There are several elements of this post that I don't understand. The first is how the recent budget has affected your tax. As far as I am aware there have been no changes to Income Tax that would affect you or your DH. True there are changes to Capital Gains Tax, but none to Inheritance Tax.
The second is why, after your lifetime of frugality, your efforts have all been wasted. What causes you to say that? My DH and I have lived frugally and now in our mid/late seventies are reaping the benefits of that - and at long last he is happy to spend more of our savings than ever before on a few luxuries, including two World Cruises of 3 months each and planning a third one!
Third, why do you want to live in a Care Home? They are hellishly expensive if you have to pay due to your income or assets (£1,000 a week is not uncommon) and are mostly filled with residents who NEED care in order to be safe - e.g. with dementia.
However, I do understand how living in a home that is in need of vital repairs/renewals is depressing (it sounds similar to ours, in that situation due to DH never taking an interest in the house). We have just had our builder start on a new roof for us and has told us he is surprised that we have not noticed lots of leaks in recent years as many areas are totally "shot" - and he is a chap we have known for many years and believe him. DH only agreed when a large hole developed a few months ago and cost a small fortune for an urgent repair - but our years of frugality mean we can afford it now.
And I do understand what it's like to have to make all the decisions in life and make all the arrangements. DH says he appreciates that but it is still damned hard work for me!
I also fear him becoming unable to care for himself as he is rapidly getting that way and in my opinion it is his own fault that his demise is as rapid as it has been in recent years due to his neglect of his body for nearly all of his 78 years - though his illness is not entirely his own fault. I am also miffed that during my year of gruelling cancer treatment he gave me almost zero support other than driving me to appointments. No extra effort with housework, cooking, budgeting or whatever, not that he ever has. He attitude has always been that he has done his best. I have spent our 54 years of marriage doing far more than he has in not only child-rearing but household maintenance, gardening, car cleaning, decorating and the rest. Basically I begrudge the likelihood that I will be forced to care for a man who has done little to deserve my effort, but as I made the promise when I married him I will feel obliged to keep it.
Many times people have told me they would not put up with his attitude, but I have failed miserably in being able to effect any improvement in the situation. I suspect you might be in the same position.
Good luck is all I can say to you.
