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Male Surgeons behaving like demigods!

(124 Posts)
Cambsnan Wed 17-Jan-24 11:27:51

I recently had a small operation which all went well be the behaviour of the surgeon shocked me. when he enter the room the mainly female staff became so subservient. they almost shrink! He walked in when a pharmacist was explaining my medication and a member of my family was present. He cut off the pharmacist mid sentence and didn’t ask if it was okay to discuss intimate issues in front of my family. I should have complained but being post op, let it go.

flappergirl Wed 17-Jan-24 20:20:56

Doctors and consultants have always behaved like demigods. There was an expose not long ago about bullying and inappropriate sexual behaviour in the NHS mostly by the aforementioned.

I've never forgotten going with my 87 year old mum to see a consultant before she had an op for cancer. She was really obviously very ill.

He asked her how much salt she ate. My mother very politely and smiling told him that she liked to sprinkle a little on roast potatoes when she ate them and also a little on a boiled egg. How else was she supposed to answer?

The consultant exploded and said he wanted to know how many grams of salt she ate and not how she applied it to her tedious culinary repertoire.

I gathered my now tearful mother up and we left the room but not before I told him how utterly disgusted I was.

Callistemon21 Wed 17-Jan-24 20:50:58

Luckygirl3

I was a hospital social worker and was on a surgical ward one day. I was by a man's bed and he was upset and talking about some distressing things.

The nurses were all scuttling about creating hospital corners and generally in a tizz as one of the consultants was arriving.

The patient and I were talking (very quietly) when he arrived - he exploded and told me to get out. To my utter delight the patient said (very loudly) something along the lines of: "Who is that arrogant bastard!"

😂😂😂 Love it!!

petra Wed 17-Jan-24 20:58:48

What’s the difference between God and a surgeon?
God doesn’t think he’s a surgeon.

Callistemon21 Wed 17-Jan-24 21:01:12

flappergirl Yes, we had the salt discussion when an Aunt could not eat her dinner after a Consultant decreed 'No salt for my patients!'
At least the Ward Sister was sympathetic and let me fetch salt from the café so Auntie could eat.
Auntie was 99 at the time.

Deedaa Wed 17-Jan-24 21:04:31

I was talking to a very junior nurse about the consultant who was caring for my husband (notice that word "caring") She told me she had to ring him at home one evening about some test results. She was terrified about disturbing him but she said he was absolutely lovely and just upset because the results were bad news for one of his patients. He also sat holding my hand for a while when we knew he probably only had hours left, and made a point of saying "goodbye" to him because he knew it was goodbye.

flappergirl Wed 17-Jan-24 21:46:18

Callistemon21

flappergirl Yes, we had the salt discussion when an Aunt could not eat her dinner after a Consultant decreed 'No salt for my patients!'
At least the Ward Sister was sympathetic and let me fetch salt from the café so Auntie could eat.
Auntie was 99 at the time.

Isn't it ridiculous. At 99 I'd take as much salt (and gin and cigarettes!) as I wanted.

Callistemon21 Wed 17-Jan-24 21:48:17

She never drank or smoked!
But enjoyed at least a pint or two of Jersey full cream milk every day. 🙂

flappergirl Wed 17-Jan-24 22:18:29

Callistemon21

She never drank or smoked!
But enjoyed at least a pint or two of Jersey full cream milk every day. 🙂

Ooh, that sounds delicious. I love Grahams Gold on my cornflakes most days. Not gin I hasten to add!

Callistemon21 Wed 17-Jan-24 23:39:41

Perhaps if she'd done as she was told and hadn't eaten salt or drunk creamy milk she might have lived to over 100, who knows.

Gwyllt Thu 18-Jan-24 08:35:49

I was taken to A &E by ambulance with chest pains I was discharged the next morning by the consultant who told me I had a touch of angina and not to try to pull that trick again to try to jump the queue and I would be sent an appointment for chest pain clinic
Not sure what queue he was talking about and who wanted to go to casualty during Covid
That was in the February
By June I had had open heart surgery for a dissected aorta

Bella23 Thu 18-Jan-24 09:46:46

I have known many surgeons at all stages of their training and as friends. I think the description of Lord Byron fitted a whole lot of them . Mad, bad and dangerous to know.
I do think on the whole they are changing probably because we are no longer in awe of them and they have learned that women can and will answer back.
Last summer I had a lovely one where I live now but he was from a different department.
They are only human and I treat them as I would anyone else now I am older, but as a pregnant 20+ year old I was terrified of them.
I also think I have suffered at the same hands as Sago in N/C. One of my friends gleefully told us after being sent home crossly three times she was not in labour that her waters had broken all over his hush puppy shoes.

Sago Thu 18-Jan-24 10:10:03

Bella23

I have known many surgeons at all stages of their training and as friends. I think the description of Lord Byron fitted a whole lot of them . Mad, bad and dangerous to know.
I do think on the whole they are changing probably because we are no longer in awe of them and they have learned that women can and will answer back.
Last summer I had a lovely one where I live now but he was from a different department.
They are only human and I treat them as I would anyone else now I am older, but as a pregnant 20+ year old I was terrified of them.
I also think I have suffered at the same hands as Sago in N/C. One of my friends gleefully told us after being sent home crossly three times she was not in labour that her waters had broken all over his hush puppy shoes.

If it’s the same one he was infamous!
Does a famous tyre company come to mind?

eazybee Thu 18-Jan-24 10:53:45

The most cutting, and immediate ,response, is to address them as 'Doctor.'
I lay in bed watching a patient opposite raising concerns with her surgeon in the pleasantest way possible, 'could you tell me why the orderly marked my left shoulder when it is my right that is to be operated on, I think we agreed, Doctor?' and he winced every time she used it; she knew the ward was listening and so did he.

Cambsnan Thu 18-Jan-24 17:16:03

Thank you

Gwyllt Thu 18-Jan-24 17:36:43

It’s not just consultants I came across a very arrogant nursing sister
After a hip op The physio was happy with me getting out of bed on the left side
I needed support to get to the toilet as I was having dizzy spells
But sister decided I was to get out on the right side as it was nearer the bathroom
I tried but was unable
I was told I would have to use the dreaded bed pan
I asked if I could have a commode on the left side and was told no but she would not give a reason
I said I would rather wet the bed if I couldn’t have a commode she just walked out
A very nice health care worker pushed a commode in saying sister was on her break Two of them then came into my room and asked if I was going to complain as I wasn’t the first
I don’t know if I should have but I didn’t
I might add it was a private ward

Esmay Thu 18-Jan-24 18:22:22

Complain and make sure that you photocopy your letter

He sounds like the old type of consultant , who enjoyed terrorising people .
He's not James Robertson Justice in a film .

cornergran Thu 18-Jan-24 18:50:21

The surgeon (a Professor) who assessed Mr C for surgery was very pleasant to Mr C while ignoring me completely. I had to pass our list of queries to Mr C or there would have been no answers. Fortunately we didn’t see him after that and the rest of the surgeons (4 of them) were helpful, understanding and courteous.

Primrose53 Thu 18-Jan-24 22:37:32

About 40 years ago I was in hospital because my pregnancy was in danger. I was in a ward with several other women all with similar problems.

We all shared a very arrogant Consultant who the nurses were all in awe of and made a huge fuss when he was doing his rounds. The ward was tidied, we all had to be sitting up in our beds and everything was just so.

Several of the women disliked him because he wouldn’t answer their question and just looked at them and walked away.

One of the women was a great character and expecting her 7th child. her husband ran the Corporation tip and was a real rough diamond. She said she wasn’t going to be treated like that and nobody was looking down on her. He drove a Porsche and always parked just outside the doors to our wing.

One afternoon we all saw him pull up and it wasn’t ward round time. “Right” she said “I’m going to have my say”. She clambered out of bed and was a vision half running down the corridor in her fluffy kitten heeled slippers and with her dressing gown flying behind her.

She reached him just as he was opening his car door. She stood in the way and said “right I need a chat with you”. He was stuck there! She made him clarify several things she was concerned about and told him in all her pregnancies she had never had such an arrogant consultant. We all watched in amazement and we did notice a definite softening in his approach to us all after she had her say. 😉

Iwtwab12bow Fri 19-Jan-24 11:18:18

I had to see a consultant about a painful hip. He didn't look up when I came in and carried on looking at his notes. Without even glancing at me he said " you are a Mrs Smith?" I responded " No,I am THE Mrs Smith!" The nurse smothered her giggles.

Sonicbear01 Fri 19-Jan-24 11:39:17

I saw a supposed consultant/surgeon for the first time in the new Royal Hospital in Liverpool last July -2023. Arrogance astonished me. Why are you here? What do you want? were his opening lines. That set the tenor of the consultation. When I asked what surgery he was going to perform on my spine, he declined to explain, saying he knew about the condition and would include it in his report. I asked for a copy of the Radiographers' report - to which the response was - What's the matter, don't you believe me? When I was asked about other conditions, I mentioned COPD. Without even looking up from his notes or listening to my chest, he muttered 'mild' and noted that down. Did I want the operation or not, was his impatient question

WonderfulLife Fri 19-Jan-24 11:46:19

I worked for the NHS for 20 years and knew what the surgeons, specialists and registrars were really like and I did feel sorry for the nurses and junior doctors because in public they loved to give of an air of importance but behind closed doors they were very different. We went to dinners with them, Christmas parties and they were the life and soul of the party. When I retired, I was given a fantastic retirement do and one of the doctors got out his guitar and sang to me as he had made up a song just for me.

I remember just after Covid I had an appointment because of ladies problems. The specialist asked me if I had had sex recently and I just said, 'I Wish', he burst out laughing. Do not be afraid of consultants they are there to help you, ask questions, write questions down before going to see them, they are not gods, they are normal people doing an important job and sometimes it goes to their heads.

I would never, ever be afraid of any kind of doctor because I have worked with them for so long and know they are people just like us with their own worries, ailments etc.

Sonicbear01 Fri 19-Jan-24 11:59:15

continued - I was being asked to agree to a seriously invasive and technically difficult op with no idea of what he was proposing. 2 months later I received a copy of his report, signed by him 7 weeks after the draft and modified to include one question only I had put to him. No promised copy of the Radiographer's report. No explanation other than 'decompression'. The other 'technically challenging' part of the op (noted by another private consultant) wasn't even mentioned. I think this consultant, despite his widespread moo-poo PR via various media, needs his qualifications and his patient relations reviewed. No, I'm not letting him loose on my spine.

rowyn Fri 19-Jan-24 12:08:35

I have a (controversial ) theory.
There are doctors who really want to help people; and gain satisfaction from doing so.
And there are doctors who realised what a lot of money they could make in the medical profession.

Amalegra Fri 19-Jan-24 12:22:16

I find this thread a bit scary! I haven’t had an op for years and am due to see my designated breast surgeon next week to discuss treatment going forward. I have been diagnosed with breast cancer. I hope she will be professional and helpful! Kind would be nice too as ,naturally, I have many concerns and fears.

Nanawind Fri 19-Jan-24 12:31:16

I was diagnosed with breast cancer during lock down. The only time I saw the female surgeon before she did my operation she was behind a mask.
Follow up appointment everyone was a little bit scared of her. She was called Pope and that's how they treated her.