Black Dog 24

Hi all
Doodle- Ah you wanted that heart to be perfect- what a lovely idea.
I know what you mean about what to say after a funeral. I think the saying ‘It went well’ is as good as it gets.
Yes we did fill our 2 days away up. Best of all was seeing DHs lovely Daughter and his youngest Sons wife who has dealt with her Cancer so bravely. They are great friends and had a ‘ girly ‘ night away to see us all.
Hope you,ve had a nice day today.
EllieAnne- yes you’re right your young neighbours probably have a lot on their plate and just forgot. I,m sure they wouldn’t mind a gentle reminder.
Wyllow- you must have enjoyed having a bit longer walk - hope it meant you sleeping better after the fresh air. It’s so good that you can talk freely with your nice carer- it helps her understand you better.
Hope today has been kind to you .

Just had a nice long FT with my DS- it’s really cold where he lives at the moment and a bit of snow. So good to see him looking happy but Oh how I miss him.
I,m going to post a picture from the Cat Cafe to bring a smile for you allxxx
Love to everyone - those who read and those who are in and out.

They were so sweet

Ellie Anne I don’t think we can be that close because I am miles away from any coastal walks which you seem to enjoy.
If they’re nice neighbours couldn’t you pop a note through their door with your phone number on and ask them if they could text you the number.
Wyllow glad you had a nice walk in the botanical gardens.
Scaredycat you must miss your son so much. Glad you had a chance to face time him.
Sorry not up to posting much tonight. I am really sad. Tomorrow will be my first valentines without my darling man in 57 years. He always made a fuss of me and we always had a nice meal together. I miss him so much.
Sleep well all

Scaredycat thanks for the photos. I love the knitted jumpers.

ScaredyCat Thank you. I bought an air purifier (it came today, so it's in the bedroom I'm sleeping in at the moment).
It's always a relief when a funeral is over, isn't it. How has your day been today?

Doodle Thank you. Scone at the garden centre sounds nice. Did you buy any plants or anything?

Wyllow3 The botanical gardens must be lovely. Glad you felt able to talk to your carer.

ScaredyCat The cats in their jumpers . A friend of mine has got a Sphynx. She says it's a Spinx

It was very nice at the day centre - beef stew, mash and veg, then chocolate sponge and cream (I gave mine to someone else). I looked on my NHS app to see what the Nurse Practitioner yesterday had said - and it's left me concerned as she said "suspected COPD". I haven't smoked for 37 years. Mind you, she's one of those know-all, patronising types (she's very unpopular) so she's probably wrong anyway x

Wyllow Lovely for you to have a long walk with your carer ,and in such a nice place. So glad you have her and we're able to discuss how you feel about the Quakers and not being able to go. Hope today has been OK for you.
Scaredycat Aw I can see how very much you love and miss your son. He obviously live you so much too. I'd not heard from son 1 for a while so I texted him and he called this afternoon and we had a catch up . I always feel better if I know everything is OK. Funny photo, thanks.
Doodle Oh I'm so sorry for your heartbreak. 57 yrs is such a very long time to have your DH with you. Keep deleting my words as there's nothing I can say in the face of such grief and yearning. Sending you hugs and ❤️ love.
X
HVDY Glad to hear your eye is much better now. Just the weather for a nice Beef Stew and well done for giving away that chocolate pud. My DH has the NHS app on his phone and things can get a bit muddled but not surprised you're a bit concerned about the COPD suspected - think I'd def query that. Oh dear- every Surgery has one!
EllieAnne Good idea from Doodle there. Your neighbour has probably been meaning to get back to you but forgotten. Only natural you want it sorted out though - nothing wrong with a reminder.

Take care everyone and hope you all sleep well- those in and those who read.

Thankyou to you all for your kind thoughtful words.

Wyllow3…..sending you love, strength and prayers❤️

Lucyd….Thankyou for your kind words, I’m avoiding the shops etc at the moment.
I’ve been really brave today (aren’t I pathetic) but have arranged an electrician to come and check out my underfloor heating. He’s been recommended by a friend.

HVDY…. Electrician out next week, so fingers crossed. I don’t have any radiators in the kitchen.
You sound as if you’ve had a productive day.

Scardeycat…I’m going into Canterbury on Saturday so will look up the cat cafe.
I did smile when you said “what on earth am I doing here”…I’ve been there, but you never know til you give it a try…

Doodle….what a beautiful gift for your DH…..❤️. I’ve found my card from last year’s Valentines Day so have stood it up in our bedroom…Oh I do miss him….
After my village walk this morning I popped into our Church, whilst sitting there amongst tears and smiles an ‘old’ aeroplane flew over. DH loved his aircraft and I felt he was sending me a message.

I wish you all well and send love and my prayers to you all.
Fondest Love. ❤️🙏🌹

Doodle 57 years is a very long time to be with someone. . x

SweetpeaSue The same woman said I'd never been diagnosed with Asthma - I was, 30 years ago, at the previous surgery. I've had inhalers several times. She's putting me on a list for lung function tests (at the GP surgery), said there are 18 people in front of me, and that I'll probably get seen at the end of April. She's also the one who said I had a chest infection in Dec and prescribed antibiotics which didn't make any difference (a GP later said it was Asthma and gave me steroids, which helped). Hope you have a good sleep tonight.

NannyG4 Hope you get it fixed soon. Hugs for you, too

Sorry doodle I meant close to Lucy. I probably wrote it wrong.
I’m so sorry that you are so upset.
I hope you can do something nice tomorrow.
Words are inadequate.💐💐💐

I was glad to read about your days away Scaredycat and had a girly night. I was sad to hear of the cancer she had to deal with.
How nice to have such a long FT. Aw xx for missing him. That cat cafe picture was lovely, with their little “coats”.

Today must have been so hard, Doodle. Just big gentle hugs.

You are being great about your food, HVDY giving up on the pud. Can you clear up with the nurse about the “suspect? Not too nice to read and confusing, rather long to wait.

Sweetpeasue nice to see you in - I hope today has been manageable pain wise, as you don’t say.

Hugs back, NannyG4, for your difficult day. A good idea to pop into the church.

Warmest waves, EllieAnne

Nothing in the diary today so it was a dressing gown day again. Tomorrow have to get up very early for the cleaner, so better get off to bed earlier than usual.

Wishing all BD’s who’ve posted, or just read a good night xx

Wyllow3 I'm leaving it. I think (hope) she's wrong. I haven't got any faith in her and don't like her, anyway (not many do). Hope your day doesn't start too early. I've been up since 6.30 - Jaffa's had a burst of energy and has been charging around .

Doodle Hope you've been OK today. EllieAnne is right - words are inadequate but just sending you love and a hug today.
HVDY Sorry that nurse left you with that niggling worry about COPD. She didn't pick up your Asthma and she's most likely wrong about COPD. GP has DH down for a Spirometry test ( mths waiting list) but we know that's not cause of his breathlessness as inhalers aren't any good. Naughty Jaffa waking you ip early-- so good to see him so well now though- down to you looking after him so well.
Wyllow Sorry about the dressing gown day yesterday. Hope you managed to be up for your cleaner and she doesn't arrive too early.
NannyG4 Thankyou for your love and prayers. Hope today hasn't been too bad for you. That plane flying over was such a lovely thing to happen whilst in church. Sure that was meant to be for you. x

Fluffball day today.Took her uo the beach and she went berserk racing around- so funny.
DHs date for MRI not till March. He had his ECG done and results were normal though nurse doing it said all DHs symptoms and painful arm sent warning bells for her and she can't understand the Vascular dept not going anything. DH has had headache back today. Just hoping he doesn't have to raise the steroids back up again.

Hope everyone has had a reasonable day. Take care and love to all.

I had a better day today after a few really rubbish ones. Sorry for mistakes in last post. I'd already lost a post and am quite tired.

SweetpeaSue She's the berk who said I had a chest infection when it was Asthma. Your husband has got to wait ages too, then. March isn't quite as bad (it's March in a couple of weeks) but bad enough. What a great time Fluffball had today. Hope your husband's headache goes soon. I'm glad you have felt better today.

How's everyone else been?

Son2 and DIL have gone to York, for a Murder Mystery evening and dinner at a hotel, then a day of sightseeing tomorrow, so I've been to feed the 2 cats (the male is enormous, about 17lbs) and fed my neighbour's cat as she's away for the weekend. It's a good job I love cats . x

HVDY no o didn’t buy anything at the garden centre.. I don’t have a garden and as far as plants go they see me and wither. My dad was a keen gardener unfortunately it didn’t pass on to me.
Your meal at the day centre sounds lovely. Isn’t there a test they can do for COPD . Spirometry or something? Might be worth talking to the GP.
You were up early. I expect Jaffa likes some company.
Sweetpeasue you don’t need to think of the right words, I know you care. It’s fine. Yes it’s not been a good day today but I’m ok. Just lonely.
Glad you were able to talk to your son. Always nice to know they’re ok.
NannyG4 what a lovely sign with the old aircraft. It’s a sad day without out our husbands isn’t it.
Hope you get your heating fixed soon.
Ellie Anne thank you for your kind thoughts. I went to the hospice today. I feel close to Dh there even though it’s where he died. Got chatting to some nice people.
I hope you get somewhere with the wall soon.
Wyllow is your cleaner a nice lady? Do you chat? I’m up early tomorrow too. Going to church for breakfast and talk. I’m really tired tonight so will got to bed soon.
Sweetpeasue Fluffball had fun in the beach. Lovely space for a dog to run round. Glad you had a better day.
Good your DH’s ECG was fine. That’s something. Hope he gets his MRI soon.
Scaredycat hope you are getting on ok. I’m so tired I keep falling asleep .
Take care all x

Doodle I'm on the waiting list for spirometry testing. The nurse said I'll probably get seen by April. My dad was a keen gardener, and I didn't take after him. We've got a big garden, about 70ft long. It's mainly grass and patio, with a border down the side. The hospice sounds like a very peaceful place. I'm glad you get comfort from being there, and it's nice that you find people to chat with.

Doodle Glad you had a quiet time at the hospice and a chat to people there. Been thinking about you today . Hope you sleep well and the talk is interesting tomorrow.
HVDY The MRI was requested by our GP ( for his neck). His thinking was if it's OK any consultant can't blame that for his arm pain. We know it's nit coming from his neck though as the nerve conduction test almost proved that , according to hand specialist. The pain starts in his fingers going up. Ah well. GP put him on waiting list for Spirometry test last November .
You are good to look after everyone's cats. Everyone must know how good you are with them. Hope Jaffa doesn't get jealous!
Night all.

8am is early for me, HVDY, but I go to bed late.
I’m glad you’ve leaving it re the nurse. You can always intervene if needed.

It sounded like fun with Fluffball Sweetpeasue. I’m so relieved that you had a better day, thank goodness after the rubbish ones. Thinking of your DH with great sympathy for you both.

Hugs for your lonely day, Doodle. Glad you’re going to church. Why a great church social activity wise, so well organised.

I did have a little bit of contact with a Quaker re my friend who died, she texted me, kind, but not wanting to “get involved’. I’ve gone all avoiding feelings again, not good really. …Just existing.

Night night BD's, may they be the best nights possible.

SweetpeaSue What a wait things are. It's not right, is it? Too many people using the NHS (I saw Nigel Farage say 10 million extra people have arrived in boats in the last 10 years). There are waiting lists for everything, it seems.

What a start to the morning - fell over in the bedroom when my foot got tangled in a blanket. Stood in a wet puddle at the bottom of the stairs - water dripping through the ceiling (DH fixed the leak under the bath), In my hopping about, I trod in the litter tray (solids, yuk). Managed to go and feed all the cats afterwards, so that's the main thing. Hope ALL BDers have a decent day x

Wyllow Sorry, Wyllow, did you mean a Quaker texted you about the friend who died as she probably knew she was a friend of yours? Do you think they didn't want to 'get involved' ? I think some people are still afraid of MH illnesses and don't understand . It's understandable that you don't want to let yourself 'feel' too much after you've been so hurt. I do hate to think of you as 'just existing'. I wish you could have more help and see another carer more often. Hugs for you today too. I wish it wasn't a virtual one.x
HVDY Oh what a start to your day- I hope you're not hurt too badly. I had a mental picture of you hopping about there. Hope there's no bruises.
Doodle Hope you have a nice breakfast at church. Your church sounds so lively with lots going on. It seems so different to the one in our village, though I admit I've not attended ours for years now.

Woke with lots of aches but managed to take aunt out .DH doesn't look good today ,still dull headache. Trying not to worry.
Dull and grey here but at least no snow which was forecast.
Hope everyone has a decent day with some bright moments.x

HVDY- glad you liked the cats in their jumpers. They were adorable.
That NP sounds a charmer - it’s like she has no empathy or patient skills at all. Think you’re right to hold fire at the moment.
Good start for you today- what a workout and finishing in the 💩. You still fed the cats though - what a trooper!!
SweetPeaSue- glad all is well with your DS. Yes knowing our children are happy makes us happy too.
Would love to see Fluffball by the Sea- dogs have such a capacity for joy haven’t they.
Glad DH s ECG was normal and the nurse felt you were right to be concerned. Hope DH headache clears today and you continue to have some better days.
Doodle- Somehow you got through the pain of yesterday. I feel so sad for your loneliness. Being able to spend time at the Hospice is proving so comforting to you - you must feel at peace there.
I,m OK thanks . My knee is much better walking now but stairs are still dodgy. Went to dentist yesterday and this morning we had a walk and coffee . It is so cold though - .
Hope your breakfast this morning was enjoyable and the talk interesting. It,ll do you good to have a rest this afternoon perhaps and maybe 40 winks.
Wyllow- So sad to hear you say you want to avoid feelings- it’s part of being alive. Yes some feelings are unbearable and you have so many conflicting ones . Loneliness,sadness,betrayal,and the reluctance to letting
anyone in for fear of being hurt. You did so well to contact the Quaker lady - a big step for you. Perhaps you could reach out to your nice carer and learn to trust again.
Wyllow - we are all here to listen , encourage and help you to stop just existing and begin to live again. Take our hands.
Candy- hope you’re having a great time and feeling the warmth of the Sun.
EllieAnne- thinking of you at the weekend .

Love to all BDs - regulars new and old and readers too. Have the best day you can

Wyllow3 I wish you had company, instead of spending so much time alone. Could you get another regular visit from the carer you get on with?

SweetpeaSue I didn't hurt myself, thanks - I'm very well-padded . You did well to get out with your aunt. I hope your husband will feel better as the day goes on. Might he have been inhaling paint fumes? It's grey and drizzly here.

ScaredyCat I still haven't worked out how to post some Steampunk photos. I'll keep trying to work that out.

Thanks Scaredycat. I'll have to find a photo of Fluffball on the beach. She's certainly joyful. Glad your knee is on the mend- you must have gone a cropper.
Love words to Wyllow. We all want her better.
HVDY DHs headache is the same as the Giant Cell Arteritis one. He's had to up the dosage of steroids as told to do by Rheumatologist because shoulder pain (Polymyalgia) came back but the last week the headache has returned. He's been getting jaw pain too (GCA).
Can't wait to see Steampunk photos!

Hope everyone is OK- LucyDNadateturbe NannyG4*Nanny2507 Elveral and all others not named individually.

HVDY what a start you had to the day. Hope it’s all cleared up now. How is the dripping ceiling? Hope there’s not much damage.
Sweetpeasue having a better day today thank you. Yes the talk was interesting. It was about the local school and what they are doing to improve things. Went and did a big Waitrose shop and got so cold. Despite the sun it’s been quite bitter here today. Glad you managed to take aunt out. Hope your days not been too bad.
Wyllow who didn’t want to get involved was it you or your Quaker friend? Yes the church has some great activities and services. I am lucky to have found it.
Scaredycat yes a rest this afternoon would have done me good but I went and did my Waitrose shop instead 🤣. I normally go after church on Sunday but had to go today as tomorrow I’m having lunch at church and May get involved with the washing up. There are 50 of us going so the washing up may take some time.
I have trouble with stairs too. My knees are a problem. Glad you got a walk though.