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When to resume sex after hip replacement

(218 Posts)
ftm420 Wed 30-Oct-24 11:16:12

Sorry if this is too explicit but if you dont ask...

I'm now 3 weeks post total hip replacement and am starting to think about sex! Trouble is, my DH is (ahem) very overweight and I'm quite skinny, so the thought of missionary scares the life out of me! I also can't widen my hips much (physio has given me a 'clam shell' exercise as part of standard physio and my knees just will not part).

I can't kneel down and get back up and I can't comfortably lie on my side to just 'do him'.

Should we just wait a bit longer, given that he is feeling a bit frustrated. He has 2 hands after all! Or is there a position we could try?

TIAblush

downtoearth Wed 30-Oct-24 21:46:33

I have a struggle put to my tights on, if you can manage you go girl respect.
After three weeks I was still struggling to put my knickers on

kittylester Wed 30-Oct-24 21:47:42

MissAdventure

Has Keir Starmer had a hip replacment, then?

gringrin

Shinamae Wed 30-Oct-24 21:53:32

I can’t contribute because I’ve been celebrate over 30 years.
(never really liked it, all that huffing and puffing and strange noises emanating from various orifices)
I reckon I’m frigid but have had 4 children 🤷‍♀️

Luckygirl3 Wed 30-Oct-24 21:55:03

If you look online there is information about this - and also a book you can buy on the subject with suitable diagrams/cartoons. How do I know this? - my DD bought it for me after my hip replacement!!!

ftm420 Wed 30-Oct-24 22:15:23

I think I will ditch out gracefully now. As for it being a public forum, the whole point is that it's not 'public' as everyone's anonymous?

Oh well, you live and learn.

Additionally, I never suggested anywhere that we we actually going to do it yet, just that we're planning ahead (so to speak).

Redcar Wed 30-Oct-24 22:18:26

Love this thread!

crazyH Wed 30-Oct-24 22:37:06

Oh Shinamae - love your description and honesty. Same here - celibate I mean. And I have 3 children….I reckon I did it 3 times 😂

BlueBelle Wed 30-Oct-24 22:43:46

Haha me too crazyH

Summerfly Wed 30-Oct-24 22:44:12

Marydoll

Thank goodness I had the smelling salts handy
😂😂😂

BlessedArt Wed 30-Oct-24 22:49:25

Speak with the doctor who performed the operation. Revision surgery is painful, the recovery long, and can be downright depressing. Don’t do anything without medical advice.

Marydoll Wed 30-Oct-24 22:51:16

ftm420

I think I will ditch out gracefully now. As for it being a public forum, the whole point is that it's not 'public' as everyone's anonymous?

Oh well, you live and learn.

Additionally, I never suggested anywhere that we we actually going to do it yet, just that we're planning ahead (so to speak).

But it is public. I remember at least two occasions, when posters have been recognised and been forced to change their user name.

Some of us have met in real life and therefore are not anonymous. Thank goodness you are not part the Glasgow Grans gang, I wouldn't be able to look you in the eye or elsewhere.
😉

Naughtyneine Wed 30-Oct-24 22:52:49

Eek...I hope it was a genuine question as it took me 2 hours to pluck up the courage to post my response 😳

whywhywhy Thu 31-Oct-24 11:35:36

Shinamae I’m with you! I have three kids. The blooming horrible noises used to make me laugh. Haha!!!

Peaches7 Thu 31-Oct-24 11:37:06

I think you need to ask your consultant this,not us

kircubbin2000 Thu 31-Oct-24 11:47:52

The last thing I would be worrying about. A lovely excuse.

Tuskanini Thu 31-Oct-24 11:48:16

Woof?

icanhandthemback Thu 31-Oct-24 11:48:20

Maybe invest in some sex toys along with massage oils and have a joint session without full blown sex. This might be the time for your husband to refine his foreplay and technique rather than expecting to go the whole hog.

It's slightly amusing in this day and age that anybody should consider this post as explicit.

GrammarGrandma Thu 31-Oct-24 11:49:33

What a lot of prudes there are on Gransnet! Did all the Disgusted, Tonbridge Wells, responders all have Immaculate Conceptions and Virgin Births? I remember having this issue after a hysterectomy and deciding "Side by Side by Sondheim" was the best initial strategy.

MissAdventure Thu 31-Oct-24 11:51:34

Of course it is.
It just makes people who feel uncomfortable about it feel better to insinuate otherwise.

Galaxy Thu 31-Oct-24 11:52:08

I worked on a sexual health line for 10 years, the idea that caution on the internet = prudish is a bit tedious.

CariadAgain Thu 31-Oct-24 11:52:32

Farmor15

I'm pretty sure it's a genuine post- OP started another thread about having to get up to pee in the night often, and mentioned the hip replacement.

Why wouldn't someone ask this after all?

To me I'd just think "He's very overweight and I'm not = I don't fancy him anyway....so I'll just say No". But am guessing OP isn't as put off the thought by overweight as many of us would be - and it's a genuine question. After all - illness or no illness and many of us still expect to "have a life" - and that includes sex (if we do still fancy them).

Some people are obviously not having any sort of advice whatsoever on "living one's life" after a hip replacement - as I remember being shocked when my elderly mother had one that no-one seemed to be giving her advice or physiotherapy and cue for me just telling her to go to a suitable physiotherapist and the cost was covered by a suitable scheme I'm in myself (and carefully didn't mention that I'd be using up "my ration" from that scheme and there'd be none left for me and I'd have to pay for anything else I wanted for myself).

So yep....not at all surprised if people aren't told how to "continue with leading their lives" and wondering who they are supposed to ask about ensuring they still can.....

MissAdventure Thu 31-Oct-24 11:54:08

Should someone be worried that people might find out they're having sex with their husband
It's already established that op isn't new and has posted before.

GrauntyHelen Thu 31-Oct-24 11:56:52

I'm sorry that there are so many prudes who felt the need to comment ! For safetys sake and in the interests of good long term healing this is definitely a question for your surgeon In the meantime you both have two hands and a mouth each and could have very satisfying sex using them it's not all about penetration and orgasm is good for your general wellbeing

CariadAgain Thu 31-Oct-24 12:05:59

LucyAnna2

chocolatepeanuts

I think it's a fair question. I don't have an answer as I've never had a hip replacement, but if you aren't ready, then don't seems sensible. Maybe you could ask your doctor for advice?

Note to self: Never ask any sex questions.

No, most on GN think it’s wrong to talk about sex.

Certainly the impression I'm getting and most surprised by that.

If I could find a man I fancied I wouldn't expect to give up on having a sex life per se - but, in my early 70's and not recognising myself any longer (ie just who is that 2 stones overweight/white-haired woman I keep catching a glimpse of? Agh!) = that seems to have been that back in my 50's.

Darn it!!

But I'm certainly someone who thinks "How are things to get any better if we don't actually know what's what?" Thank goodness, for instance, that younger women are often telling it like it is as to what pregnancy, childbirth and the aftermath of having given birth can be like for a lot of women. As I do know that back in my era (born 1950s and so any children I had would have been born in the 1980s/my 30s) there was very little information around and all I knew was "Childbirth is painful - and then one's body presumably goes back to exactly the way it was before no problem". I'd have hated to have had children on the basis of so little information! ....and boy would any mums I knew be in for an earful for NOT telling me how it could be....cue for nicer new set of friends.

pascal30 Thu 31-Oct-24 12:10:27

I think that if you still wish to have sex with each other and you've always had a healthy sex life, that you would know ways to satisfy each other.. but if you are worried about damaging your hip then I would speak to a nurse or GP at your surgery..