Older person - no appetite

growstuff I was interested to read that your mother hated all those nutritional drinks because I cannot see that I would ever willingly consume anyof them. I am mildly lactose intolerant and anything containing milk or even appearing milky makes me feel sick. Also I do not have a sweet tooth, which discounts a lot of them and really really loathe foods that have fake flavourings. They also taste of chemicals.

One of my great fears is of being ill enough to be off my food and have people plying me with those drinks/nutrition and trying to make me consume them.

I think I would be tempted by pieces of cheese, cherry tomatoes, diced cucumber, tiny pieces of bread and butter, everything to be savoury and nothing sweet.

I have just been looking after my friend, post operation. Her absolute must have favourite in times of just not wanting to eat is potato, very well mashed with lots of butter and cheese. She got me quite addicted. Also discovered Bonne Maman mousses. But my all time favourite is proper home made chicken soup. It may often be the butt of jokes, but those Jewish ladies really do know what they are talking about.

Also Monica, depends on how old the person is, and how they feel about life and continuing 'for the sake of' - like you, the thought of being encouraged to eat, to the point of being constantly 'force fed', is abhorrent. Very old people have always chosen, consciously or not, to eat less and less and fade away.

My mother hated all the cajoling and constant encouragement to feed or be fed- and saw it as an infringement on her decision that she had had a good innings, but blind and without the use of her legs, jsut wanted to quietly fade away and be let to be.

Fleurpepper I wasn't really thinking of end of life situations when a person just gives up. I was thinking of those times when if you are ill food has no attraction or savour.

I looked after a relation suffering from depression, who once that was under control, returned to normal and enjoyed his food. When he was in hospital he had a variety of these meal replacements and they looked revolting and their consistency and flavour turned my stomach. I think he recovered because he realised that he would be stuck in hospital with these awful replacement meals until he was eating again and eating was the lesser of 2 evils

He decided to move into a care home and I visited him one day and he told me how he that morning he couldn't be bothered to go down for breakfast, and the next thing he knew, one of the carers came in with a tray with a lovely cooked breakfast, he thought they were being kind and thoughtful (they were). I recognized that, knowing his history they had taken immediate action to stop him drifting back into non-eating by starting to skip meals,

MOnica My mother had a very sweet tooth, which she'd fought against all her life. By the time she was very ill, the priority was to get calories in her, so I think she was quite grateful not to eat the healthy stuff, but be given "permission" to eat chocolate and ice cream.

The OP doesn't say whether her friend has difficulty swallowing. If it's more a case of no appetite, all the gloopy stuff might be unnecessary. That's why I wondered what her favourite food is.

Yes Monica, totally get what you are saying. The OP is not clear about the situation. Thinking back about my own mother, triggered my reply. She had all her head to the very end and hated being totally dependent, and did not want to be 'force fed' - as she put it.

The person I am talking about is very old. Hopefully not end of life. And does very much still want to live as far as I know.

We are thinking she may have turned a corner thankfully. Will see what today brings.

A poster mentioned metatone. She has had that in the past. She likes familiar things on the whole. So will get in a bottle of that. Because of the tiny amounts of food she has been eating, I think she must be lacking in the vitamins and minerals.