I think my adult daughter has BorderlinePersonalit y Disorder and

My daughter was diagnosed last year with BPD. She has had mental health issues for 10 years, 2 suicide attempts and lots and lots of “risky” behaviours and very up and down.

She was initially referred to The Priory, but just didn’t like her therapist.

Since changing Therapists and starting anti-psychotic medication she is making progress, it’s hard work for her and progress is slow but steady,

She’ll be 25 in June, holds down a full time job, but does still live at home with us.

We paid for a private psychiatrist for a diagnosis as the wait times on the NHS were just too long, ditto therapy. It’s expensive, but well worth it to see her making progress and more stable.

I wish you luck with your daughter.

I did attend her first psych appointment, but only went in with them for the second half of the appointment,

I think you are lucky to have any psychiatic help at all.

My son has a personaility disorder and has never had any help. I have to manage his crazy behaviour all on my own.

In some ways, from what I hear, he maybe better off without a diagnosis anyway as it would make zero difference to his life or mine.

I wish you luck though- sorry I can't give you any advice.

keepingquiet

I think you are lucky to have any psychiatic help at all.

My son has a personaility disorder and has never had any help. I have to manage his crazy behaviour all on my own.

In some ways, from what I hear, he maybe better off without a diagnosis anyway as it would make zero difference to his life or mine.

I wish you luck though- sorry I can't give you any advice.

Would a diagnosis help with benefits keepingquiet?

Not sure if your son works but it might also help with that if they have noticed he’s a bit “different”.

He has had more jobs than hot dinners. He has never claimed benefits and neither have I- maybe we're lucky.

He presently works for himself doing gardening work and makes up his wage delivering for Amazon.

Today I had to sub him money because he needs food and petrol- he hasn't had much gardening work during the winter due to the weather but has not been accepted for universal credit- I think due to his living with me.

He smashed up the car I paid for and now needs a van that I will have to pay for again otherwise he won't earn anything. Just now he is using my car so I am restricted where I can go.

Welcome to my world; constant chaos and just above the poverty line...

I have a friend whose symptoms are helped by medication, some therapy, it helps some, may I wish you all the best for tomorrow.

keepingquiet

I think you are lucky to have any psychiatic help at all.

My son has a personaility disorder and has never had any help. I have to manage his crazy behaviour all on my own.

In some ways, from what I hear, he maybe better off without a diagnosis anyway as it would make zero difference to his life or mine.

I wish you luck though- sorry I can't give you any advice.

I really do feel for you. A diagnosis can be helpful in terms of getting help and moving forward.

Also, having a diagnosis might be a doorway to non means tested benefits such as PIP. I do wish you the best moving forward.

Has your daughter said that she would like you to be present during the consultation with her psychiatrist?

First of all beware the acronym 'BPD' . It is used for both Borderline Personality Disorder and Bi-Polar Disorder. Secondly, most, if not all NHS Trusts will not offer treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder. I know because, despite my family having, now a 4, possibly 5 generation history of Bi-Polar my son was discharged during his first major mental health crisis within 48 hours with a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder and NO follow up by 2 Trusts before a third recognized his symptoms and he was successfully treated for Bi- Polar. Having said that it would probably be useful to help your daughter write a list of her symptoms and behaviours to share with her psychiatrist. I wrote a summary of my family history for the Mental Health Officer tasked with writing the background report which led to the correct diagnosis and treatment for my son.

Yes, there can be a lot of confusion about many psychiatric disorders and mental illness. They are not the same thing at all.

You are right in that some Trusts/GPs and mental health professionals do not think BPD can be treated. I have been told that there is nothing to be done many times and by many agencies.

My son does not have a mental illness, but he does have a disorder which has seriously impacted his life, and now mine.

I have tried for twenty years so I know what I'm talking about.

The last time my son sought help the GP rang me when I was a passenger in a car and could not respond on the speck to some of his questions. I was put on the spot and felt dismissed yet again as an hysterical and possbily over-indulgent mother.

I won't be going to seek any more help. My son and I are managing best we can but it has taken a heavy toll on my retirement.

There is so much misunderstanding still and it does make me very sad but also really rather proud of the way we are dealing with all this, and especially proud of my son who struggled all his life and probably always will.

I am grateful to OP for raising this issue and giving me the chance to share my experience.

Your son may be filling in the UC forms wrong. They ask about household income but it just means including a partner, not a parent. My son did the same thing, but once it was put right he was able to claim.

I would suggest writing down your observations and experiences with your daughter and giving that to the psychiatrist.. and I think that would be valued.

I would not expect to go into the interview as I think it is important that she is allowed to establish a relationship on her own.. If she requests that you attend for part of it then you could.. it's not really recommended as she is an adult..

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is considered one of the most painful mental illnesses. People with BPD experience intense emotions, an unstable sense of self, and feelings of abandonment.

And this is why -

being a victim of emotional, physical or sexual abuse. being exposed to long-term fear or distress as a child. being neglected by 1 or both parents. growing up with another family member who had a serious mental health condition, such as bipolar disorder or a drink or drug misuse problem.
I think I have said enough.

Whilst you can be helpful to your daughter's diagnosis by giving some detail of the problems you have observed, please let the Psychiatrist decide what is the diagnosis and don't influence that in any way. There are so many crossovers between personality disorders, Bipolar Disorder, ADHD and ASD, just to name a few. My daughter went for her diagnosis convinced she had BPD and without seeing the consultant for a proper assessment across the board, he agreed. I am not disputing the diagnosis but don't think that is necessarily the only thing wrong with her. Not only do I have information from her childhood which might be salient but we have a high incidence of Neurodiversity in our family which my daughter kept quiet about because she won't admit to anything which might give her that sort of diagnosis. This despite her daughters being assessed for ADHD!

My granddaughter was diagnosed with that two years ago at 23. It sort of explains her issues since she was around 14. She had some therapy that helped but they gave her a new therapist and she doesn't seem able to relate to this new one.

My granddaughter has a life limiting disease,and was in and out of the hospital as a child with many unpleaaant procedures. The therapist having read her notes said no wonder she has BPD and PTSD

If BPD is confirmed following assessment- Dialectical Behavioual Therapy is the Gold Standard Treatment - 👌 Although service user / patient has to make committment to work on issues outside sessions

Mumless early use of drugs is also associated with personality disorders, unfortunately many teens don't appreciate the permanent damage that can be done by getting involved with drugs when the brain is still developing.

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Mumless

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is considered one of the most painful mental illnesses. People with BPD experience intense emotions, an unstable sense of self, and feelings of abandonment.

And this is why -

being a victim of emotional, physical or sexual abuse. being exposed to long-term fear or distress as a child. being neglected by 1 or both parents. growing up with another family member who had a serious mental health condition, such as bipolar disorder or a drink or drug misuse problem.
I think I have said enough.

Whilst your information is accurate, childhood trauma is NOT the only or sole cause of Borderline Personality Disorder.

It can be genetic/hereditary, there are also other factors such as brain structure

Nurse60

If BPD is confirmed following assessment- Dialectical Behavioual Therapy is the Gold Standard Treatment - 👌 Although service user / patient has to make committment to work on issues outside sessions

I second that, my daughter is undergoing this therapy currently and is making progress, it’s hard going and she has a ton of “homework” each week.

icanhandthemback

Whilst you can be helpful to your daughter's diagnosis by giving some detail of the problems you have observed, please let the Psychiatrist decide what is the diagnosis and don't influence that in any way. There are so many crossovers between personality disorders, Bipolar Disorder, ADHD and ASD, just to name a few. My daughter went for her diagnosis convinced she had BPD and without seeing the consultant for a proper assessment across the board, he agreed. I am not disputing the diagnosis but don't think that is necessarily the only thing wrong with her. Not only do I have information from her childhood which might be salient but we have a high incidence of Neurodiversity in our family which my daughter kept quiet about because she won't admit to anything which might give her that sort of diagnosis. This despite her daughters being assessed for ADHD!

You make a great point!

People often forget it’s possible to have more than one condition, especially if there’s a family history.

We haven't discussed it yet but I did go along to a previous appointment a few years ago when a different issue was discussed so I hope so,also that her husband can come. After all he sees her on a daily basis and it's affecting their relationship