Black Dog 22

York! I didn't realise you were going there. That'll be lovely. I think a mobility scooter is a good idea. I would get one if my energy keeps falling, although I would always keep as active as possible. Whatever you do, I hope you have a good time, and that it isn't ruined by too much pain.
It's lovely having sisters to chat to. I have a brother as well who we meet up with and we all chat on WhatsApp. Its a pity you miss out on that because your brother is the way he is. But you have a lovely relationship with your children and gc.

HVDY have a wonderful time.

HVDY I do hope you have a lovely time. York is a beautiful place. You'll probably feel better, anxiety wise, when you get there.

Doodle Hope you've not had too bad a day. The restlessness must be disturbing for you- not knowing where to be. Perhaps it's the anxiety of trying to get away from what's happened and trying to not think about it. I'm glad you have been helped by your friend who has also lost her DH and has felt similar emotions. Also dearScaredycat who has written so sensitively. Hope you will be seeing someone this weekend ,perhaps one of your sons. Mine came back from honeymoon on Wednesday so hope to see him over the weekend but depends on what he's doing and other factors.
* Nadateturbe* You do so well to post to everyone when your illness takes so much out of you. Nice to see your sister the other day. I have 2 sisters and we are all well overdue for a meet up but with one thing and another it's not happened. We do text though. The hymn( not sure if that's right term for it) 'Be Still ....' took me back to the small prayer meetings I used to go to in someone's house, years ago. I'd take my keyboard and play the songs ect. My faith was my life at that time and many things happened since then. Hope you've been OK today.
HVDY Thinking about you and hoping your pain has given you long breaks so you can enjoy your weekend. Really do hope do.
Scaredycat Hope you're having a lovely time on holiday.
EllieAnne Have you got anything lined up for the weekend. Think weather isn't so good in forecast here.
Wyllow I really hope you can get another carer soon. It seems to be taking so long and I'm sure it will help if you can have a walk out more often- even a tiny step forward is something. Teeth are such a problem and Dentists so busy. Shame you can't get in sooner. Hope the sharp edge of tooth doesn't make your tongue sore.

Love to all BDs not mentioned and hope your weekend is ok.

Been a horrid day today. Woke up with so much more pain- don't know why because been more manageable lately. Not sure if getting used to co- codamol as didn't work aswell but took oramorph on top and was fine. Just couldn't sleep and wanting to talk to Surgery manager as so angry way DH treated.
Told DH I want to sort it all as I know he's not well but doesn't want me to. It's strange as DH used to be in management of contractors and was well used to talking to other managers but it just shows how his head is affecting him. I thought of stepping in without him but I know he'd be v angry.

He rang Rheumatology secretary as not heard from her. He was put straight through and she was so helpful.She said she'd try and catch him and rang straight back and said prescription at front desk. So half hr drive to hospital then half hr wait in pharmacy then back home stuck in traffic. DH looked terrible and I'm wondering if the excessive fatigue is not just GCA but other artery damage too . Just have to wait for the Doppler scan thing. His BP is still hugely different in each arm.

Sorry for long miserable post. You've all your own problems.
New day tomorrow. This too will pass.

Hi all. Spoke to Cruise this morning and may get some counselling in about 6 weeks time. Not sure if it will help but I’ll try anything
Sweetpeasue the anxiety and restlessness is all one thing. I want my beloved back and when I think that’s not going to happen I go into panic mode. Unless you’ve been through it you can’t understand. The most unbelievable loss. As I read on Facebook, i want my husband back and it’s as simple and complicated as that. Sums it up really. I am now trying breathing techniques to try and calm the panic.
Hope you get to see your son and he and his wife had a lovely honeymoon.
Did I know that you played the piano/keyboard. Not I’m reminded of it yes I think I did. Do you have one at home and still play?
Glad you got the prescription sorted but your husbands health is obviously concerning. Sorry when is the Doppler.? You are doing all you can. Remember that. Hope better news for you soon.
nadateturbe glad you have siblings to chat to. Hope today has been a better one for you.

Wyllow hope the tooth isn’t causing too much of a problem
HVDY hope all is going well and you have a great time

Scaredycat Ellie Anne Candy have a good weekend. I’m

Hi all
Doodle- I,m glad you enjoyed your lunch with your friend.and that you get on so well. You are bound to feel all sorts of emotions and experience terrible lows then sometimes a day will bring moments of joy - that gives you hope. You are having to deal with such a different life and that does not come easy. You are right to try whatever might help you - I will always be here for you. Thank you for Holiday wishes. Yes BD has helped me more than I can say - thank you.
SweetPeaSue- thank goodness DH has his prescription . He must have been exhausted but he needed to do that for himself I think. Your pain is not helped by all the tension you are feeling at the moment . I know I would have wanted to sort it out just like you though.
Hope your son had a lovely honeymoon you must be so looking forward to seeing him. Hope you get some rest tonight and feel less stressed tomorrow.
HVDY- Do hope that you are able to enjoy your time in York.
It might not be a bad idea to use a scooter although I understand your reluctance - your son meant well though!!
I must admit though that if it meant the difference between staying in or going out I,d get on one in a shot!
I hope it turns out to be a great weekend.
Nadateturbe- so pleased you met up with your sister. Yes sometimes the effort to do something seems too much but it’s lovely when you,ve done it and felt like your old self for a while. That was a lovely post to all- thank you as we know how difficult it is for you to write sometimes.
Wyllow- good to get the dental appt- just be careful of that old sharp bit..
Ah don’t give up hope- you went out and for a while felt better in the air. You are brave to keep trying and I know you will be in the hills again one day. KOKOxx
I,m really tired now it’s been a very long day- but we are so lucky to be in this beautiful place. Goodnight all those mentioned and all those not . Sleep wellx

Doodle "I haven't been where you are and am reluctant to advise. I can't even bear to think of being there. I can just keep praying for strength for you and give you hugs. Cruse are very good, I hope it helps.
Sweetpeasue continue to pray for you too.
. Your prayer meetings sound like a lovely period of your life. Glad you got the pills sorted, although it wasn't easy. I think pain is worse when you haven't slept. I hope you sleep better tonight.

Love to all BD. And prayers for all. And wishes for a peaceful night. xx
Not posting much, feel very achy tonight. Have had a glass of wine, I wonder is it OK to take a paracetamol.

Doodle I'm so sorry if I didn't put my meaning over very well. Like Nadateturbe, it's something I fear very much and having not been through it myself I feel wary of finding words to help. I know you have to walk in another's shoes to truly understand their experiences. You hurt so very much and I wish I could help. I'm glad you have contacted cruise and I really hope you get someone who can truly understand and be there with you. Sending you love and a hug . Xx

Nadateturbe Thankyou for your prayers you're very kind when you have so much to cope with yourself. I'm sure it will be quite OK to take paracetamol with a glass of wine. Hope you sleep well tonight and your aches and pain ease off. X

Thanks Sweetpeasue. I'm not great with pills, hut nwed something. xx

Sweetpeasue nadateturbe I hope you didn’t think I was pushing your kindnesss back at you. I was just explaining that all the anxiety and panic and fear is bound up in the one thought of being without my beloved. You are all so kind to me here and I know everyone is trying to help. There are no words but I take comfort in your support all of you.

Doodle I understood perfectly as I'm sure does Sweetpeasue and everyone else. My heart aches for you. xx

- [ ] It was good to read of your visit and chat with your sister, nadateturbe
- [ ] (Please never feel bad about not posting)

York is a wonderful place HVDY but wondering how you coped today - hope you are OK!

I’m sorry it’s been a horrible day, Sweetpeasue.

Glad you’ve got the meds but sorry it’s so worrying. Knowing if it’s right to let DH go ahead and make the moves - I really don’t known whats best in that way to say.

I’m glad you rung Cruise, Doodle. You describe it so poignantly I guess all we can do is say we try to walk with you even if you cant feel it xx

Scardeycat glad you are in a beautiful place

Same old same old for me.

Sis did WhatsApp a long txt with news after a long gap.

I was glad: she’s had to be there for her DH’s family quite a bit:

the limitations are that she asks me how are things but means “what have you been doing

Doesn’t respond to “how feeling” - she has a very successful busy life - she cares but doesn’t want to hear bad MH stuff. But I will try and keep little bits and bobs of whatsapps up.

Doodle I understand too. I didn't word my post very clearly. Just want to be able to say something of comfort yet I know there's nothing I actually can say.
Just wrote a big post but deleted it. I wish I could help. I care so much.
Actually, I'm angry for you tbh but know that won't help you. I don't feel God has been fair. So sorry, I shouldn't be saying it.xx

Wyllow3 thanks. It's so good you're able to post now. Great that you heard from your sister. I think it's a good idea to try to keep in contact. Sadly people don't always understand MH problems.

Sweetpeasue I have faith but God knows there are some things I don't understand.
Goodnight x

Not got anything planned for weekend except church.
Watching qvc shopping channel and having wine.
Wish I was younger and slimmer!
I’m sorry so many are weighed down with sadness and worry.
I just need to give myself a shake and get on with it.

Late wave to you EllieAnne.

Wyllow Glad your sis sent a long text and you caught up with her news.
It's difficult when there are those don't understand but keeping up with bits n bobs is keeping contact open which is good . Hope you have a better day today.
And thankyou for your concern about DH and the difficulties. He's been there for me through this last few yrs when I crumbled and I want to be the same for him but he likes to be in control.(not meant in a bad way iykwim)
Nadateturbe Thankyou for what you said about God knowing what we don't understand. That helps actually.
HVDY Really hope you're OK.
EllieAnne Hope church tomorrow is helpful and you see some friends.
Younger and slimmer- yes please. Our bodies won't do as we want as we get older will they.
Doodle It's OK. There are no words really. A hug would be better - a real one.
I've been feeding my blackbird again. Actually there's 2 of them. Came in with some shopping and turned my back to unload it and when I turned around it was sat on my washer!

Hope all have a good weekend .

Willow glad you got to hear from your sister. Most people don’t want to know about MH stuff. Not because they don’t care but because it’s hard to cope with someone who’s suffering.
Thanks for your kind thoughts.
Sweetpeasue and nadateturbe thank you. I know you are both caring in your support. I realise it is hard to know what to say. I’ve been in the same position before too.
Hope you’re both having a restful weekend.

iPad playing up again tonight.
HVDY hope your holiday going well and you’re feeling ok.
Ellie Anne I might go to church tomorrow. Not sure yet. I’ve got nothing planned either. If we lived nearer we could have a coffee together.
Scaredycat Candy have a good weekend.

Good evening everyone. Sods Law, I feel OK today and DH is in bed. He gets really tired days. I think it goes back to when he had covid. So no caravan. I'm keeping my fingers crossed I feel OK tomorrow. I could possibly make it to church. I think I've only made it once this year. I'm sure they've forgotten me. I'll feel odd, but I wouldn't let that stop me.
I wonder will we all make it. (To Doodle and EllieAnne).
HVDY I hope you're having a nice time and not in a lot of pain, and getting around ok? .
You too Scaredycat. And I hope it's restful for you.
Candy I hope you've managed to relax a bit, or are you still very busy?
Wyllow3 how are you today? Have you managed to get dressed?
A little blackbird in your kitchen Sweetpeasue. How lovely. We have one that comes close to the back door. And a friend had a Robin in.
I hope you and your DH are coping today.
I agree Doodle Wouldn't it be lovely if we could all have a coffee together. xx
Whiff Allsorts Zakouma66 I hope you are all having a good day.
Hello to anyone on BD that I have missed.xx

EllieAnne meant to say I watch QVC too. . I like Ruth Langsford.