Black Dogs 27

HVDY you’ve done so well with your diet. That’s an amazing loss. Yes we had turkeys and all the trimmings at our sons. It was lovely. Had a nice time. Goodness that was a late call. Not surprised you went to bed.
Wyllow not surprised at waking up low. Nice you had a good chat with your sister. Not more techie problems. Sorry about your hearing aid. Do you need it to watch Tv?
Scaredycat yes had a lovely day with family yesterday. DS2 going to hospice with me today. Hope you had a lovely time yesterday. It can get a bit noisy with lots of people but fun too. Are you having a quiet day today?
Ellie Anne so nice you met with a friend this morning. I expect she was glad of the company too. Sounds like you had a good Christmas Day. Recall it to mind when you’re feeling low also the fact your DD phoned and spoke to the family. That’s really good. Have a nice walk in the woods but don’t get cold.
Sweetpeasue hope you’re having a relaxing day today and DH is feeling better.
I’m going to DS1 tomorrow so having a rest today. Happy Boxing Day all

EllieAnne Enjoy your walk today. Its sunny here though very cold. Ah your DH will miss his usual routine.
HVDY Glad you managed some of your Indian meal. Your weight loss is truly incredible - youve done so well. Late night visit from SIL - oh dear.
Doodle Glad you're going to son's tomorrow but youll appreciate that rest today. Hope you're feeling a bit better.
Still hoping my DH will improve with time. He just seems exhausted all the time and extremely tired -hes aching all over too which can't be right.

Scaredycat You have more days of madness? Remember to remove the hearing aid when gets too much- 🤭
Wyllow Oh that first waking up , when daytime worries dawn - I know it well. Im so sorry about how Mr A has set you back . Good that your sister knew to give you that call and be there for you.
We went into Costa at lunch time and quite a lot there .

Had a small walk though so many cars and people out ( forgot about Boxing Day Dip). Washing on line and going to make up bed. DIL texted me to ask if our tummy's were OK after yesterday as they're both upset tummies so could have been a bug! Oh dear, hope it wasnt infectious.

ScaredyCat Yes, LG will be here. 12 of us altogether (Son2's mate always joins us for Christmas, birthdays, etc). It can get noisy, can't it! I remember people saying how nice it was to see family but nice when they go. I realise what they mean, sometimes. DH's sister is peculiar.
Doodle Glad you had a lovely time at your son's. It's always good when someone else does the cooking.
EllieAnne I bet your friend was glad of your company. I think a lot of people will be glad to be back in a familiar routine. It's been frosty here.
SweetpeaSue The Norovirus is going around, as it does every year. I believe that's what I had. I felt so unwell, D&V, shivering/sweating, feeling weak, etc. My stomach still feels off (only had 2 biscuits and a Slimfast so probably won't eat any/much of this buffet.

Hope everyone has a pleasant evening x

HVDY Oh I hope your tum soon gets back to normal. Son and wife only drinking water at moment. Sis just called , her DH has now got chest infection and got antibiotics issued from Emergency Care at hospital ( its his mum that's in hispital). Lots of bugs going around.
.

Hi all. Well I don’t blame you for hopping off to bed HVDY when it was so late. It does sound like you are spot on identifying the bug. What a time of year to get a tum bug. I’m just glad you were well enough to see the family.

It sounds like you had a very packed day, Scaredycat. I can understand wanting to take those hearing aids out ☺️. Perhaps you will have to with 2 more days of it. I expect you will want a quiet patch at the end of it all.

That feeling of things being more normal, Ellie Anne - oh the relief? I hope you made it on the drive and a walk. It is very beautiful out there in the sun, the skeleton trees made lovely by the patterns of light and shade.

I am so glad your family are there for you and with you Doodle. It cant make up for all, but so glad that DS2 coming to the hospice with you, and I hope the rest of the day you were able to relax for awhile, you’ve been so busy. (Although the Christmas celebrations in church mean a great, great deal).

Costa seems to feature in Black Dogs, doesn’t it, Sweetpeasue. It is a bit of an even for many who need to “get out” in an unpressured way. I’m glad you managed the small walk and got some housework done, each bit a victory for you. Thoughts with DH, too x
I so hope the family poorliness doesnt reach you, you have enough on your plate: I hope that they can get better and nothing lingers

I woke full of lurgy and I’ve not just re-injured my knee, but some kind of nerve trapped damage on my neck.
Dear BD’s, its no good trying to tell me to put thoughts of MrA on one side, because its not just the event, its the fall out as regards those who I was close to at Quakers. Emotionally it was my safe space, my haven, my value and belief system.

It’s my long term state of Mental Health problems that I can’t compartmentalise as a mentally more healthy person could.

One doesn’t get 22 years of Mental Health support especially these days without it being judged severe and me being at risk. My various difficulties are a fact of life I have learnt to live with more than I ever, ever used to be able to, and I am grateful for this.

Like many here, I’ve had to give up thoughts of maybe ever being able to do this or that.

But emotionally and faith wise its brought up conflicts within that could really bring me down.

It troubles deeply me that a man of my faith principles could be violent and I am supposed to forgive him especially when he refuses to see what he has done. He talked about Jesus so much, he lived a respected and good life. How can I forgive? How can I recover my faith based on Peace and Love, the best sort of christianity?

And something I cant discuss with those I am closest to, my family, because they dont have any sense of the spiritual they are unable to see part of what troubles me, although my sister does understand what happens when the values central to your heart are challenged so profoundly.
Some of my fellow Quakers that I loved and trusted have been equally troubled and as you know some have taken sides to a degree. To get across how disturbing it was, I’ve has to reveal far far more than I usually would about the nature of my MH vulnerability to a group, only some of whom understand MH stuff.

I have taken some measures today that might help. I have started writing a diary again for my MH workers. I was lifted up this morning by a fellow Quaker - the one who is closest to me (she has a long MH history and comprehends everything really) asking of a coffee date, and she’d had a bad Christmas so reached out to me: it felt like a lifeline, she asking for my support.

I drove out, feeling very wobbly, to the quiet place me and abusive Ex used to go for peace, and actually managed a little cry, and wrote one of those letters one is unlikely to ever send, becuase although I wish we could meet and mutually recognise what was good, so our 11 years together isnt just written off by him as “al my fault” and denying the Good, its unlikely to happen.

Tonight I’ve contacted my first Ex who knows me well to have a phone chat on Monday about it all - he understands faith stuff you see as well as knowing me pretty well.

I’m feeling unwell enough CFS wise to know that I wont be able to fulfil my offer of art help with the abused women group. I haven’t the energy or the confidence. This hurts, it feels like a step backwards: but in the meantime before Christmas I did get news of a local art group for people with some MH difficulties that was very local: this could be what I need most, as everything upstairs is set up for doing art or sewing but I vent managed to do any.

I haven’t overcome the block that came way way back when I dropped a career in art in 2004 and has the total breakdown that I did then. Perhaps it matters more I do little bits for me rather than rushing onto helping others.

Like others here whose stories have come out over time, we haven’t been able in our lives to achieve what we might have done. I’ve two degrees, and am very well read and articulate, and only held down a job for brief periods - but poor mental health will out in the end and the best thing we can do is accept it and not self chastise.

Maybe the greatest achievement in my life was to raise a son who is happy and successful: my first Ex did manage to hold down a lifetime job but had his own problems due to an appalling childhood, and when DS was little it was probably the best of times, and he let me down badly when I was ill (he was unable to care for me when I got really poorly, to the extent he withdrew into himself and ignored my cries for help - we have talked this over and come to terms with it)

but was a really super great Dad.

For us to be able to raise a son who has not got the shadow of Mental Health in him, who chose a wife who is capable and emotionally very strong, and manages a very disabled granddaughter - well, that counts for a great deal. But he is currently, at our age, seeing a therapist, to help with his own lifelong shadows. (He also has, I’m glad to say, a good partner).

Gone to bed with a 🥃 and watching festive pottery throw down on iPad. My best time of day. Am thinking that if this is my best time then what is the point of living?

Because dear Ellie Anne we cannot know what the future brings. You feel now it can never be any better,

but cannot know that. In the meantime, you are doing things that help you to survive, and that is good, and there is no shame in it. x

Up very early as Currys was due anytime from 7am to collect that wretched TV, and I need my money back!
I'm glad Christmas is over. The usual routines suit me best.

HVDY I didn't intend my point about not urging me to put it all on one side as critical to you, I know it was done with the very best of intentions, I just wish I could.

Hi all

We are waiting now for our GD3 who is having a flying visit to myDD. She is a practice nurse and has a lovely MH nurse DH and a 7yr old Son. She understands mental health problems as her and her DH have suffered a lot over the years.But she is always smiling and such a kind girl. So they are all coming here so SiL can watch the footie as well. Then tomorrow she will drive back to the Midlands. We all miss her a lot but she has a lovely family up there. So I,m having a quiet coffee before the mayhem begins again.

Be back later when they have all gonexxxxx

How lovely, and so glad the commitments to and knowledge of MH are echoed in the many good people I've met over the years. It's increasingly the case that only those with heartfelt commitment now work in the service.

Have a lovely flying mayhem visit, before calm resumes. its good to know you are returning them to her lovely family.

Currys have been and gone and taken The Monster Away and they were nice, thoughtful and cheerful - they have hardly any calls today instead of working till past 8 just before Christmas!

I'm going back to bed 🙂

SweetpeaSue Hope your son and his wife feel better soon. My Son2 had the D&V bug on Christmas Eve. I'm ok now, thankfully, and was able to have some buffet food yesterday. Hope your BIL's chest infection clears up quickly - does he suffer with those things? How are you and your husband?

Wyllow3 You had to get up early! Glad they took the TV. Your refund will come through soon, I hope.

ScaredyCat Hope you're having a lovely time with your visitors.

It was great to have all the family together yesterday. There was far too much food, but almost all of it went, and I even sent some bits home with both sons. LG was very entertaining - she's talking quite a bit now. Quiet day and tidying today. Hope everyone's ok x

Christmas leftovers are always welcome, I think. I'm glad you had a great time. Its a privilege to watch LG grow, it seems no time at all since she was born!.

HVDY Pleased you were able to have some buffet food yesterday and you're feeling better. Seems son 2 and his wife are also much better today. My BIL has asthma and does get chest infections quite a lot these days. He was in hospital with a collapsed lung a few mths ago. The antibiotics should help I think.
DH just the same ,thanks. He seems to need the angina spray every morning first thing.
Ahh it must be lovely to hear LG putting words together now. 😊
EllieAnne Hoping you're not as low today.
Scaredycat It must be exciting to see your DGD 3 again. Hope you have a nice time.
Wyllow I think the art class where you can be just one of the group might suit what you need right now. The other art group might be too much responsibility right now the way you're feeling. Writing your diary again might help get some of your emotion out and Im glad youve been cheered by the nice Quaker asking for help.
I know its not exactly the same , but the Dr who let me down badly and went against the big principle of Duty of Care shook me to the core. He injured me in the most profound and intimate way and left me with harm that Ive never spelt out fully here as too intimate. He will never ' pay' and I'll never get an apology of any kind. I know, 100%, that what he did by taking the deep fibroid away from my uterus wall when he thought it was a polyp ( I have his thoughts written on private med records I sent for) was beyond his medical experience.
What I'm trying to say is , I felt completely violated , and he got off Scott free. I can understand a little of what you might feel and I felt like that a long, long time. I still feel upset when I think of it - BUT time has helped enormously, as did psychologist and talking to psychiatrist . Talk to them again next time you see them plus your nice ex husband on Monday. I found the more I could talk and people listened the more I felt understood.

Please dont think Im saying my experience is the same - its not I know.
Just dont want you to despair- you can get through this. x

Evening all. Had a lovely day with DS1 and family today but have been having bad acid reflux for a couple of days and it’s quite bad this evening.
Sorry HVDY that you have been so poorly and other members of the family too. I wasn’t great last night.
Good you managed to eat a bit today. How nice of you to have your sons friend round. I bet you make him feel like part of the family.
Scaredycat hope you have a lovely time with your DGD3. She sounds a kind and caring person like her grandma. Hope you have a good day.
Sweetpeasue does your Dh have any more cardiology appointments coming up, I know you’re seeing the vascular chap in February but does your Dh have a heart follow up. If not maybe a trip back to the GP to get an explanation of the pain still and the need of the angina spray. Hope he’s ok.
Wyllow glad the monster Tv has gone. Hope life returns to normal a bit now. With regards to Mr A I think the sad reality of life is that people are a mixed bunch and not all religious people act in good faith. Don’t let it knock your trust in the Quakers, There are good and bad in all walks of life just trust that the majority of people you meet are kind and good.
Only Mr A knows his reasons for what he did. He has no understanding of the impact his actions have had on you and may never do so no matter how much you tell him because it may well be beyond his comprehension. Some people will always put their spin on it and he probably makes his own excuses for himself. I hope he does t attend any of your meetings and over time your trust can grow again.
Ellie Anne I do wish you could find an interest in life. Something to do that makes your days more worthwhile,

SweetpeaSue What you experienced with that doctor doing what he did was terrible. Unfortunately, as we know, it's practically impossible to get an admission or apology from the NHS, let alone any resolution. You've done well to come to terms with what happened to you. I wondered, too, whether your husband has got to see anyone again about the Angina?
Doodle Son1 gets acid reflux and has medication from his GP. What starts yours off? Yes, Son2's friend is like one of the family. They've been friends since they were 7 (now 41). Shame he's never settled down and had children - he wanted all that but the girl he got a house with cheated on him and he's been quite bitter and reluctant to get with anyone else.

It's been a day of idling about, but we'll go out tomorrow (possibly meet up with Son2). Hope everyone has a peaceful night x

Yours was a worst experience, Sweetpeasue. It was a private and personal invasion because he would not take responsibility for it and its consequences. thank you for your honestly, better out than in.
That lack of respect for a patient shows him to be a coward: instead of trying to make things weller, it shows a shocking and imo male arrogance.

I hoped you would feel able to comment, Doodle, as you are an active church member. Thank you. Its actually written in our collection of faith writings (goes back 400 years) explicitly how we should treat each other as men and women and refers directly to respect and permission as regards touching and sex. We'll see if he lives up to his own stated principles and what he has said about Jesus.

I will have some "comeback" in time. I shouldn't hand the power over to those who havent backed me emotionally so much but focus on these who had, since ultimately, I can tell anyone I please, I have felt too intimidated by that woman backing him and want to see what he says first. Since he has been charged and confessed guilt he can't exactly wriggle out of it.

My current idea of today is that it should be minuted in the whole Area meeting, as a first and separate item (that goes out to everyone),
Not to name him, but what happened, with a quote from our faith book on the topic of respect between Quaker men and women (there are a few and some refer directly to sexual behaviour).

I don't want to see him again in our little meeting for a long time if ever.

I hope your tummy settles soon Doodle You have been so very busy and then rich Christmas food, I reckon you need some gentle ordinary time to settle tho I know you like to keep busy.

There's the "after Christmas down" for some - I expect it's hitting some BD's.

I realised that this is only the second time I have lived alone in my life.And that I am currently making a far better job of it than the last time despite whats happening. ie, I actively enjoy living alone at times.

thinking of those not in and hoping to see you soon xx

Hi all

HVDY- so glad you could enjoy your food when the family came over. LG must have loved being with everyone- so cute to listen to her I bet.
It’s lovely when people stay close to their old school chums- it’s a pity that one selfish girl had such an effect on him. He sounds a sensitive chap.
We had a really nice day yesterday but I was so tired when they went that I went to sleep for 2and a half hours- it was only late afternoon. That is so not me. I guess I really am getting older😩the cats loved having them here and our GGS2 wanted to take Kai home.
SweetPeaSue- does DH have Angina a lot? or is the spray for general chest discomfort? I remember my late FiL saying
It was very painful.
Yes it was lovely to see DGD3 again- she’s so loving and funny. She has had MH and physical troubles over the years but her ADs like most of us here do their work well.
Very wise helpful words for Wyllow- what happened to you can never be put right but you can chose how you deal with it now.
Doodle- maybe all the rich food has set off your AR.
Yes GD3 is kind and caring out of all our GC and GGC she is the only one who would give you her last Rolo!!
Her patients are very lucky to have her.
Your words to all as usual very insightful and kind- that’s why we love you.
EllieAnne- think back to Xmas when DD phoned and you had family with you- that is the point of living. You enjoy your time alone because you are not on pins and can relax and be yourself. It’s a respite from the difficult times you have.
As Wyllow says none of us know what is round the corner both good or bad but it’s worth waiting to see!!
Wyllow- You seem to be thinking more rationally about MrA .
It really is time he re read all your scriptures and the very clear codes of behaviour towards his fellow Quakers. As you say of course you can talk freely - that disagreeable woman has backed the wrong horse. One day she will realise it. Let’s hope he keeps a low profile.
Your last paragraph was one of hope and positivity. Now the good things about living alone are making you more content than living with someone who was making you ill.
I think you are right you need to enjoy your Art just for you at the moment- helping others can come a bit later.

Love to all- missing some of our more regular posters . Hope you are all doing as well as possible.

ScaredyCat You've been so busy lately, it's no wonder you felt tired. I hope you feel better after your sleep. My friend is 69 and has a nap every afternoon. Your GD3 sounds like a very caring and empathetic person. She's obviously in the right job.

Just got back from being out with Son2 and LG (DH has got an upset stomach, DIL has got a bad back, so neither wanted to be out). Nice to get to chat with Son2 on his own, for a change. We went to Rufford Park (did a lot of walking), then had a pub lunch. Hope everyone is having a good day x

Wyllow Thankyou for understanding my own personal experience though ,truly, I dont rate any bad experience as 'worst' , all on a scale of truly bad to each individual and how it affects them/us.
I so hope the Quaker meeting went well today and you managed some farm of peace. Mr A has been charged and confessed -- no he can't wriggle out of it now or in future .
You show such positivity in your present circumstances of living alone and that's an amazing achievement through your MH trials.
Scaredycat 2 and a half hrs sleep that you really needed. Its lovely to see family and we need those special times -- do look after yourself too. Christmas can end up trying to fit so much in . Glad you have your furry friends to cuddle.
HVDY Sorry about your DHs tum upset . Oh those times alone with sons that I rarely get are so special. Its not that we dont love their partners , its just it very rarely happens once they've left home( speaking purely on personal experience). Lovely to chat about things and share that bond. Im same age as your friend and am known to have an afternoon nap lately when I really need to , though not every afternoon but Im a terrible sleeper at night too.
You understand the 'no admission- no apology and no resolution' side of NHS blunders. We know there are excellent Drs and nurses but have seen the other side.
Doodle Hoping today has been kind to you. Oh I hope the acid reflux has gone away- my younger son suffers with it and its horrible.
The private Cardiologist we saw wanted to do some test where blood flow can be seen ( privately it was going to be £800 ) but we recognised, at that stage he was going to need a lot of further care , plus the stent procedure was needed so he told us he'd write to GP and refer us to our local Cardiology hospital. We had letter from them to say they had DHs cardio info and if we hadn't got appt by beg of Feb, we were to call them.

Went for a walk late today thinking it will help DH keep reasonably active. Big mistake in cold weather. I thought he was doing so well ( it was freezing cold) but he had to stop and he had, by his own words, the worst episode yet. Pain encompassed whole chest and between shoulders and into back. He stopped , took spray, but was visibly shaken. Drove home where he took spray again and resolved sat in warm room.
Calling GP surgery tomorrow to see when a certain GP is on ( GP who recognised his Giant Cell Arteritis and sent him to emergency day- care). Hes not seen a GP for a good few mths now. We've no faith in how hes been treated.

Hoping all have a peaceful night. Thinking of those not in and hope you're OK.x

HVdY I’ve only had acid refux a few months. Now I get it quite often. I do have omeprazole which helps but so many bad things about it in the press I’m going to chat to the GP when I see her soon.
Have you had a relaxing day today?
I’ve been to church then went for lunch with friends. Quick Look in the sales. Bought a jumper then home for coffee.
Wyllow I hope things work out as you want them too. Having your experience minuted without naming names plus extracts from your faith book may well be a good thing to have done as a reminder to others of required behaviour.
Scaredycat your DGD sounds lovely and kindhearted. I fear I only have myself to blame for the acid reflux. I ate far too much and had a large glass of wine which doesn’t do AR any good. So instead of having a relaxing evening like I’d planned I had to sit bolt upright and had pad pain where the acid was high in my throat. Serve me right I’m afraid.
Sweetpeasue I’m pleased you may get an appointment with cardio soon I hope. I think your Dh would be better of taking things easy till the cause of his pain and breathlessness is dealt with. Good idea to see GP. Hope he feels better soon.

Afternoon sleeps are a Very Good thing Scaredycat and you’ve been so busy. Otherwise the rest of the day is just spent in exhaustion…I’m glad it was another lovely family occasion tho. Are there any more to come? Do you celebrate the new year? Thank you for the many thoughtful words.

HVDY there is nothing quite like Mum/Son time alone, it’s rare when they lead busy lives, isn’t it? Lots of tired poorliness around there. I’m glad you had a decent walk.

I’m also glad you take afternoon naps, Sweetpeasue. Your body and mind need them. I’m glad that NHS Cardiology appointment is going to happen. It must seem a long way away.

But I’m so sorry that the walk was a mistake. Maybe for now stick to the costa visits and short bits of fresh air. Is DH doing anything at home? Light practical stuff, a bit of art? One needs the desire to do its of course.

Good idea to call the GP, because it’s really important every thing is as “joined up” and in the GP notes as a coherent story. Any point in your jotting it down for the GP? They do have the power to request a more urgent appointment, after all.

Yes I had one/two shocking examples of MH care early on, 2004/5.
One was giving me ECT but not referring me to try counselling/talking therapy first.
Another bad mistake almost certainly contributed to my one serious suicide attempt.
But soon after that I actually met at last a good consultant who took measures that turned the course of events around. She’s actually the Quaker Woman now that I can count on most, as she has MH problems too and we share so much. (She retired some considerable time ago before she joined Quakers). Faith on getting help was restored, but also acceptance there will be some less than adequate and somehow one has to negotiate around it.
Persist with courtesy if possible but do what you have already - let yourself break down in front of doctors, when that the feeling inside is overwhelming.

That sounds like a less pressured day, Doodle. Nothing like a bit of retail therapy now and then. I’m glad your tum has settled.

Quakers was more relaxed. Just a few there. It was actually the first day for 5 days I had been with “real people” not just on the phone. Most of us there were clearly glad Christmas is over!
I ignored MsD I have difficulties with and set the Area Meeting thing in motion. Then, joy of joys, one hour back at the gym things feeling “normal”.

Then a long afternoon sleep and after a rare long chat with DS on the phone who wasn’t too busy I’ve just pottered.

And yes, it’s a relief to be on my own and no one demanding things from me and please myself now I’m a bit more relaxed.

It is worrying family wise that my very disabled DGD is at times showing very difficult behaviour and actually hitting out at people.

As she grows bigger and bigger it’s harder to manage her physically and she doesn’t understand people who don’t handle her like her family or her teachers. How can she “understand” when she cant see and her mental age is about 4 especially as she enters puberty and therefore emotions beyond childish ones. How amazing Ds and DiL are.

Thinking of Ellie Anne and nadateturbe and many other BD's who are more 'occasional" and hoping to see you "in".

Hi all
HVDY- lovely to have a day out with your Son. Such a special thing to do. I googled Rufford Park- it looks beautiful and interesting too.
I too treasure any time spent alone with my DS and hopefully next month he,ll be able to visit for a few days. His wife stays at home with their 3 dogs so we have time for lots of chats.
I,m beginning to think afternoon naps aren’t so bad after all. It just makes me feel old- I am though so get over it!!!
SweetPeaSue- I hope the cardio appt comes quickly your DH needs to be seen ASAP. I think it’s the cold weather that made him feel worse when you tried a walk. Now my AF is 24/7 it certainly affects me with the cold air while walking.
Hope you get an appt with the clued up GP very soon.
Have a restful day- finish off the chocs!!
Doodle- Ah what a shame after enjoying your good meal with the wine. My DH used to get AR badly especially after eating late but he takes prescribed Lansoprazole and no longer suffers with it.
I bought a jumper too yesterday. What sort did you get? I popped into M and S to get my poorly friend a birthday present for Tuesday and the Sale was on. You just have to look don’t you😀 I got a zippy one with a collar and a zip you can have open at the bottom or top. I needed another jumper like a hole in the head but it jumped into my bag.
Wyllow- OK I give in afternoon sleeps are tempting now.
No we don’t do New Year. I personally hate it and don’t like all that enforced jollity.Also after The Accident it was worse than Christmas - a year ahead without them.
It was meant to be that lovely Consultant is still in your life. I,m so sorry you had to have ECT . That was the one thing my Mum was terrified of being given and thank goodness she didn’t have to have it.
Must have been good to get back in the world - you passed those difficult days with flying colours.
Your poor dear GD.Its beyond imagining how she must feel- so many new emotions and feelings and no power to deal with them.Yes her parents are special- the lashing out must be sheer frustration- but so difficult for them to deal with.

Hoping all our missing regulars are all OK. Love to all

SweetpeaSue I love seeing Son2 alone, but it rarely happens (I see Son1 alone at times). He talks freely with me, knowing that anything he says won't be disclosed to DIL or any other family member. We're almost into January, so hopefully your husband will be seen soon. I wonder if the cold weather makes him feel worse? Did you manage to get through to the GP this morning?

Doodle I did a lot of walking with Son2 and LG, then he treated us to a pub lunch. What colour jumper did you get? I've just bought a turquoise one, in a smaller size than before.

Wyllow3 You had a terrible time of things, MH-wise. You've certainly come a long way since then. Your GD must get bewildered, especially when her hormones are coming into play, as well. The parents are marvellous in being able to cope with her - One of my nephew's 15 year old twins is severely disabled (Cerebral Palsy in all limbs, so she can't stand or sit, has to be hoisted and is unable to talk or swallow). His wife is incredible with everything, and does it all alone, as he had a stroke 4 years ago, so he can't help. I admire people like that so much.

ScaredyCat We're lucky to have lots of lovely parks a short drive away. Clumber park and Newstead Abbey are not far. You can look forward to more time with your son, then, which will be nice for you both.

Not a lot happening today - bought some essentials from B&M. Jaffa's got a vet check-up later. Hope everyone else is managing to have a decent day x

Instructions to Scaredycat for Afternoon naps.

Permitted at any age.

Put electric blanket in bed to heat it up. Mine is sweepable on too.
Get in comfiest old clothes.

Get a hot water bottle.

Set your computer up to play favourite calming music or wave sounds or whatever floats your boat.

Have twinkly lights on in bedroom.

Surrender to said nap.

Back later to catch up on news - its time for the nap.