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Black Dog 19

(1001 Posts)
Doodle Fri 13-Oct-23 22:36:41

For the support, understanding and sharing of mental health issues.
All are welcome. We treat each other with kindness.

Ellie Anne Mon 04-Dec-23 15:56:03

Oh well that’s definite now. Not seeing any of the family at Christmas. They are both seeing d in l s family.

nadateturbe Mon 04-Dec-23 16:16:21

Doodle did you get through to the doctor? how are your legs?
HVDY it seems silly to have a mat and no rails on the bed. I don't understand that.
The only time I ever took ADs, over 30 years ago, I felt really weird and jittery, worse than the depression. I was changed to prozac which I now know is fluoxetine and was ok with those. I'm afraid that's all I know about ADs.
I had a lovely time yesterday, but felt so ill and exhausted and pains in my upper body all night. It's a high price to pay for an afternoon. Just up at lunch time. But still not back to (my) normal.
It's strange your brother coming to collect you, perhaps he's just being nice. hmm

Scaredycat Mon 04-Dec-23 17:06:05

Hi All.
HVDY- glad you’ve got the car seat sorted.
Poor SiL how confused she must feel it is such a cruel condition. We are going to see our friend with Alzheimer’s tomorrow- it makes me so sad but what makes me sadder is how people who were their friends don’t seem to visit anymore.
I know what you mean about online shopping - it’s too easy isn’t it!!
It’s a good idea to practice getting up and down - down is a piece of cake but getting up is awful now.
Maybe your brother has seen the light and realises you too can sometimes need a hand.Hope DH gets used to the Sertraline soon- it upset my tummy a lot to begin with.
Doodle- I take Amlodipine too and my ankles swell a bit but not worryingly so- I always try to sit with them up in the evening .
Oh dear what a worry for you- it’s bad for DH confidence isn’t it to have another fall not to mention how much it must frighten you when it happens.Hope he’s steadier on his feet today. One thing you are not is a wimp!!!!You deal with everything that is thrown at you so bravely.
Nadateturbe- started the wrapping!! I have just under 50 things to wrap so doing some each day😩
So glad you had a good time with your friends- people who share your memories and who you love. Glad you were able to relax afterwards.
SweetPeaSue- so sorry you,ve had awful pain again- glad that you were able to get out a bit though. Hope you,ve got to see GP today.
Don’t feel bad about your Aunt you are so kind to her she will understand.
EllieAnne- oh how soul destroying it must be to not be able to share the comfort of a simple thing like cosy lighting. Please keep warm and try and be kind to yourself- you deserve it.
Oh it’s disappointing that you won’t see your Sons on Christmas Day- maybe you can get to see them for a little while other days over 5he holidays. If not perhaps you could get in some nice treats and watch something you enjoy on the TV.

Well I have to go and get ready now as we are going for a Xmas meal with a group of friends. The ADs help with things like this as I used to feel nervous about going out.. Warm clothes are in order!!
Wyllow - hope you are keeping warm and managing to eat.
love to all those mentioned and all I,ve missed out.Xx

nadateturbe Mon 04-Dec-23 17:17:03

I too give to my chosen charities, one of which is Sightsavers, which I think is really imoprtant, and Cancer research UK, and others. I tear up anything that comes through the door, I feel its the only thing to do, as there is only so much you can give. Our families are important too.

Sweetpeasue how are you? did you ring the doctor?

EllieAnne how come you're not seeing family at Christmas?
We're going to my sons, but we are usually alone, and my husband does the music at a local Christmas lunch. I don't really mind, Christmas can be tiring.

nadateturbe Mon 04-Dec-23 17:26:01

Scaredycat those ADsa re beginning to sound very attractive! I get so down with having M.E. It's great that you can look forward to things more with taking them. Enjoy your meal. Two of us had a glass of wine in the hotel yesterday and they were £12 each. I couldn't believe it. Perhaps I'm out of touch.
Well done on starting the wrapping!
My husband takes amlodipine and has no reactions to them.

And yes, I meant to say too, Doodle the last thing I would call you is a wimp.

Ellie Anne Mon 04-Dec-23 18:34:13

Dd is too far away and both sons are seeing their wives families.
If I had a relationship with dh I wouldn’t care so much but sitting in silence eating a meal I don’t want and sitting in different rooms because we don’t watch the same things. I don’t go to church Christmas Day because I find the effort of pretending unbearable. If we are on our own I will probably go walking for part of the day.

Doodle Mon 04-Dec-23 19:11:49

nadateturbe sounds like you had a wonderful time with friends. So pleased for you. 😊 legs a bit better I think. I have stop the BP meds.
HVDY prior to going into hospital DH didn’t have a zimmer frame. He came home with one and has been using it as his balance is pretty dire. We have got a walker but he’s been happy with the zimmer till he fell over.
Perhaps your DH is getting used to new meds, they can have a strange effect some time.
Ellie Anne you sound really upset and I can understand why.
Will your sons be away to visit DIls families or will they be home Boxing Day or so. Perhaps you could see them then.
Wish I could think of a way to cheer you up but your situation, though not unique, is a difficult one. The only thing I can think of is that you make a list of all the things you want to watch and a pile of treats and just get through the day somehow.
What will your DD do?
Scardycat yes DHs fall did shake us up. We both thought he was ok standing washing but obviously not.
Crumbs 50 things to wrap. I’d be worn out. Have you ever thought of doing them in the ironing board? I’ve been doing that for a while now as it stops you having to bend down.
Pleased you are now able to enjoy a night out without worrying.
Sweetpeasue Wyllow thinking of you x

HowVeryDareYou2 Mon 04-Dec-23 19:58:43

EllieAnne Will you see your sons on any other days over Christmas? Have you got anyone you can chat with over the 'phone on Christmas Day? Otherwise, could you possibly agree with your husband on a decent film to watch?

nadateturbe Glad you had a good time with your friends. £15 for a glass of wine! Hotels charge more than pubs (average in pubs is about £8 apparently) I suppose you have to pace yourself. Is there any treatment for M.E.? I've been on ADs for many years, and would never want to feel as terrible as I did before them.

ScaredyCat I've had about 50 things to wrap, too, but I do them as they arrive (all online, I hate going round shops and haven't done so for years). I hope you've had a lovely meal tonight.

Doodle I hope your legs will feel better without the BP pills. Those Zimmer frames are very lightweight, aluminium things. I knew people who had fallen backwards with them. The Delta frames are much sturdier.

My brother picked me up (not because he was being nice - he felt lonely, I think. His wife was very unresponsive, didn't talk or even acknowledge the things he'd taken her. I told him she'll have times like that. It's sad to see, but she's being looked after. Hope ALL BDers have a cosy evening. x

Ellie Anne Mon 04-Dec-23 21:49:42

The ironing board is a good idea. I was doing it on the floor and getting up was a problem.
Dd does not do anything at Christmas. I asked her if she would come up but she ignored me. I will see them other times but it’s not the same.
We wouldn’t watch a film together ever but thank you for trying to help.

Wyllow3 Mon 04-Dec-23 23:48:57

Night night to all BD's xx

HowVeryDareYou2 Tue 05-Dec-23 15:55:53

How's everyone's day been going? I'm ashamed to say that I haven't even bothered to get dressed today. I just can't be bothered. I think I need to plan my days, find things to do/places to go, otherwise, I'll do nothing. Hope everyone's ok x

Sweetpeasue Tue 05-Dec-23 16:52:48

Awful night. Pain started at 9 so doped up with hot-water bottle on tum in nightie till 12. Went out for a coffee .Came back and went to bed depressed trying meditation and just got up half n hr ago for cup of tea. No motivation for anything HVDY but you've done well to get presents sorted.
Dr not on yesterday-on Friday. Took me about 5hrs but written letter to PM Dr and sent yesterday.
Hope everyone's day not too bad

nadateturbe Tue 05-Dec-23 18:23:53

HVDY sorry but you made me laugh. Your life always seems planned to me. Maybe your body just needs a rest.
There's no treatment for M.E. just extra vitamins might help a little.
It's sad about your SiL but at least she's being cared for.
Sorry you're so bad today Sweetpeasue. But we'll done on writing the letter. Hope you kept a copy. Maybe try a distraction like crochet if you're up to it.
Doodle It's good your legs are a bit better but you'll need new meds? I feel sorry that you're missing walks, but right now isn't the best time for walks outside, can be slippery. Hopefully you'll both feel more up to it by the time the weather improves. A friend sent me a link to a YouTube walk exercise to do indoors.

I'm in a grumpy mood today. Had a lovely time on Sunday but neck and head sore on and off since. Probably the arthritis. Trying to get ready for England on Thursday. Last minute shopping and wrapping. Husbands only concern is will he make music session on Wednesday. 🙄 I don't really care! No comments needed, just wanted to moan.
I'm sorry your daughter doesn't want to come EllieAnne but don't take it personally. We tend to do that when there could be valid reasons we don't know about. Would you not make the effort to go to church? It might help.x

Ellie Anne Tue 05-Dec-23 19:03:04

Nadateturbe I know she doesn’t do Christmas so I don’t expect her to come. She gets very tired and also has pets. I only asked because I hate her being alone and I m dreading the day.
I couldn’t go to church among all the happy families. It just makes me sadder.

Sweetpeasue Tue 05-Dec-23 19:27:03

EllieAnne I understand about going to church on a day when you feel everyone is happy and about it making you feel more lonely. Sounds as if your DD prefers to be alone and of course this makes you feel even sadder for her too.
I'm not looking forward to Christmas this year either. My son will be away this Christmas and other son too fat away for us to drive when we're not up to it. I think if you're depressed you can't suddenly be OK for one day. It is just one day though. Sorry EllieAnne. Sending a hug.x

Sweetpeasue Tue 05-Dec-23 19:27:38


Sweetpeasue Tue 05-Dec-23 19:46:59

Nadateturbe Grumpy moods allowed here. Sorry about your neck and head pain. Hope everything works out for you on Thursday. Is it your son you are travelling to see? Crossed fingers for you.

Doodle Tue 05-Dec-23 20:00:31

Ellie Anne I’ve done my wrapping on the ironing board for a few years now. My knees are so fragile, once down, getting up again is a bit problem .
I expect we will see our sons and their families sometime over the Christmas period. We may phone or face time Christmas Day.
Nice of you to ask your DD. You are kind. Don’t want to leave your DH alone and don’t want your DD to be alone even if that’s what she wants. You think of them so much. I’m sorry you won’t get to see them on Christmas Day. It’s happened to us before too. Both families off to be with DILs. . Hope you get to see them soon after.
HVDY I’ll have a look at the delta frames thank you. So sorry for your SIL. Is it her son who is ill?
I’ve had a strange day too. A couldn’t be bothered day. Been so cold and couldn’t set my mind to anything. Sleepy too. Perhaps tomorrow we’ll have more energy.
Sweetpeasue glad you’ve got your letter done. Hope it gets some positive results. Sorry the pain was so bad last night.
Have you upped the dose of Amitriptyline yet?
nadateturbe I’ve signed up DH for some physiotherapy sessions in January. I think he needs help to learn how to improve his balance. I’m hoping we can do our walks again one day. Are you travelling south? It’s warmer down here I think.
Are you visiting family?

nadateturbe Tue 05-Dec-23 20:09:19

Sweetpeasue Thanks,my daughter and grandsons, I haven't seen them for 18 months. Fingers crossed the gale force winds calm down, or I just wouldn't fly.
Sorry EllieAnne perhaps I don't understand enough. I rarely have seen any of my 3 children at Christmas for maybe 20 years. My husband has only seen his on boxing day. Writing that down, it sounds sad, But we're used to it. It jo longer matters.
Your home life sounds pretty unbearable to me. It must be depressing. x
I'm sorry you're not looking forward to it either Sweetpeasue. x
Sending you both hugs.

HowVeryDareYou2 Tue 05-Dec-23 20:11:42

SweetpeaSue Glad you got the letter done - that was quite lengthy! Have you kept a copy? Sorry your pain has been so bad.

nadateturbe My body needs some exercise, not rest grin but I just can't be bothered with anything today. Hope your aches and pains ease off a bit.

Doodle No, it's my brother's son who has got cancer (brother and SIL have both got adult children from previous marriages). I should think you do feel tired, you've had such a lot on recently. You probably need a rest.

After a very idle day, I've made arrangements with DIL to meet up for lunch tomorrow, so that'll be nice, and of course, we'll see baby at the same time.

Hope ALL BDers have a relaxing evening/night x

Sweetpeasue Tue 05-Dec-23 20:27:51

Doodle Have your swollen ankles gone down yet? It's going to take a while to build yourself up after such a bad time for you both. Hope your DH is improving. Yes I've doubled Amitripyline to 20 mg need to build up gradually. I really don't intend to get to 70 though.
HVDY Sure you'll have a lovely day tomorrow with DIL and baby. Yes I've got 2 copies of letter. Took ages on Sunday rearranging paragraphs and taking something out, putting it back in. I was so frazzled. Just 1 sheet but told her exactly how I feel too.
Nadateturbe Thanks for hug. Sending you one back. Oh your taking the plane. Don't blame you for hoping for light winds. My son has to get helicopter of the rig and he is often delayed but rather that than it be dangerous. Hoping you get away OK.

Doodle Tue 05-Dec-23 20:50:39

Sweetpeasue yes thanks. They’re starting to go down.
I’m glad you’re increasing your meds. I’m hoping it might help you. Any plans to see your son before he goes or when he comes back? We hope to see ours over the Christmas period some time.
nadateturbe have a wonderful time with your DD and grandson. You must be so looking forward to it.
HVDY ah sorry I understand. I knew it was your brothers so. I just thought your SIL might have been his mother. Have a lovely time with the baby tomorrow.

HowVeryDareYou2 Tue 05-Dec-23 21:06:24

nadateturbe Hope you have a great time with your daughter and grandsons. 18 months is a long time without seeing them. I bet you'll take lots of photos.

Sweetpeasue Tue 05-Dec-23 22:08:37

Nadateturbe Just reread your posts. You've not seen your DD and DGC for 18mths. Oh it will be so wonderful for you all to meet again
I will be praying for good weather for you. X

nadateturbe Tue 05-Dec-23 22:15:23

Doodle good idea your husband getting physio. I'm sure that will help. And I hope you feel more like doing something tomorrow. How do you pass the time when you are both at home?
Thanks Sweetpeasue. Travelling Belfast to Gatwick.
It's so tiring writing that kind of letter, isnt it, but you want to get it right. I'm sure you were exhausted.
Good to hear its warmer in the south Doodle.
We are watching the weather forecast every hour 😁. If its gales we won't go. At the minute its +40. Such cowards. So my daughter won't know until Thursday whether we are coming. I wouldn't normally fly in December but it's just been so long.
HVDY enjoy tomorrow. One lazy day is enough!🙂.

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