Black Dog 19

DH up and out of bed in chair today. So pleased he’s making progress at last.
HVDY good your DGD has her little sister with her for a few days, do they get on?
I hope your son’s custody hearing goes well for the benefit of the children. Their mum sounds quite a bad influence on them. Sounds a bit like she has a split personality,
Hope you’re feeling better soon and the antibiotics kick in and make you feel better,
I’ve pulled a muscle in my stomach and it’s making me walk like an old lady (which I am 🤣)
Sweetpeasue still early days for DH with walking. He can manage to stand by holding in to a “Stand helper” but can’t walk yet. He has pain in his heels and blood blisters so walking would be a bit much at the moment. He’s certainly much improved in last week though.
I don’t think we would have misunderstood existing was painful as being physical pain. I can understand a bit what you mean. You just want the pain to go away and have your life back again. DH has said much the same in the past too.
Do you have any friends you could meet up with for a quick coffee and chat who understand your situation? I have a friend and we work in a basis of if we’re ok we meet up but if one of us isn’t it’s not a problem we try again another day.
Could you try a trip to the beach with your DH?
Ellie Anne you are in a very difficult position. You obviously help your DH even though you are not happy together,
Your loneliness shows through. Worrying about family is a common theme on this thread,
What does your daughter usually do for Christmas. Loneliness can be in the mind. You can be in a group of people but if your thoughts are troubling you, then you feel alone with them even if others have been around. I often find myself saying quiet prayers even when chatting with others. My mind is concentrating on my problems and worries.
Im sorry about your DGd. Bullying is such a horrid thing. I’m glad she’s got a lovely mum though.
nadateturbe I’ve not heard about that manoeuvre before. Glad it helps you. I think my palpitations can be linked with trapped wind under the ribs which I’ve been getting more of since my pacemaker was fitted.
I’ve found myself talking to myself at home now DH is in hospital. I don’t like the quiet but I’ve never been one to have the Tv on or music playing so I just talk to myself. I get my Alexa to turn on the lights as I open the front door so the place seems welcoming. But it is strange.
Whiffgood you have a good understanding of your UtI problems and know what to take. Thank you, I think DH is in the mend now.
Hope you’re keeping ok too.
Love to Wyllow and Scaredycat and all of you x

Doodle That's good news about your husband. I hope he'll soon be walking about. Is he using a Rotunda? My GDs get on well, although the younger one can be spiteful at times (she shares a bedroom with the 15 year old at home, which I think is a ridiculous idea. Son1's GF's boy is 13 tomorrow, so they'll all be going out for a meal. I've just put a card through the door with some cash in. Are your husband's sore feet being treated? Ooh, your pulled muscle sounds painful. Hope it's better soon. I talk to myself a lot, always have done. I have actual conversations about things - it's apparently to with anxiety to do that.

Nadateturbe I’d be fine living on my own. But he doesn’t seem to think that there is anything wrong.

She sounds very strange HVDY. Especially as she's nice to others.
Doodle interesting that your palpitations are associated with trapped wind. I very often have palpitations followed by burps.(sorry, no nice way to say it). As I said there seems to be a link in some cases.

HVDY- you have a lot of,worry at the moment on top of,what sounds like a horrible UTI. Hopefully you,ll feel better when you have finished the course of tablets.
I think Doodle could be right about your GDs Mum- sh could well have a personality disorder to,behave as she does. It’s almost as if the strain of being nice all day at work makes her just the opposite when she gets home. I do hope it all works out for your Son and his daughters - he is a good Dadand must be very worried.
I talk to myself too- my husband often calls through ‘who are you talking to?’‘ I just say ‘myself cos I always listen’.
EllieAnne- it seems to me you have nothing to lose if you tell your husband how you feel and ask him how he feels too. He sounds very inhibited and insular . Has he always been like this or has something happened to him to make him this way.
I,m sure he must see how much you do for your family and him too- it sounds as if he just can’t communicate his feelings.
I,m so sad for you that you have to live like this.
I,m sorry your GD is experiencing unkindness and bullying at school - it must be so worrying for your Son and his wife.
Doodle- I,m so glad your DH is progressing a bit more each day now. His poor feet sound so painful - but he can stand now which is a good start.
I expect your heart is still,getting used to its new bedfellow - hope the palps stop soon. Hopefully too the wires will settle into a more comfortable position. Trapped wind can be very painful can’t it.
Good you can go home to a bright house- I expect it seems very quiet without DH there. At least though you know he is safe and warm and being looked after so you can relax and rest - hope you are eating ok.
Take care Doodle you mean a lot to us all.
SweetPeaSue- you didn’t mislead at all - I understood that you meant life itself was painful for you at the moment.
I,m sure your friends wouldn’t mind if you arranged a coffee date and then weren’t able to make it. If you went in the afternoon when you feel less pain.It would do you such good to get out and chat over a coffee- and a cake!! I bet your DH would be pleased to see you able to socialise a bit.
I hope your MH appointment today went well and was of some help.
Whiff- glad to see you. You have such sensible advice for whoever needs it. Hope today has been a good one for you.
Nadateturbe- hope you feel ok today and managing to do something you enjoy.
How’s the painting going? My GGD loves to paint and has asked for Acrylics for Xmas. I think she will enjoy using them- it was fun chosing everything for her.
Wyllow- thinking of you and wondering how your day has been xx
I feel worried about my GGS who’s has Crohns he is not so well and has to have infusions. He’s so good and just gets on with his life which is not easy for an 8 yr old to,deal with. Also my 2nd eldest GD who has a few health issues has just had Covid again and it has triggered Asthma-just hope it isn’t permanent.
Trouble is with so many of them there is always something to worry about . That’s what Nans are for I guess!!
Love to,allxx

Doodle It's so good to hear your DH is up in a chair. I'm really pleased for you. I didn't realise his feet were so sore with the blisters .Now he's up in chair I hope that will improve. Oh dear that trapped wind sounds v uncomfortable for you and what have you done to your tummy-how did you manage that? Hope it feels better soon.
Scaredycat Sorry to hear about your GC and your GGS. The poor little boy having Crohns .He is the same age as my GS and it must be so difficult for him. It is true that Nans always worry about their DGC and you have a lot to worry about though a lot to love too. You certainly speak for us all about dear Doodle meaning a lot to us all.I don't have a friend to go for a coffee with I meant it would be nice if I did. That's not meant to be self pitying -just fact. I used to have a friend(though not close) but that fizzled out (her decision) when I started with original pain after surgeon's mistake. It was a shock really and it's difficult.
HVDY Oh I really feel for you with that UTI. I hope this second lot of antibiotics work soon. Your son must be so concerned about his daughters- no one would make these decisions lightly- and I hope things all get sorted so your GDs feel more settled and happy.You must be so worried. Its good you are all such a close supportive family for them.
Nadateturbe I hope you've been OK today. I can't see the previous page on this phone so I'm sorry if I've missed

Both talked to MH nurse and feeling a little better that he's up to date with my condition. He recognised my getting v upset when DH referred to the Dr's cover up so he knows I'm still v fragile there. He understands my being anxious about the Pain Management appt and what may be said about past experience.

Sorry for missing some but thinking of you all.

Sweetpeasue was writing reply to you but need a rest. Will write soon.
Incidentally wonder why you can't arrow back a page.

ScaredyCat She was like it when she didn't go to work (when GD1 & 2 were little, my son kept them all, financially). She was nice to us, at the very beginning (although there was something about her I didn't like but didn't show it) She's got every trait of being a Psychopath (they don't all become killers, even Winston Churchill was rumoured to be one). She can't keep a boyfriend or female friends. They soon get to realise what she's like. Unfortunately, she doesn't believe she's got a problem. Oh your poor little GGS. Crohn's is an autoimmune condition, isn't it? What a lot for a child to cope with. Your GD too. We worry about our families, don't we - it's what we do.

SweetpeaSue I'm glad you found your MH session useful and that he seems to understand.

Hope ALL BDers have a relaxing evening. I'm just waiting for our dinner (DH making chicken Jalrezi) and getting down a bottle of wine . I invited my brother but he completely ignored that. He hasn't been to my house for 18 months. x

Not to worry*Nadateturbe*.
I find if I arrow back off the page I've half written my message on the message disappears.

Ah I see Sweetpeasue.

Wyllow So hope you're getting enough MH help.We all are wanting you to be well. Sending you love.x

Not ignoring anyone, totally zonked. Oh to be normal!

Back tomorrow. Sending love to all.xx

Nadateturbe Please don't worry.Get your much needed rest.Night sleep well.

Night night all.
OH to be norma indeed!

Bests, BD's xx

What is normal? I’m a 73 year old sitting in bed drinking wine and watching filthy home rescue on I pad. But it is my time and my space.

There is no such thing as normal. Anyway normal would be boring. We are all unique and very glad we are. Being unique means we always have something to talk out even if it's nonsense like me . Because of my HPX my words get muddled up and forget what I am saying half way through a sentence.

Last month had my Sainsbury's delivery as usual . Put the eggs in my old home econ basket I used at school where I put my recycling. Few days later went to use some eggs. Couldn't find them anywhere. I had put the recycling bin out ready for the next day. Yep you guess it I had emptied the basket and there where the eggs sitting on top of a pile of boxes and paper. Luckily they weren't broken . The box was still clean and eggs prefect as they are in their own sterile container. So I used them.

Getting off the bus after my craft group one week my leg foot went sideways and my leg wouldn't move. The driver offered to help me but thanked him but said I can do it. So I grabbed my trouser leg and pulled it off the bus to joined my other leg on the pavement. I walked my normal wobbly way no idea why it didn't want to work. But talking to others with HPX things like that happen to them with different parts of their bodies.

I can be out in a shop if I haven't got a shopping trolley to hold on to. I can be walking to one aisle and I veer off down another. If I am with my daughter and grandson's. The oldest will say nannie will be back . Walked anywhere I start off in a straight line but end up going up people's drives ,into fences ,walls etc until I can stop my body moving. Then get myself straight again. But it's been happening the last 35 years so it's just part of my life. My falls I have had since I could walk.

Until last year thought I was just weird but know it's because I was born with HPX. But without being born with a rare hereditary neurological condition I wouldn't be me. 🤔

We are not just what condition we have we are unquie that's what makes our lives so changelling but also interesting. Yes it's horrible to be in pain all the time but I have never know not being in pain . Without the constant pain I wouldn't be me.

All of you show such strength and courage everyday but always ready with kind words to others ,help, support , understanding and friendship. All facing hardships yourself.

So who would want to be normal . ❤️

nadateturbe Hope you had a good rest last night

EllieAnne I love those programmes. I wonder if the people keep their homes clean and tidy afterwards? I drank the whole bottle of wine (DH doesn't like it), dozed off for an hour and went to bed at 1am. Slept until 8!

Whiff You have had such a lot to cope with in your life - much more than must people - yet you still manage to cope, and to give excellent advice, all with humour and empathy.

I got up at 8 but am still sitting here in my dressing gown, so must get moving soon and vacuum this place and clean up a bit. Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day x

OK, average, not normal.
Sorry can't join in atm. Brainfog is very bad. Waiting for it to lift.
This is what I get for enjoying myself.
Hope everyone's day is OK.

HVDY What a disappointment your brother didn't accept your invitation. 'You can lead a horse to water....' Are you feeling any better yet with the UTI?
We took aunt out shopping this morning but and starting with bladder pain now but I'm glad I managed to do that as she has been ringing me a*lot*. She doesn't understand or remember anyone's circumstances bless her.
NadateturbeOh dear your having 'pay back* time for enjoying yourself. So unfair. Hope you feel better soon. Average would do me too.
Whiff You made me smile about your GC's comment 'Nanny will be back '. You are such a trooper- even if it's sideways!
Certain antibiotics suit different UTIs and different people. It must have been so puzzling having all those UTIs and so painful. Nitrifurantoin is my saviour too though know it doesn't suit all.
You are so right about the idea of 'normal'. A nice way to think of it.
EllieAnne Treasure that alone time to do just as you want.You deserve that me time . Hope today has not been too bad for you.
Doodle Hope DH is good today and he doesn't need any extra care from scarce weekend staff.

SweetpeaSue I feel much better, thanks. It still stings when I wee, but the tablets don't finish until Monday night. My brother is his own worst enemy - he's alienated a lot of people, over the years. He says I'm his only support, but he sits at home, alone, dwelling on things and being miserable. I could go to see him, but his house is so dark and dingy . I'm glad you managed to see your aunt. Has she got dementia? Did you have cake somewhere? I hope your bladder pain soon settles down. It must be utterly miserable for you.

Hope ALL BDers are ok today. It's gone really dark here so it's probably going to rain. x

HVDY So glad you're a bit better. I once passed out with the pain from a UTI when trying to find an out of hrs surgery.I rushed into what I thought was surgery and it was an Opticians. They wheeled me outside in a wheelchair to the correct place! You must have had some upsetting disappointments over the yrs with your brother and are resigned now to his ways but it must still get to you ,especially when you've been helping so much. Yes,I think aunt has beginnings of Dementia.She rang me 6 times last night in half n hr. There's a Costa franchise in the Tesco we go to - myself and DH had toasted T-cake.Aunt had a quarter of mine -she hardly eats a thing. Bladder pain about a 4 (pain scale)thanks so not too bad just get fed up but lucky not severe as it can be.

So dark here too and wet .Have 4 Roses out!
Take care .

SweetpeaSue That must have been awful. I've had these infections before, once in my kidneys, which was very painful. My brother drives 12 miles to see his friend sometimes, and his to pass where I live. He also drives 15 miles to see an old lady he used to help when he did care work. It sounds as though your aunt has got dementia. Nothing you can do about that except be patient, and it sounds as though you definitely are. Toasted teacakes are lovely. Glad your pain isn't too bad. I started watching a programme and kept dozing off.

HVDY not sure what a Rotunda is but he is using a gadget with four wheels and a handrail and seat. It does a brilliant job of moving him around.
Really difficult for the 9 year old. Easily influenced by 15 year old but still a child so her bond with her blood sister should be close. Good to hear they get on well. The 15 year old may well go off and do her own thing soon if her mum keeps kicking off.
How lovely to make your son’s GF and her son feel part of the family by sending him a card and present. I bet he’ll be very happy with that. Nice they are all going out for the day to celebrate.
Well at least you’re talking to someone who knows what you’re thinking 🤣
How’s your UTI are you feeling better? Enjoy your meal, sounds really nice.
EllieAnne I wish you could live on your own but I do wonder if it were possible whether you’d still be worrying about your DH.
nadateturbe apparently there are many people who have indigestion who think they’re having a heart attack . There is some connection between the type of pain.
Scaredycat us self talkers obviously have a captive and receptive audience🤣
Thank you for your kind words but I think the reality is we all mean a lot to each other. We’ve been together a while now and it’s surprising how much you can care about someone we’ve never met.
I’m so sorry I’ve been neglecting to ask about your dear GGs. I assumed, I think, that he was doing well. Poor boy, a lot to cope with when you’re only 8. Hope your GD asthma improves soon too. Yes there’s always family to worry about. Hope things improve for them all soon.
Sweetpeasue thank you tummy feels better. I think it was just that I’m not eating and drinking at proper times and I haven’t been drinking enough water.
Sounds like the MH appointment went well for both of you. The man sounds understanding. I hope he can help you.
Nice of you to take aunt out. Glad you managed it.
nadateturbe I can understand being totally zonked. Nice of you to pop in. even if you just say hi then we know you’re around. 😊
Ellie Anne when I come home from the hospital I am here on my own (I know it’s different for you) and I get undressed and into my dressing gown. Tidy up a bit them get myself something to eat and a glass of wine and settle down to watch something innocuous (in my case Escape to the Counrtry) I have a wind down, a bit of me time. Cheers to you 😊
Whiff that must have been frightening with your leg. What a strange experience. At least you now know what causes it.
You’re right we are a product of what has happened to us in life. I think you’re the one with strength and courage. Facing all that pain and what you’ve gone through. Yet you’re always at hand here with a kind and supportive word to others. Using your experiences to help others is a kind thing.
Sorry not written a lot tonight and might have missed something but I’m really tired now, bed soon I think. xx

Doodle I've attached a picture of a rotunda. I think your husband must be using something else. I feel a lot better, thank you. Hope you're looking after yourself, and that your husband is getting on well now. Have you seen your family?
I was, on 2 separate occasions, certain I was having a heart attack. The pain was unlike anything I'd known. I couldn't speak, breathe properly, or move. Was sweating, and felt terrible. Both times, DH rang for an ambulance. Both times, it was Colic.

I hope everyone is having a relaxing evening. DH and I started watching Stan Lee's Lucky Man, but I can't follow it x

Doodle Glad the tummy is a little better. It must be awful coming in to your empty home. Alexa is a big help to turn on your lights like that. Pity she can't make you a cuppa too! It's so awkward to eat and drink properly at hospital as you'll find yourself fitting around what they are arranging for your husband. Hope you have a good rest tonight and it won't be long before your husband is home with you again.Cheers to you too.