Black dog 21

Doodle It's completely heartbreaking what you are going through with your DH and I don't know what to say apart from sending love and prayers.
Thankyou for coming in though just look after yourself and DH.
HVDY It must have been so sad seeing your nephew's funeral but I'm glad you managed to see it while away. Technology can be good sometimes. Nice of you to go round to see if you can help when your son has been poorly-hope baby wasn't too bad.
That was a lovely post to Wyllow and reassuring. That ball thing really was awful and it also means I'd have to buy one of the things. Physio said they're very reasonable but I've decided I'm not doing it. I have enough back exercises here and I've been doing the knee ones too. That's the thing HVDY , I'm easily cajoled into stuff. I think it's one of the reasons I keep myself to myself and end up feeling lonely. I'ts pathetic really .
Nadateturbe So glad you're feeling better today but yes-I understand that you're reluctant to say it and why. Glad you got away to the caravan, it's good to have a change. Hope you get continued improvement with your eyes though.
I've got a little further with the book today.It had got a little repetitive but it gets better and I like the philosophical bits about marriage and husbands. The author was a countess so I think writes very much from her own perspective and experiences .Hope you enjoy the film -is it the one with Joan Plowright and Miranda Richardson in it?
Wyllow Its so disheartening to lose a post- I could cry sometimes. You must have put so much energy into it -I realise how hard it is for you so thankyou for your huge effort. Your MH worker sounds nice and will want to do her best for you -I'm so pleased you can walk around the block with her. What HVDY said was encouraging. Just small steps , bit by bit. (just looked back and not sure you did walk with MH worker sorry)

Scaredycat, EllieAnne, Candy , Whiff, Allsorts, hope you're all OK.

A good day painwise again(shhh) and we took aunt out this morning then been in garden this afternoon. I couldn't dig for long , did some watering potatoes then sat on my comfy chair under parasol reading Enchanted April while DH did work and mending Trellis to put up. Bit of a Margo afternoon.

nadateturbe We had a lovely time, thanks. Baby and DIL are feeling a bit better today, but son is shivery, still has diarrhoea, and feels listless. I offered to go round or even have the children tomorrow, but they don't want that. It's probably a virus (and I certainly don't want to get it)

SweetpeaSue You aren't pathetic. I think, understandably, you've lost your confidence. An assertiveness course might help (there are probably some online). Don't let anyone tell you to do anything you don't want to do, don't be afraid to say "No". Didn't see Son2 and family - they don't want visitors whilst they're unwell (wise). Glad you had time with your aunt and then relaxed a bit in the garden.

Doodle As always, I hope there is some improvement in your husband soon.

I've been in agony today - with my hip flexors. I noticed it a week or more ago, and it eased off, but all the walking over the past few days has made it very painful. Painkillers and a rest in bed will sort it, I hope. (The joys of getting older, eh). Love to ALL BDers x

Just been out to feed Foxy (and the cats!) and found 2 hedgehogs on the patio, so they've now got cat food

Sweetpeasue you're not pathetic at all. You're wonderful, honestly! You cope so well.
And you're entitled to be assertive and say no. Don't be bullied. When we're older we're inclined to be like that. A Margo day, great!
Glad it's another good day, painwise, yes, shhh indeed!
Still enjoying book, talk more tomorrow.
HVDY your poor son, its horrible to feel like that. At least your DiL is feeling better to look after him. Very wise not to take the risk. Especially with your hip playing up. Hope it eases soon with some rest. I have my glass water bottle and pills beside the bed too. The joys of older eh?
But think of those little children in Gaza.
Doodle thinking of you and your dear husband. Praying as always and sending my love.x

Love to everyone else on BD. x

Sending love to you Doodle, (Doodle has posted news other thread.)

That level of support has long gone, HVDY. Unless I hire a carer but very doubtful about that, hit and miss and not supervised by MH people, so it’s once a fortnight. Speaking to no one days on days. I should try to come on here earlier instead of keeping it all inside.

Hospital now is only if you are a “Danger to self” not respite/caring like it was in 2006.

I’m glad you have had this good weather away. Sorry you’ve had the funeral. Oh no, you don’t want to get the virus.

Glad you are a bit better today nadateturbe. I know exactly what you mean about the out loud thing! Like it will make something happen or not happen.

Sweetpeasue I’m glad to hear of a good day pain wise. Re the group - what others have said, if it’s not for you, not to push yourself.

Night night BD’s.

Sorry I’m not really responding much. I feel overwhelmed and shaky can’t really believe what’s happening and it’s all so frightening. Love to all x

Doodle what you are going through is frightening and not knowing what is going to happen next . I wrote on your other thread. I hope you took it in the spirit it was meant.

Since the beginning of the year and think it started last year you and your husband haven't had a minutes peace from health problems and you wonder what else can happen . But it's very important to look after yourself and embrace the support from your family. You are in for a rocky road ahead. And as a very leveled headed woman you would have thought about what happens in the end. And that's scary and upsetting . Just check in like Wyllow did just to let us know you are ok. Deal with all that's happening in your life . And I know those that believe with remember you both in their prayers. But know you are not alone. Sending you a hug .

Doodle I can only echo all Whiffs good advice.
Please don't worry about posting anything. You must concentrate on yourself and your husband. We will be keeping you in our thoughts and prayers, but please don't worry about responding. xx

Wyllow3 how are you today. Have you managed to dress yet?
I'm sorry you're getting so little help.
This might sound stupid, I can't remember your history but could you talk to a counsellor?
I think you have a daughter who lives a bit far away. Do you ever speak to her?
Just ignore my questions if you're not up to talking. x

Doodle Whiff and Nadateturbe have said it all really.
I just want to say my heart breaks for you that it has come to this and I continue to pray for strength and comfort for you both. Gentle hug and love. xx

Wyllow Sorry you're not getting enough support. Once a fortnight is certainly not enough for an accompanied walk. Understand that a carer a bit pick n mix for your own condition and it's difficult for you to communicate. Please do come here whenever you feel like it-it has been a lifeline for me. Its awful holding everything in when there's no one to talk to.

Nadateturbe- so glad you got to the caravan. It must have been lovely to see the sea again. I know what you mean about saying things out loud in case you jinx it. My other one is I never dare look forward to anything in case it all goes wrong.
SweetPeaSue- that ball thing sounded like torture- I imagine it like a space hopper but not as friendly!!
No way are you pathetic in any shape or form- you make a massive effort to live your life despite all the pain you experience.
Bet your Aunt was pleased to see you yesterday.
Have you had a think about replacement plants yet?
HVDY- Ah all the place names you mention on your holiday hold lovely childhood memories. Did you have any Cromer Crab? It sounds like you really enjoyed your time away and hope your Anniversary day was lovely.
Oh poor little family- your Son sounds like he has had a really bad dose. Yes the last thing you need is a virus.
Word has got around about your outside catering- they,ll be queueing up soon. It must be lovely to see them all.
The funeral sounds very thoughtful and loving for your nephew.
Hope your hip improves with a bit of rest.
Wyllow- losing a post is sooo frustrating- I think we all do it quite a bit!!
Yes it would be nice for you if you could manage to come here and chat to us a bit more. It’s not good to be so isolated.
We are all here for you and only want to listen and help you feel less lonely. SweetPeaSue says exactly how I felt when I first came on here. Hope you have a moment in the garden today while the sun is out xx
Doodle- please don’t worry about posting just concentrate on looking after yourself. Coming after all these months of worry and ill health no wonder you feel overwhelmed. Yes it’s frightening going into the unknown and your mind is overcrowded with the responsibility and practicalities as well as the emotional toll it is taking. Would it help to keep a little notebook so you don’t have to try and keep everything in your head? We love and care for you very much - one day at a time and please rest when you can xx
Whiff- thoughtful kind advice for Doodle

Candy,EllieAnne,Allsorts,Nanny, and many more who contribute or just read take care and enjoy the sun if you can.

You're building up quite a collection of pets HVDY. I forgot to say, it was good you could watch the funeral.
Scaredycat Yes that's another one - looking forward to things, trying not to too much.
My missed heart beats went on for hours until about 1pm today It's been like that about a week. It's scary. My doctor said it was checked 2 years ago and it's fine. It doesn't feel fine.
Sweetpeasue yes, it is that film. The book is slow-moving. I think its quite humorous. Reminds me a bit of Jane Austen. I like it for how the characters are described with such insight. And how they interact (or not).
I hope this is another good day for you.

If you start typing and go back a page you usually lose what you've typed. If you press and "select all" then "copy" you can go back, return and repaste it. iykwim.

Whiff Did you enjoy your holiday? Was the weather good?

Wyllow3 Once a fortnight to go for a walk with someone isn't enough. All that happened with my neighbour was 5 years ago, so perhaps it's different in sone areas (I'm in Nottingham). With a care agency, it's likely that you wouldn't get the same person each time. Could you advertise for a private carer? I did private care work for a while, and one of the people I went to was vis an advertisement on the Indeed website (it's free to advertise).

ScaredyCat We didn't have any Cromer crab, DH doesn't like fish or seafood. I had fish & chips, he had pie. How are you?

Nadateturbe I feed anything that needs help. I don't like pigeons though, they're greedy and scoff all the bird food and squirrel nuts, unless I keep shooing them off. I realused I'm now a sad, mad old woman, but I don't care. Being aware of your missed heartbeats like that sounds alarming. I get palpitations, which I try to ignore. Different for you, though.

DH and I went to a local park, sat and watched people, fed the geese, swans and ducks, then had a walk around, sat and had an ice cream. He's now snoring . Hope everyone's seen a bit of sunshine today x

Nadateturbe- those missed beats are called ectopic heartbeats and are harmless but they certainly don’t feel it. I had those before I developed AF . They would go in a pattern like 3 beats then a missed one and other variations. If they continue go back to the Dr just to be safe.
HVDY- I once tried to feed a stag beetle with a raspberry after googling what they liked to eat. He wasn’t at all appreciative,!
It’s been a lovely day to visit the park hasn’t it. I had a walk this. Morning and it was so warm. I,m shattered now - flippin AF.
HopeChubby chops is getting over the virus.
Whiff I forgot you had been on holiday. I hope you had a lovely time.

Doodle xxxx and warm thoughts.

Did shower and dress

Caught up with you all, sending love, not talky
Night night BD's see you tomorrow.

Scaredycat. Thanks. When I saw the specialist 2 years ago they were happening just a few times through the day. But these are constant for hours and then I get a break for a few hours. Fine when I sit down or in bed. Was that the pattern of yours?

Nadateturbe- I can’t remember properly but they would happen resting too. I went to the Dr and he said they were ectopics. I think he prescribed beta blockers but I can’t be certain. It just was so weird the patterns it wasn’t the odd random missed beats. Sorry I,m not much help . I take beta blockers now for AF . Hope you are ok today.

Nadateturbe Not certain this helps but when I first got stressed finding out deception and cover up from Dr's, I started with palpitations. Had ECG and GP had readings looked at by heart nurse. Can't remember name for it now but there was an uneven rhythm but a constant pattern (something like a gap between 3rd and 4th beat). Was given propranolol which I took for a while but don't now.Ever since the nurses often comment on it when pulse is taken so know it's still there at times of stress and can feel the change , but it doesn't happen as much now.
Don't know it that reassures or not. It's quite uncomfortable when it happens but it's so much better now than it was.

Doodle You are on my mind so much and I wish I could be of help. Loving thoughts sent and ❤️

Back later -hoping everyone is OK.

ScaredyCat Fancy feeding a stag beetle . How ungrateful of him! How are you today? Son and family are back to normal, thankfully. We're going to have Chubby Chops tomorrow, for the day. Hope the weather stays decent so that we can go out somewhere.

Wyllow3 Glad you managed to have a shower and get dressed. Hope today will be good for you.

nadateturbe It must be very difficult to live wit that condition.

SweetpeaSue I've been on Bisoprolol, to slow down my heart, for almost 3 years. It seems to be fine. How are you and your husband today?

Did aqua aerobics then had brunch at the pub. Going out to buy some plants for the hanging baskets and troughs. Hope ALL BDers manager to see some sunshine today x

Thanks Sweetpeasue and Scaredycat.
Both replies are helpful. In that they are a bit reassuring. Mine could be stress related Sweetpeasue from how I've been feeling lately and worry about children. I'm sure you were glad when they eased. They are very unpleasant.
Yours sounds much more serious Scaredycat in that they continued while you were resting. Its very bad luck you went on to develop AF.
I'll give it a few days, hopefully I will hear from the consultant. (GP told me to write to her, because it's not the surgery's job to follow up on overdue reviews!). In bed today, head fuzzy and no energy, so at least I shouldn't have them today.
Thanks for taking time to stop and help. It's appreciated.
Hope you're having a good day. And everyone else of course.

Thinking of you Doodle. xx
Back later.

Wyllow3 great, you managed to dress .
HVDY I didn't realise you were on pills for heart rate. I'm glad they help. I've only been like this about 8 days. Had my last checkup 2 years ago and was fine until now.
Good luck with plant shopping, hope you're getting nice weather for it, raining here. Glad the family are better, and you can take chubby chps out.
scaredycat i googled to see what a stag beetle looks like. There were photos of people holding them.

nadateturbe The hospital put me on them after my stroke, but when I thought about it, I'd been having palpitations for a few months and though it was due to the menopause (my periods didn't stop until I was almost 60). That's not what caused the stroke, though. (long story but it was, I believe, caused by negligence by the hospital, which they did a big investigation into and obviously disputed that). I take an anti-platelet tablet, and my AD, that's all. Just finished planting up all the little plants we got earlier. I've ordered a baby's (shallow) paddling pool for Chubby Chops, to keep here