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Black Dog 19

(1001 Posts)
Doodle Fri 13-Oct-23 22:36:41

For the support, understanding and sharing of mental health issues.
All are welcome. We treat each other with kindness.

nadateturbe Thu 21-Dec-23 15:47:33

Derby you don't have to post individually. I often don't if I don't have the energy. You are very welcome here. I haven't been part of the group for very long. I find it very supportive and nice to have people to chat to and hear what they are doing and how they are, as I can't lead a normal life socially, due to M.E.
I hope you are OK.x
Your day centre sounded lovely today HVDY. Games are fun.
Hope you are OK Sweetpeasue.

Sweetpeasue Thu 21-Dec-23 16:29:33

HVDY Your meal sounded lovely. Thankyou for kind wishes for friend. x
Derby Nadateturbe puts it v well that we just post what we can and no need to worry about individual posts. You are v welcome. I hope your day hasn't been too bad today.
Nadateturbe Thankyou for asking. I'm going to have to say how it is I'm afraid.

I have so needed this threads support from the beginning and I think of everyone as friends and care about you all.
Pain this morning was worst ever. I'm truly scared that I might have to live with this without any explanations or hope that Dr's can help me. I hope I don't sound cowardly but I honestly don't think I can cope if it's going to be this bad. I know I can't. Took 60mg of cocodamol didn't touch it but waited half n hr of unbearable pain before realising I'd need Oramorph.Just take a gulp as can't possibly measure onto spoon -could barely reach for it. DH couldn't do a thing. Not enough Oramorph again not lasted so need GP tomorrow. How I'll get through I don't know. I'm sorry , I just don't know who to turn to. Will tell him it's getting worse.
Doodle I so sympathise with your DH Hope his patch is helping him and you're OK.

Hope everyone is coping. X

Scaredycat Thu 21-Dec-23 16:50:18

EllieAnne- so pleased you will have company on Xmas Day- your tree looks lovely. Dont feel second best just be glad they will be with you and enjoy the company. You are getting on really well with the preps and the shopping so then you can relax a bit. You are so kind how you consider your DH likes etc- he doesn’t know how lucky he is.
Glad the ECG was OK but if you are still worried maybe after Christmas you can talk to your GP. What did your DD say?
Doodle- my head is ok now thanks it’s just the procedure if I hit my head . I should be more careful 😩
Hope the morphine patches help your DH with his pain and he soon feels more comfortable.
Glad you have Boxing Day visit to look forward to.
Nadateturbe- I,m glad you are feeling better - your SiL visit sounded very trying. I have someone who calls round sometimes and behaves exactly like that- it makes me feel physically and mentally so stressed I could scream too. They don’t listen either do they.
Enjoy your run up to Christmas but make sure you get plenty of rest too. Did you paint any Xmas cards?
HVDY- Hope your DH was able to get the ADs you suggested. Sertraline made me and my GD very nauseus to start with but wore off eventually.
Hope those cats were sick after pigging out like that- last nights menu sounded more Fox friendly.
What a good little girl your GD is- she sounds very sociable and loves your company. A really good day for you all.
SweetPeaSue- hope you are feeling better today- what a shame as you seemed to be doing better lately. Your letter is probably in the post- so many letters are piling up as the Post Office is prioritising parcels.
I,m sorry about your friend you can obviously read between the lines and sense she has a problem. What a kind caring friend you are.
Wyllow- thinking of you as always- big hug
Derby- as Ellie Anne says you will soon get to know us. We are here to support each other and anyone who needs it. Post whatever or however suits you- we,ll be here for you.
Has your DH done any more baking?

Yesterday was such a sad day for us we visited our friend whose DH is in H with his Alzheimer’s. She was in such a poor way and so distressed. Her memory is dreadful and she seems to be getting very poorly. Her family are lovely though and she lives in a very safe and secure place.I just wanted to cuddle her and make it better.
Many of you will know what I mean.
Candy,Whiff,Allsorts,Hairspray,Nanny,and everyone not mentioned hope you have a peaceful night

many of you will know what I mean

Whiff Thu 21-Dec-23 16:55:10

Derby just write what you want. I can't remember what everyone is up to . But if I read a post I know something about then I do post the members name otherwise I just ramble to everyone. I only joined I think it was this year. I thought it was trivial how I was feeling but the support here made me feel so much better .
We talk about anything going on in our lifes. Went to my craft group Christmas party today. Made millionaire shortbread, gingerbread cake ,cheese rocks and sweet potato and mango chutney samasoes. But everything is made my short cut way. I can't do things I did a year ago. My body won't let me. But I find another way.

That's what everyone here does they find a way to what they want . You must have short cuts to do things before you broke your arm and found ways since. Plus looking after your husband. So just chat . Online friends can be better than some friends especially if they don't understand what you are going through. Here it's different . No judgement just support, friendship and understanding. And know you are not alone .

Whiff Thu 21-Dec-23 16:56:21

EllieAnne forgot to say love your tree and the way the lights shined on the walls.

nadateturbe Thu 21-Dec-23 18:34:17

Sweetpeasue my heart goes out to you. I feel your pain. I don't kow why you are being allowed to suffer like this. And I understand you saying you can't cope if it's always going to be like this. Is there a family member who can speak to your doctor and explain exactly how you are and how you feel? Could your MP maybe take up your case. No one should have to live in agony. I wish I lived close. It won't help but I am giving you a big hug.

Ellie Anne Thu 21-Dec-23 18:35:53

Scaredy-cat dd is not saying much but is not impressed with my surgery. I’m worried about her. She is not keeping in touch and I hate to think of her on her own over Christmas.
I’ve to phone dr tomorrow for results but I might leave it till next week.
Was taken aback at the price turkeys. But will have to buy one anyway.

nadateturbe Thu 21-Dec-23 18:48:31

Well done on the shopping EllieAnne. So thoughtful of you to make a cake for your husband. I hope he appreciates it. You can start to look forward now and relax.
Can you tell your DD how you feel about her?

Scaredycat, I hope you are well today. How is the AF at the minute?
It is very stressful someone just talking. To be avoided if possible.
I am alternating days of activity and rest, and it’s working so far. I only got one card finished in time unfortunately with being ill, so had to buy cards for the GSs. Not important, it was fun painting it.

Sweetpeasue Thu 21-Dec-23 19:22:20

Nadateturbe You said in your post ' won't help but....' The special thing about this thread is it actually does help, just to know someone cares and makes such a difference and I thank you deeply.
I get so worried about what others might think after I've posted but I just feel so desperate. My sisters live an hr away but they are v busy so there's just my sons and tbh I don't think they can comprehend my condition at all. They don't see me in that state. GPs seem unable to do anything but give painkillers but I will try and get across the severity tomorrow(hopefully) I've ran out of pain descriptions and it just seems like no one hears. Have started to up dose of Amitriptyline-needs to be done gradually. You are so kind. I know you have your own pain to deal with and I do empathise with you. I understand its so difficult to pre-arrange anything.x
EllieAnne Like Whiff I thought your tree lights looked so special and the reflections on the wall beautiful. I'm sure you must feel a bit anxious about results of test but the result may hopefully be reassuring. I would try and see a Dr after Christmas if you are concerned , it's your right to request a GP. Was reading today that Tesco are reducing their Turkeys so not sure if that happens from tomorrow. Good luck.

HowVeryDareYou2 Thu 21-Dec-23 19:27:37

SweetpeaSue I wonder if you'd be able to have Morphine patches instead of the Oramorph? That way, you'd get a measured amount, all the time. Perhaps it would be an idea to ask your GP?

ScaredyCat My husband got a prescription for the Mirtazapine but he has all his medication delivered by Pharmacy 2 U (I don't know why he doesn't just have it sent to Asda, like I do), so he'll get it in a few days and start it then. It's so sad when someone has got dementia, particularly for their family and friends. Does your friend's husband recognise them all? How's your AF?

Whiff You did a lot of baking! I so admire your attitude. Samosas are a favourite in our house. We'll be having some on Christmas day (we get them from a lovely Indian deli). I bet the people at your group loved all the things you made. How many people went?

nadateturbe It sounds like a good plan to be active and then rest the next day. I'm sure your GSs will love the cards anyway.

I got my pyjamas on early (6ish!), so going to watch tv with a vodka soon. Hope ALL BDers have a cosy evening x

Derby You'll get to know us, but feel from to post whatever and whenever you like.

EllieAnne Will you have an actual turkey or a crown? Is your daughter choosing to be alone over Christmas?

Sweetpeasue Thu 21-Dec-23 19:35:59

Scaredycat I expect you're right about the post right now. I have many things in common with this friend and she opens up to me. We have had limited contact this Yr but I was v disturbed to hear her and think she may have be having psychotic bizarre experiences. It must be v sad to hear your own friend so distressed about her DH .You must feel so helpless, I am sorry.

Sweetpeasue Thu 21-Dec-23 19:45:32

HVDY I wondered about the patches myself when I heard about Doodle's DH but don't think it would be necessary for it to be in my system all day as my pain isn't a constant process. I get attacks that can last a couple of hrs then on and off at lower levels throughout day. I think the nerves just fire off that affect bladder and bowel it's strange. Even when pain subsides after painkillers have helped if I pass urine afterwards it starts the pain off again. Opening bowels can set off low bladder pain.
Hope your fox gets his food tonight before the cats. Thanks for caring.

Sweetpeasue Thu 21-Dec-23 20:28:35

Doodle Do hope the morphine patches will help your DH. I'd never heard of them before. I wonder if they will make him sleepy. Your poor DH suffers so much. How are you with the pacemaker? I hope you don't feel as tired.
Wyllow Think about you every day and hope so much you have the help you need.x

Hope everyone has a peaceful night in mind and body. Thinking of all BDs x


Doodle Thu 21-Dec-23 20:35:07

HVDY you are so lucky the little one is such a happy child. That’s a long time to have her.
Glad your DH has had his meds changed. Hopefully he’ll be ok with them like you are.
Ah today I didn’t envy you your meal…..I don’t like fish 🤣
You sound nice and relaxed tonight, enjoy your evening.
nadateturbe I hope the idea of one day doing stuff and one day resting helps you. Must be hard not to be able to plan ahead. I’m hoping the patches help DH but apparently they take one to two days to start working. Hopefully tomorrow things will be better.
Sweetpeasue sorry about your friend. Of course I will pray for her and hope things are ok.
I do wonder if the morphine patches might help you, DHs pain is nerve pain and like you it’s not constant but comes and goes in surges. Mainly after he’s walked on his foot. The podiatrist said it’s better to have the constant flow of pain relief rather than to act when the pain comes on as then you will be in pain till the meds work. It really might be worth talking it over with the GP. I know you’re not in pain all the time but the patches only last a week it may be worth giving one a try.
Derby there was a time when we didn’t know each other at all. The knowledge has only come through posting on the thread a long time. People have joined at different intervals.
Despite the fact we do know lots about each other you are most welcome to join in. You don’t have to reply to everyone individually or make comments about things but just tell us how you’re feeling if you like. We are not a closed group. All are welcome to join in as much or as little as they like.
Ellie Anne well done on the Tesco shop. You were lucky it wasn’t too busy. I agree the turkeys are very expensive. I went to Waitrose and couldn’t get in the car park. You are busy getting everything ready. Hope your cake turns out well. I’ve been baking brownies for my grandson today. Your tree is very pretty. Ours only has a handful of battery lights on but it is tiny.
Hope you hear from your Dd soon.
Scaredycat glad your head is ok. DH has to be careful too. I suppose I will if I’m on blood thinners too.
So sad to hear about your friend. It’s good she has caring family and is in a safe place but it does make you wonder what goes on in the minds of the confused. Does she realise where her husband is?
Whiff you’ve been very busy with the baking. I love the sound of your craft group. Ours is just me and my friend but we are getting together for a Sherry and mince pie 🤣
Nice post to Derby
Wyllowsending a hug x

Sweetpeasue Thu 21-Dec-23 21:02:39

Doodle Thankyou for your prayers.I wouldn't have mentioned it but I genuinely didn't know what I could do.
I can mention the patch to GP ,see what he thinks. I think my pain will be ongoing as there doesn't appear to be a cure. My DH mentioned to PM Dr if a nerve block would help though she just said less invasive things first. Hope you both have good night.

nadateturbe Thu 21-Dec-23 21:52:44

Scaredycat I forgot to mention your dear friend and her husband. It's so sad for them both, and it's awful when you can't do anything to make it better, but at least you can be there for her to listen and give her hugs.

nadateturbe Thu 21-Dec-23 22:09:53

Doodle I hope the patches are helping your husband. Enjoy your sherry and mince pie. I didn't realise (or remember?) you were in a craft group. What do you do?
Sweetpeasue as Doodle says sometimes constant pain relief works. When I had head pain from the lamp falling on it, I was advised to take the amitriptyline regularly, not just when I had pain. Perhaps whichever painkillers you use, it might be worth a try, even for a few days.
Whiff you don't ramble! And your recipes are great.
Watching Jeanne Robertson on YouTube. Her humour cheers me up. I recommend her.

Goodnight everyone and those not mentioned personally. Wyllow3 thinking of you. I hope ( and pray) it's a good night for you all. x

Wyllow3 Fri 22-Dec-23 00:03:26

Night night all BD's xx

Doodle Fri 22-Dec-23 20:22:24

I took patch off today. DH didn’t think it was helping. He was in such pain last night and wanted to go back on co codamol so that’s what we’ve done.
Doesn’t mean it wouldn’t help you Sweetpeasue so might be worth a try.
nadateturbe my craft group is only me and my neighbour 🤣. We just have fun painting or making things. All sorts of painting, making things from kits, mosaic tiles, diamond art. Nothing fancy just an hour or so’s fun with a cup of coffee and cake and a natter and laugh.
How’s everyone been today? I’ve pulled a muscle in my shoulder I think. Might have been wrapping presents yesterday. Every now and then I get a stabbing pain.

nadateturbe Fri 22-Dec-23 21:29:41

Doodle It's so difficult to get the painkiller that works best for you. I hope the cocodamol is helping yourhusband. .
I think I remember your shoulder hurting before. Perhaps there's a weakness. (Might not have been you). Maybe try some heat on it.
Your little craft sessions sound a good idea. I've a friend I might try that with.
I'm shattered, went to visit my bf. Traffic was horrendous and my poor husband gets very agitated in traffic and made me nervous. I was driving. But it was lovely to see them. Why do people not visit each other as much when we get older, I wonder.
Hope everyone is OK.xx

Scaredycat Fri 22-Dec-23 21:45:30

Evening all.
EllieAnne- did you get your results or are you leaving it till next week?
You can phone your DD over Christmas- I expect she can’t leave her cats alone . Hope she’s ok.
How about a turkey crown - M and S have some nice ones.
Nadateturbe- glad your new regime is helping.
I keep thinking about my friend - she is so sad . But she will be at her DD for Christmas so will be safe and loved.
AF is ever present and makes me feel very tired but the upside is I don’t live in dread of an attack as it is constant and I can forget it as long as I,m not doing too much. Just have to accept it.
SweetPeaSue- No need to worry about what you post - you need somewhere to express what is happening in the knowledge we will listen without judgement. I hope you are able to make someone understand the depth of your pain- you shouldn’t have to suffer as you do.
HVDY- I don’t think my friends husband recognises people much now. He does know it’s her though at the moment. Seems only a minute ago when we were all young together and so glad we had such good times .

Love getting into PJs - it feels so relaxing. My DD always has one PJ day during Xmas hols.
Doodle- yes you do need to be careful on your blood thinners especially if you bump your head .
Yes my friend knows where DH is and why but her heart is broken and I,m afraid she is getting very poorly.
Better that your DH uses the meds that he feels more confidence in. I do hope he gets relief soon.
Lovely you and your neighbour craft together- such a companiable thing to do.
It’s amazing how tiring wrapping can be - you could well have overdone it yesterday. Hope it feels better tomorrow and that you are able to sleep well tonight.
Wyllow- wondering how you are and hoping you have some brighter days soon.
Derby- hope your arm is feeling a bit more comfortable and you are able to get restful sleep.
Love to all those mentioned and those not xx

Sweetpeasue Fri 22-Dec-23 21:50:15

Doodle I'm sorry the patch didn't work out for DH. Perhaps it doesn't deliver enough painkiller at the essential times of pain. I do hope the shoulder pain eases. If it's a pulled muscle and causes inflammation would ibuprofen help to ease it for a few days and prevent it worsening? You must have had a v strenuous present wrapping session!
I hardly dare say how today's been. Dh asked for 2 appts. Receptionist wanted to speak to me --same old interrogation technique. (You can't see Dr for that and you can't for this and you can't discuss more medication with him!!) I pleaded with her for more Oramorph-said I'd to write it on paper and hand it in -then it would be put in their prescription box , and hopefully, she couldn't promise, a prescription might be given. I was in tears when DH got his call a few mins later from GP. DHs BP v high so needs to stop steroids(which he cant do)or take extra BP tablets (already on 2 and statin).
Lovely GP and DH told him his BP was high right then because of receptionist and said my pain had got worse with vomiting and diarrhea. GP said he needs to see me after holiday for proper talk and gave the Oramorph.
Had pre-arranged appt with psychiatrist at home. Absolutely lovely and listened attentively all about the Dr's cover-up and I know she believes every word. So caring. Confirmed my appts with psychologist to help me go through it processing whole thing(like PTSD ) She realises its all ongoing.
Sorry but also got letter from PM Dr. Much so wrong
DH fuming and he went into a real taking charge mode(thank heavens) PM Dr thinks I'm still under Urologist for IC. Yet he wrote to PM telling them it was CPP. DH says he'll sort everything and we'll go to top PM Dr privately if we can't get anywhere.
Worried about his BP with all this.
Our NHS is truly on its knees now. So many important mistakes made. No one wants to see you unless it will be a quick fix.

Hoping everyone's day hasn't been too bad and the Christmas rush hasn't got you on your knees!
I think of everyone and hope you all have a peaceful night.xx

Sweetpeasue Fri 22-Dec-23 22:00:22

Scaredycat Just read your post telling me no need to worry about what I post! Phew thankyou so much. I was just worrying about my post!! Thankyou for your caring. I don't know how I would have survived those last Yr or so without you all here. Your posts are so lovely and you have been through so much yourself. It's a bu***r you still have this AF to put up with. You are a brave lady indeed. Have you tried Nadateturbe's trick of putting a notice up on overgead cupboard doors? smile

nadateturbe Fri 22-Dec-23 22:27:04

Scaredycat I'm glad you're able to cope so well with the AF. Acceptance is sometimes the best approach.
I'm a pjs person too. Usually in them by teatime. And I take time choosing nice ones.
Your poor friend. She's missing her husband so much. It's very sad. It's sad getting older and feeling things are changing. Our visit today felt different to what it used to be, but as you say, we have good memories, we must remember that.
The craft thing is companionable. Great idea.

nadateturbe Fri 22-Dec-23 22:45:46

Sweetpeasue what a stressful day. Your receptionist sounds like a right cheeky soandso. (I can think of more suitable words)The GP should have said he would tell her off. She shouldn't be able to make such decisions. I'm sorry you'd such a hard time. And your husband too with his BP. The surgery sounds a nightmare. Unfortunately the NHS is not what it used to be but your dear husband is trying his best to sort things, and get some proper help. I wish him well.
At least the appointment with the psychiatrist went well and sounds promising.
I hope you both managed to relax a bit tonight and recover.

Goodnight and love to to everyone on BD. Hope you have been ok.xx

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