Anxiety re street party

Willow73
If you decide to go, do as they want and just take food for yourself and husband and don’t forget the drinks too.I once took my DD’s to something like this and forgot the drinks, the kids were thirsty and I asked a group of people if they could have some juice and they said no! We immediately left and never went to another.It was a horrible unfriendly place tho people pretended to be friendly.
Where I live now is really different and neighbours are nice.
So if I were you I’d take a bottle of wine and a few sandwiches and see how it goes, if unfriendly don’t stay long.

If you know you are going to find the street party difficult don't go. Easier said than done to think " I will go for a short time" Don't feel guilty about not going! Having said that you may surprise yourself if you do go! I would enjoy it but recognize some people would find it difficult. Do what you feel comfortable with , if you don't go - so what!!! Whatever you do try and relax.

I ve never lived in an area that has street parties ( although I ve lived in lots of different areas) so have never been to one

I m not anti but not into monarchy so I won’t go looking for one now, for sure however I do think a little effort on your part as it’s a fairly new neighbourhood might work wonders for you and as it’s nearby you can escape any time
However if this is going to make you upset in any way then go out for the day with your husband and do something you would enjoy doing instead
It’s no big thing just a very rich man having a weighty object plonked on his noodle Don’t get pulled into feeling guilty if you don’t want to go

Is there someone "taking charge" of it? If so give them a ring on the pretext of "best to bring...?" Or "do you need help with the table set-up" or whatever and then you have at least made contact with one person.
If they seem friendly you can say you're feeling a bit shy about it and that you hope you will find people to chat to. I think they will seek you out then.

People respond well to this type of introduction.

I hope you are pleasantly surprised.

Short and Sweet as they say. Everyone will be on the same page with the same common interest so you shouldn't have any 'trip hazards' as in difficult people. I would go and say ' Hello, my name is X and I live at No. Z. Aren't we lucky with the weather?' etc. Admiring people's dogs is always a favourite or ask if they have any pets or a cat and swap details about pet names. Safe area and when you have done the circuit you can go home and you will probably find you really enjoyed it or met a new neighbour.

NotAGran55

Is there a law in your street that says that you have to go? Nothing on earth would persuade me to go to anything like this in our village . Nothing to do with anxiety, I simply wouldn’t like it and wouldn’t go.
Be true to yourself OP and don’t be pressured into going if you really don’t want to.

Amen to that!

Life's too short to have to accommodate things and people for the sake of 'appearances'.

OP
There will doubtless be others who don't want to attend, for various reasons.
If you are suffering from anxiety, just don't go. It's not compulsory and your absence might well not be noticed anyway.
I'm a gregarious person and can handle these situations, but can well imagine the dread felt by those who really don't like socialising.
Anxiety is a horrible affliction. Don't add to your stress, remember, you don't have to attend.

I would say get to know your neighbours, say hi and drop in for half an hour.

Take a plate of easy food, a readymade quiche, sausage rolls or perhaps a cake.
Stay for a short while, long enough to introduce yourself, smile, exchange niceties, then say you need to get back because you're expecting an important phone call/other excuse.

Then at least the neighbours won't think you're being aloof and wanting to avoid them all.

Who knows, you might enjoy it more than you think 🙂

Shelflife

If you know you are going to find the street party difficult don't go. Easier said than done to think " I will go for a short time" Don't feel guilty about not going! Having said that you may surprise yourself if you do go! I would enjoy it but recognize some people would find it difficult. Do what you feel comfortable with , if you don't go - so what!!! Whatever you do try and relax.

Spot on. If you don't want to go why worry for weeks, tell yourself you are not.
Take no notice of people saying you will enjoy it when you get there you know you won't and why work yourself up?
Many people are like you and although they may appear to be the life and soul of the party inside they are tied up in knots.
When we came to our village we soon realised that there were quite a few events that went on and felt obliged to turn up. They were all in big family groups and we felt like interlopers, we soon cut it down to the ones where we knew we would be welcome and have stuck to that. More people have come in with the same attitude and no one as ever accused us of staying at home, how rude if they do.

No-one is forcing you to go, so don't fret about it. If you do decide to put in an appearance, keep it simple with your food contribution, then just play it by ear and decide how long you want to stay. You may be pleasantly surprised, but even if it doesn't quite work out like that at least you'll be remembered as having turned up and contributed.

If you don't want to go, don't go. You are allowed to say no

Great idea!

It is ok to refuse an invitation or not join a social event. If asked just say “Thanks for asking but I do not like social events” or even before being asked get the word around that you are not a sociable person.

It is what I do and nobody has ever taken offence, most people would rather you were at an event because you wanted to be and not because you were forced into it or attended out of duty or guilt.

Well nothing would make me go to a street party if I didn’t want to. And I don’t suffer from social anxiety at all. But then I suppose I could be different from yourself I tend to speak my mind not in an unkind way of course, I would tell anyone that asked that’s it’s not my thing but hope everyone had a great time

Has a great time

I'd be the same, and unless had someone to go with, would hide behind the door. Doubt it will happen here anyway?

Moved in a year past January - only the lady next door has spoken (when we chopped down a load of bushes as she hasn't been able to work in her kitchen without the light on for 15 years!) but even she hasn't said a word since my daughter died; the son of the very old lady next door, and the lady next door but one introduced herself when I first moved in, so not particularly friendly around here ....

However, there's you and your DH, so were I in that situation I would go and see if you have anything in common with them all? Don't have to stay long. But if it is really causing you bad stress, be somewhere else ....

Please ignore the advice to seek out “older folks.” There is so much to be gained and learnt from younger people too. Different views and interests. Community is about difference. It’s good to know your neighbours. They are the nearest port of call if you have a problem.

There will be a lot going on in town, for children and families and I won`t be going to that. An older widow always looks so pathetic at these commnal family functions. If there is a party in my very local area, then I will be keeping my head down and will not be going. No explanation is needed, not to anyone.

Tbh I am hoping that those who want a party will walk to the one in town and if the weather is nice I will go on a lovely solo cycle ride without running the gauntlet

You're not alone at all. Lots of people don't like socialising.
I would love to enjoy it, but it's just not me. I'm sure my blood pressure goes up when I have to attend things that there is no getting out of.
If you really would like to give it a go, then do, and leave as soon as you feel too anxious.
If you are going because you think you should, don't.
As Whitewavemark2 said, no one will care. You probably won't even be missed.
What you don't want to do is spend all the time beforehand feeling anxious. So either make a decision now, or tell yourself, I will worry about this on the morning of the event, (thats what I do with flying, dental appointments, scans etc. , and then I switch off).
Do whatever makes you happy.

I just love our street parties - but wouldn't dream of only taking food for myself. I'm vegan, so take my own food and drink - plus a plate of snacks/crisps for others, maybe a bottle of wine.

I'm easily bored so can't sit or stand around for very long (but can blame my back problems). It's handy that I can pop indoors for a decent cup of tea, take the dog for a run or simply move on to say hello further up the street. It's ideal for me, a quick chat then I can talk to somebody else. Don't let anyone give you tasks or duties - or install you anywhere permanent in a chair. Just practise your excuses first:

Must pop back - I'm cooking
The dog's waiting for her walk
I promised to go and see Nancy
I must get my phone
I've got more snacks to bring out
etc.

You can find out an awful lot about people by how they behave at these events, too. There's the friendly, generous lot opposite, who bring out tables and chairs, bbq and booze and invite us all to join them.

Then, the fun music and dancing crew further down, the kids and dogs playing near the corner, the sad ones who just draw their curtains and stay inside.

There's that bossy, organising mum who tries, in vain, to get me to hand out cupcakes ('Sorry, no, I'm too clumsy, |I'd only drop them.')

Finally, the nearby miserable sod who insists (despite the road being closed) that we all move so that he can park outside his own house - pathetic.

Finally, the nearby miserable sod who insists (despite the road being closed) that we all move so that he can park outside his own house - pathetic
Then there's the person whose Amazon delivery arrives at the height of the festivities 😁

We had one for the Queen's birthday - but few are Royalists, it's just a good excuse for a party. Go - or not - but don't do the half-way-there thing (like one family) of having your own table and guests - inside your own front garden - because that's just too weird!

Callistemon21, yes, there was an Amazon driver, who kindly walked up the road and was given many cakes!

Hetty58

Callistemon21, yes, there was an Amazon driver, who kindly walked up the road and was given many cakes!

Yes, the one delivering to a neighbour stopped halfway, smiled, walked the rest of the way and was offered cake, which he declined 🙂

The republicans join in here too, well, most of them.