Black Dogs 27

EllieAnne I'm glad you won't get the worst of the bad weather that's coming. I had dark thoughts the other week (mine passed), but please keep posting on here about how you feel.

Wyllow3 Well done with the gym goals. Sad about that man- perhaps he hasn't got anyone to talk to, but then again, he might have MH problems. We each go about our own lives, not knowing how other people may be suffering.

SweetpeaSue I'm very tired (wonder if it's to do with the flu jab). Cleaned up a bit, put washing out, and DH & I watched a BBC drama "The one that got away". Rather far-fetched, but worth a look. Not seen family, but that's ok. I'm quite content today. I'm pleased that you and your DH are feeling a bit better. Roll on Wednesday - not long now.

I ordered Jaffa's food, from Amazon, but somehow ordered too much, so now he's got 90pouches of Sheba to scoff (it'll last him a while but he IS greedy). How's everyone else been? Doodle? ScaredyCat? Nadateurbe? As well as Allsorts, Candy and everyone x

Evening all.
Been to church today and had a nice chat and coffee with friends after. Then I went to John Lewis shopping and visited DS1 and family on the way home.
Sweetpeasue I didn’t realise how dependent I was on the internet until I didn’t have it. Didn’t know what to do with myself. Hope your headache is better. Bet you can’t wait for the scan results. Hopefully the journey will not be too taxing.

Well HVDY that’s Jaffa sorted. If only I could order my meals from Amazing and pop open a pouch in the evening. Not sure I’d cope with cat food though even if cats like it. I enjoy my meals too much.
Glad you had a contented weekend. Lot to be said for being contented.
Wyllow poor man. Perhaps he was on the phone to someone. Glad Quakers is helping you now and you’re making good use of the gym. I really need to loose weight it I live my food too much. Not been doing enough exercise but I must start.
Ellie Anne you can always say how you feel here. No need to put on a front or make out things are better than they are. We all care.

Oh, HVDY. I have no doubt whatsoever he had severe MH problems, I've never seen as bad except when I was an inpatient - and he would then be getting medication help - he clearly wasn't...no, he wasn't on the phone, no ear buds, talking to himself, some gesturing, his whole face was a scream of pain. Gave me a sense of perspective.

I don't think I could face popping the ouch either, Doodle. However top notch the cat food is.

it sounds like a full day and it may have been a little better for you - tho I know there is always the "coming home to the home alone"
90 pouches? Don't let Jaffa see them, now 😊 there might be midnight raids.

I'm so glad your very dark place is lifting just a little, Sweetpeasue.I hope the healing continues and a bit of energy returns and of course Wednesday is another step into "what is going on? what can be done?". Listen, if you cant make it, then make sure that he can get support if possible like the hospital volunteers - how far is it away?

Doodle - no, popping pouches wouldn't do it for me either. It sounds like a full day, and an engaging one, specially seeing your family: but I realise there is always the coming "home alone". I always feel better after good exercise - it releases something or other - that makes one feel better. I cant tell you how many times I've heard at the gym, "well, I really didnt want to come today, now I'm so glad I did" etc.

I did meet a very large lady who has fibromyalgia there with her sister. (visiting from London) she said I cant get up from the floor " have you tried chair yoga - its on U tube" sister gets encouraging "go on" . (sister had started it all before then, it was a nice natter) . but I had forgotten to say "why" (tho she has been advised gentle exercise helps a little with the pain)

(which is that even gentle exercise oxygenates the blood and the blood goes into the muscles and tendons around the joints that ache and has healing possibilities)

I also met a lady in Costa who turned out to have lived in my area for 30 years - what a nice chat - such a friendly little place.

Yes, I have calmed quite a bit. My Quaker group at the moment is extraordinary - like any other church/faith or even friendship group, it has its up and down times - so yes is healing.

HVDY I had no trouble with the flu jab for a few yrs then after I started with Fibromyalgia last year I had a bad reaction. I literally couldn't keep awake ( DH took me to GP and I could hardly sit up straight and slurring words) I was given ECG that was normal. I've not had one this year or Covid. DH had Flu/Covid pre- booked for next week but I've said to postpone it till he feels better.
Thanks for TV drama tip. Oh Jaffa is made up for a while now!
Doodle Im sure we'd all be lost without Internet now. My DGS didnt even look that surprised when I told him about the red phone boxes we used to rely on and the little queues outside. I think he thinks we're so old that in 'our day' we had horse and carts!
I texted the lady I went for a coffee with a while ago( from book group) she knows I've not been able to go for a few weeks. Tomorrow is a Yr since her DH died. I could barely believe it had been that long and Im sure she couldn't either. Time is a strange thing. I often think of you and say a little prayer for comfort and peace, as I do for all BDs here. Its strange- we've never met but are all bonded together in this thread.
Wyllow I really loved your painting . It must be exciting and a little nerve- lracking to have your work on display.
That's interesting what you said about the blood flow in our bodies and how it can help Fibromyalgia. My body has got so stiff and the more sedentary I am the worse it gets. I've never been very active person though we've both done hikes and walking some yrs ago. I think its a matter of setting time out and making it a habit.
There are so many people who are lonely and troubled- you must have felt so sad for that man. You are kind and brave to reach out to strangers so much. Its one thing to start up a chat with someone who doesn't look that unwell but another to do so when the person looks so mentally unwell and troubled.
I spoke up for a man , once, who was playing an accordion in the street. Another man kicked his bowl of coins , telling him to get back to his own country. I was so shocked but shaking in my shoes- could barely believe what I was seeing. Others joined to back up for the poor man.
We often look at same faces in Costa. We got talking to a couple and sometimes see them there.

Well that's another hr spent looking at my screen when I should be sleeping. Had a bad dream so had to come down for a cuppa.
Hope everyone is snoozing and if you're awake * Nadateturbe* hope its not because of pain and you are OK.
Night all - or should it be Morning.

Doodle Your day sounded rather pleasant, especially calling in to see your son and his family on the way home. I think most of us would be lost without the internet now - I would, with all the shopping I do.

Wyllow3 I'm one of those "large ladies" (fat), and struggle to get up off the floor (only since the stroke - I was really quite fit before that, despite being fat). I sometimes practise getting down then up from the floor.

SweetpeaSue This is the first time, I think, that I haven't felt unwell with the flu jab. I remember using those 'phone boxes to ring "Dial a Disc". The number was 16. Also, we used to ring a number to hear the time! I hope you managed to get back to sleep ok.

Little Girl will be here at 8. I woke at 6, couldn't get back to sleep, so am ready for her arrival (DH won't get up until 7.45). Hope everyone has a decent day x

Well what better than to come into Black Dogs at those bad times in the night? Well done Sweetpeasue.

BTW, I was Yoga trained bu 2 main people, and one of them is a psysio - the information about blood reaching the still pain parts is medically absolutely correct. You do need to move in the most basic way - have folks still got the "do in bed " yoga? and the deep breathing THROUGH THE NOSE BD's dont forget.

It would be good if you could have a mother chat with he lady you contacted - I recall you saying it was very rewarding.

Well you woke early *HCDY but somehow, on an LG day, you rise to the occasion. something about little ones and cuddles.

I'm not sure how I am inside my head, as I'm supervising a really nice guy cutting back loads in the garden, but lots of choices to be made, and I'm very tired and hoping he wont be long.....its completely changed the garden, opening it up to the sun, and to the back fence where hopefully there can be a seaside mural.

But I'm glad the CPN's are coming tomorrow - emotionally I feel well off centre, and cant get Wyllow back atm.

Wyllow3 I hope the gardening bloke did a good job and that you're pleased with it so far. In what way do you feel "off centre"? Anything to do with you taking the extra meds the other day, then perhaps not having them today?

Good day with LG. Playgroup, lunch here, park, Morrisons and home just in time for DIL picking her up at 4.30. Hope everyone's been ok x

Wyllow so nice to hear you’re getting out and meeting people and having chats to people all around you. It’s good for you and good for them.
Oh Sweetpeasue what a lovely thing to say. Thank you. Yes we all care for each other. Hope you slept alright last night. Only a couple more days till that appointment. Hope all goes well.
HVDY I can’t get up from the floor unless I have something to put my elbows on. Since I broke both wrists I can no longer use my hands to push myself up. I just have to crawl to a chair or something and heave myself up from there.
Glad you had a lovely time with LG. I bet she’s quite big now.
Wyllow hope you are pleased with the garden. Good you’re seeing CPNs tomorrow.
Scaredycat how have you been today. I’ve been doing mass tidy then set to in tackling the accounts a job Dh always did. Finally accounted for everything so now just relaxing after dinner with coffee and chocolate😊

Hi all
EllieAnne- I do hope those dark thoughts have subsided a little.
It might help you to open up a bit here if you can. We all want to help.
Wyllow- that poor man . I hope he finds somewhere where there are kind people to care for him. I agree exercise certainly has a feel good factor . I always feel better after walking when I don’t really want to go out.
Will you do the seaside mural on your garden fence? Don’t forget Seagulls - they really are the most entertaining and amusing critters.
Not sure what off centre is but Wyllow is still there just perhaps feeling a bit weary after such a busy few weeks. You have had many things to process so now is maybe the time for just enjoying the things you have achieved and having lots of nice gentle chats. Your family must be so proud of you.
HVDY- bet, it is the flu jab taking it out of you. Nice to hear you say you are content - such a relaxed word.
Have you seen The Girlfriend on TV- it’s really good.
Ooh Jaffa is well taken care of - hope he doesn’t go off it before it’s finished. Cats do that don’t they just when you think you,ve cracked it with what they like.
You,ve had a nice day today - it was lovely weather here.
Doodle- glad you had such a nice day yesterday.
Yes I,d stick with your nice meals - cat pouches wouldn’t be too good eh!
It’s great that you enjoy your food- better to carry a bit of weight and do some exercise as you say. Just a little walk each day helps.
SweetPeaSue- Haha - when I was a little girl we DID have a fish man with a horse and cart that came every weekend. With crabs and cockles etc.
Hope you get together with that nice lady from Book Club . She could become a good friend for you.
We love Costas too- pity we don’t all go to the same one.
Wednesday is nearly here 🤞 Hope you got some more sleep.

Been to visit my friend this afternoon. She has been able to eat a bit more this week and it’s done her good. Her DH is still in ICU and they still can’t find an explanation for his low blood oxygen.
Tomorrow I,m having my 1st Cataract done- a bit scared but everyone says it’s a doddle.

Sending love to all- those mentioned and all our missing friendsxx

HVDY What a lovely full day with LG. She's a little darling isn't she and brings you so much joy.
Scaredycat Now I think of it , I remember a horse and carts coming to my aunt's selling all sorts of things though ai can only really remember tiny round tins of polish , which is strange. I've heard that cataracts are simple things to do too though its the thought isn't it. Will think of you tomorrow.
Doodle Im glad that Wednesday has nearly come round but am thinking about what is going to happen if they drag their heels with letting us know the results then how long will it take for treatment. My DH can't go on like this.
Oh your poor wrists- I hadn't realised you'd not got full strength in them.
Hope you enjoy your chocolate- is it milk or plain?
* Wyllow* You've done so much lately that I think a bit of a slower pace will do you good. You are making your garden your own now and that's great. I hope you find help in the CPNs tomorrow. Sounds like you need a good chat about things.
EllieAnne Hope you're OK.

DH has been in quite a lot of pain today with his arm- been worse these past couple of weeks and I didn't think it could get much worse. I've just had a right cry. I feel so upset and feel like we've been left to ourselves ,Dr wise. Worried that DH won't get the treatment he needs fast enough. Very low indeed.

Have follow up appt with Cardiologist tomorrow afternoon. He's already said, through secretary report no need for intervention but we might as well hear what he has to say and explain it all.

Fluffball tomorrow ( which DH didn't want but I think she'll cheer him up a little).
Night everyone.x

Firstly - pop me in your handbag to go with you Scaredycat tomorrow. I'll distract you.

You re spot on about how I feel and why.

Weary, so many triggers, so much work done, I felt it again when I woke after a nap today, "whats the point" but picked up by remembering the CPN's tomorrow.
yes its is good the meeting new people
but
I'm not yet at the point where I can call them for natters and real support. So many people around me have several long term friends or local family to do that with or a DH and I have atm none of those.
I'll get there, lots of potential - but you cant rush it especially as we get older I think.
Love the idea of the seagulls - count it done.

Sweetpeasue do ask them for the results quickly or at least how long they will take. You haven't been deserted - you can ring your psychologist and you have mentioned some good people you have met recently...

however, its been so very very tough its understandable completely why you feel this way and I feel you are totally right about fluff ball and DH, good thinking.

He did an absolutely fab job, HVDY. really glad, and I did some good planting and sorting outdoors, it was a lovely day. it must be lovely at the playgoers, watching all the young tottering around in their own little worlds.

That is so brilliant, Doodle, getting to the bottom of the accounting task. Admin BD star of the day x

Doodle I can't get up unless I hold onto something. When I broke one of my wrists, years ago, it took a year or more to get right, but you've got metalwork in one, haven't you? That will make it more difficult. Yes, LG is getting big now, and tall, too. What type of chocolate do you like? I love Green & Blacks, although it's dear. Aldi sells a good dark one.

ScaredyCat I haven't seen The Girlfriend, but I'll look it up. Hope your cataract procedure goes well today. My brother had both of his done years ago, and it was fairly quick. He said colours were so vibrant afterwards.

SweetpeaSue It's understandable that you got upset. You're worried about your husband. If you need to, ring the Psychologist for a chat. I hope your husband has a less painful day today and that you both have fun with Fluffball. Fingers crossed everything goes well tomorrow.

Wyllow3 The gardener man must be good at his job. I'm glad you're pleased with the work he did. You've been getting your home, garden and life back to how you want it. Yes, LG is an absolute delight. She'll be here all day on Friday, too.

Waiting for 8am when I'm going to contact the GP about my DH - for a week, he's been feeling nauseous for a week now, and yesterday felt quite unwell. It seems to be related to the new BP pills he's on, so he didn't take it last night. Aqua and brunch later. Hope everyone has a decent day x

Update -
I did an online triage form for DH, they texted him and asked him to go for a blood test, but didn't email him a form for it. I rang the surgery (he wouldn't have bothered), was 2nd in the queue at 8.35! The form is at the surgery, for him to collect. I rang the other place for a blood test appointment - 9.20! Things move quickly at our GP surgery. We're very lucky here.

Our Little Girl. She's a joy.

She is gorgeous. she looks happy, and centred, and trusting in being loved. Which is a great gift to give. When I think of the situation way back - Mum pregnant, a possible split - well....I know you were part of the it turning out as well as it might have.

I've just had the two new CPN's. They usually have an hour, but stayed I hour 20 mins. So much was covered. I like them both. Both got the idea. What do I need? People to walk with me through the storms until I reach a safe enough haven - in myself, maybe with another.

We had time to have a Quick Look at the end at a video with my male person of interest as he is a public enough figure to have been interviewed locally. They took in everything basically and are definitely interested in working with me and I feel confident in the arrangements.

They definitely are not of the view you sometimes get in MH that being articulate does not mean well-ness: and another sign - they did not question research I'd done on a certain drug (the one giving me slightly blurred vision, tho not to the extent that I cant drive).

I also have blurred hearing but I dont mind that with music, its its people who talk too quickly especially on the phone.

We laughed quite a bit, and that is perhaps the best sign of all - only MH people who are confident in themselves can let go and do that.

Still in my fleece, because I was so nervous this morning that I filled the time catching up on admin in various ways, all productive.

I'll try and have a nap, and if not, try and find something to watch on Tv, tho my concentration is generally very poor. Simple things are best, that don't trigger loads of spin off thoughts.

Wondering how both Sweetpeasue and Scaredycat are with medical matters, and I've forgottenDoodle if its an art or chair exercise day.

Safe getting off the floor - I do teach it - if your wrists cannot bear weight without doubt the best thing is to shuffle on your bum over to the settee and lean over it. Top tip - always breathe deeply IN when getting up, prevents that dizzy feeling. Pull your tum in when doing any lifting, its strengthens the core and the back.

If you are stuck on the floor and cant move for a bit, but your wrists are reasonable OK, flop over on your side and rest awhile, then gently use your lower arms (not just the wrists) to push up, stick bum in air, and do your best from there (every body is different at this point).

Wyllow3 We all think our own children/grandchildren are clever/funny/beautiful, don't we? Yes, life is so good now for Son2 and DIL. They've all got a happy family life now. I wish my sons had been as well-behaved as LG is . Perhaps girls are easier? I'm glad you get on so well with your CPNs. It's important to be able to trust them and to feel able to talk about things. I'm going to practise getting on and off the floor, with the tips you suggest, and see how I get on. At the moment, if I haven't got a settee nearby, I push myself like a very overweight toddler .

How is everyone else? I've just packed away all my nice summer dresses and got jumpers and cardigans out. I've also sorted out some bedding and towels we don't want, so that will got to the RSPCA animal shelter tomorrow x

HVDY Aww what a beautiful photo of LG. She's a little darling isn't she, with her gorgeous eyes and brunette hair. She so suits that fringe too.
Glad you managed to get your DH sorted out so quickly this morning. It means a lot to have a good GP surgery. Yes, my summer things have gone away too and out with the cardis , boots and opaque tights.
Wyllow I appreciated those tips about getting up off the floor ,thay were good for me too , though Im not on the floor very often! So pleased you got on so well with the CPNs. It means a lot when communication between you is good and you feel on the same wavelength.
Yes, understand any hearing difficulty which is one reason Im not a fan of phone appts. Good you placed part of the problem with that particular drug.

My MH worker is trainee psychologist , I was told. She's about 19 or 20 and nice though I mainly saw her through the 7 week course about getting onto your own feet again basically. I believe Im , officially, discharged though she said if I got in to difficulties I can call them. How I feel now is I think, how anyone would feel faced with the frustrations of my DHs medical problems not being recognised and, frankly, dismissed and neglected. Its disgraceful to need to go private because of the Vascular Dr at our local hospital.
Im coping at present but there are times when I feel so alone.
* Scaredycat* Hoping you got on OK with your medical appt. You must be pleased its over with. Look after yourself.

Well, looks like I was right about DH all along. The scan report showed light to moderate plaque in arteries to heart and the Cardiologist, after listening to DH again, definitely believes he has Angina.
He's to keep using the spray that opens arteries and Cardiologist thinks a treadmill test, when he's a bit better( today DHs been bad) will help him understand how his heart is coping. He said secretary will make appt in about 3 weeks-- so we can get Vascular scan out of the way.
Remember, the Cardiology nurse he saw a few months ago told him to throw the spray away!!
So tomorrow is the CT scan with dye on Carotid and Subclavian arteries in York. I just hope we see the Vascular Consultant soon after as now DH is NHS patient with him ( the one we saw at Harrogate)

DH has been most unwell today. I've done the driving. When we stopped at a woodland area to walk Fluff he was so dizzy and took a while to walk but he's felt terrible all day.

Hoping everyone has had a decent day.Look forward to hearing how you are Doodle and Scaredycat and EllieAnne.

Scaredycat my friend had her first cataract done about 10 days ago. She was really worried and nervous. Said it was fine and over so quickly, my DH had both of his done too with no problem. Hope all goes well for you. Good your friend is eating a bit more., Hope they find something to help your friends husband soon.
Sweetpeasue hope all goes well tomorrow. Don’t hold back. Tell them how worried you are. The time for being polite and reticent is gone. You’re coping with too much.
Wyllow good friends are worth their weight in gold. I’ve been very lucky to have made some good ones. Hope you can establish a relationship of trust and caring with people soon. You are doing so well.
HVDY. Wow can’t believe how LG has grown. I see she’s passed her driving test already 🤣. She’s lovely. It must be such fun to be around her. Lovely age.
I like both milk and dark chocolate but only Cadburys milk and Waitrose 72% dark. Not so keen on chocolates but just plain slabs suit me. How about you?
Glad you liked your new CPNs Wyllow. Thanks for the tips on getting up. Yes I do shuffle to something I can lean on. Trouble is my knees are not good either so can’t push up from them. I must start doing some stair walking . That might help.
Sit fit today and art Thursday. Church tomorrow and then going to the hospice for afternoon tea. So much for the diet.

Sweetpeasue sounds like things are progressing now and you are being taken more seriously. I’m sorry your Dh wasn’t well today but perhaps it was a good thing the cardiologist saw how bad he was. Good luck tomorrow 💕

You're right about stairs, Doodle. As long as you've got something to hang onto they are actually one of the best exercises you can get. Going up that is. Cos if your wrists are weak then stronger knees will make all the difference as you say.
(Gyms have step machines for the very same purpose!) But a cycle machine can help a lot it keeps knees loose and if you push it a bit then strengthens them.

At last tomorrow is close now, Sweetpeasue. Key tests ..you so both badly need to know how things stand before you can work out ways forward, when they add the result to todays news.

It's not an ideal time of the year for dieting anyway Doodle. colder weather.....is the food really nice a the hospice then, as in cakes?

SweetpeaSue You havebeen correct about your husband all along. Fancy that nurse telling him he hadn't got Angina! A nurse at my GP surgery told me I didn't have Asthma. They're not always as knowledgeable as they think they are. Best of luck for today's appointment.

Doodle LG is such a happy child, which is good. I prefer a bar of chocolates to individual ones. Hope you have a nice day today, and enjoy some cake - diets can wait.

Wyllow3 I'm glad you said going up stairs is a good exercise. I go up and down the stairs at home several times a day. A friend rang me last night, and she said she struggles to get up and down from the floor. She's 67, a year older than I am, so I didn't feel so bad then.

EllieAnne How are you?

Awake at 6 - now I'm back in the front bedroom, it gets noisy out there with people slamming car doors (going off to work) from 6-7am. Hope ALL BDers have a decent day.

Hi all
Well that’s No 1 cataract done. This morning my vision seems sharper already but still extremely tired so just a little post for today.
SweetPeaSue- thinking of you both today and hope it goes well.
Doodle- Hope you enjoy church and afternoon tea . Hope lots of cake is involved - diets can wait.
HVDY- what a lovely pic of dear little LG. Did Jaffa enjoy the lovely new room?
Wyllow- Glad you felt comfortable with the new CPNs. They sound like they really got you and vice versa .
EllieAnne,Candy, Nadateturbe and all hope it’s a better dayxx

Scaredycat Glad everything went well with your eye op. You'll be seeing much more clearer over the next few days. Jaffa only ever chooses to sleep with me, so when I was in the 2nd bedroom, so was he. Now I sleep in bedroom 1, he joins me. He's there now, actually

Scaredycat So glad you are 'seeing' the benefit already. Take it easy - you must have felt quite anxious not knowing how things were going to go. Only natural.
HVDY Aww Jaffa loves you so much. His fur looks gingery underneath, he must feel so silky.
That Cardiac nurse was in the Rapid Access Chest Clinic in hospital. I'd asked GP to send DH there and he at first refused saying the blood test didn't show anything untoward about the heart. Then he finally agreed and I thought DH would have a scan but we just saw the Cardiac nurse for a talk. Its ridiculous isn't it.
Just sitting in waiting room now while DH having the CT scan done on Carotid and Subclavian arteries. He's been hungry as not allowed anything to eat.