back later

HVDY WOW those nails look FAB!

- it just shows how on top of our own health details we need to be, doesn’t it?. Fine tuned decisions: sometimes we do know best (and have the right to make decisions, too)

Ellie Anne hats off to you for making your son and families life a lot better than it might be.

nadateturbe painkiller advice noted! I’m a very long term Poirot fan and also I’d like to have access to the whole of Foyles War..love Vera..some thrillers…Father Brown..
You got a pretty important “message” there from the hairdresser, didnt you? Its like the “evidence” for what to do is piling up. Neat Ikea idea.

Scaredycat -I was so glad to read that the AD’s seem to be benign and effective (little hurray and good for you).

Yes, painting upright makes all the difference on anything but a very small painting. Especially when eyes aren’t 20 years old anymore.You need the perspective it gives. (I have a traditional wooden desk stand in the attic maybe it will come down sometime)

You make such kind comments. Of course, after all the worry, I drove there easily, and the Consultant familiar and we’ve fixed for the op to remove the Alien on the 23rd May and price was do-able as its day procedure.

Then I had a couple of things had no choice to do, chemists and a needed collection, and on coming home had to re jig lots of things in the diary I could not put off, phone calls, mainly to clear space and cancel stuff I just cant managed.

But that meant a real overloading and back to just ill and low. Hoping to get to the gym tomorrow but as I have the Barium Meal on Friday morning must be wise.

I think I make it difficult for psychologist, last time I was going all out for move to be with family and now…
She did understand why I’ve changed my mind on that I think, ie I’m trying to be realistic not idealistic on family but the way I got so desperate to move quickly I cant stop it made me iller……

she said you have to be kind to yourself etc maybe put off moving but I said yes if a few weeks or even 4 months would make CFS better but thats unlikely and I’m not just unhappy in this house but cant cope with looking after it and lovely bittersweet garden .

Felt a bit shocked as I talked about the possibility of the Mc Carthy and Stone option and she didnt say, “oh but you’re not ready for THAT yet”.

(Makes me think, well maybe she thinks a high level of support with my long term MH Stuff and CFS and struggling being alone isn’t such a bad option…? I did actually ring them up as its supposed to be 75 but they would take me with a special needs label at 72)

*Sweetpeasue I posted for you first on my notebook page them missed it off, sorry have NOT forgotten you. I felt so much I hope you get another 12 sessions for your support and care x
(and good tramadol advice its toast here)

Oh no, I wrote for you *Doodle too and it got missed off! Yesterday - yes that all too much too quickly as been happening for you.

I hope the Tramadol is tolerable to hit the pain in NrD’s shoulder…has it worked? Could be so many reasons when he’s been more inactive - its so easy to pull or twist something.

Will you manage the seaside?

Trying to read and catch up on posts. Wyllow What a relief to get the driving bit done and the date sorted for alien lump removal. Your mind is so busy and you are thinking about so much. I know that feeling though I'm not so articulate. Brain is v sluggish at present. Hope you dont use up too much of your energy reserves. You seem to be dealing with so much.
HVDY Those nails look immaculate! You must be pleased with them. Yes I do google IC. Have just got a good book by Interstitial Cystitis Assosiation. Needs updating though so go on their website. Heavens that cholesterol figure was perfectly fine. Enjoy your much deserved dinner tonight.
EllieAnne You are a godsend for your family. Thats really thoughtful of you to help your son and DIL when they're so busy. Thankyou so much for your kind words.
Nadateturbe. Good tip about the Rich Tea biscuits. It was 5-30am so didnt want to faff on. Hope you liked your hair cut and it was well worth it for the timely advice about surgery. I loved Little House - can still remember it's signature tune.
Candy Hope you enjoyed your swimming lesson this morning.
Scaredycat . I hate losing a post. Still texting on my mobile so I need to stop doing it this way. Actually our book group started out as more of a college thing then it closed so we carry it on informally in a rented hall. Its quite structured still though and I dont know quite a few now.
Doodle It's good to hear you are arranging a little break away. You both so much deserve it after such a busy and worrying time. A little time seeing something different will be so good. I hope your DH's shoulder problems aren't long lasting. Like Nadateturbe, I had shoulder impingement and I had a steroid injection that worked like a miracle cure. I got the name of a Dr that Im under from another Drs secretary for Pain M but she's not been answering. Will try again tomorrow.

Sorry if left anyone out. I went to book class and I felt really awful. The words on the page were blurry and I felt exhausted and knew I couldnt force small talk in our interval break so left halfway through just saying I had to go early. Didnt mention reason. None of them know about my medical condition. I stopped long ago telling them after op as when something is ongoing and complicated you start to look stupid.
Back home tried to sleep but couldnt.

Whiff, Nanny, Sally and all BDs hope you have as best night as can. x

Sorry can’t post tonight had fall and badly broken wrist. Just got home from hospital. Might have op tomorrow. Love to all xx

Wyllow3 Glad you made it and have the date of op sorted. It's a bit nerve-wracking driving somewhere strange.
You have a lot to deal with. One thing at a time maybe. McCarthy and Stone, I've missed, must look back.
I lovely all those programmes although not thrillers, too stressful, I start shouting at the TV (really!)
Sweetpeasue sorry book group didn't work out, but it was worth a try. I hope your pains ease and you get some sleep tonight.x
Scaredycat isn't it really amazing how time flies just when you need it to slow right down. So many days I look at the clock and can't believe it's almost teatime. (dinner time to some). I'm glad your antidepressants are working. I think it's great that people can get these. They sound very helpful. And yes young people do work very hard. My daughter is up at 6am with 2 sons and it's nonstop until the youngest is in bed.

Thinking of you all on BD and wishing a peaceful night.x

Oh Doodle that's terrible. Hope you have efficient painkillers. Sending you much love and wishing you all the best for tomorrow. It sounds a bad break. So sorry. 💐

Evening all,
HVDY yes, the photo is the view from my van. I love it. We overlook the bay and it changes all the time. When we arrive and go around the bend and it comes into view, my spirits lift immediately. Congratulations on your anniversary, I hope you enjoyed your dinner tonight. Your nails are fab. I love bright colours. I’m not a big fan of beauty treatments as in facials and stuff, but I do love getting my nails done. Good job you’re knowledgeable about your meds, more so than the professionals it seems.
Wyllow well done on your drive. I’m the same as Scaredycat, I don’t do maps but do satnav. I don’t mind driving anywhere as long as I’ve got use of it. Glad you’ve got a date for your op. It will be good to get it over and done with. I’ve got some relatives who looked at McCarthy Stone properties and they said they were lovely. I didn’t realise the age was 75 though. Lots of retirement properties around here are 55. At least you’ve got options to consider.
Ellie-Anne your son and dil obviously work very hard. They must appreciate your help a lot.
Sweetpeasue I understand why you are nervous about the side effects now. I would be concerned too. You would hope that there would be a way of monitoring any possible adverse effects. My swimming lesson wasn’t too successful today. I’m learning breaststroke at the moment. They say it’s the hardest to learn (lots of coordination) but the easiest to do. I’ll keep trying. I’m sorry you had to leave your book club and I hope you manage some proper rest tonight.
Nadaterturbe yes, the fees here must definitely be more expensive. Ours are £4,000, which is pretty much the norm. The “all singing, all dancing” sites are as much as £8,000! Our site is open 11 months though and it was a big decision for us but one I’m glad we made. Ah, Little House on the Prarie. I love it. Reminds me of my Mum, she loved it too ❤️. I didn’t realise that’s what ITVX was- TV without the ads - bliss! At least your hairdresser gave you some valuable advice re the GP, must have been worth listening to her babble on! I’m sorry you missed your art class. I hope you feel better now.
Scaredycat yes, my aim is to swim in the sea a little. It’s quite clean I think. Always looks nice and clear anyway. I’m glad you’re noticing the AD’s starting to work. I hope this continues and I’m sure it will.
Off to bed now. I’m grateful that I can go to bed now and actually sleep. When I was at my worst, I would dread it, scared even as I was either so anxious that I couldn’t sleep, or I would be afraid of waking up with a panic attack, so I’d stay up for hours. At least I don’t have that now thankfully. Wishing everyone else a restful night xx

Oh Doodle you poor soul! (hugs). Soddi*.

Waves nadateturbe and Candy hurrah for the sleeping. I can recall when you wondered, "will the meds ever work".

Wyllow So glad the hospital appointment went well. Not long to go to get rid of the alien. That'll be one thing less to think about. All the very best for your appointment tomorrow. My husband loves all those programmes - Poirot, Father Brown, Midsomer Murders, etc.

Doodle Oh no! I hope you'll be ok and not need an operation. You and your DH have one thing after another. Will family be able to help you out a bit?

EllieAnne You're a lovely mum to help your son and his family. I'm the same, enjoy helping out.

SweetpeaSue It's a shame you had to leave the book club early, but at least you went. I understand about not talking to people about illness etc - some wouldn't understand anyway. People tell me "You don't look like someone who had a stroke" (I don't have the one-sided weakness look). I hope today is better for you.

ScaredyCat I'm pleased the ADs are starting to work. I wouldn't want to not be on them now. They allow me to function.

Candy6 Thanks. I've never had any beauty treatments. I once had a back/shoulder massage, hated it and felt so self-conscious. I'm going to get my toenails done next week. Well done on the swimming lessons. It's a good skill to have.

nadateturbe Like you, I don't like too much noise going on. My brain soon feels overloaded with it all.

I enjoyed dinner last night - Beef Goulash with rice, then vanilla cheesecake with (a tiny portion) ice cream, plus 2 vodkas. . I'd only had a bit of fruit all day, so hopefully shouldn't have ruined the diet. Hope all BDers manage to have a decent day. Special thoughts for Doodle x

nadateturbe

Thanks all. Think might be having op. Hospital phoned and said don’t eat anything. No a problem as feel very nauseous.
Be back as soon as I can. Take care all x

Oh Doodle, that's terrible. (Big hug).

Back later, going to caravan.

Oh Doodle love, courage and strength for you both today x

nadateturbe enjoy your caravan.

HVDY that sounds an OK meal after fruit all day.

Thinking of you and counselling today Sweetpeasue, hoping it goes well, hoping you get more as I'm clear you need that support.

nadateturbe as regards McCarthy and Stone its not surprising there's a ??? becuase over the last month or so I've wobbled between moving to be with family area and staying here, but also what sort of accommodation to look for.

Up north with family I'd been aiming for a retirement complex with a manager there.

But Mc Carthy and Stone is higher levels support (and older age range) and frankly the way I've been feeling, and knowing that CFS is long term, I'm tempted, and there is one tho not in my "target area", not too far. Just a place to feel supported when alone and poorly - a refuge but snags.

Rung DS last night to say I cant come for weekend of 19th.

Summary - love is there, warm chats on family/politics - but not "so sorry to hear how you are's or similar." Good reality check against dreams of levels of support I'd have got.

And this call came in the same half hour as a Quaker friend whom I'm just getting to know said would I like some help hospital wise (collect me, make me cuppa etc).

Put these two together?

I had a grim night with extra meds in the end, not surprising after yesterday but am in more thoughtful mood playing music

on the journey of not wishing for we cant have and accepting the bits we still can?

Doodle- I,m so sorry you have had an accident - what a horrible shock for you both. Hope you are not in too much pain.if you have an Op I hope it goes smoothly. Wish I was near and could come and help you.
Candy - glad your sleeping is good now - it must make such a difference.
Breaststroke is the only one I can do but my legs just trail behind- I can’t do the frogs legs 😩
HVDY- that was a lovely meal - so glad your tummy was better so you could enjoy it.
Nadaturbe- enjoy the caravan hope the sun is out.
SweetPeaSue- hope you have a good counselling session today.
Sorry you had to leave the Book Club but well done fir making the effort.
Wyllow- I think sometimes our families don’t like to admit we are not so well anymore and put their heads in the sand a bit. I,m sure your family are concerned for you and only want what is best.
Kind Quaker friend - it must have made you feel cared for.
That journey you describe is a hard old one to take isn’t it- yes be grateful for what you can do.
Hope your appointment goes well tomorrow.
Love to all and have the best day you can- Doodle sending a hug.

Oh doodle! 💐💐💐

Doodle Thinking of you and hoping you have had your wrist op and not in too much pain. 💐
Candy Breast stroke seems hard. Ive never had instructions but many years ago I tried to do it and it seems there's a LOT of co-ordination involved with arms and legs. 30 secs of it and I hadnt moved forward at all but was completely gasping.
HVDY People say some odd things don't they - re your stroke. You are so right in that they just dont understand. You meal sounded lovely. I've started to be v serious about the IC elimination diet so started today with no coffee, 1 cup of decaff v watery tea on morning and def no alcohol so glass of wine (occ 2)
has to go 😕. ICA guidlines say for 2 weeks then add bothersome things to see if they are culprit. I'm doubtful but I'll do anything if it stops the pain.
Scaredycat Your egg chair sounds so cosy. Can imagine its a lovely contented place for you with your book. Is it on the ground or one of those suspended ones?
Wyllow Oh I do understand about - 'when the chips are down' and seeing who is there for you. It's important for you to know as it is a big part of the pros and cons of moving. What a lovely Quaker friend to offer help - you must have been touched.
I'm afraid the counselling session, though ok, was marred by my pain and at the end I realised the further 12 sessions would have to be applied for by me self-referring. When I self-referred before it took a year! I'm not sure if it would take so long a second time. Because today was a 'follow up' my next and last follow up will not be for another 4 weeks. Such a long time.
Nadateturbe Hope you've been ok today. Have now got my Rich Tea at the ready. Have you got any art work on the go at home?
EllieAnne Your family must appreciate your doing so much for them Im sure. Hope your day has not been too bad.

Woke in early hrs with bladder pain. Took oramorph and ibuprofen. Eased enough to turn up for counselling. Was mild rest of day up to 5 then terrible, more painkiller hot water bottle. I'm scared its more than IC as so severe though know IC can have big spectrum of severity.
I'm really trying to kedp lid on fears.

Take care everyone and special thoughts to Doodle. X

Home after op. Ok but out of it. Take care all x

Oh so pleased your home Doodle. Hope you can sleep and won't be in too much pain. Night. x

Coming in briefly as have 8.15am Barium Meal small bowel so 2/3 hours tomorrow morning. Went and twigged my back again badly after a good morning, curses and tramadol and lying down. My little Quaker Zoom group is suddenly in change and more than unsettling. (Not main Sunday group)

Doodle I'm glad you are home and hope you get some sleep.

Sweetpeasue can you self refer again asap? They do triage. Sorry to hear of so much pain again.

Best wishes all - not nervous about physical details of procedure, but a lot going on in my head and doubtful re sleep.

xxx BD's take care

Wyllow Oh no, that back must be so vulnerable and sensitive now. Hope pain eases enough for a chance at sleeping.
All the best for tomorrow. Youll be glad when its finished. x