BLACK DOG 26

Doodle Thankyou for those passages , I've thought of them so many times. My faith is so low at present. Hope your hip and legs not been too painful today and you've had a good morning with church and friends.
DHs op can't go forward with a date until they receive blood test results and he can't have blood test till next Saturday. I will certainly be ' on their backs' phoning then.Oh yes ,we made up very quickly.
HVDY What a lovely photo of LG, her hair is such a rich brown and I see those long dark lashes. You are making my favourite roast tonight! Wish I could be round the table. Your bedroom will look so pretty.
Wyllow Gorgeous paintings, I love the way you paint people and the skies. Well done being accepted for the show. Is that other picture of the trees and sky a photo. It's beautiful thankyou.
That full bible verse is very comforting.
Hope your day has been OK and Quakers meeting soothing.
Nadateturbe You have such a strong faith and you have been challenged so much with your illness. Thankyou for the verse. Hope you are coping with this new grief of your brother passing. X

Not done much today. Bought a dress from New Look online. Only opening a tin of M&S steak for dinner and adding veg. DH v depressed and stayed in bed long after me ( unusual) When I went up and asked if OK he said ' what is there to get up for?' I said ' me?'
Very windy here though warm.
Hoping everyone has had best day possible.

* Nadateturbe* Crossed posts.
You must be glad you managed to drive a d see your brother and neice. Yes it was probably too much to do that walk after but you tried.It must be difficult to know how much is too much. I hope, if you get sufficient rest, you'll be OK tomorrow to get up. You're having a real bad time at present. Hugs.
Scaredycat Missed your post , but you too have done too much. A long talk with sis must have been so nice and Im sure it was worth it. I find talking can take it out of you too. Your house front must now look very tidy.
Wyllow You mentioned your sister's funeral and singing 'Red flag' song. Couldn't help but notice there was a red flag in your painting. Also I wondered about the significance of the dove bleeding . The people waiting by the river sat patiently the the river having an opening. I'd love to know the meaning behind them.

Nadateturbe You did well to have a walk. Rest up now, and recover.
ScaredyCat My hair has been a soft pink before. I'm going to put a temporary ash blonde colour on, tomorrow. I love long chats. You and your sister have plenty to talk about, and that's great. You've been busy, too.
SweetpeaSue Your poor husband must be so tired and sick of not feeling well. No wonder he didn't want to get up. What colour dress did you buy?
Wyllow3, Doodle, EllieAnne and others.....how have you been today?

Jaffa turned his nose up at roast beef and is asleep on the back of a settee. His tongue is usually out (vet said due to missing teeth) and looks cute. x

Scaredycat yes it was my friend and neighbour I went with plus another church friend. We had a lovely time
I have to trust in God. I have to believe I will be with Dh again or I couldn’t cope. It’s not easy, my faith isn’t strong but I try very hard to hang on.
It’s easy to overdo things if you’ve got the urge. You need to take things more slowly. Hope you’re feeling ok now.
Nadateturbe a sad morning for you visiting your brother. I hope he was peaceful in appearance and you were comforted,
Another who’s overdoing things. Please take care
Wyllow how lovely you’ve been accepted for the show. It will keep you busy getting ready. Hope all goes well. Beautiful photo. Amazing shot.
HVDY i missed the photo of LG last night. She is lovely. What lovely hair. Can’t believe she’s so grown up now.
Sweetpeasue hope today has been restful and peaceful for you and your Dh. Have you seen family or just had a quiet weekend?
Church for me today the. Walk by the river and a glass of wine at the pub.

HVDY It's a brown check dress that flares a little from under bust. I don't think my description sounds very nice but I was looking for a dress where I hopefully won't look fat!
Doodle My faith isn't strong either. Didn't see family this weekend- just 2 of us.( I posted a little before yourself) DH quite low. Glad you had a nice walk by the river after church.

You said the right thing, Sweetpeasue. Just bring him cuppas and let him withdraw cosy if he needs to then "maybe a drive for a costa beside the sea?

Scaredycat the second person is my sister now dead. I am lifting my hands to the air. Ex has appeared, you'll see immediately in the picture. and you should have seen him when he first came in earlier today, frightening and looming but I'm not going to let that stay, am I.

And my parents have reappeared of course to the Dove, who represents transitions (even unto death) and love. The wounded dove at the top is obvious. DiL has crept in bottom right but I need to make the hair darker.

The lovers are archetypal: since the work has been in progress since 2007, changes over time.

Yes, it's me at the bottom, and behind me is a pale protective figure, as yet to be. Nakedness represents the naked truth.

I've just had a really superb curry, 3 items, rice mwah, enough for two - northern prices, just over £16

I'll be back later to carry on, but have to get back to the work. Phone calls and photos to Ds and Docsis in the day for feedback and for DocSis to ground me - it's agonising to grey my sister, and the feelings around representing Ex unspeakable.

xx

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tonights moon.

I withdrew the post as I had given too full details of a correspondence. MrC did contact me in a positive way without any definite arrangements but worded so its possible: I responded with apologies for rabbitting on overmuch and not taking account of substantial pressures in his life.

Have I finally put everyone off? Calling BD’s x

Seriously, truth is best x

Hi all
SweetPeaSue- your new dress sounds pretty. I love loose relaxed dresses.
What a shame your DH is feeling so down- it’s no wonder though but still upsetting for you.
You’re right sometimes talking can be exhausting. Later on yesterday the wind blew a whole lot more leaves on the drive. But at least the weeds can’t pop up again that quickly!!
HVDY- your hair must be done now- bet it looks good.
Jaffa look so sweet with his little pink tongue showing. Fancy him refusing Roast Beef- SweetPeaSue and I wouldn’t have!
My GD3 little cat has discovered she can nip up the curtains and sits on the curtain rail.
Doodle- My Sis and I are like you in our faith. We all need something to help us make sense of life don’t we. I do believe God is all around but it’s so hard sometimes when such terrible things happen in the world.
What a lovely Sunday for you. Did you sit outside at the pub- it must have been busy as the weather was lovely yesterday.
Wyllow- that picture is so full of meaning. Every time I look at it I see something new.The people are remarkable with the spirits behind them. The lovers too. You certainly have a unique talent. Being able to put feelings onto paper is special.
Mr C seems to be a person who doesn’t rush into anything but he’s certainly reaching out a hand of friendship to you.
Glad you enjoyed the curry- it’s lovely that food is giving you pleasure again.
EllieAnne- hope your weekend hasn’t been too trying.
Nadateturbe- hope you,ve had a rest after your tiring and emotional day.

Love to all - those mentioned and all those we are missing.

Phew. Back soon xx

SweetpeaSue Your dress sounds very nice. I need new trousers some time. The shops all seem to sell black, though. How are you and your husband today?
ScaredyCat Your GD's cat sounds delightful. They are mischievous when they're little.
Wyllow3 You've got a talent for painting and the ability to make them meaningful. Mr Costa is guarded, but he wants your friendship, at least, for now.

A full day with Little Girl - she was here at 8, had breakfast and a play. Mum & toddler group, which she enjoyed, the here for lunch. Park for 2 hours this afternoon, and an ice cream. Son2 took her home 20 minutes ago. Lovely day. hope ALL BDers are ok x

Wyllow As * Scaredycat* said, every time Iook at it I see something new. It really is beautiful to look at and very spiritual.
Scaredycat You see a plus in everything ( leaves stopping the weeds) . The leaves are starting to fall now aren't they - leaving sum.er behind but hoping for a colourful Autumn with sunshine.
HVDY Im such a lightweight compared to your energy. I remember well how exhausting it can be to look after little ones, also the joy they bring. Littlegirl has done so much and been so many places today- she must love coming to you. Thanks were just very tired.
Doodle Sending you love and hope you've seen friends today.

Just short post tonight, so very tired and think Fibro been worse. Cardiologist appt tomorrow at 4. Should know one way or other if it's Cardiologist related.
Wishing all a peaceful night ,body, mind and spirit.

Evening all
Been To fellowship coffee morning this morning,then lunch with friends, so tired I came home and went to sleep. A number of recently bereaved friends say the same thing. They are tired so much of the time.
Wyllow of course you haven’t out anyone off.:You’re one of us. Very interesting painting. It obviously covers so much of your thoughts and feelings.
Glad you received a positive reply from Mr Costa. Be nice if you could meet for a chat.
Sweetpeasue glad you’re pleased with your new dress. It sounds nice.
I’m surprised the hospital didn’t arrange for your Dh to have the blood tests they need without you having to wait so long,
Glad you made up, Dh and I couldn’t hold an argument for long either.
Scaredycat that little cat sounds funny, hope she doesn’t damage the curtains.
I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be one of those who suddenly find faith after an experience of some kind.
I’ve always believed since I was a child. Sometimes it’s hard o hold on to that faith. Other times I think it’s all I have to keep me going.
HVDY love the photo of Jaffa. Sounds like you all had a lovely time with LG. Ash blond sounds a lovely colour for your hair. Have you done it yet?

SweetpeaSue Best of luck to your husband for tomorrow. Hope you finally get some answers.

Doodle Glad you had a good day. Nothing wrong with having a sleep if you feel tired. I haven't done my hair yet - I'll do it tomorrow. Won't be going out tomorrow as the car is having the M.O.T and service.

Chatted to a friend on the 'phone for 90 minutes. Hope everyone has a peaceful night's sleep x

I'm thinking so much about the appointment tomorrow Sweetpeasue and I'm so hoping it gives news that will clarify matters and give you both a chance to move on.

It was a whirlwind of a weekend (I stayed in the same nightie and big colourful fleece tow days but m'lud did wash and brush teeth. so today finally relaxed after a very busy day. Pleased I got the Ex letter and The Picture out of the way, (final version to come as its with framers and had no time to photo - it has a lot more in it) From Sainsburys I got 2 items 70% off a soft big jumper and a summer skirt originally £30 -cost of the two was just over £16!
I also had a treat dyeing my eyelashes, very effective and no mascara as I'm sure I'd smudge it rubbing my eyes.

I'm desperate to get some fresh air so weather permitting tomorrow I'll head out either to the Bot Gardens or even somewhere further afield for a good walk in the fresh air.

And yes Scaredycat it was you and others urged me to have treats so now doing it. I'm now going to mega encourage leaves onto the patio, unfortunately furthest from the trees. It has big grooves in it. Mind you, after all the rain its easier to pull many of the patio weeds out.

HVDY LG does brighten up your life, as do my grandchildren. I often chat to L with DS to help out translate..get photos and videos etc. but they do tire me out very easily - 3/4 hours max? Thats why it's good I've arranged a hotel for my late October visit. The second DGD wants to come and stay, (11 years old) for a weekend or similar. Eldest DGS now 13 goes to stay with my first Ex but he's got more people energy. I hope you find the trousers to go with.

Yes Doodle all I want is just to meet for a chat well we'll see. Being at a high emotional level is very tiring indeed, so I'm glad you got a nap.

I'm currently paling with the idea of returning to doing Aikido instead of the upcoming "disco sing and music".

(I practiced Aikido with my first DH when I was in my 50's - it's one of those gentler defensive martial arts you can do well into old age. (ie you never hit anyone, you learn how to defend with subtle means, its quite fun and there were good people there, some of the same people as Ex rep up with it and now is Dan grade. It's all about getting people off balance and yoga is a good background. (and no I won't be doing the being rolled on the ground bit unless its very slow and you are working on padded mats)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=a--a1fxyHV8 example.

As ever at this time of night I've classic FM on for easy classics. its a good companion.

Wyllow3 The weather is going to be similar to yesterday, so hopefully, you'll be able to get out somewhere.

A day at home today - the car is at the garage all day - exciting things like washing, ironing, cleaning and weeding. Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day. Thoughts are with SweetpeaSue and husband x

Yes, the weather is lovely HYDY I'm going to try and avoid The Lists Must Do's (except for trying to sort out that my pic must be unstealable) and go to Curbar Bar where you park up high on a ridge and walk with glorious views.

I hope your day of domestics is not too dull.

Sweetpeasue if you look in, ❤️.

HVDY went to sit fit this morning then came home and washed my hair. Takes about an hour and a half to do. I put it off as long as possible. Hope your car passes its MOT. Having mine done next week.
Wyllow hope you get out to the gardens and have a good walk soon. It’s good you chat to your DGC. Nice that the little one wants to come and stay. It was always a treat to have ours over.
Sweetpeasue hoping so much today went well and you got some answers.
Scaredycat , Sweetpeasue is right you’re always so positive and supportive to everyone. It’s so lovely having you in this group. Always such good advice.

Thanks everyone for thinking about us today.
We were both terribly nervous about tha appt.
The echocardiogram showed the heart to be OK and nothing to explain tightness in chest. However the 'plumbing' around the heart wasn't covered in echo so we've decided to go ahead with further CT scan to show if arteries are reasonably clear. He did say that whatever the findings he fully expected there to be some stenosis there as the private Vascular surgeon had already heard sounds indicating the carotid artery as well as Subclavian is partly or fully occluded.( when his blood test is done we will hear about the scan appt for that side of things.
So glad and relieved that heart hasn't been damaged by all this waiting - though of course DH is still left with the chest tightness. We'll feel better once we know about arteries to heart( he said probably 3 weeks).

We're very tired with the worry - thanks again everyone for caring.
Hope you've all had a reasonable day.x

SweetpeaSue It must be such a relief to know that your husband's heart is alright. Hope any further worries will be dealt with when the scan is done.

Doodle Seated exercise is good. They do that fortnightly at the day centre place I go to. My car had the M.O.T. and service, had to have something done with the tracking. £450. Disc pads need replacing (DH will do that), and all 4 tyres will need replacing soon (probably next week).

Wyllow3 Did you manage to go out? I did washing (got it all dry), ironing, cleaning and cleaned some windows inside (couldn't be bothered with the weeding).

One friend rang for 45 minutes, another friend for an hour. DH is out with Son1, so Jaffa and I are having a quiet evening. How has everyone else been? x

I was so relieved to come in and find your news, Sweetpeasue. Yes I thought of you on my wonderful walk, perfect weather, lots of pix, bumped into nice people.

Will be back in later all th catch up properly - the washing machine has just gone and bleeped - but my thought for DH was, "time to do as many deep breath/relaxing chest things/relaxations/Sea gazing gentle walks whilst you wait for the CT results and any other tests" x

So pleased you’re finally getting somewhere Sweetpeasue. Time to relax a bit tonight.